A/N – I realise that it's really stupid to start a new story when I still haven't updated my other stories so please forgive me. I should probably mention that this is set after Karen met Jimmy but before she left Bombshell and she and Derek have started dating but very few people know about it.

Warning: Rated M because of rape and assault mentions

Disclosure: I don't own Smash if I did it wouldn't have been cancelled

She sat on the cold, hard concrete in the middle of the alleyway behind Table 46. Her mascara-stained face rested in the palms of her pale hands, her hair was a matted mess of dirt and leaves, her new Jimmy Choos were wrecked from running through the dark, damp streets of New York, her top was ripped to shreds and her trousers torn to a point where they barely existed. She heard someone, a certain blonde actress, day her name but she didn't – couldn't – force herself to look up. There was no point, Ivy would insist upon taking her to the hospital and then she'd have to tell the tale of what he had done to her and she really didn't want to relive that.

She was disgusted with herself – for trusting him, for backing down, for allowing herself to become the kind of person to be pitied – she hurt all over – even standing up and moving herself to this very spot had hurt more than any normal person can comprehend – she was sad, so unbelievably upset that she couldn't cry and she couldn't cry because she was so sad not wanting to be this nervous wreck. Most of all, she was angry, angry at herself, angry at him but also angry at the people – and she knew there were people because she'd seen them – who stood by and listened to her screams as he forced his way inside her.

She heard the hurried clip-clop of high heels and immediately recognised that Ivy must have gone back inside the tiny, little bar to get help but she was beyond help at this point, so far beyond help. She eventually looked up to see an empty alleyway and rested her head back in the palms of her hands.

She heard her name being said, repeatedly, by him and she couldn't help but scream "Karen? What the hell? It's me, Jimmy!" he exclaimed and she screamed again, the very sound of his voice scared the living daylights out of her.

Somebody had heard her scream and rushed out of the bar she'd frequented for weeks; she recognised the shoes and peeked through her fingers to see what she recognized as the bottom of the coat that Derek Wills had worn from the day they had started working together. "What's going on here?" was his immediate question and she looked up, all of the sorrow, pain, disgust and anger in her eyes – as much as she had wanted to hide it from everyone – and the very instant he saw it, he was at her side, he'd wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug and she rested her head on his shoulder, finally able to cry because somehow being in such close proximity to Derek made her less sad and she was able to cry for the first time since it had happened. "Whatever happened, whoever did this, I will be there for you," he whispered before turning to Ivy and telling her "Go get your handbag, a hairbrush and some tissues,"

"G-get him to leave," Karen whispered and Derek gave her an extremely confused look.

"Who?"

"J-jimmy," she said her voice almost inaudible.

Derek nodded before saying "Jimmy, go and grab Ana," knowing that Ana had gone back to the apartment she and Karen shared.

Now that everyone was gone, Karen felt slightly more comfortable explaining to Derek what had happened but she refused to divulge it fully "H-he wouldn't st-stop, I… I t-told him t-to st-stop b-but he w-wouldn't," she said quietly and she felt Derek hold her closer to him.

After a few moments, Derek started to pull out of the hug and he began to examine her injuries. He noticed the bruises starting to appear along her arms and the black eye that was beginning to show, the gash on her face had obviously stopped bleeding but it was still there and her bottom lip bled profusely "Oh love, who did this to you?" he said trying to stop himself from crying because he knew that he needed to be strong for his girlfriend.

"He said th-that if I… if I told anyone h-he'd d-do it a-again," she told him and Derek felt his heart break for her. She knew she was fast becoming a statistic, part of that one in three women who didn't report that they had been sexually assaulted but as much as she hated it, she couldn't, she could barely acknowledge that it had even happened.

She didn't remember how she'd gotten home, she didn't know whether the clothes she currently wore were her own or someone else's and she didn't know how she'd gotten off the ground of that alleyway but she had a feeling that Derek had something to do with each of it, he really was the best boyfriend possible and she now thought that she'd been soiled for him, she could never be the pure young woman he'd fallen in love with.

She did remember what he had done to her and that was why she'd woken up in the middle of the night, screaming out for him to stop, cold beads of sweat dripping down her face and neck "Karen, it's just a nightmare," a British accent told her and as she opened her eyes, she noted that Ana, Derek and Ivy were crowded round her bed, obviously none of them had gotten much sleep and she couldn't help but sob even though no tears were able to fall. She felt like she didn't deserve any of them, a part of her felt like she had cheated on Derek because of the fact that she had stopped fighting and just let it happen.

Derek had stayed on the seat which he'd placed by Karen's bed for the entirety of that night, knowing that he needed to be by Karen's side. He'd woken up the next morning with a slight ache in his back and a palm print on his face but he didn't care. He'd wanted to get Karen to a hospital but she had refused point blank so they'd taken her back to the apartment instead and performed some basic first aid, thankfully Derek knew enough to be able to stitch up the gash on Karen's face and he hoped that it wouldn't scar. He'd left the room when Ana and Ivy worked on the rape kit, finding it too hard to watch the woman he loved be examined by her two friends in case their suspicions were right.

Unfortunately, they were and between the three of them, he, Ana and Ivy had decided that at least one person would be by Karen's side at all times, in case of breakdowns or in case he showed up again. They had also enlisted Julia, Jessica and Sue in their mission, not properly explaining why they needed them or what had happened but the three women had been more than happy to help. After hearing Karen's screams in the night, they had figured out who he was and upon realising that they all knew him, they decided that they couldn't let him anywhere near Karen.

Derek had made the conscious decision to postpone rehearsals of Bombshell temporarily – much to Jerry ad Eileen's dismay – so that Karen could at least have a chance of properly recovering.

Karen came through to the living room at about 10am; she'd noticed that Derek wasn't by her bedside she thought that he had left so when she entered the living room and found him cooking breakfast for her, she was surprised to say the least. She'd thought he had realised what a bad person she had become – the kind who cheats on their boyfriend – and had left her but there he was making her breakfast and she felt guilty and then angry not at herself, not at Derek but at him because he had made her feel this way because of what he had done to her the night before.

When Derek told her that rehearsals had been postponed, she simply nodded and when asked what she wanted to do she just walked over to the DVD cabinet, picked out her copy of The Lion King, put it in the DVD Player and waited for it to start, refusing to utter even a single word. This, she decided, would be her life until she was forced to leave her apartment – movies, TV and Derek.