There were times when Aang thought about his old friends. Those that he knew before the 100 Year War before he mastered the elements and before he became a hero. He remembered a time when he was just Aang, the simple monk. And he missed it.
He missed galavanting through fields with Kuzon, riding mail shoots with Bumi, baking pies with Gyatso, penguin sledding with his friends from the south and training with everyone from the southern air temple. He missed his people, his family, his life. And so, it was at times when he was missing his old friends the most that he would wander off by himself, away from Sokka's jokes and Katara's worried eyes, to practice. He practiced airbending, practiced meditation and practiced acceptance. When he was done, he would wander back to the group, whatever size it may be at the time, and joined in with the jokes and the banter.
After the war was over, missing became harder. Wherever he went, people knew him. Everyone wanted to have a moment to speak to the Great Avatar and thank him for ending the war or to spit at him in protest for taking down the Firelord, depending on where he was and who he was talking to. But this meant slipping away became harder. His friends would respect his wish for solitude - these people did not. It was no better when he visited Zuko's palace for a meeting or the Earth King in Ba Sing Se. Then, there weren't as many people stealing a moment of his time, but the guards wouldn't let him out of their sight. They claimed they had to protect him and the servants and various other nobles all wanted a word with him like everyone else. So when Aang started missing again, he didn't have anywhere to go. He had to grin and bear it, listening to old men drone on and on about peace and politics and the soup at dinner, while all Aang wanted to do was cry.
It was at one such evening banquet at the Fire Nation Palace that Aang lost it the first time. He was sitting at the head table farthest from the entrance on Zuko's right, Katara to his left. In front of them sat another table, long enough to stretch the length of the great hall. Seated at the end nearest to them, so close that they were practically touching, was an elderly man whose beard reached the floor. Aang knew he was of high political status, or else he wouldn't be sitting where he was, but he hardly cared. The man was getting on his last nerve.
"See my father was a quite delusional man," the idiot continued. "He refused to participate in the great Air Nomad Defeat, which was a great disgrace at the time." Aang stiffened and Katara's hand slowly found his. She squeezed it gently and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. The dumbo had been complaining about the insufficiency of his father for the better part of the meal but the air nomads, in particular, had yet to be brought up until now. Talk about daddy issues. "His father, my grandfather, had been a diplomat to their kind and my father claimed he was good friends with one of the boys." That sounded familiar to Aang. Gyatso and he would often travel around the world for diplomatic purposes, as well as others. "This made it impossible to participate, he argued, because he would be blinded by compassion for his friend and be unable to do any damage."
"Lord Takumi, if I may interject, perhaps we should abstain from mentioning our lost friends the Air Nomads out of respect for the Avatar who has graced us with his presence." Zuko's interjection as much appreciated, and Aang knew he shouldn't press the matter further, but he was curious now. He knew the chances were slim but that man was certainly old enough. So, he interjected.
"Actually, My Lord, I would love to hear more about Lord Takumi's father." Katara's thumb faltered on his hand. Both she and Zuko turned to look incredulously at Aang, who looked straight ahead, waiting for the Lord to continue. After an awkward moment of silence in which Aang began to question his decision, he did.
"Yes, of course, Avatar." The lord cleared his throat, glanced around one last time, and continued, "My father did not participate in the raid of the Air Nomads. Being a high ranking noble, he knew enough about what was going on politically at the time that the avoidance of the battle not only served to help him avoid running across his friend but also as to sneak his girlfriend, a water tribe girl, out. He knew they would likely go after the Water Nation next and as such took precautionary measures to help her escape.
"Afterwards, he joined the hunt for the Avatar with Firelord Sozin. I read in his diary it was his plan to help the Avatar escape if they ever found him, blatant treason but one not discovered until after his death. Of course, they never did find the Avatar because here you are now, but that is quite beside the point.
"When he returned home he married my mother and had me and my brother but we hardly ever saw him. He never attended any meetings and he certainly never assisted his country in any way. I only saw him a few times myself, despite the fact that I was his own firstborn son. He spoke a lot to my younger brother though, but I suspect that is what attributed to his traitorous ways. That is really all there is to say about my father. He was a traitorous pig who didn't know what to do with himself."
"What was his name?" Aang pressed. Katara's hand tightened around his and Zuko inhaled sharply next to him.
"His name was Kuzon, Avatar," Takumi responded, "although why it would matter I-" The lord stopped when Aang stood abruptly and stormed out of the room, walking the entire length along the table to get to the palace doors. The whole hall fell silent.
It didn't take Aang long to find an empty garden. It was green, with a large cherry tree across a pond and several covered passageways surrounding it. Gently, he wandered over to sit under the delicate pink blossoms and curled up, buried his face in his arms and cried. Sobs racked his body. He hardly noticed when Katara wrapped her arms gently around him and let him sob onto her chest.
After Aang had cried himself out, they sat there for a while longer until Katara gently spoke. "You knew him, didn't you?" Aang gently nodded and sniffed. "Do you want to talk about him?"
Aang's eyes widened slightly in surprise and he glanced up at her, then broke away and stared out at the lake. Katara watched him quietly.
"Ok." Aang took a shaky breath and began, "When I was about 5, Gyatso took me to the fire nation for the first time. I was surprised at how hot it was, and how humid. The people there amazed me. They looked different, spoke different and wore all sorts of different clothes. They ate meat too, something I had never seen done before and to be honest, I thought it was kind of disgusting.
"We were set to camp outside the Capital, but we spent more time in the city itself. I remember the first meeting we went to - it was so weird. Their house was huge - one of the biggest places I had ever been in. It was all so sleek and clean and red, nothing like the Southern Air Temple. I wanted to explore every inch of it, but Gyatso had made it very clear to me that I was to be respectful and I shouldn't wander off.
"We entered a room and there were people there sitting around a table: a man and a woman, another younger man and Kuzon, who must have been about nine at the time. He always made fun of me because he was older. Anyway, Gyatso bowed and we went to sit down. They poured tea and said hello and all those pleasantry things and Kuzon and I were excused to go play outside. He took me all around their house and the town. We would play all sorts of crazy games. This one time, the two of us snuck into the palace. Well, not really because his dad worked there and we knew some of the palace staff's children, but for us, it was sneaking in.
"They were having some sort of gathering in the main hall. I had yet to attend one because I was like seven at the time, but Kuzon had been to a few. We wound through the halls until we found a door we could take up to another level that opened out onto a walkway above the party. I had never seen people dance like that before. Of course, the air nomads danced sometimes, but it was nothing as passionate or exciting as what I was watching. All these reds swirling around and people laughing and having fun.
"Fire Lord Sozin was there too, although at the time that really didn't mean much to me. He was just some mildly terrifying old man. If only I had known. Anyway, Kuzon had wanted to show me what it was like. He had told me stories and I wanted desperately to go, so he took me. Of course, with Kuzon nothing was that simple. He had also brought along his baby dragon, Chuusei. I'm not sure why we thought that was a good idea, it obviously wasn't, but we had and at the end of some big dance after this very loud gong had been rung, it freaked out. Chuusei flew down into the mess of all the people. It shot off these tiny bursts of fire as it went. All the men were trying to be all brave and take it down and all the women were screaming and running towards the doors. I tried to get him to come back, but Kuzon pulled me out of the room and we ran off back towards his house. Gyatso and his parents were not happy about it when they found out. I've never seen his parents angrier or Gyatso more mildly amused." Aang chuckled softly to himself and wiped his eyes, then turned gently to look back at Katara. She was smiling softly, waiting for Aang to continue when he was ready if he wished. He took a deep breath.
"I guess I hadn't really thought a lot about what happened to my friends after I left. We found Gyatso in the Temple and I was just so angry and upset that I didn't really want to think about it a lot. And then we found out I had to take down Ozai and I just, I couldn't. And then Lord Takumi started talking about Kuzon and I was mad that he couldn't see how amazing his father was, but I was madder at myself for leaving and not even telling him why."
"Aang, there's nothing you could have done. It's not like you knew you were going to freeze in a ball of ice for a hundred years."
"I know it's just, I wish I could have told them goodbye."
"I get it." Aang glanced over to Katara. "When my mother was taken by the fire nation, I was really angry at them and missed and I hated that I didn't get a chance to tell her that I loved her one last time. But eventually, I realized that she knows. I know she knows. I'm sure Kuzon and everyone else knows how much you miss them."
"Do you really think that they know somehow?"
"Yeah, I do. Somehow." Katara leaned forward and placed her hand gently on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Katara."
