Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of its characters. I do not own Little Red Riding Hood, or a riding hood at all, for that matter. If I owned either of them, Naraku would already be dead, stung to death by thoseinsectsof his, and Mukotsu would have taken his place as resident bad guy, and I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.
Yet Another Parody
Once, a long, long time ago, back when people actually let their small children out of their sights because it wasn't their fault if they wandered off, there was a demon lord named Sesshoumaru. He lived alone after kicking his idiotic brother out, except for his retainer, a mostly incompetent imp named Jaken, and his ward, Rin. One day, he left Rin in the care of Jaken for more than a week, and all hell broke loose.
"Master Jaken! Master Jaken!" Rin screeched as she jumped up and down. "Can I go visit grandma?"
Jaken involuntarily shuddered. "Why do you want to visit a pile of old bones?"
"Not that grandma, silly. My grandma that lives outside of InuYasha's village."
"You don't have a grandmother!" he squawked.
"Yes I do."
"No you don't!"
"Yes I do!"
A brief struggle ensued, ending with Jaken getting a black eye and Rin acting as if nothing happened. Jaken succumbed to Rin's demands, and about died when he saw what she decided to wear.
A red riding hood.
"What in Kami's name is that?" he half-asked, half-screeched.
"It's a gift from my grandmother. She made it for me."
"That still doesn't explain what it is, silly child. What would Sesshoumaru-sama say of it?"
Rin fiddled with a flower she had plucked. "He wouldn't say anything about it, Master Jaken, and you know it."
At a loss for witty comebacks, Jaken let the girl wear the hideous article of clothing. It would not be his fault if she died, and it was not like once she died, she would stay dead. Tenseiga would see to that part.
Rin picked up a basket, and decided to take some sashimi to her grandmother, not realizing it would be rotten by the time she got there. As she walked down the road, Rin ditched the riding hood, thinking it a crazy gift from an inane old woman.
While she was wandering down the path, the sashimi started to stink, and Rin left it, basket and all, right in the middle of the path. A couple of wolf demons stumbled across it, sniffed it, and shuddered. "Kouga!" they yelled in unison.
"What?" Kouga asked, annoyed.
"Someone's trying to poison us!" Ginta exclaimed.
"Yeah, why else would they leave it in the middle of the road like this."
Kouga mentally tried to block out their ceaseless ramblings, and hurled the basket over the tops of the trees, right smack into Rin's grandmother's hut. "See, boys? Nothing to be afraid of. It was just some rotten sashimi."
Meanwhile…
Rin pranced up to the door of the hut, and squealed "Grandmother! It's Rin!"
Fortunately, there was no one home. Rin's grandmother had gone to the village earlier that day to get a salve for pain in her lower back. But, Naraku, for some twisted reason unbeknown to everyone, including himself, had followed Rin, and as Rin she was leaving, Naraku saw the brat and changed forms, as to appear as her grandmother, and rushed up to meet her.
"Rin! It is so good to see you!" Naraku said brightly, trying his best to impersonate a woman he had never seen.
Rin immediately shied away. "Grandmother," she said slowly. "What strange speech you have." And so the game began.
"All the better to communicate with you, my dear."
"Grandmother, what big words you have."
"All the better to educate you."
"Grandmother, what strange eyes you have."
"All the better to see you with."
"Grandmother, how much taller you seem."
"All the better to—oh, screw it." Naraku raised an arm to strike Rin, only to be met by "Sankon Tetsusou!"
The arm fell off and decomposed quickly. InuYasha was there, eyes blazing. "Naraku, now die!" He drew Tetsusaiga and bellowed "Wind Scar!"
Naraku dissolved into nothingness. If InuYasha had been smart, he would have noticed Sesshoumaru's scent. If he had been smart, he would have left the area after slaying Naraku. If he had been smart, he would have sheathed Tetsusaiga.
Sadly, InuYasha has never been known for his intelligence.
"What are you doing, little brother?"
Pardon me, but feel free to review. A note to the potential and probable flamers: If you flame me, I will disreguard it. There's a difference between a flame and constructive critisim, and I can take some pretty harsh critisim, but I will not pay attention to flames.
