(Authors Note: I don't own Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion, the Hobbit, or anything any of those stories contain. It all belongs to J. R. R. Tolkien and his family.)
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Dear Sauron,
Don't think I don't see what you're doing over there. Morgoth is gone. Numenor is gone. It's time to let go of such insane aspirations and simply live in peace. I truly believe we've all suffered enough.
So stop it.
Sincerely,
Galadriel, Lady of Lothlorien.
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Dear Galadriel,
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
No.
Also, congratulations on seeing something that should be blindingly obvious to every world leader by now. Truly, your powers of observation are beyond measure. It is little wonder they call you Wisest.
Sincerely,
Sauron, Lord of Mordor.
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Dear Sauron,
Why do you insist on being so terrible? There's more to life than simple conquest, you know.
Sincerely,
Galadriel, Lady of Lothlorien.
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Dear Galadriel,
You're right; there's also ruling what I've conquered with an iron fist. And honestly, you people need it. If I don't conquer you, you'll just destroy yourselves. So, really, it would just be easier for everyone involved if the lot of you just surrendered.
Sincerely,
Sauron, Lord of Mordor.
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Dear Sauron,
I'll admit that there has been...friction between the various free people lately. However, none of us will simply let you take what you please. We will reunite, we will fight you, and we will prevail, just as we always have.
It takes only one candle to ward off the darkness. You cannot defeat us.
Sincerely,
Galadriel, Lady of Lothlorien.
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Dear Galadriel,
I'm fully aware that you'll put aside your petty grievances to temporarily ally yourselves against me, and I'd like to thank you in advance for doing so. It makes things so much easier for me. Now all I need is three or four major battles, and all of you insects that refuse to kneel will be crushed.
All candles burn out eventually. You can only delay the inevitable.
Sincerely,
Sauron, Lord of Mordor.
