Nationals.

He knows Mr. Schue said they were going no matter what, but this was so much better.

They had beaten Dalton and Vocal Adrenaline (Suck on that, St. James) and had legit won and earned their shot to showcase their talent on a national stage.

Rachel was having the time of her life.

He shook his head violently and averted his eyes from where they had, once again, wandered to take in the sight of his ex-girlfriend.

They had arrived in the city a day early so that they could wander around, take in the sights, take photos and psych themselves up for the performances that would start the next day.

Mr. Schue had booked the performance hall for seven that night for at least one run through. (Rachel and Kurt were bucking for more but Schue had told them that he didn't want them to wear out their voices. That had shut them up pretty quickly.)

Stop thinking about her, he told himself. You can't keep doing this.

He watched as Rachel grabbed Kurt by the hand and the two of them smiled widely for a photo that Mercedes took.

He wondered when, exactly, the three of them became as close as Santana, Brittany and Quinn used to be. But then he remembered that he had purposefully removed himself from her life. He was hurt and she was remorseful and he didn't want to forgive her.

So he, of course, acted out.

He didn't do something stupid (like Puck) or unhealthy, but he did do something hurtful. And he did it on purpose. And he didn't try to hide it.

(That little voice in his head, the one that sounded surprisingly like Sean Fretthold, reminded him that she hadn't hidden it either. Not really. As soon as they instituted the "no secrets" policy, she had come right out and confessed everything.)

But he was more hurt, more angry, more something and he did the worst thing he could think of: he went to the first glee rehearsal after Christmas, threaded his long fingers through Santana's dark hair, and pulled her in for, admittedly, one of the hottest kisses in his life.

He made sure to do it while Rachel was in the room and smiling hopefully.

He knew it was a dick move but he was still so hurt and she deserved to feel the way he did.

So he made sure, in the following weeks, to hurt her in a similar way on a daily basis.

(He refused to admit to anyone that it hurt him just as it hurt her, maybe more.)

"Staring at her isn't going to take back all the shit that went down this year," Santana said from beside him. "You just need to accept the fact that the two of you are done."

"I have," Finn responded, a slight smile crossing his lips as he watched Rachel spread her arms wide and spin, her beautiful, unashamed laugh echoing off the skyscrapers. "I know it's over."

Keep saying it and one day it might be true, his inner Fretters told him.

"No, you don't," Santana spat. "She kissed Puck, Finn. She kissed him when she was with you. She cheated on you with your best friend. Ring any bells?" she asked as she nodded over to where Quinn and Puck were reading over a map, each pointing at a different place they wanted to visit.

"Listen, Santana. I've had a long time to think about what happened. And I know that Rachel wouldn't have done that unless …"

"Unless what? Unless Puck forced her?"

"Unless she was really hurt," Finn responded. "And I don't blame her. Because I know it wasn't just because we had, you know, sex," he whispered the last word.

She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips as she watched her boyfriend wrap one arm around Rachel and the other around Mercedes, smile on his face, while Kurt snapped a picture. "And what, exactly, was it?"

"I lied for months, to her face. She … she came clean about Jesse …"

Santana rolled her eyes. "I knew she didn't let him fuck her." She looked over to where Quinn and Puck had joined the other three. "I'm pretty sure Berry lost it to Puck, anyway."

Finn scoffed. "She didn't sleep with him. It was a simple kiss," he told her with a serious frown. "And then she stopped it."

Santana laughed, loudly, patted Finn on the arm, and wandered over to pull Sam away from the other group.

When she got there, Finn noticed, she tucked one hand into Sam's back pocket and took one of his in her other.

He shook his head, watching as Santana pulled her boyfriend from the group to point out something one of the sidewalk vendors was selling. His eyes then traveled over to Quinn and Puck, noticing he had his arm wrapped tightly around the blonde's waist as he spoke to Rachel and Kurt.

Rachel.

It always came back to her, didn't it?

He was pretty certain she had moved on. Or at least moved away from the idea of them being together. He had wanted space and she had given it to him. And when he decided he maybe didn't need (or want) as much space as she had give him, nothing he did to bring her closer actually worked.

He smiled more, got into the songs they were singing together (not that Schue was really giving them any because of the break-up factor), asked for her help on homework … and she just smiled, did as she was asked, and then promptly acted like he hadn't been smiling at her and grinding with her.

It messed with him almost as bad as her cheating on him did.

He didn't have a full duet with Rachel at Nationals – it was the last song the group cut – but they had a small duet in the middle of Inside Out. He practiced that song more than the others, even before it was selected, without even realizing it. He would sing it in the car, in the shower, at the dinner table … He wondered what it meant.

I alone am the one you don't know you need
take heed, feed your ego.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
sink when you get close, tie me to the bedpost.

I alone am the one you don't know you need,
you don't know you need me.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
Tie me to the bedpost.

The line he sang the most? You don't know you need me.

But he did know he needed her. He knew but he figured it was too late. Seemed like the story of their lives. First he was with Quinn, then he was messed up over Quinn. Then he let her go and she was with Jesse.

Then they got together and it was great.

Until it wasn't anymore.

It was rough, these days, knowing he almost forgave her and he was ready and willing to begin working on Finchel: Volume Three.

But she didn't follow him with her eyes anymore. And she didn't force herself into his songs, his dances and his personal space.

She didn't really have anything to do with him anymore.

And that hurt worse than her kissing Puck.

"Sing with me, Kurt!" Rachel called out joyfully as she pulled him to the island in the middle of Times Square that held the recruiting office. (He remembers her stating that it was her favorite part of Manhattan because it made her feel like she was in the middle of it all.)

"What?" he laughed as he let her pull him along.

Rachel began singing, a wide smile on her face, her right hand making a fist as if she were holding a microphone.

So the story goes on down the less traveled road
It's a variation on the one I was told
And although it's not the same
It's awful close, yeah

Kurt chuckled, shaking his head a little bit, before taking over his part.

In an ordinary fairytale land,
There's a promise of a perfect happy end
And I imagine heaven just sort of that
It's better than nothing

Rachel grabbed Kurt's hand, her smile widening as they started to draw a small crowd of what could only be tourists.

So you'll be mine forever and almost always
And I'll be fine, just love me when you can, yeah
And I'll waiting patiently
I'll wake up every day just hoping that you still care

Finn stared as they drew more and more people in with their killer voices and amazing stage presence.

Kurt continued to sing, eyes shut and hands making whatever kinda gestures he was making (dude had floaty, girly hands and there was no way he was going to put time and effort into naming his step-brother's motions), belting the lyrics like he had written the, himself.

In the corner of my mind, I know too well
Oh that surely even I deserve the best
But instead of leaving I just put the issue to bed and out of my head
Oh and just when I believe you've changed for good
Oh well you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would

Rachel took over, her eyes scanning the crowd, smiling when she saw a few video and digital cameras. She nearly frowned however, when she saw Puck collecting money from the innocent viewers.

When I run out of second chances, you give me that look
And you're off the hook

Because your mine forever and almost always
When I'm fine, just love me when you can, yeah
And I'll wait patiently
I'll wake up everyday just hoping that you still care

Rachel finished out the chorus on her own and then Kurt joined in for the bridge.

Oh, What am I still doing here?
Oh, It's all becoming so clear. Yeah

You'll be mine forever and almost always
It ain't right to just love me when you can, Oh
I won't waiting patiently
Or wake up everyday just hoping that you'll still care

He couldn't take it anymore. The words hit too close to home. It felt like she was singing to him and not to the crowd and not just because Schue had picked the song. It felt too much like she was closing the book on them for good and he wasn't ready for that. Hell, he was only just getting ready to start chapter three.

So he did what any warm-blooded male would do when he was in love with the girl singing about how she wouldn't be waiting for him anymore.

He stormed through the crowd and stopped directly in front of her, her voice faltering before stopping altogether. "Finn?"

"Enough," he said lowly.

"Enough what?" she asked as she attempted to step back.

He wouldn't let her, though. He gripped her elbows gently and tugged her closer. "Enough moving on," he said seriously. "Enough of you ignoring me, of you only talking to me when you have to. Enough of us not being together."

"Finn, I …"

"I don't forgive you all the way yet," he continued as if she hadn't tried to interrupt. "But I love you way too much to let you go for good."

"Finn, we haven't been together in months. We …"

"We belong together, Rachel. I see that now; I think I always knew. But I was mad, real mad. And I'm not happy yet but I think a lot of that is because we're not together." He took a deep breath before saying softly, just for her, "I'd rather be with you and angry than be without you." He paused, looked to his shoes, then back into her eyes. "Are we still part of something special?"

She nodded quickly, fingers come up to wipe the moisture from her eyes, before choking out, "Yes."

"God, Rach. I've missed you so much," he whispered before bringing his lips to hers for the first time in forever.

I won't waiting patiently
Or wake up everyday just hoping that you'll still care

Kurt continued the rest of the song for their audience, a proud, happy smile on his face.

Forever and almost always
No it ain't right to just love me when u can, Baby
Ain't going to wait patiently
I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you'll still care

.xo.

For tjcrowfoot, who needs a little Finchel love. (And who helped convince me to even finish this.)

For Amy Rochelle, who needs me to not be writing Puckleberry.

For egyouppt & iGoToExtremes, who fixed it and helped me keep going with it.

And for everyone who barfed in their mouths when they heard about the possible Fuinn.

#fildos