Disclaimer: I don't own it. All lawyers know not to sue me. Seriously all you'll get is some pocket lint.
This has been stuck in my head for a while. I just decided to get it out there. This is written in third person, but mostly form Faith's mind. Some of it is written in first person and I apologize if that bothers you. The next chapter will be Wesley's version of it. I would love some feedback. I live on reviews.
Faith looked over to the other side of the bed. She was still very surprised that Wesley had forgiven her, let alone would allow her to make love to him. That's what it was with Wesley, making love, not just sex. She had always loved him, in her own sick twisted way. She had never known affection. Closest she had to that was her mother beating her all the time. She had thought that the more violently you beat someone the more you loved them. That it was a show of affection. That's the real reason why she picked Wesley to torture. If she had just wanted some information she would have gotten the cheerleader and just beaten it out of her. That was why she had hurt him as she had. She had wanted him to know just how fond of him she was. Faith had been devastated when Angel told her just what shows of affection really were. Her friend had been shocked when she had explained that her mother had taught her that violence was a show of affection. Suddenly what she'd done to Wes had made sense, none of the wounds were fatal, and Faith had been trying to show that she loved him. She loved Wesley and didn't know how to show it.
"Faith." Wesley's voice startled her out of her train of thought. He reached for her and she rolled into his arms. He was still asleep and he seemed to be having an unpleasant dream. She softly kissed his forehead and whispered that she was there with him and that everything was all right. His face cleared as he held her tight. Faith loved him with all her heart. She lay there comfortably in his arms as she remembered when he first came to visit her in prison.
Actual Memory, in this work of fiction, anyway.
She had been told that she had a visitor and thought it was Angel, again. It turned out to be Wesley. Faith wanted to explain to him how she had thought violence a form of affection. She knew differently now about how to show affection.
"Faith, I do forgive you for your actions. You weren't taught any better. I was not a very good watcher at all. I failed you. I'm sorry." It felt strange to look at him through the glass and see how hard he was shaking. It cut her like a hot knife through butter.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for, at least not with me. You didn't fail me, Wesley. You tried to help me. It's not your fault that I was fucked up from the beginning. Neither is the fact, that I thought the harder you beat someone, the more you loved them. That's what my mom taught me." He looked up at her. Why did I say that? Why did I say that?
"Is that why you hurt me like that? You cared for me?" Faith couldn't speak; there was a lump in her throat. Why'd he have to be so smart anyway? He'd hit it right on the dot. She nodded; it was all she could do.
"I will most definitely need time to digest this information. Faith, I want you to know that I do care for you and that I hope you get better."
"Wesley, am I evil?"
"No, Faith, you're not evil. You're just sick, that's all. I'll come by with some books for you to read while you get better." He turned to get up. She hit the glass, causing spider web cracks to spread through. He sat back down to listen to her.
"Wes thanks for still caring. Please, come visit soon." The look in her eyes was begging him to come back to see her.
"I'll come visit. I promise." She was led away with a hopeful look on her face. For the first time, she thought she was worth something to someone. That made her happy.
He'd certainly made good on that promise. Wesley had come to see her weekly and he had given her books. He even gave her books about demons; the guards just thought they were horror books. She had read a lot. She learned all about different demons and she finished her G.E.D. Wesley told her everything that was going on during his visits. He even told her about the prophecy that ended up fake. It tore him apart when the Fang Gang alienated him. She had asked him if he wanted her to jump through the glass because he looked like he needed a hug. He had looked up at her surprised and he gave her a smile and said that wasn't necessary, she'd made him feel better. She was a terrific support system for him. The prison shrink had said Wesley was the reason why she was recovering her sanity so quickly. He was a very strong anchor. Every time he came to visit her and he looked sad, she wanted to jump through the glass and hold him. She wanted to make it all better. She didn't like Fred because Fred broke his heart. When Wes said he needed her help to fight Angelus, she jumped through the glass and fought for him. Which led her to where she was right now with Angel back safe and sound and another apocalypse thwarted. She was in Wesley's arms and she was going to enjoy it.
"Wesley! Willow's here, she says that she needs Faith's help with the First. Wesley, is Faith in your bed?" It was that bookworm that Wesley had liked, Winifred.
"Yes, now go away." Wes was cranky this morning and he held his Slayer ever closer. Faith stuck her tongue out at Fred and snuggled closer to Wesley. Fred left the room to go wander off to her demon hunter.
"We'll have to get up soon." My love speaks to me in a groan. I kiss him before I roll off the bed to land on my feet.
"The sooner we get this over with the sooner I'll be back in your arms. That just sounded so corny." Faith says this with a smile and a laugh. Wes sat up and turned so that his feet were on the ground as he reached for her waist. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her abdomen. Faith started rubbing his back and humming softly.
"I don't want you to go, Faith."
"I don't want to go either, but I can't just let the world end. Why are there so many damn apocalypses?"
"I don't know."
"But I thought you knew everything." He looked up at her and gave her a smile. She was trying to keep it light.
"No, I just know a lot. You were right, the sooner you go the sooner you can come back. So let's get dressed and go downstairs." With that said Wesley got up and started to pull his shirt on. Faith gave a chuckle and started to pull on her own clothes.
When they were ready to go downstairs Wesley held Faith in a powerful kiss.
Faith woke up.
"Damn it! That was a nice dream. I have to face reality now." The reality of the situation was that Wesley was still uncomfortable with her and he was still in love with Fred. Faith didn't stand a chance and she knew it. After she was finished with the First she was probably going to stay with the Sunny dale crowd. Every moment with Wes was breaking her heart. All because he was in love with that Texas girl, she didn't even love him that way. Maybe I'll die saving the world and he'll love me then. Aw, whom am I kidding? He'll probably never love me. Unrequited love hurt a lot. Maybe I'll get along with Spike, I hear he knows all about your love not being returned. Though it was true, Wesley had been a strong anchor for her, even if her love for him went unreturned.
Faith got up and got dressed. She started packing what little she had into a suitcase that Angel had given her. Faith gave the room a once over to see if she had left anything. She started carrying the suitcase over her shoulder nonchalantly while gliding down the steps. The Fang Gang was all there in the main room. They were talking and eating, generally just milling about. Faith walked in and set down her suitcase just as Willow walked through the door with Angel. The two were laughing about something.
"Are you ready to go already? I thought you might want some breakfast or something. Or do you just want to get on the road?" Willow was babbling just like she always did, strange how comforting that was.
"I'd like some breakfast first, then we can do the whole bondy thing on the ride there." Faith's Boston accent seemed to thicken like it often did when she felt like she was about to cry. (Yes, I made this up. Please don't whine.) Angel recognized it and directed her to his office. Once they were alone in his private office and the door was closed he started speaking.
"Faith, are you okay? I know the AI group aren't that fond of you."
"Angel, I'm fine. Really, I am. It's just being so close to Wesley hurts. Especially since I know he will probably never care for me the way I do for him." She started to cry, not really aware of it. It was the kind of tears you shed when you don't make any sounds or even realize it. Angel gave her a hug to comfort her.
"It'll be all right. Wes just needs time. Try not to die in this apocalypse, okay? I'd rather not lose my friends. They like to die in apocalypses." It was clear that Angel was remembering Doyle.
"It must be lonely being the only Irishman in the building, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is sometimes. So get through this and come give me a visit, will you?" She gave him a smile and wiped away her tears.
"I'll have to do that, won't I?" Angel opened the door for her. She walked back out of the office.
"So where's the breakfast food?" Wesley walked over to Faith and pointed into the kitchen, where there was donuts and coffee. She touched his arm briefly to gently move it out of her way.
"Thanks, Wes." Faith goes into the kitchen and gets a donut and comes back out. The Fang Gang was just wearing shocked looks on their faces. I guess they were just surprised that Faith would touch Wesley after what she did.
"Faith, good luck." Wesley said to her. His face almost looked like he was sad to see her go. It made her give him a small smile.
As Faith and Willow left the Hyperion Faith turned around and blew a kiss to Wesley when no one was looking. Then Willow grabbed Faith and pulled her into the car and they were on their way to Sunnydale.
