Greetings...I never thought I would, but I did. I wrote a Harry Potter story.
This is how I think the last book should end. You'll probably have a different idea, but oh well. Enjoy.
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Harry sprawled at the ground at Lord Voldemort's feet - who knew that the snakey dark lord had been taking lessons at a Muggle auctioneer's school? Harry had never heard "locomortis" spoken so fast!
"I HATE YOU!" bellowed Harry. "YOU KILLED MY PARENTS! WHERE IS SNAPE, I HATE HIM TOO!"
"Oh my dear Harry," hissed Moldy Voldy. "Snapey is well taken care of. After I discovered that he's really on your side, I gave him into the care of Ms. Bellatrix Lestrange."
"AND YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF SIRIUS BLACK!" screamed Harry from his prone position. "I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"
"I know," said Voldemort with a small smile. "You'll never get a chance. AVADA KEDAVRA!"
"AAAR-" said Harry, but never got to finish his sentence.
"Harry! Noooo!" cried Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Neville. But with a cry of "Avada Kedavra x4!", they shut up too.
"Yay!" said Voldymort. "Now I'm FREEEEE! I'd ask Wormtail to join me in my revels, but I killed him too. For fun. Now let's see...which Muggle town shall I destroy first?"
At that moment, the door burst open, and Professor McGonegall, Remus Lupin, Tonks, the Weasleys, and everyone else from the Order of the Phoenix leapt in. Before they could draw breath, they were all under the cruciatus curse.
"Best twelve sickles I ever spent," chuckled Voldemort as he watched them all in their death throes.
The door burst open again, and a confused-looking wizard walked in.
"Hey," said Voldemort. "I recognize you. Aren't you..."
"I don't quite remember my name right now," said the mysterious wizard apologetically. "My doctors did a lot of experimentation on me. The last thing they did was to replace the damaged parts of my mind with the mind of a Muggle."
"Really?" queried Voldemort. "I'm quite interested in brain damage...how did they do it?"
"I'm not sure...I seem to switch personalities...oh, here I go." The wizard seemed to stand a little straighter, and he folded his arms and narrowed his eyes threateningly.
"..." Voldy started to say, but was cut off by a roundhouse kick to the face. He seemed very surprised.
"Hey!" he protested, but another kick finished him off.
"Nobody screws with Chuck No..." the mysterious wizard started to say, but stopped halfway through and adopted his previous slouch. He looked about him confused for a minute, and addressed the crumpled body of the Dark Lord on the floor.
"Did you want my autograph, or something?" he asked. But receiving no answer, he wandered out of the building again, fingering his lobotomy scar.
THE END.
