I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but decided to post it anyway to see how people respond. I know there isn't a lot of action in this part (and not a lot of Chuck either) but I just started writing something and this is what came out! I promise it'll get more exciting in the next chapter(s) and I might try to do something from Chucks point of view... Tell me what you think, response makes me more eager to write which means frequent updates ;) Enjoy
Erase/Rewind
Blair Waldorf was trying with all her might to stop thinking about him. She hadn't been too successful though… She stood in front of the mirror in her room, applying a coat of red lip gloss, her thoughts wondering to the other night. She still didn't get it. Why did she let Chuck Bass, of all people, do those things to her? She sighed, taking in her own reflection. She was about ready to go to school. She had been trying to convince herself all morning that she had nothing to be nervous about, but she couldn't help it. She desperately needed to talk to Serena, tell her everything that had been going on, but she couldn't.
She knew Serena would be even more disgusted than she was, and she couldn't really blame her! Seriously Blair! What the hell are you thinking? She sighed. He did something to her, she couldn't explain it, he somehow made her feel… alive, wasn't that what all the romantic short stories used to say. Alive. She considered it for a moment. It really was true; when she was with him, it seemed that all of her problems just magically disappeared. The problem was that when he wasn't there anymore they always returned, leaving her completely clueless as to why she had just been with him again, thus causing new problems to arise. Her head was spinning!
She gave her reflection a perky smile. She was not going to let him get to her! No matter how many comments or dirty looks he would send her way she wouldn't flinch! That was the pathetic excuse for a plan she had come up with; ignoring him! She wasn't really happy with it, it was too easy, to boring for her taste, but she had never really conspired against him. With him, now that was different.
They had always been partners in crime, coming up with one plan nastier than the other, and oh how she enjoyed their scheming. But after what they had done she couldn't let her guards down with him anymore, not that she ever let her guards down with anyone, really, but she just had no idea how to act around him. For Gods sake, she had slept with him! And in the back of a limo to! He had seen sides of her that even Nate didn't know existed. She shut her eyes close as tight as possible trying to make the memories disappear, but they wouldn't budge. She opened her eyes again feeling a headache starting to grow and thought about staying at home, but her stubbornness convinced her otherwise. He was not going to control her like this!
She trampled angrily out the door, not even pausing to say goodbye to Dorota.
She tried desperately to empty her head but even though the cool, crisp winter air did put a stop to her headache it didn't succeed on the other matter. She was almost looking forward to class, just to have something else to think of! "Blair… Blair! Wait up!" Serena came rushing up behind her, cheeks red, and her hair in a cute mess. "Jeez, where's your head at, I've been yelling and yelling" She laughed, trying to catch her breath. "Oh, I was just… thinking about the math test on Wednesday" She lied, smiling at her best friend. Serena narrowed her eyes, contemplating her friend's fake smile. "Really, I would have thought Nate would be on your mind… I mean it's only been a couple of days since your birthday party…" "It was for the best" was Blair's indifferent answer.
She honestly hadn't given it that much thought. Not because she wasn't sad about it, she was, obviously, but her mind had been occupied by other… well, things! Plus she was still too mad at Nate for blowing her of like that to even think about missing him. Serena decided to let it be. She desperately wanted to know what the hell was going on with her BFF.
She still couldn't get the image of Blair and Chuck kissing out of her head, and she was afraid that maybe Chuck had something to do with the breakup. Either way, she was going to murder that manipulating man-whore for laying his dirty hands on Blair, even if Blair hadn't exactly been protesting. But if Blair wasn't ready to talk about what happened at her birthday party, she wasn't going to pry. She knew how Blair had a tendency to burry anything unpleasant that might have happened to her under a thick layer of pretending that her life was just perfect. But Blair wasn't fooling her!
When both girls recognised two tall figures walking up the school steps, Serena felt Blair tensing up, and she just couldn't help herself. "B, if there's anything you want to talk about, you know I'm here, right?" "Sure" she responded, staring at the boys" But what would I want to talk about" she asked, with a sugary smile, forcing her eyes back to Serena. "I'm just saying that, you know, with Nate and everything…" I'm fine, S! I really am. It's not like it hasn't been building up to that, I mean, with everything that happened I doubt that anyone expected us to stay together."
Serena didn't really know how to respond to all of this. It didn't sound like Blair, being so casual about breaking up with her forever-boyfriend, and she highly doubted that anyone had expected them to break up! If anything Blair and Nate was probably going to be voted most likely to get married, have 2 kids and live happily ever after. But Serena knew better than to start an argument with Blair in the middle of school, Blair wasn't afraid to be a bitch, even to her best friend, and Serena didn't want to cause a scene. So she decided to wait till after school, where they could talk privately at home.
Blair kept her eyes locked on the front doors of the school building while she and Serena mounted the stairs, but she knew he was looking at her. She could feel his eyes on her back and she was desperate to turn around and look but she didn't. She was determined to carry her plan, however ridiculous, out. She noticed Serena glaring back at the boys staring at them angrily, and she couldn't help but feel warm inside, knowing that her best friend had her back, even if she didn't really know all the details.
Unfortunately for Blair her math class did nothing to take her mind of neither Nate nor Chuck. In fact the sleepy silence and the warm climate in the classroom made her head feel cloudy and her mind kept drifting back to that night in the limo… The night when she and Nate had broken up and she had gone to Victrola in search for something to make her feel better. And boy had she gotten what she came for! She never intended it of course, it hadn't even crossed her mind until they where sitting in the back of his limo, both tired, yet comfortable.
She hadn't thought about what she was doing, all she was thinking was how she always seemed to be more or less happy in his company, how easy it was to be with him, and the next thing she knew, she was leaning forward, she was leaning forward! She made the first move and that was actually what pissed her of the most. She couldn't even blame him!
She snapped back to reality when Mrs. Hauser asked her a question. "Huh?" She looked up, confused, realising that half the class was staring at her. "Ms. Waldorf, perhaps you should go to bed earlier, I do not appreciate my students wandering off to never-never land during class!" Blair felt her cheeks turn red and mumbled an excuse. She never dosed of during class. Never! She hated this so much!
She really needed to put an end to it somehow; she just had no idea what to do. Talk to him, perhaps, but what good could possibly come from that, other than her having to listen to his unquestionably dumb and insulting remarks and she couldn't really tell him to get lost from her thoughts now could she, however convenient that would have been. In fact, anything that involved her admitting that she actually thought about him would no doubt cause him to mock her for all eternity.
As the bell rang out, causing her to make a startled jump as she had already manage to drift off again, she settled on her previous plan of ignoring him. Maybe she should take Serena up on her offer; she really could need a second opinion on this mess.
Hallo fellow Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. It appears that our Queen B has left her king for good this time. And who can blame her? Left all alone on her very own b-day, that's not how you treat a lady, especially not when she's from the Upper East Side. But cheer up, B; there are plenty of fish left for you in the sea… who said anything about a bass! You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl
R&R, please...
