Title: Dancing Around the Issue
Chapter: Chad is Gay
Pairing: Gabriella/Troy & Troy/Ryan
Rating: PG-13 for language
Author's Notes: This is not what I thought I was writing. This story came out of me without much thought. I have tried and tried to rework this chapter, but I just can't waste anymore time on it – I want to get to the good stuff.
Enjoy
Cast parties at the Evans' were always a blast – pool, food, beer, minimal adult supervision. The twins had been planning it since the summer. Ryan had spoken with the DJ every month to update the play list according to Seacrest and the American Top 40. Sharpay had engrossed herself in party favors and decorations. Nothing tacky, mind you, but everything fit into her Bollywood theme. There was hookah and tapestries, the lounge furniture was reupholstered and adorned with accent pillows. Lanterns provided low light around the deck and pool area. As Sharpay sashayed around the yard looking pleased with herself, Ryan had to admit she looked stunning. His sister had wrapped herself in a beautifully hand-made purple and blue sari. Of course, her companion pup had a scarf to match. Ryan wore dark pants and an embroidered top. The outfit suited him but only barely met with Sharpay's standards of theme.
Ryan stood with the DJ, bouncing with nervous energy. After going over the play list a final time, the boy made his way through the sliding doors and into the house. The bright kitchen lights blinded him briefly. It was only then he realized how dark the night had become. Twisting around, he looked through the glass door. Those lights won't be enough. The floor above him moaned. Though Sharpay was within shouting distance, he felt quite alone. Everyday noises had him on edge. He jumped at the sound of a slamming door; he would have company shortly. Sharpay waltzed into the kitchen demanding Ryan turn the driveway lights on.
"Hello? Go!" Sharpay thrust her hands against Ryan's back, shoving him into the direction of their garages. She then busied herself removing drinks from the fridge.
It wouldn't take long to complete the simple task; however he would have to venture through the further part of the house unaccompanied. Ryan held his breath as he walked past window after dark window. The heavy garage door creaked loudly and made his heart race. This is a horror film. I am officially in a crappy slasher movie. Ryan flipped the switch as soon as his fingers found it and, slamming the door, raced to the dining room.
Sharpay gave the winded boy a confused look, but soon had another order to shout out. "Aren't you going to get the door?"
"For who?" Ryan panted, but he knew that if he didn't 'hop to it' in a timely fashion, he wouldn't hear the end of it. A glance at the door told him he had turned the wrong switch. It was pitch black through the foyer and onto the front patio. He crept toward the front door knowing his classmates would be arriving soon, but fearing a serial killer would be waiting outside instead. I am a nice, suburban boy with my whole life ahead of me. Please don't let me die. It was the first time Ryan had prayed in a long time.
Ryan turned the handle and the door swung open without a creak. Good sign. Empty porch. Weird. "Shar?" Ryan called over his shoulder, "You sure someone was at the door?"
Sharpay bullied herself past her twin and stepped into the night. Ryan kept inside, just in case.
"I saw a car pull up. I thought… someone's parents may have dropped them off." She shrugged and came inside.
Great, Ryan thought uneasily.
"Check the back," his sister closed the front door and stomped up the stairs in her too-high heels.
"Wh-what? Where are you off to?" Ryan watched Sharpay move further away with a helpless pout on his lips.
"People will be arriving any minute. I have to do my hair." Sharpay disappeared into the bathroom at the top landing.
Butterflies came in a rush, upsetting his stomach and making it hard to swallow. Ryan walked slowly toward the back of the house. Opening the sliding glass door, Ryan hesitated before stepping out. The DJ was set up by the pool, nodding his head to music heard only through his headphones. The night was still and quiet. Ryan could feel the presence of another person as he scanned the yard, but he saw no one. Feeling utterly terrified, Ryan ventured farther into the yard.
"Hey." Hearing a raspy voice grumble from the dark, Ryan stopped short. He could concentrate only on the rush of blood to his ears and the pounding of his heart. I am going to die tonight. Ryan found he couldn't move a limb. He listened intently for the voice again.
Then came a *sniff*.
Surely serial killers don't have allergies, Ryan rationalized.
The voice cleared its throat and tried again. "Here," it said louder than before.
Ryan guessed the sound was coming from the tree beside him and managed a step closer for a better look. Sneakers dangled from the tree. No, not just sneakers. Jeans, hands, and a body. "Troy?" Ryan asked unnecessarily.
Troy ignored the question, "You know, my dad built me a tree house in an oak just like this," Ryan couldn't see clearly in the dark, but he was pretty sure Troy was *petting* the branches. "It might take some time, but I could build you one." Troy's offer wasn't as cocky or arrogant as usual; that worried Ryan.
"What would I need a tree house for? What would I do in it?"
Troy was shocked. "What wouldn't you do in it?"
Ryan raised his eyebrows.
"No, man. I mean… you could escape," Troy's voice wandered off. "We all need an escape."
Ryan hoped their entire conversation would not carry on like this. His neck hurt and he couldn't see anything. "Is that what you're doing now? Escaping?"
Troy shrugged, but Ryan couldn't tell. "I told my dad about wanting to perform." Instead of continuing the painful thought, the boy grunted and coughed to stave off tears.
Ryan saw the need to climb. "What happened?" Not having climbed a tree in a few years, Ryan found trouble with footing and grip. But he managed.
Troy didn't answer until Ryan was sitting beside him on the branch. "Doesn't matter." Ryan felt him tremble. "It's ok, man. I took it back or whatever. U of A – all the way," he mock cheered.
"I'm sorry," he felt unsteady letting go of the tree, but Ryan rubbed Troy's back in an attempt to comfort his friend.
Troy leaned into the touch and rested his head on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan held him close with one arm, while his other hand clutched a nearby branch with white knuckles. Troy shook with the energy it took to hold back his tears. Ryan wished he were holding Troy under different circumstances. Continuing to rub his friends back, Ryan admitted, "I thought you were a serial killer."
Troy pulled away abruptly, "What?"
Ryan was amazed at the boy's balance, but said, "It's not worth explaining." Ryan cursed himself for saying something so stupid. But he didn't know then that his arms would feel so empty and cold without Troy in them. He wished he could just pull him back in. Get over it. "How are you feeling?"
Troy was still shocked and insulted, "Neither homicidal nor psychotic, thank you very much." But he was laughing, so Ryan smiled.
"Do you feel like climbing down?" Ryan hoped they would have a few more minutes of time together before the party began.
"Heh, sure." Troy expertly swung himself off the tree and planted himself on the soft grass.
Ryan looked around for foot holds, a ladder, anything to appear and assist his decent. His gaze fell on Troy standing below with his arms outstretched. Ryan's forehead tightened, "Yeah right."
Troy shrugged, "If you're man enough," with a smirk, "jump."
Ryan laughed heartily, "Oh, yes. I will leap into your arms. And we, in our delusional-fantasy world will consider it manly."
Troy dropped his arms and scratched his head. He could hear the DJ start playing and took that to mean that his cast mates had arrived. "Right… ok, then." Troy extended his hand to point out stable branches. "You could put your hand there."
"Where?" Ryan leaned forward too quickly and wobbled off balance.
"Careful!" Troy shouted with a mother's anger-fear-concern.
Ryan stood on the branch and wrapped his arms around the solid tree trunk. Steady again, Ryan shouted back, "Well I can't see what the heck you're pointing at!"
Watching Ryan hold on to the tree for his life, Troy relaxed. He found the situation amusing. Ryan had come up to help him and now the kid can't get down. "Will you jump then?" Troy asked with a smile.
"Catch me," Ryan demanded.
Troy nodded and began to laugh, "Very manly."
Ryan let go of the tree and closed his eyes. It wasn't a great fall, but Ryan's weight fell on Troy with force. Troy didn't move to stabilize Ryan immediately. His arms wrapped around Ryan's body and held him tightly. "Thank you." Troy whispered against his friend's bare neck.
Ryan shivered as Troy's lips grazed his skin. He reciprocated the hug, but said nothing. It was nice to be so close again.
Troy relaxed and prolonged the embrace. He took the time to breathe, inhaled Ryan's cologne and nuzzled closer instinctively. Troy found himself feeling more comfortable than he had been in a while. I could fall asleep just like this. Letting his guard down meant the wall holding back his tears fell as well. Though tears fell silently, Troy didn't mind. He realized Ryan could probably feel the wetness on his neck. But Ryan was pulling him closer, rubbing his back, and whispering that it was going to be ok.
Ryan eventually pulled away and looked into Troy's eyes. He reached up and wiped Troy's cheeks. The other boy laughed nervously at the gesture. It felt silly having someone else touch his face.
"Hoops!" Chad ran to the tree line. "Hey, what's going on?" A series of emotions rushed to settle in his chest – jealousy, confusion. Seeing the two of them together brought back his suspicions about his best friend. Throughout puberty Chad had been questioning Troy's preference. When Gabriella showed up, however, Chad pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. Now he walked closer, cautiously. He saw the tears on Troy's face and wet marks on his collar. The boy worried that maybe his friend was beginning to realize what Chad already suspected. "You alright?"
Troy smiled at Chad, "We're cool." He clapped his friend on the arm.
Chad wanted the whole story. He turned to Ryan for some sign. Chad caught his eye before Ryan could avert his gaze. There was nothing Ryan would say, however, without Troy's permission. He broke the look and peered past Chad to the pool area. "Wow. I didn't know so many people got here already!" Ryan excused himself and turned up his 'welcome committee' charm. Troy watched Ryan walk away, the way his slender hips bumped from side to side. This didn't slip past Chad.
Left alone with Troy, Chad forced himself to ask, "Bro, Troy man, are you gay?" He didn't think it was strange to ask after what he just saw.
Caught off-guard, Troy became immediately defensive. "You kidding me, dude?" He groaned and dragged his hands over his face. "What… I guess 'cause I'm crying for once in my life, I'm gay." Troy wiped at his eyes roughly.
"No!" Chad cursed himself. He reached out to hold his friend's attention. "That's not what I mean."
Troy pulled himself out of the grip and turned away.
"Troy, seriously, man…" Chad sighed audibly, "Well, then why were you talking to Ryan? And crying? Dude, you never cry." Chad's need for understanding suppressed his frustration.
Troy grumbled, "I had a rough day."
"Rough?" Chad hoped Troy would explain. You used to tell me everything.
Troy spun back around on his heel. Placing his hands on his hips, Troy proceeded to chew out his best friend. "You want to know what happened today?" Chad swallowed. "I told my dad that I would do another musical this year. I asked him if he thought maybe I could take a few theater courses in college."
Chad winced, he knew what was coming.
"Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to disappoint my dad by not being his golden boy."
"Troy." His friend was crying harder than Chad had seen before. He didn't know what to do.
Troy mimicked his father's voice and cadence, "'No son of mine is going to be some theater faggot.'" He scoffed. "'Well, tough shit', I said, 'Cause I'm the only son you have!'"
Chad watched Troy transition from sadness to rage.
"He threatened to hit my mom unless I told him it was a joke." Troy bit down, "Ha. Right."
Chad's eyes were full of concern, but Troy only saw red. "Did he hit your mom, Troy?"
Troy shoved him, "Are you even listening to me?"
Chad stepped back, stunned. "Did he hit you?"
"That's not the point!" Troy was shouting in Chad's face. All Chad could do was hope that the music was loud enough to mask it. "Well, you should be happy. I won't be wasting our time with drama club and you don't have to worry about your spot on the Red Hawks. We'll be going to U of A next year. You and me, as planned. Exciting, right?"
"Fuck you, Troy." Chad said it calmly and slowly.
His friend was breathing hard and erratically. "What did you say?"
Chad refused to repeat it. "It doesn't make me happy to see you like this!" He jabbed his finger into his chest, "I have my scholarship, asshole. I don't need you at U of A. I'll do just fine doing what I love, playing ball." Chad took a deep breath and let it out. "So, what now? You want to yell at me because I care about you, your mom, all that? That's not fair." Chad was disgusted by his friend's behavior.
"Fair?!" Troy had so much pent up anger he didn't know what to do with. "Being called gay the first time you cry with a friend – now, that's not fair. Being threatened for merely suggesting I study what I enjoy – that's not fair."
"Ok, Troy. You win." Chad found himself becoming increasingly angry and searched for an escape before he said something he really didn't mean.
"No, I'm not done." Troy held Chad in place with a hand. "Ryan being laughed at in school, when he is the nicest kid I know, that's not fair. That's bullshit."
Chad watched as Troy brought up a host of arguments that he had been suppressing, no doubt, for years.
"And seriously, Chad, seriously, I do not need this gay garbage being in your head. Ryan is my friend and he was here for me. He didn't assume anything. He let me cry in front of him and he comforted me." Troy let out an exasperated, "God!" Then, calmer, "I don't want to worry that every time I talk to him you are going to think there's something wrong with me."
Chad took the opportunity to speak, "Troy, I-I'm sorry." He held up a hand, "Let me finish. I didn't mean to upset you. I can see you've been through a lot. But I only asked because I was concerned. I've never seen you worked up like this. I didn't realize what's been going on. And I don't think there is anything wrong with you."
Troy seemed to relax. He shook his head and dried his face on his sleeve. "It's whatever, man."
"We good then?" Chad asked, not quite convinced.
"Yeah, sure. I mean, of course, dude. You're family." Troy stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans.
So close. It took all of Chad's strength not to ask Troy one more time about his sexuality. He couldn't believe he got so close to an answer only to be pushed away. Damn. In the midst of biting his lip, clenching his fists, and shuffling his feet, Chad heard Troy sigh.
"What's up?" Troy asked.
Chad shook his head side-to-side, but wouldn't part his lips.
"Dude, what?" Troy crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
"Gay." Chad couldn't stop himself. He immediately clamped his hands over his mouth.
"Come again?" Troy glared at his friend, daring him to say it again.
"The gay thing. I was wondering because I… nevermind." Feeling defeated and lost, Chad stared at his shoe laces.
Troy was silent for a moment, thinking. "You're gay?" he asked in disbelief.
"Umm…" Chad swallowed as blood rushed to his face. I'm so sorry, Troy. "Yeah," he breathed. Liar! Chad's conscience screamed. But he didn't know what else to say. He knew saying what he meant would lose Troy as a friend maybe for good. Besides, maybe it would be easier for Troy to come out if he thought I was gay.
"Wow. Uh, thanks for telling me?" Troy dropped his defensive stance. "Should we, like, hug?" He held out his arms expectantly.
Chad grimaced, "I don't know. This is all new to me."
Troy awkwardly pulled his friend into a stiff embrace, "I'm sorry I flipped out, man. I didn't realize. I was so caught up in my own shit."
"No, dude. It's ok." Chad wrestled his way out of the hug. "I just, you know, wanted you to know." A sick taste came up from Chad's stomach and remained on his tongue. He didn't want to play into the lie, but he continued to do so. "I'm not into you or anything. Like, don't take it the wrong way. I'm just… into… black dudes." He knew that sounded wrong. Niiice, Chad.
"That's cool." Troy shrugged. "So, like, Zeke?" Troy was impressed by Chad's honesty. Happy to be trusted, he smiled at his friend.
"Yeah he's hot." Fuck. Chad couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.
Troy began nodding his head, "I can see that… so are you guys, like-"
"No, no, no. Dude, he has no idea. Can we just, keep this between us for now?" Chad's fingernails were digging painfully into his palms.
"No problem, man." Troy gave him a light punch in the arm. "You hungry?"
Chad allowed himself to be led toward the party. His mind was racing. I am such a douche! How did I fall into this? Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut?
As they made their way to the cooler, Troy felt closer to Chad than he had in years. Chad, however, knew this would end badly.
"It must be hard in the locker room, huh?" Troy asked innocently, shoving his hand into the ice and pulled out a beer for each of them.
"What?" Chad choked as he chugged the alcohol as fast as he could.
"You know, showers and stuff." Troy cracked his can and sipped.
"Not really," Chad admitted, grabbed for another drink.
Chad watched Troy eyeball Gabriella and Ryan who were chatting near the hookah set up.
"You can go if you want," Chad replied hoping to have some time away from Troy's questions.
"Nah." Troy winked, "I'll stay with you."
Oh, god, he's winking. "Gabriella! Ryan!" Chad shouted over the music. He turned to Troy, "I'm fine. Have fun. Hang out." Chad waved over their friends.
Troy was full of energy the entire night. Even as the party died down and his friends went home, he bounced from one end of the yard to the other. He was the only one left when he offered to stay late and help clean up. Though the Evans's usually would have left the mess for the grounds keeper and maids, Ryan accepted graciously.
"I'm never coming to another one of your parties." Troy laughed as he helped bring the food inside.
"And why is that?" Ryan doubted the boy was serious.
"I can never get you alone with all those other people around." He nudged his friend with an elbow.
"It looked like you were having fun with Gabriella and 'all those other people'." Ryan popped a slice of cucumber past his lips.
Troy placed the trays haphazardly on the kitchen counter. "Well, I would have gotten you a drink or something, if you hadn't disappeared on me."
Ryan laughed, "It's my house. I know where everything is."
"Then I guess I take my offer back," Troy teased and made his way to the yard.
They collected cigarette butts and plastic cups for nearly a half hour.
"So what were you and Gabriella talking about?" Ryan attempted light conversation.
Troy shook his head, "Family stuff? I don't know what she complains about. It's always something."
"So things are ok with her?" Ryan wondered aloud.
"Yeah." Troy smiled. "Sure."
"And Chad?" Ryan dumped the left over beer into the grass.
Troy smiles secretively. "Yup, things with Chad are fine," he bounced like a giddy child.
Ryan gave in, "Why do I feel like you're hiding something from me?"
Troy walked closer and lead Ryan back toward the house. "It's Chad."
"Chad?"
"You should sit down." Excitement filled his voice. Troy grabbed his hand and walked Ryan to the pool. Troy smiled as he placed himself at the edge of the pool and took of his shoes. Rolling up his pant legs, Troy looked up at Ryan. "Seriously, sit." A huge smile spread across his face. Ryan complied.
As Troy tried to find the right words, he swayed into and away from Ryan. Dipping their feet in the water felt great and all, but Ryan was anxious to find out the news.
"So?"
Troy stopped moving and looked up at Ryan. "Ok so I was talking to Chad, right. And he told me that… well, he's gay." Troy reported.
Ryan's face contorted in shock and skepticism. "What?" He remembered back to the party, Chad had been sneaking around with his girlfriend. They were kissing behind bushes and dancing seductively to the music.
"Gay!" Troy blurted out. "Chad's gay." Troy's face fell a bit. "But he's into black guys, sorry Ryan."
"Whoa! Hold on," Ryan needed to catch his breath. "Where did you come up with this?"
Troy was lost in his own world. "He told me earlier tonight. I don't know why I didn't see it before. But I guess it makes sense. I think he's been trying to tell me for years. He's dragged me to GSA meetings and… oh man, he used to make me watch movies about 'coming out' with him and I never understood it. I feel bad that I never asked him before."
"I don't-" Ryan frowned. "I really don't think Chad's gay." Ryan looked over at Troy who was acting like he'd never been happier. "Why do you think he told you tonight?"
"Not sure," Troy shrugged, still smiling. "But today's as good a day as any, I guess." Troy nudged Ryan playfully under the water. Ryan played back subconsciously.
"He just… told you? Flat out?" Ryan couldn't wait to get to the bottom of this.
"Sure." Troy ticked the arch of Ryan's foot with his toes.
"Troy." Ryan said authoritatively.
The boy stopped fidgeting and looked up. Troy looked adorable with his bright smile and innocently clear, blue eyes. Ryan placed a hand on his, "How do you feel about him being gay?"
"Ok, I guess. It doesn't change anything," Troy held onto Ryan's hand and smiled to himself.
Ryan allowed the clueless jock to weave their fingers together. "What did you say to him?"
"When he told me? I don't remember. We hugged." He was focused on the way their hands fit together. The smooth texture of Ryan's palm. His skin, milky white in the dimly lit yard.
Ryan's heart thudded loudly against his ribcage and made it hard to breathe. Every cell in his body was aching to kiss the boy. Instead, "Wait." He snapped himself back to the conversation. "How did he bring this up?"
Troy shrugged, "We had a fight. I thought he was calling me gay because I was crying." Troy yawned. "But I guess he was just trying to come out to me."
"So what did you tell him?" Ryan quickly scanned the yard. Dirty, but empty. Sharpay must be in bed already.
"When?"
Is he even paying attention? "When Chad asked if you were gay."
"I yelled at him," Troy's face portrayed guilt and shame.
Ryan's face fell and he took back his hand. "Oh."
"Crying doesn't make me any less of a man." Troy defended.
Ryan's heart dropped. "Being gay doesn't make someone less of a man."
"I know!" Troy emphasized. "I truly believe that."
"So," Ryan hinted, "Did you tell Chad anything?"
"No way. It was his moment. I have to be here for him."
Ryan nodded, "So there was no 'I'm gay too!' moment?" He was hopeful.
Troy laughed, "Of course not." He playfully bumped into Ryan.
Right. Ryan remained silent as he analyzed the interactions he and Troy shared. Troy reached out and held Ryan's hand again. "Troy?" He held their entwined fingers up to eye line.
"Oh, sorry. Haha. I guess I'm so used to sitting with Gabriella, I forget that I can't hold hands with everyone." But he keeps his hand over Ryan's.
"Troy," Ryan pulls away and stands.
Troy stands with him and reaches to brush hair from Ryan's eyes.
He couldn't take it anymore, "Are you flirting with me?"
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Troy apologized, "Sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?"
Ryan stammered, "No, well, yes. Kind of."
"Sorry."
"And you're still with Gabriella?"
Troy stepped back, "Of course!"
Ryan took a few deep breaths and grumbled, "You know, we can leave the rest of this for. It's really not an issue." I wouldn't have done half of this if you hadn't stayed.
"It's ok." Troy squinted as he pat Ryan's shoulder, "I like being out here with you."
Ryan could see by Troy's watch that it was past one. "How are you getting home?"
"I was supposed to get a ride with Gabriella." Troy bit his lip, nervously. "I could always call Chad or something."
"Want me to drive you?" Ryan took back his hand, it was beginning to tickle.
Troy shrugged, looking into the water.
Ryan wanted to ask, Do you want to stay over? But his mind told him Troy was unavailable and confused. "Get your stuff. I'll take you now."
After gathering his sneakers and socks, Troy sulked to the pink convertible.
