Author's note: I highly recommend that you read a certain chapter in Cage in Lunatic Runagate before you read this story. I can't say which one, since that would ruin the surprise.
Arigatou, Gomennasai
It's been a while, hasn't it?
I'd mean to do this a long time ago, but things kept happening, and I forgot about it for a while, and...
...
...no, I'll be honest. It was cold feet that kept me from doing this earlier. Looks like I finally managed to get off my lazy ass, though. Funny, I've been through hell most of my life, but somehow I this is harder than anything else I've ever done.
Anyways, where to start...
First, I want to say thanks. You did a lot for me, you know: maybe more than you realized. You took care of me when I was just a stupid little girl, obsessed with something just as stupid. You helped me rise and stand on my own two feet, even when I felt so tired I just wanted to lie down and die. You treated me like I was a person, and showed me kindness, and warmth, and fellowship, not hatred and scorn like everyone else did. You were the brother I'd always wanted, the father I'd always wished for.
You were the one person who'd smile back at me, and tell me to keep going, when everyone else sneered and told me to stay behind. No one would've blamed you if you'd left me to rot that day...but you saved my life. So I want to say thank you. Because, now that I look back, you, and the things you did for me, meant a lot to me.
Second, I...I wanted...
...
...I don't know why I betrayed you that day—no, that's not true. I do know why. I just...I just don't want to admit I did it for such a petty reason. If it's any consolation, the rest of my life after that was a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but...that doesn't change the fact I betrayed you. You did so much for me, but I stabbed you in the back for my own selfish desires. You gave me your trust, but I spat on it, and murdered you. Everything you ever did for me, everything I just thanked you for, I threw it all away in a heartbeat for one pathetic, childish reason.
I guess...I guess what I'm trying to say is...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I killed you.
I'm sorry I betrayed you.
I'm sorry I threw away the bond we shared while we climbed that mountain.
I'm sorry I spat on the kindness you showed me.
I'm sorry I made the laughter we had together mean nothing.
I'm sorry.
...
...hollow words, aren't they? I hope they might let you rest a little easier now. But nothing can undo what I did to you, so I'll spend the rest of my life remembering and atoning, for your murder and a thousand other sins I still carry with me.
Thanks, again, and...and I'm sorry.
Goodbye, Iwakasa.
