A/N: this must be really confusing, but the first time, I put in the wrong chapter and the second time there were so many mistakes I couldn't bring myself to leave it, but please enjoy it. The characters aren't mine.
Chapter 1
"Jesse!" I yelled, running up to him. We were at the airport and he was coming back from Latvia. Or Lithuania. He'd been traveling through Europe and I hadn't seen him for months. When he'd been brought back to life, we were together for a while, but we broke up. We were both at different stages in life and wanted different things. He wanted marriage and children, I just wanted to go to college without my virginity. Neither of us got what we wanted. Instead he decided to go on a trip with the money he'd saved from his job.
He was supposed to be gone for a year, but I begged him to come back because I needed him. I'd missed him so much and whilst he was away...things had happened.
Jesse stopped walking and looked around. Then he spotted me. He smiled and came running towards me, bags and all. Then he did that classic movie star thing of dropping his bags and enveloped me in a hug. Jesse had missed me too. Paul stepped out from behind me smiling. He and Jesse did that man-hug thing. None of us had really said a word to each other, but we walked off together anyway.
"So what was so important that I had to cut short my trip?" Jesse asked. We were back at the coffee clutch. Paul would've been here but he felt we needed the privacy. Though he didn't say as much, I knew. I looked into Jesse's dark eyes. He looked into mine. This was the conversation I'd put off for months now. When I realized I had to tell him, I has glad he'd gone back to Europe. Paul was the one who eventually persuaded me to call him. "I'm pregnant." There was no easy way to tell your ex that and sugar-coating it would've made things more awkward. Jesse was shocked. That's an understatement. He actually choked on his hot chocolate (Jesse doesn't drink coffee) until his eyes watered. "Really?" He asked, about an octave higher than usual.
"Yeah."
"Does everyone know? How far along are you? Whose baby is it? Does the father know? Would you like me to stay? Wh-"
"Jesse!" I said before he could ask another question.
"Sorry. One at a time. How many months?"
"3 and a half." That was a lie. It had been 4.
"Does everyone know?"
"If by everyone you mean Mom, Andy, my step-brothers and my friends, then yes."
"Does the father know?"
"Yes. I told him quite recently." Recently being 2 minutes ago.
"Who is the father?"
"He's a friend of mine, who I had a relationship with." It's true, just vague.
"You met him in college?"
"...Yes." a more direct lie made me a little uncomfortable with Jesse. In case you didn't already guess, Jesse is the father. I just didn't want him to know so he didn't feel tied-down by me.
"Does Paul know him?"
"Yes, they're friends now."
"That's good. A more important question though: is the father going to help you raise the child?"
"I haven't asked him to. It's up to him. To be honest, I want him to carry on with his life."
"And he's going to do that?"
"I hope so." I smiled weakly. This feels wrong. Everyone knows Jesse is the father. Except Jesse. I knew that if he know the truth, he would never live his life normally.
"Would you like me to stay and help?"
"No. I want you to go back to Latvia-"
"Lithuania."
"Whatever- and continue as if I hadn't told you."
"But you called me back, Susannah. You needed me so desperately that you asked me to return to you. I think I need to stay." Great. The opposite of what I wanted and he doesn't even know the kid's his.
"I desperately needed to tell you. I wanted to do it face-to-face because it's you. You mean so much to me and I don't want to ruin your life."
"You could never ruin my life."
I sighed.
"Now tell me who the father is so I can beat him up."
I laughed at this. Jesse didn't see what was so funny, obviously. It was the irony. Jesse could hardly beat himself up.
"It's okay, Paul already offered."
"Oh has he?"
"Yes. I turned him down, though. That's the last thing I need." "Did he offer to help you too?" I couldn't look him in the eye for some reason when I answered. "Yes."
"Did you turn that down as well?" I started fidgeting, still unable to look at him.
"No."
"So you're letting Paul help, but not me?"
"...Yes." Jesse just looked at me as if to ask the obvious.
"It was a time when the father wasn't around. I was feeling sad and vulnerable..."
"Tell me he didn't take advantage of you!"
"No! He just offered to play daddy."
"Play daddy?"
"Be a surrogate father."
"And you said yes?!"
"...Yes. It was the time and the emotion..."
"Susannah, I should be your surrogate father!" The irony on that one. He was the real father for crying out loud!
"Jesse."
"I'm hurt that you would pick him over me to be the father of your child!"
"Well I didn't exactly do that, did I?!" I yelled. I immediately regretted it, as I had almost told him the truth.
"What do you mean?" I knew that no matter how I answered the question, there would be problems. This would be where I should tell him that it's his child. Instead, I said, "You weren't there and he was. If I'd had a choice, I would've run to you."
"you are running to me."
"No, I'm just telling you so that you won't be surprised when you come back."
"So are you saying I should've been there?"
"I wouldn't be pregnant had you been there." Kinda true. The series of events that occurred, causing my pregnancy, technically would never have happened if he had never left. Jesse didn't reply. He looked at his hands as they fidgeted. He fiddled with the callous on the palm of his left hand.
"I'm sorry, Jesse. I don't blame you for what happened."
"Which part? Me leaving, us braking up or you getting pregnant?"
"Look, the pregnancy was my thing," actually it was his, but now isn't the time for that, "you leaving wasn't a bad thing. It was what you wanted and we both needed the space. Us braking up was both of us. We were just too unwilling to compromise."
"You were always so stubborn."
"So were you." we both laughed.
"Now I'm going to be stubborn. You should go back to Europe and carry on enjoying life. Paul bought you a ticket for a flight tomorrow evening."
"I'm going to be stubborn too. I want to stay. At least a week or two to make sure you definitely don't need me."
I sighed. We got up from the table, threw out our empty coffee cups and started walking to Mom and Andy's place.
"Jesse."
He stopped walking and stood opposite me. His new, shorter hair cut made his hair look slightly red as the afternoon sun reflected off of it. Thinking about it, Jesse might have dyed his hair.
"Querida," a name he hadn't called me since the day we broke up. The memory of the huge argument and the dramatic storm out almost made me want to cry. "Just tell me that you want me to go, leave you alone with the baby and I will catch that flight tomorrow." He held my hands and looked deep into my eyes. I let go of his hands and put my hands on his broad shoulders, maintaining eye-contact, I said, "Jesse, I want you to go back to Latvia." Jesse looked disappointed for a moment, but it was quickly replaced by a stoic mask. "Lithuania. Besides, you don't mean that. I'll stay anyway." There was a glint of humour there, but I knew he meant it. I sighed, exasperated. I knew he was never going to leave once he knew.
A/N: Who should she end up with? Jesse or Paul. Review and let me know. I've got to tip the chapters in his favour. You don't have long because most is already written.
Love ya,
Iheartbooks
