"Harvey, do I really have to cook the pasta al dente?" Mike shouted over the sound of the Olympics.
"Al dente is the only way to cook pasta. You should be glad I'm getting some use out of the kitchen," Harvey said back to his boyfriend.
"I like going out," Mike countered.
"Oh, yeah? You blush like a virgin every time I introduce you as my boyfriend. Sure you want to go through that a hundred more times?"
"It was warm in that room." Mike muttered.
"Hurry up and put it in the water, you're going to miss Phelps and we all know you have a big crush on him." There was a loud crunch as Mike shoved all the pasta into the boiling water. Harvey looked over his shoulder. Mike gulped and Harvey resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Mike walked into the room and sat on the couch opposite Harvey.
"A-hem," Harvey said, patting the place next to him on the couch. Mike obediently slid over and Harvey slung an arm around Mike's shoulder. "You burned the popcorn, by the way," Harvey said dryly, eating another handful of the over-salted, blackened corn.
"I'm not a good cook when it comes to all your expensive equipment! I'm used to burgers. Burgers I can do." Mike said.
"I'm not eating your version of a hamburger in a kitchen that cost me thousands of dollars," Harvey replied, eyebrow raised. They watched the race and didn't even pay attention to the pasta. They were busy cheering until Harvey sniffed the air.
"Do you smell smoke?" he asked.
"No… wait a second… dammit I forget to set the timer!" said Mike, rushing over to the pasta and turning off the flame, fanning it with his hands just as the fire alarm went off.
"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!," Harvey shouted over the sound of the fire alarm.
"A little less criticism, if you could?" shouted Mike. Harvey ignored the sound of the fire alarms, and walked into the other room. The sound of the alarms went off in another few minutes. Harvey walked out of the bedroom impeccably dressed.
"Get dressed, we're going out to eat," he said to Mike.
"But I thought-"
"You're going to have to get over your shyness if you can't even cook a goddamn pasta dish," Harvey said. "As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." Mike grinned.
"It's on you," he said.
"Isn't it always?" Harvey asked.
