Hi, this is my first Fan Fiction and I ask you to bear with me. Thanks for reading :)


"Jacob!" Nessie screamed. Why were they taking her from me? They promised they wouldn't. I tried to run forward and try to get to my Nessie. But cold hands held me back.

"Jacob." She screamed again. Her little eyes were looking at me from over Edwards shoulder. They were brimming with tears and it was breaking my heart. They were ripping me apart from the inside.

"Sweetie, just get in the car with your Mom. I'll talk with Jake." Edward said, placing Nessie in the car in her car seat.

I didn't understand why this was happening. She was supposed to stay with me forever. Yesterday everything was fine. We were going to the beach today. We were going to build sandcastles and have ice cream. She had bought a bucket and spade yesterday and was excited when I had put her to sleep.

Edward walked over to me, his bronze hair bobbing slightly, his amber eyes sorry. "We have to take her away for a while Jacob." Was all he said.

Emmett and Jasper were holding me back but now they are holding me up, my legs aren't holding me up any more.

"I can come with you. I don't need any of my stuff. I just need to be with her." I begged. Edward shook his head and looked pained. Nessie was screaming even louder. "She wants me Edward. Please."

Edward looked back to Nessie who wouldn't settle down. She was wiggling and twisting out of her booster seat. She looked five but was only one. We'd dealt with the Volturi, what was happening. What was so bad that she had to be taken from me? She was so little. So small and she needed me.

"Jake," Edward said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "This is what is best for her. She will be safe. I promise. And we'll come find you when it is safe enough for her to be with you. This is for both of you."

My heart stuttered. "How is this better for me or her? She needs me. I need her." I tried to move but Jasper and Emmett held me in place.

"No, Jake, let her go, she will be back. I promise you. I will let you say goodbye, but you need to let her go. Please, don't make this any harder for her." Edward said.

It felt as though he plunged his hand into my chest and ripped my heart out. He had used her against me. Her little brown eyed self against me. She is so precious and fragile and I didn't want to cause her any undue harm or pain.

I nodded glumly. Bella let Nessie out of the car and she ran straight for me, her little chubby arms wrapping tightly around my neck. Her heart was fluttering faster than usual and her tears were making my t-shirt damp.

"Don't leave me Jakey. I don't want to leave you. I can come and live with you in La Push." She cried. I picked her up and held her close as I walked her to the car.

"You are going to be fine Little Ness." I told her, making my voice sound as strong as I could, even though I could feel the tears seeping out of my eyes. I placed her in her booster seat. "You will be strong for me, won't you Little Ness?" I asked her buckling her in.

She nodded, reaching for me. I put her hand to my cheek and I was bombarded with images of us. She just remembered me carrying her around to her family. Her Christmas last year, when I picked her up so she could put the star on top of the tree and when I sneak into her room after Edward and Bella put her to sleep so I can tell her the stories and legends of my tribe.

"Why can't you come with us?" She asked, her big brown eyes wide. I pushed the bronze locks from her eyes. I wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled the best I could.

"I wish I could Ness. But your dad said you need to go with them. I have to stay in La Push. You need to be with your Mom and dad because they need you too sweetie." I could feel my voice start to break.

"Don't you want to be with me Jakey?" She asked. Her eyes filled even more with tears.

"Nessie, of course I do. I love you more than you will ever know. But I have to let you go for a while. And it's breaking my heart but it has to be done. I will be here with you though." I said, putting my hand over her little heart. "I will always be with you in your heart and I will always be thinking of you. No matter how far away you are from me, you will be in my heart and my head." I told her, trying to smile as much as I could.

She tried to smile and put her hand over my heart. "I will always be thinking about you Jake." She told me, her little eyes over flowing with tears.

She understood that it would be more than a while before I saw her again. I don't know how I would even cope with getting through the night without her. I kissed her forehead and backed away before I grabbed her and took her to La Push with me. I slammed the door of the car and Edward and Bella climbed in the car. I closed my eyes.

I could hear Nessie screaming from the car but I couldn't open my eyes to see her this way. She was screaming my name and crying and I opened one eyes. She was pounding her little fists against the window. I placed my hand on the window.

She pressed hers up against it for the brief moment before the car left the driveway.

In twelve hours, the Cullens had decided to leave for whatever reason and leave me behind. They had decided to take the one person I lived for with them and my heart ached. Ached wasn't even the word for how my heart felt at this moment. It felt as though they had all simultaneously reached into my chest and ripped it out, tearing it apart. And then they had set the strings that attached me to Nessie being set on uncomfortably tight. She was too far away from me. I could still see and hear the car and she was too far away from me.

My legs could no longer hold me up and I collapsed into the heap on the floor. The rest of the cars drove past me. I was dead inside now. My heart was no longer beating for just Nessie, because Nessie was no longer with me, it was beating to keep me alive long enough until she was back. Like super gluing something together in the hope that it would hold together until you are able to get the original back or get a new one.


2 Years, 4 Months Later

I expected to be only waiting four or five months for them to send word and tell me I could come to live with them. My bags were constantly packed, waiting for the call. I left my mobile and home phone always charged.

But after two years, I gave up. I think I would have forgotten what Nessie looked like if I didn't have her picture framed all over my house. She'd look like she was ten now. She might want to wear make up or starting to leave her Disney phase behind. She might be giving art more of a go. Or playing piano until late in the night.

I miss her. I want her back with me. I don't know how much longer I can go on without her. I am scared to leave La Push if she comes home to find me.

So I am stuck here, on my own, isolated from my community because I can't handle the couples and happiness.

This is my life without her.