Wolf: I wrote this randomly. Luke will say the disclaimer. (Flashes out licorice whip.)
Luke: (Gulps.) Wolf doesn't know Star Wars, Xbox, or iPods.
An Awkward Moment
The pretty colors of the red and blue lightsabersclashed across the gantry, where Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader were dueling on Cloud City. Vader, in a horrible act of child abuse, hacked off Luke's hand in a fit of rage. Luke backed away from Vader, as the hand and saber spun down the shaft, never to be seen again until the Thrawn trilogy.
"Ow," cried Luke in pain, holding his stump of an arm, "that hurt! Don't you realize I only have two of those?"
Vader waved him off. "Relax, man! You'll get a new one! And it'll be better too!"
"Of course it will," Luke snorted, "Next you'll be telling me Leia is my sister!"
"Aren't you supposed to be screaming now?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, right…I'll never join you!"
Vader clenched his fist. "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side! Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father!"
"I have no idea how my father ties into this, but Obi-an did tell me what happened to my father!"
"Did he really?"
"Yeah! He told me you killed him!"
"No, I-I-I…dang it! I forgot my line!" Vader smacked his helmet in annoyance with himself.
A frustrated teenage girl's voice boomed, "JUST READ THE SCRIPT, YOU MORON!"
"Right!" Vader pulled out a huge script. " Here it is! Anyways," he cleared his throat, "No, Luke, I am your father!"
Luke began to moan in denial, "That's not true…that's impossible!"
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO….. Hey, wait a minute!"
"What?"
Luke glared accusingly at his daddy. "You owe me twenty-two years worth of birthday presents!"
Vader groaned. "Shut up, will you!"
"Never!" denied Luke, "I refuse to shut up! Besides, you have to give me some good reasons to join the Dark Side as of yet!"
"Umm…" Truth to be told, he didn't really have any good reasons. "I'll give you all of those presents!
"Oh really? Like what?"
"A Xbox!"
Luke sighed in exasperation. "No!"
"Sorry, I meant Xbox 360."
Luke thought it over for a minute, then shook his head. "When will I ever play it?"
"Maybe a new iPod?"
"I already have one."
"Candy?"
"No!"
"A new wardrobe?"
Luke groaned with disgust. "I am NOT a girl!"
"Well…I suppose I could give you health benefits."
Luke sighed. "Screw this…" He tried to get up off the gantry to leave. Unfortunately, he ended up falling down the shaft instead. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he screamed on the way down. Falling down shafts was fun!
Far above, Vader was staring down at his falling son. "I am so fired…"
Aboard the Millenium Falcon, Luke sat on a medical bunk, holding his hideous stump of an arm.
Luke, said a very creepy mental voice.
Ahhhhhhh! It's those voices again!
Shut up, Luke! This is your father!
Why, hello, Dear Old Dad! How is life?
Luke, you cannot run from your destiny.
Great, more of that fortune cookie crap! I got enough of that from Yoda!
Luke, you must not go into hyper-
Too late. The Falcon sped into hyperspace, leaving a depressed Vader to strangle yet another high ranking Imperial officer.
Days later, leia was looking out into the vastness of space, while Luke was fiddling with his new hand. After a while, he walked over and joined Leia, putting his new hand on her shoulder. She gazed at him. "Hey, Luke?"
"Yeah, Leia?"
"Get your fake hand off of my shoulder. It's really creeping me out."
Wolf:Well, it is done!
Anakin: Yay!
Obi-wan: Hey Anakin, why were you Vader earlier?
Anakin: ...I don't even know.
Wolf: Review!
