This was a random idea I had - I was thinking of how obnoxious the guys in my class are because of an inside joke that came up, and this is something that at least one of them would do.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does.


BPOV

"He's such a cute puppy, isn't he?" I cooed, scratching our russet husky, Jacob, on the head. I was lounging on the sofa in our living room, and Jake was sitting with his head resting on my knee, content. We'd gotten him from a rescue shelter.

Edward nodded, "A man's best friend." Even though we'd only had Jake a few weeks, the two were very much attached. Don't get me wrong – Jacob loved me, too, but he and Edward were almost inseparable; it was some sort of 'man bond' or something. I smiled at the thought. Men were ridiculous, but you know what they say: can't live with them, can't live without them.

"Remember, we have to take him to the vet's to get fixed tomorrow," I reminded my husband. No offense to Jacob, but we didn't need any more of him running around, especially with one of Edward's and my own on the way.

"Fixed?" Edward frowned. "You don't mean-"

"Yes, I mean fixed. You know, neutered? Unable to reproduce? Snipped down low?"

I could practically see the gears turning in his head. He gasped, and his disgruntled look quickly turned to one of horror.

"What's wrong?"

"They're going to chop his balls off?" he asked in dismay. "No! The poor dog! I won't let you, Bella!"

My concern quickly turned to irritation, and I glared at Edward. "Oh, yes, you will, or you're next!" He audibly gulped and then turned to our dog.

"Sorry, man," he sighed, "but my manhood's gotta come first. Blame my wife for what's going to happen." Edward patted Jake's head solemnly, then walked out of the room with his head bowed.

"He's a drama queen, you know that?" I asked the dog. "I really hope that this child of ours doesn't turn out to be so theatrical." I giggled, and I rubbed my slightly swollen stomach.

"I heard that!" Edward yelled from the kitchen.

"I love you, too!" Gosh, I loved my husband, but he was a dork.

"Love you forever, Bells!" Well, a sweet dork. But if he gave me any more crap about Jacob's being fixed, I was going to smack him upside the head.

I really hate these mood swings.


EPOV

Bella's mood swings were going to be the death of me. Not only that, but I was going to have to drive my best non-human friend to his impending doom. I didn't know if I could stand it, but I'd have to.

Later, when Bella had fallen asleep, I called Jake over to me. "Listen buddy, I'm sorrier than I can say about what's going to happen. I hope you can forgive me someday. Just remember…" I looked around, making sure Bella wasn't in hearing range, "it was her idea!"

Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I heard a foot tapping. I froze, then slowly turned around, a sheepish grin on my face. "Oh, hi, Bella… You're up awful late, shouldn't you be in bed? The baby, you know…"

"Mmm. Trying to convince the dog, who can't understand you, that his 'doom' is my entire fault? This is ridiculous, come to bed. I'm tired."

Phew. I'm in the clear for now. "Okay, love," I murmured, standing. She turned and began walking to our bedroom, and I trailed behind. "Go to your bed, boy," I whispered to Jake, "I'll see you tomorrow, but it won't be the best day of your life."

With one final, sad glance, I entered our room, crawling in bed and wrapping my arms around my wife. We said goodnight, and then drifted off to dreamland. My last waking thought: Poor Jacob.


I thought it was pretty funny. I like Edward like this sometimes. I think it's cute. Anywho, it was an idea that just struck me. It's short but sweet.

Review?

-Lizzie