"So, uh, Doctor…where exactly do you want me to start?"
Here I am again, about to do something I had done to three other psychiatrists. It's to bad though. This one is kind of cute.
"Well why don't you start with your name and we'll go from there."
"Oh ok. My name is David Dove."
"Dove? Like the bird? That's an interesting name."
You're telling me. I think that's part of the reason he's kept me around so long. He finds what I do in relation to my last name hilarious.
"Yeah I know. Everyone calls me Ace though."
"Alright then…Ace. When you called me you said you knew something about the Joker. You told me you knew his name. You have to understand that I will be taking everything you say to me with a certain degree of skepticism. No one has ever come forward with any information about Joker."
"I know Doctor Quinzel. I have to say I was a little skeptical myself when I saw Jack on the news. But there's no mistaking that laugh of his."
A little chuckle here, a shake of the head there. Keep it up Ace and pretty soon you'll have her eating out of your hand. You already peaked her interest by dropping his first name.
"Jack you said? Did you know the Joker before his…well before whatever mental illness he has set in?"
Just like all the other shrinks. Nobody knows what's wrong with him. Shit I've been with him for ten years now and I don't know what in the name of God is wrong with Jack.
"Uh, yeah. Jack Napier."
Go on Doctor Quinzel, scribble down all those notes, like the tape recorder isn't enough. None of that will matter by the end of the night.
"How exactly do you know the Joker…I mean Jack…or Mr. Napier?"
"Oh God it was years ago. I was working with a carnival that was traveling all over the western half of this big beautiful country of ours. Have you ever been out west Doctor?"
"No Mr. Dove I…"
"It's Ace Doctor. Well anyway…I think we picked Jack up in Utah. I don't think that's where he was from originally, but he said he would do anything and everything as long as we took him, his girlfriend Alicia, and his little brother Jonny with us."
"Did you notice anything unusual about Mr. Napier at the time?"
"Unusual? No. Jack was a hard worker, loved his girl and little brother, and was a damn laugh riot."
"What exactly did Mr. Napier do to earn his keep?"
"Well he did all kinds of things. He is a very charismatic individual so sometimes management had him be a barker for the sideshow, you 'Come one, come all and see the amazing Lobster Boy; and stuff like that. Some times we had him tell jokes between acts under the big top, but most of the time we had him do his little knife show."
"Knife show?"
"Yeah. Jack could throw a knife better than anyone I've ever seen. He used to have his girl get tied to a big bulls eye and would toss knives at her, sometimes without even looking."
"So he was never a clown?"
"Clown? No of course not."
What's wrong Doctor? Is my story poking all kinds of holes into your diagnosis? I'm sure that's why you have that pissy look on your face. But it's not my fault you're wrong.
"Do you have any information on why Mr. Napier might have ended up the way he is Ace? Any information about that at all?"
"Oh of course I do. I know exactly what happened actually."
Do I have any information at all? What a bitch. The other psychiatrists had been ready to send me packing after the information I just gave her.
"Please then Ace…tell me."
"Well we were in Texas. A little town called Iris. The first two nights we had been open had gone well. But there was a faction in the town that didn't trust us, sounds absurd I know this being the twenty-first century and all but whatever. They were led by a preacher named Stahl. I guess his daughter's curiosity got the best of her and the last night we were in town she came out to the site. There was a part in Jack's show where he would take a member of the audience and throw knives at them. Well some little shit in the crowd thought it would be funny to flash a laser pointer in Jack's eyes right before he threw."
"Did the girl die?"
"No. I told you…Jack was the best. But the knife cut the girl's face pretty bad. There was a huge uproar. The townspeople took her back to her dad who immediately called for Jack's blood. I managed to hide Jack in time. But his girl Alicia and his little brother were in town buying groceries. Stahl and his boys got them, and when Jack found out he took his knives and went after them."
"Do you know what happened?"
Oh Doctor Quinzel…I knew you would end up like this. Hanging on my every little word.
"Not exactly, but I've pieced it together as best I could. Jack was no match for Stahl's numbers. That preacher took Jack, Alicia, and Jonny out into the desert that night. You know it's amazing what a so called man of God can do."
"What happened?"
"Stahl made Jack watch as Alicia and Jonny were raped. We found the bodies the next morning. Stahl had tarred and feathered that poor girl and little boy. Old time justice. I can't imagine the pain they must have gone through."
"Did Jack say anything? Anything at all?"
"He only said one thing to me. When I got him back to my trailer and was looking him over I saw that they had cut the sides of his mouth open, almost all the way up his ears. I asked what at happened and all he said was 'They…made…me…laugh.' I left for just a few minutes to get some bandages and when I came back he was gone. He had taken my straight razor and run off."
"That's it? That's all you know? Where did he go?"
"I don't know. I figured he had run off to cut his wrists. God knows I might have done the same thing. But the next time we swung through Iris we heard that Stahl and anyone involved with the murder of Jack's girl and brother had been murdered."
"Did Jack do it?"
"I don't know. I suppose. But anyway I thought he was dead until I saw his trial on the television."
I did it. I knew I would, but the sense of accomplishment never gets old. He's going to be really happy to see me. Doctor Quinzel…it's been nice knowing you.
"Uh Doctor, do you think I could see him?"
"What? I don't know about that. I mean the Joker is very dangerous and usually we don't go down there without four or five guards."
"Please Doctor…I just want to see him. He was my friend. If I see him I'm sure it will help."
You're going to say yes. You shrinks are all the same. You'll do anything in order to manufacture a breakthrough. I'll just get my bad ready.
"Alright I suppose it would be fine. Only for a few minutes though."
"After you Doctor Quinzel."
Just walking through this dump I can tell what kind of crazies are kept here. There very worst kind of. Those special few that are so far beyond help it isn't even worth the effort. Sort of makes you question the sanity of the staff. Arkham Asylum…what a depressing place to be.
"Here we are Ace. Now as you can see he isn't strapped down or anything. He's been behaving very well recently. We even let him have some books. He's been reading a lot about chemistry lately, I'm not sure why."
Go on and laugh to yourself, you have no idea what's coming. I can feel the handle of the gun under my shirt. Where should I shoot her? The head? No, she was a bitch earlier, I'll shoot her in the kidneys and let her suffer. Two quiet little clicks, followed by a gasp and the clang of shell casings hitting the floor. She's not dead…yet. Good thing she left the keys in the door.
"Mr. J? Jack are you in there? It's Ace. I got your letter. What kind of idiots would let you write letters?"
"DON'T COME IN HERE GOD DAMNIT! NOT UNTIL I HAVE MY FACE ON!"
"Sorry Mr. J."
I can't believe I forgot how sensitive he is about his face. He shouldn't be very long. I'll just slide him the bag and he'll be out in no time.
"Thank you Ace."
"No problem Mr. J. Sorry again."
"Is that Doctor Quinzel there on the ground?"
"Yes sir."
"That's to bad. I was thinking about asking her along, she kind of likes me I think. And if you shorten her name it's Harley Quinn. You know Ace, like Harlequin. Get it?"
There's that laugh I've been missing. Most people would think me crazy for saying that, but when you've been working for someone for ten years you grow attached. I missed Jack.
"So which story did you tell them this time Ace?"
He's a little thinner than normal. But if I had spent a year in here I would be a little thinner too.
"I told them the real one Jack."
"Oh…which one is that again?"
"The one with the carnival and the preacher. That one that you told me was what actually happened. That did actually happen didn't it Jack?"
I hate it when he gives me the kind of looks he's giving me now. Just a little smirk, a twinkle of his eye. It's like he knows the answer but doesn't want to tell me. It's the kind of look he gives people when they ask if they are going to die.
"Jack?"
"Oh I don't know Ace…I have so many different versions of events. It really depends on what day you ask."
Even I can't help but chuckle. That's another reason I think he keeps me around. I actually laugh at his jokes.
"So what's the plan Mr. J? Are we skipping town tonight, tomorrow, or what?"
"Oh no, no, no Ace. This town is special. There are oh so many interesting people I want you to meet. Make some calls, bring in some guys from out of town. I've made to many enemies to recruit here in Gotham."
"What are we going to do here Mr. J?"
"Don't worry Ace. I have plan. You're going to love it."
There's that cackle again. I better go clear the way of guards. Jack can get distracted when he thinks deeply. Doesn't pay close enough attention. I need to kill some people. Then I need to make those phone calls.
