Six seconds. That is how long it took for me to lose everything. Anyone will tell you that these things happen for a reason. That's a crock of shit. Allow me to backtrack for a bit… Let's count to six.
One.
My mother and sister are sleeping peacefully, my dad is attentively watching the road driving us home and I am sitting diagonally from him looking out the window, submersing myself into the music resonating from my iPod. The gentle words of Saving Abel's lead singer clouding my thoughts. Despite my physical body not being too far, my mind is drifting away into the abyss.
Two.
I look over to my sleeping sibling who is in a peaceful slumber and I can't help but smile. The day had been spent doing vigorous activity. We had gone out to the local nature preserve, mostly to walk and enjoy each other's company. Walking and laughing, just living in the moment. She was tuckered out. Can't say I blame her since we walked a good 5 miles around the park. Taking trails to see the beauty that lies all around us.
Three.
I reach out to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, away from her adorable baby face. Seven years old and she still manages to be more beautiful than I can ever hope to be. Although I am not envious, she is the loveliest person on this earth and I could never wish for a better pest. Words cannot begin to describe how I feel for the little angel sitting next to me. She makes the dark days not seem so bad. I love her.
Four.
Dad is mouthing words to a song he has been singing all day. It's not in the least bit annoying but more so comforting. He always does this on trips for downtime. It keeps him busy, which is fine by me. I look into the rearview mirror and as if by some form of luck, so does he. He smiles, then mouths 'I Love You, Eli'. I smile back and mouth 'ditto' and even though I can't hear him, I can see him chuckle. His eyes return to the road in front of him.
Five.
I look down at my iPod and just realized that the song had changed. 100 Years by Five For Fighting, it's a nice song but for some odd reason I can't shake the ominous dread that is seeping into me. But by the time I realize what it could mean, it's already too late.
Six.
I look up for this split second and…
My entire world just stopped.
BOOM
CRASH
FLIP
SCREECH
Panic sets in as the car flips over. Mom and Brielle never woke during the collision. We tumbled for what seemed like hours but it was only mere seconds. My head hurt, my body felt as if someone lit me on fire. I couldn't see clearly, spots lined my vision as I lay dangling from the top of the car. The last thing I saw was the blood that had been scattered across the windshield. Then everything went dark.
~Time Goes On~
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
The unbearable beeping noise is exactly by my ear. I am fully aware that I'm awake but I can't bring myself to open my eyes. I lay there for a few minutes to take an assessment of my current physical state. Everything hurt, my head down to my toes and everything in-between. It was kind of hard to breathe. I felt like complete shit if I'm being honest. It was then I could hear the sound of footsteps and the chatter coming from people. Phones were ringing and I could hear the overhead intercom speaking or should I say paging a doctor.
Then it hit my like a ton of bricks; I'm in the hospital. With as much strength as I could muster I opened my eyes to only come face to face with that heinous bright light. I hissed at the sight and began to open and close my eyes hoping they would adjust. It took a minute but I was able to see somewhat clearly. My guess was absolutely correct. I was in a hospital. Which one? I have no clue but I'm going to find out.
Forcing myself to sit up in that horrid, uncomfortable bed I got myself propped up. Then I found the remote on the side of the bed and pressed the button meant to call the nurse to my room. After I laid there for what seemed like forever I was greeted by an older nurse, say mid to late 40's and a younger doctor who seemed to be at least 30. They smiled in my direction before going over my current medical state.
"Hello Ms. Grey, how are you feeling?"
"Truthfully? Not so good but I guess that's to be expected."
"Ok, we are going to go through some routine questions. What is your full name?"
"Elissa Eden Marcussen, but I prefer Eli"
"How old are you?"
"16, I'll be turning 17 in December"
"What do you remember about the accident?"
"I had looked up for a split second and I vaguely recall a car crashing into us and flipped the car over. And the last thing I saw…"
"What did you see?"
"Blood. I saw blood." My growing anxiety and panic came bubbling to the surface. "What happened to my family?"
The doctor's face became expressionless and I could tell that the inevitable had happened.
"They're gone aren't they?" I said, as the instantaneous chokehold of reality had its hold on me. I felt sick, angry but most of all I felt grief. Pure unadulterated grief. Everything slowed around me and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. It wouldn't be long until the dam broke and I would be reduced to nothing but an absolute wreck.
The doctor brought me back from my reverie, telling me what had all but been confirmed by his face. They were dead. Mom, Dad and Brielle.. They would never know the light of day again. I would wake up every day and I'd be the one thing I had always feared; I'd be alone. Brielle would never see another birthday, Mom wouldn't be there to hug me and Dad would never again talk with me. They're gone. And there is nothing that will change that.
He soon left, as did the nurse and I felt myself cry. In the little room I had let myself break and fall apart. My chest heaved, the sobs wracking through me and the noises of my pain echoing off the walls creating a symphony of sadness. And only one thought had crossed my mind; it should have been me.
