Summary: This is mostly just my attempt to stave off boredom. These are a collection of freak-pairings. Not odd pairings, freak-pairings, as in, you will be hard pressed to find anything like this ever again. Five drabbles a set, one pairing a chapter. Romantic, friendship or just general association.
Warnings: This is rated M for a reason people! Inuendo, swearing, slash, mentions of sexual relations, gore, etc. If you don't like, turn back out of this fic and move onto something else.
First round: Sarah/Ironhide. If you haven't high-tailed it out of here by now…. Good Luck.
Love, American Style:
The deep black Topkick had never liked being around so many beings once, least of all organics, but if it got Optimus off his back, he was willing to go through with it. The open field they all occupied was nice enough a distraction, fireworks, as the humans called them, lighting up the air and sky with the most colorful displays Ironhide had seen in a long time. True, the explosions of battle gave off the same effect, but something about the lighter pinks and blues made it different. In some way, it made the weapons expert happy to know none of these could even come close to hurting him.
"Pretty, aren't they?"
Looking from the sky and down next to his side, Ironhide was happy to see Sarah parking her lawn chair next to him with a pack of Zima dangling from her right hand. Her hair was done up in a braid and she was wearing a lovely jean shirt two sizes too big for her (obviously Will's) and a pair of faded grey army shorts. Quite the fetching little femme, and no Annabelle in sight. Maybe he'd get to enjoy her company for once.
Sea of Love- Cat Power:
Tiny little eyes stared up at Ironhide with absolutely no fear. The hulking giant had oftened wondered why, though Will had certainly found him threatening when they first met and Sarah had reacted by her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she collapsed backwards onto the ground, Annabelle seemed to think his as something about as harmful and scary as a butterfly.
Perhaps her genetics from her mother's side was the reason? The same day and hour when Sarah had spontaneously offlined (as 'Hide would later say), she had quickly accepted the Topkick into her and Will's home. Figuratively speaking, of course, but never the less, accepted him. That was the first thing that really surprised Ironhide about Earth. The femmes he and the other Autobots came into contact with weren't afraid of them, like, at all. Sarah, especially, even trusting him to take care of her offspring while she recharged for a while. Hence the little eyes staring up at him and making him way more uncomfortable than any Decepticon.
Cassie- Flyleaf:
"Stop that now, I can't hear myself think!"
Completely surprised by the voice that came out of nowhere from under him, Ironhide did a most humiliating little jig and fell back and onto his aft. The dust from the compact dirt flew up and landed all over the black Transformer, even clinging to his faceplates while he glared at the human who dared interrupt his target practice.
The human in question, stood unwavering before him in one of her day dresses and those weird yellow gloves the Topkick only saw on her when she handled those thick yet delicate if dropped disks. The look on her face could shut up any of the army boys Will brought home and worked adequately on Ironhide.
"What is your problem, woman?"
"Can't you do that shooting somewhere else? The entire point of Will taking Annabelle out was for me to get some work done and I can't do that when that cannon goes off every five seconds!"
"Every 4.2 seconds," Ironhide corrected, chassis puffing up like a prize rooster at a county fair, only managing to make the blond standing before him turn around, go behind the house, pull out the hose he hadn't seen since he'd threatened Will that trying to wash him would result in injury, and sprayed Ironhide right in the mouth/faceplates/optics/that place on every mech that's only meant to be treated nicely.
Keep Holding On- Avril:
One moment she was there, just waiting on the edge of the sidewalk eating that vanilla ice cream she adored from that nice Albanian vendor, and the next she was gone… Now, Ironhide wouldn't admit to caring about anyone, but this 'little lady', as Jazz referred to her, had gotten on friendly terms with the weapons expert. As a result, he tended to freak out a little when she went missing for more than an hour and didn't call him or Will or even Epps.
It freaked him out even more when he heard Optimus over the comm. link telling him that the Decepticon Barricade was in his area…
Tattoo?:
"Why Sarah Lennox… Is that what I think it is?"
Rounding one of the many halls in the Autobots' new Earth base, Ironhide had found himself staring at his female charge blushing as red as Sam on many occasions and trying to keep Maggie in front of her. The blond Aussie kept trying to lift the back of the older woman's shirt and look at skin that Ironhide himself had never seen.
"Maggie, stop! It's just a souvenir from college! Oh, Maggie really, stop, I'm ticklish there!"
"Oh you big fraidy-cat! Let me see it," Maggie begged, forgoing the urge to really dig her fingers into the other woman's ribs, "From what I already saw, it was really pretty. Please?"
The black Autobot leaned back into the hall from which he'd just come, head peeking out just enough to get a look as Maggie continued pestering the mother of Will's daughter. He'd never seen Sarah look so embarrassed before, even when he'd once seen her and Will in the middle of interfacing. What could possibly fluster her this much around a being of the same gender?
"Alright, alright! You can see it, just don't laugh," Sarah finally gave, lifting the shirt herself to just below her bra, revealing to Maggie and Ironhide what the Topkick recalled Will call a tattoo.
There on her hip was a totally white, Chinese style rabbit, head facing the right and its eye the collar of emeralds. Ironhide took a little mental picture and stored it in his hard-drive for another time. Maggie was right, it was very pretty, which meant it had most probably been painful to work into that tender flesh of hers. Tough lady, but then, 'Hide already knew that.
