Part I

Author: LexysK23
Chapters: 1/3
Words: 1227
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this plot.
Author's Note: Sequel to She was Family. Hope you guys enjoy. It'll be a short story. This story wouldn't stop bothering me. So here is the first part.

Uploaded: May 05, 2015


I want something more, a life worth fighting for
I don't need a reason, to set the world on fire
And burn a little bit brighter now
There's something beautiful hiding in the shadows
So set the world on fire
Let's burn a little bit brighter now

Brighter by Against the Current


It had been a week since the death of Nadia. It hit the District 21 hard, but it hit Erin Lindsay harder. She was closest to her. She lived with her. Nadia's things were still in her apartment.

Erin had been staying at Hank Voight's place, not having the energy to go to own place. Everything at her home reminded her of Nadia. She didn't even have a car, because it was where it all happened.

Erin was currently sitting in her room, the one she used if she stayed over at Hank's place. She was holding the birthday card she had found at her desk. She remembered feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces.

She wondered if anything could put her heart back together. She wondered if there was something that would tape it up again. She wondered if anything could get rid of the pain she was feeling.

Just before she came to a conclusion, there was a knock on her door. She looked up to see Hank standing there.

"How are you doing kid?" he asked, his voice soft and comforting.

"Okay, I guess. I don't know," Erin muttered, turning her attention back to the card.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What's there to talk about? She's gone, dead. Nothing is going to bring her back," Erin told him, her voice filled with disgust. Disgust for the fucker who killed her, and disgust for herself for not being to save her quicker.

"Erin, don't do this," Hank said, pleaded.

"Do what?" she questioned, her voice void of emotion. She looked up at him, her eyes vacant. One look showed Hank how bad it was. How affected Erin was, he just hoped he would be able to save her.

Chicago PD

Erin wished she was able to get Yates. She wished she was able to make him suffer like he did to her. She wished she didn't have her heart broken.

Erin looked at the small amount of vodka in her cup.

Her mind was going back a year. When Nadia got out of rehab. Her talk with her. How proud she was of her.

"So the next stop would be finding a job," Nadia told her, excited. "a real job. One that I'm proud of."

"Do you have any leads?"

"Well, nothing in stone. But there's this woman that helps out at the clinic. She said she'd introduce me to her daughter, who runs some sort of clothing store or something." Nadia smiled. "I don't know. I need to work on that one."

"It's all good. Listen, Nadia, don't break my heart again."

"I won't."

But she did, in the worst way possible. There was a hole in her heart, one that would never be filled again. She was broken from it. She didn't know if she could become fixed by it.

Erin didn't get close to many people, and the people she did, she gave her heart to. Not once did she think she would lose a part of it with someone in the way she did.

Chicago PD

She didn't think things could get worse. Honestly, she thought it was already as bad as it could be.

She had hardened. Her felt no need to show people a soft side anymore when she went out.

It was the day she went back home that crumpled all her walls. It was the day she opened the door, and all the memories returned of the time they spend in her apartment. Of all the times they would stay up late and watch movies while eating pizza. Of all the times they'd talk boys. Or when they talk about their past, and how far they'd come.

Erin slowly walked inside, before locking her door. It took all she had to not break down and cry. She saw her mail for her, and Nadia. Nadia was still getting mail. Erin, with trembling hands reach for the letters and looked through them.

There was one letter that caught her attention. It was the results of Nadia's exam. Erin slowly opened it, and upon reading the results, let out a sob.

She had passed.

She had passed. She could have become a cop, but instead, she had to rot in a grave. Erin let out a scream, as she fell to her knees.

Chicago PD

Jay Halstead looked at Erin's desk. She hadn't been to work in a few days, and it worried him. Hank had told his detectives that the woman needed a few days to herself.

Jay had held Erin when they found Nadia. He felt Erin break in his arms, and he couldn't help but worry. He knew Erin would need more than a few days. He knew she would need help.

But he also knew that she was not going to accept it. She was going to try to process and deal with on her own. And if anything, it was going to make things worse. Jay had seen her in the day following their return from New York City. She was not the same woman he had come to know. She was nothing but a shell of who she once was.

And it made him want to just hold her and bring the Erin he knew back. He just hoped she was not too far gone, and she was able to return.

Chicago PD

Erin raised the cup. "To you Nadia."

"She wouldn't want you doing this," Hank said, standing behind her.

"Why not?" Erin questioned, her voice slurred. She had been intoxicated for sometime.

"Erin, talk to me."

Erin laughed. "Yeah, talking is going to bring her back."

Hank sighed, not sure what to say.

"C-can you go? I want to be alone."

Her surrogated father nodded. He didn't want to leave her alone, but he didn't want to pressure her. He wanted her to deal at her own pace. He just hoped she would soon. Before things got worse, and her repression made everything worse.

Hank left, leaving Erin alone at the dinner table. She reached for her pocket and took out a card. There was number she was tempted to dial.

If things got worse when things were looking up, what was the point? Life was going to screw them up, so why try? Why fight it?

Erin got her phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?" a deep voice said from the other side of the line.

"Dom? It's Erin? I'm an old friend of Charlie's. I was wondering if you're still dealing?"

She heard the person laugh. "Lindsay. I knew you would call some day. Couldn't stay away could you? Yeah, I have some stuff."

Erin closed her eyes. "C-can we meet?"

"Of course. I know I'm going to love doing business with you. I heard what happened. I know the perfect thing that will make everything better."

"Great," Erin muttered, her eyes filled with tears.

She was going to live a screwed up life, so why fight it?