A Moment Before the Sun Can Rise
by Taygeta
Author's Note: My random finals break take on what happened between Ziva and Adam Eshel. As prompted by a tumblr post from very-special-probie on whether Adam learned about the "many great things about Tony" before or after. This scene takes place Post-Shiva and Pre-Berlin.
"So nice to finally meet you Tony; Ziva's told me many great things." -Adam Eshel, "Berlin"
Ziva looked carefully at the man sleeping beside her in the bed. They had known each other for years and she had always thought him very handsome. She couldn't say that it had never crossed her mind, that maybe they would end up like this - entangled and caught up in the heat...
But she had never imagined it like this.
If anyone had told her she would find herself suddenly in bed with someone a few weeks or months earlier, this wouldn't have been the man she would have guessed first. That is, if she would have let herself guess at all.
She slipped quietly out of bed, emerging in the living area of her hotel suite with a hotel robe around her. She was glad that she received a suite with a balcony view, as she saw sunlight beginning to emerge in the sky. Ziva wondered for a moment if Schmiel had arranged for her to get this room, knowing that she might need to be reminded that days go on.
Ziva sat on a chair near the window and took a deep breath before letting her think about the night before.
She had met up with Adam Escel and a handful of other friends. They had eaten dinner at one of her favorite restaurants and talked of amusing stories of her father - he was a difficult and complicated man, but there were more than a few shining and funny moments remembered by everyone. It helped her to remember that her father wasn't all bad, that from the shadows there was a father and a friend, that maybe there might have been more good than bad in the end.
Eventually her friends had faded away with the night and it was only Adam that remained. They had come up to her hotel room.
"Why are you not at your father's place?" he had asked.
She had given him a terse smile, "Too many memories. Also, Mossad needs to make sure to - um - go through everything first."
He nodded knowingly.
They had shared a bottle of wine that Adam had brought her, remembering it to be one of her favorites. They had sat on the couch, drinking wine and remembering stories of moments when they had crossed paths. Though she appreciated the stories of her father and expected them, she realized how relieved she was to finally be in a conversation empty of her father, reminding her that it was okay to be Ziva for a moment.
They talked about NCIS and her team.
"You sound like you love it there," he said.
She nodded, "They are very special people to me."
He gave her a sly look, "This Tony sounds like he annoys you very much."
She laughed, "Oh, he - he can. You would not believe the stories I could tell you. I am pretty sure I do not have enough words in all the languages I know to fully describe it."
Adam took a sip of his wine and smiled, "You also like him very much." Seeing her scowl, he changed the subject. He reminded her of the time they were both in Russia at a seedy bar in Moscow.
As the conversation continued, she realized how close they were and how the conversation had let her forget the messiness of the days and weeks that had come before it. It was keeping at bay the messiness of the days and weeks that would inevitably be to come.
Suddenly, she realized what it meant to be Ziva in this moment. So far away from home, her real home at NCIS, the only family she had left. So far away from her homeland, the country she was actually now in, where no real family remained.
Sitting there, looking at Adam and feeling the haziness of wine, the loneliness of everything crept in under her skin - the feeling that she had tried to shake off for days had finally mastered her.
"Ziva, are you okay?" He asked, helping her put down her wine glass on the table. His eyes gazed over her in half concern and curiosity.
She knew he had never seen her weak before. And if she had a choice, he never would have - so she gave herself that choice.
She masked the moment of weakness in a lie.
She kissed him. And together, Ziva had no trouble forgetting everything.
But the night was gone now and the sun was rising.
She heard him from several feet behind her.
"You are up early," he said.
She turned around to look at him as he walked toward the table, sitting in the chair next to her.
"I could not sleep," she replied, glancing at him briefly before returning her gaze to the view. "I thought I should see the sunrise."
"I was hoping I would see you lying beautifully asleep when I woke up," he said. "I have either been watching too many movies or - perhaps - I have thought about what it might be like..."
Ziva sighed.
Thousands of miles away, after a one-night stand with another man, and somehow she was reminded of Tony Dinozzo. She pushed the thought of Tony away, wanting to let the world back in slowly, hoping that Adam wouldn't be a complication to add to everything else.
Before Ziva could even think of what to say, he reached out to touch her hand resting on the table. Something about the gesture meant more than the night before, brought her back to a better place in the new morning. Adam continued, "You are a beautiful and strong woman, Ziva David."
She met his eyes and realized that he was telling her there were no words that she needed to say. He was well aware of his role as a desirable distraction, but he didn't need to hear it. She was also well aware of who Adam Eshel was, more ghost than man, more long-time friend as an informant than her closer friends, the ones of the Chinese take-out and long night stakeout variety.
She patted his hand with her other hand, finding herself saying, "Thank you."
They sat quietly, watching the sunrise.
Adam would break the silence in the most inappropriate way after a one-night stand, "So Tony likes movies, huh?"
Ziva turned her head slowly and wrinkled her forehead, "What?"
"Well now I definitely know he does," said Adam. At her continued expression he clarified, "When I mentioned movies earlier, your eyes flickered."
She sighed, "You realize how awkward that question is, right?"
"Yes," he said. "You realize this whole situation could be more awkward, right?"
Reluctantly she admitted, "Yes."
They both started laughing at the same time and Ziva found it so good to just laugh. She was suddenly reminded of meet-ups in seedy bars in Moscow...but better. She was glad to see that, though the sun had risen, somehow the dark was being kept, for now, mostly at bay.
And in this happier place, Ziva found it really easy to talk about Tony, to talk about a moment that lingered in one of the happiest places in her recent memory.
"You know, he came to say good-bye to me, before I left to Israel," she said.
"Tony?"
She nodded, "And I do not know where he learned this, but he told me, 'At lo levad.'" Ziva saw Adam's eyebrows raise.
"An All-American Boy learning Hebrew," he observed. "He must really like you."
"I am sure he was just being kind," she replied, unconvincingly.
"And I am sure that was - part - of it," he replied. "So when do you leave, Ziva?"
"A couple of more days. I thought I'd go out to the olive trees and remember my father in a quieter space."
"That might be good,"
"You?"
"I am traveling tomorrow," he said. "I have some work I need to get done. So who knows when our paths may cross again."
Ziva smiled, "Who knows, indeed."
End. Feedback appreciated.
