OMG! Simon Baker is thirtyten! How come nobody told me about this? Why am I just figuring out now?!

Anyway my name is Blizzel, please keep in mind that I have only seen about a handful of The Mentalist so please forgive me if I've made any mistakes. Trust me, I'm trying here. This is my first Mentalist story. This thought has been stuck in my head for like EVER so I had to let it out. You don't know how painful it is to keep thoughts like this unwritten. Or maybe you do, I dunno, not a mind reader here.

So please read, review, and enjoy. Oh, and I currently have no beta reader so mistakes are mine. I would like it if you pointed out those mistakes so I can change it.

Disclaimer: Did you forget that I've only watched a handful of episodes? If I owned them I would be on season two right now and not episode 11.

Happy Birthday Simon!


The Other Jane

Chapter One: Any Other Night

A night at the bar.

That's all that happened. No snooping, no murders (at the moment), no psychics, no threats. Just a bunch of co-workers hanging out at a bar after solving another case. But it was that one night in particular that set things off the balance. Any other night and everything would have been fine. Just peachy, yes peachy. An old, out dated phrase but true. If it were any other night this wouldn't have happened.

"Patrick? Patrick Jane?" He pretended not to notice the familiar voice or the looks his co-workers gave him. He just took another sip of his drink and hoped the person would go away.

They didn't.

Their face was now way too close to his, bright brown eyes shone in happiness, cocoa colored skin still as smooth and toned as ever, short ebony hair with light brown highlights. It was her alright. And where ever she was they were. "I knew it was you Patrick! It's been forever!" the girl gave him a bone crushing hug and he surprised his companions by hugging back.

"Melina!" he said with a light voice, as if he wasn't freaking out that she was here, in a local sports bar. "How've you been?"

Teresa Lisbon was suspicious. Who was this Melina? Why did she practically scream and interrupt the good time they were all having? Did she appear in Patrick's TV show? And if she did, well, what exactly was her problem? Wayne Rigby on the other hand couldn't help but notice the girl's outfit, a red halter top with black jeans and high heels that made her slightly taller than his boss. The girl looked young but he couldn't help feeling she wasn't much younger than him. Kimball Cho was just wondering why the girl interrupted him, he was telling a good story! While Grace Van Pelt thought she looked slightly familiar. Did she do sports such as football maybe boxing?

All in all, everyone was confused.

"I've been great actually." Melina said showing off her gold wedding ring with a red ruby in the center.

Patrick smiled "Let me guess, Trevor Colt."

"Yes!" she happily exclaimed while Ven Pelt's jaw dropped.

"Trevor Colt as in the best cage boxer in the world Trevor Colt?!" she couldn't believe it; she was talking to the wife of her idol! Grace knew she recognized her somewhere, the arm candy of her celebrity crush, the beauty she secretly envied, the old friend of . . . Patrick Jane? Something about that just wasn't right.

Melina Colt proudly nodded her head "Sorry we didn't invite you to the wedding but you like disappeared off the face of the Earth you know? Apparently you changed your number and never told us."

"Us?" Cho asked "How do you know Jane anyway?"

Melina gasped "Janie you didn't tell your friends about us? Well we'll have to put a change to that." Janie?! "Come on follow me." She practically pulled Jane over her shoulder as she led the agents and consultant into a table all the way at the back of the bar. It was a big table, with some seats still left over. They sat down.

As soon as Patrick sat down everyone froze. The two guys stopped excessively drinking. The girls stopped acting like teenagers. All eyes were on him. In complete silence.

One man broke that silence "Patrick! J'Man, what's happening? It's been like . . . ever!" You could tell the man had a little too much to drink. His green eyes were practically glazed over, light brown tresses a mess. He wore a football jersey and baggy jeans, Patrick hoped he remembered the belt this time.

"Forgive our friend Joey." the other man said, completely sober; to Patrick's co-workers "He has low alcohol tolerance. Patrick why don't you introduce us to your friends?"

"Melina Colt, Cobie Briggs, Jessica Lumbar, Kevin Stellar, and Joey White meet Teresa Lisbon, Grace Van Pelt, Wayne Rigby, and Kimball Cho." He pointed to everyone as he said their names. Kevin –the second man- had long blonde hair and green eyes much like Joey's. He wore a black polo shirt and dark wash jeans. Cobie had dark blue eyes and long black hair, showing tinges of bright blond from her roots and random places in her hair. It was obvious she dyed it. Her outfit consisted of an off the shoulder gold top with a short jean skirt and black pumps. Jessica on the other hand was a natural redhead, her hair cut to a chin length and eyes grey and sparkling. She had a green one shoulder top and jean shorts with white sandals.

Teresa suddenly felt self conscious. All these girls were luxurious and beautiful. With rings with HUGE stones on their fingers. All were married, all were gorgeous, and all knew Patrick. Now she knew how Grace felt like almost everyday. She didn't like it. Lisbon looked at her clothing, she was dressed for work. Not for fun.

"We work together." he added.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Cobie said with a southern accent. She playfully hit Patrick on the shoulder "And where have you been? After college you've been a stranger."

"College?" Jessica scoffed "I haven't seen him since high school! And back then it was hard to get a hold of him."

"You're from Jane's high school?" Wayne asked surprised. Sure they all went to school but the thought of arrogant Patrick Jane in high school was enough to make him almost choke on his drink. The Mentalist in high school, hard to imagine.

"Yup" Melina smiled "Some of us were lucky enough to go to college with him. The guy was so popular it's not even funny. I used to be his fan girl!" she said proudly.

"You had a fan club?" Grace asked. Over the time they've been working together she would admit that yes, he was attractive, but she saw him as an older brother. A role model. Someone to look to for advice. But the subject of a fan club? Nuh-uh, no way, stop the presses.

"Unfortunately." Joey said bitterly "He made it hard to get a girl. The rule was, if he's not Jane, he's not datable." He took a big gulp of his drink "I would have thought he was a bastard if we weren't friends."

Kevin pulled Joey's drink away from him "Dude, you're wasted, just stop. Besides, it didn't take long for the girls so calm down. During sophomore year, he was taken, permanently." He glanced at Patrick's wedding ring "Really. Permanent."

The girl's just noticed this "Wow, you owe me twenty bucks Colt." Cobie turned to Melina "I told you he'd marry her!" she held out her hand, Melina didn't move.

"You made that bet in high school." She pointed out digging in her purse for her wallet "How was I supposed to know you were right? Wait-" she cut off and turned to Patrick "-You did marry Lucille Jones right?" Cobie held her breath, really wanting her money. When he just nodded in response Cobie snatched the bill from her friend's hand and put it in her pocket.

"It's fun to be right. So where's Lulu?"

The agents held their breath. None of them dared to talk about his dead wife and daughter. Jane's family was strictly taboo.

"She's dead." he said ever so bluntly. They gasped.

"Not Lulu!" Jessica said in disbelief "She was the nicest girl in the world. Healthy too. You know she helped me learn Italian even when she was having trouble with Chemistry. What happened to her?"

"She and my daughter were killed."

Joey blinked "I'm sorry did you just say killed?" Patrick nodded "What kind of heartless bastard would do that? I mean . . . not even your fan girls hated her. And those girls were crazy man, crazy."

"She's just too nice." Kevin agreed with a depressed voice, he didn't want to talk about this anymore, the thought of innocent people getting killed made him want to run all the way back to Virginia and be with his family. If Lucille of all people could be killed, his wife would be in trouble. "That's why she was dating you." he said with a smile. Trying to cheer his old friend up.

Cobie smiled a blissful smile, she knew what Kevin was trying to do "Yeah," she said in a dreamlike state "You would carry her books, bring her flowers in class, make her laugh, make her lunch." Cobie sighed "I wish my husband was a gentleman like you Jane. But no the guy's idea of romantic is having a burping contest during halftime." she shrugged "But hey, you can't choose who you fall in love with."

"Wait" Cho said before the southerner could go on about her husband "Did you just say Jane was a gentleman? Arrogant, know-it-all, big mouth Jane?" he deadpanned.

"Well yeah," Cobie answered confused "He was the perfect gentleman. Isn't that right?"

"Definitely." Melina agreed "He held open doors, never cursed, always polite, and plus he put up with these boneheads for eight years." She tilted her head toward the guys at the table. "What's all this about being arrogant? I mean, yeah he always had a certain air of confidence but that was just another thing that made the girls fall for him."

"Jane tends to think he knows everything." Lisbon explains "He always thinks he's right about everyone. One time he accused an old man of sleeping with a fifteen year old girl. The guy punched him in the face."

"He was." Patrick defended.

"Hold up," Jessica said "That doesn't sound like Patrick at all."

"Yes it does." Joey retorted "You girls only saw one side of J'Man, we saw the other. Apparently he was only a gentleman to the ladies because with us he was an ass. No offence."

"None taken," Jane assured

"I mean, he would read us like books and call us idiots for not being man enough to ask some girls out. He cursed Howard out for having a one night stand with Carla one of the sweetest people you could find. And he hypnotized George and made him streak at homecoming. The man was, and I'm guessing still is, an evil genius."

"Then how come you were nice to us?" Jessica asked feeling betrayed "It was obvious that you weren't going to date us but still, I can't help but feel lied to."

"It's not that I lied Jess." He soothed "I was raised to treat women with the upmost respect. And any man who didn't know how to treat a woman was, and still is, my enemy. Do know what happened before I hypnotized George?" No one answered "He made a bet with Rodger to see who could get in Marcy's pants first. Rodger of course paid the price too but George deserved more humiliation. It wasn't the first time he made a stupid bet."

"See?" Cobie said to his co-workers "Gentlemen."

"Where do you guys work anyway?" Kevin asked suddenly.

"We work at the California Bureau of Investigation, the CBI." Grace answered glad she was finally able to talk "We solve murders within the California area."

"Patrick a field agent? With guns and fights?" Melina asked "Now that really doesn't sound like him."

"He's not an agent, he's a consultant." Teresa said her famous line "He doesn't handle guns or anything, he's The Mentalist, a different type interrogator."

"He doesn't even make it feel like he's interrogating you." Wayne added "He asks you a bunch of random questions. Involving relationships or business or his theory about people."

"He basically closes most of the cases." Cho finished

"Now that's Patrick." Melina nodded

"You do know I'm right here right?" Jane asked, he felt like we was back in high school. People gossiping about him right in front of his face. "So what are you guys doing here anyway?"

"Ah you know, trying to regain our youth by having Spring Break." Jessica said carelessly "You know, like in collage. Did you ever go on Spring Break?"

"Yes but I didn't drink, I just roamed around town and did . . . things. Nothing special really. Just walking aimlessly and watching people."

"That explains why we didn't see you." Joey said as if coming to some sort of realization "I mean, you were there, but you weren't there. For a second I wondered if you were even in our fraternity. You'd come to the meetings and parties but in spring break . . . nothing."

Patrick shrugged "Just not a fan of drinking excessively."

"Speaking of drinking excessively you should have been to Joey's wedding." Kevin smirked "By the time we had the toast they were off making out in a closet." he shook his head in shame "Didn't make it out of the ballroom."

"Good to know."

"Wait, where were you?" Joey asked Patrick "I mean, I know you were invited. You even left an RSVP. What happened?"

"My sister-in-law was in labor. My niece was born the next day." And that was his mistake. He knew it was going to slip but he didn't know how easily. His co-workers here shocked to say the least. Me and my big mouth, he thought bitterly to himself. Any other night and he would have been in the clear. Any other night and they wouldn't have known his secret. But tonight, they knew, and from that point on . . .

Patrick Jane's family was no longer a taboo subject.


So what do you think? I got the Spring Break idea from an episode of NCIS. Trust me it gets better. Does anyone know the name of Patrick's wife? I was just improvising. It would make me the happiest amateur writer in the world if you clicked that green button down there. Reviews make me happy and when I'm happy I write and when I write I update.

See ya later

~Blizzel