Once more, a mahoosive thank you to everyone who ever reads my stories and also take the time to review them. I appreciate each and every one of you.
So this came to me last night after watching the latest episode ( which was alright, but Robyn hugging Cal - seriously? It should have been Ethan). Anyway I'm looking at things more from Ethan's point of view (surprise, surprise) so they'll be a few glimpses of last night's episode but it's mostly my twist on things. This is kind of a follow on from my What's Going On? story although I don't think that you have had to read that to understand this. Hope you like this.
It's The Little Things
Dr Ethan Hardy stepped into the welcome silence of the staff room. He closed the door behind him, sighing deeply as the calm washed over him. Slowly he began to get changed, thinking back over the day he had just finished, wondering, as he did every day, whether he could have done something differently. Those thoughts however, were soon replaced by other images from that day. Lily's face when he had told her that he couldn't condone what she had done to Alicia...but his most vivid image was that of his brother. Cal had seemed totally lost earlier. His expression was something that Ethan had never seen before on his normally over confident brother. He looked completely bereft of purpose - he had even accepted a hug from Robyn, which although Cal was known for being more tactile than Ethan, it had surprised the younger man. Obviously he had checked up on him on numerous occasions and of course he had said that he was fine. But Ethan knew he was anything but fine. Losing Matilda had broken his brother's heart, as well as his own. Cal was trying to cover up and was almost succeeding, except that having grown up looking up to his older brother, Ethan knew full well that he wasn't coping. There was something else though - Ethan could feel it. The secret conversations with Charlie, the blood tests...and then the letter that he had found after their Tequila binge - the one where he had noticed that Cal not only had a different blood group from their mum, but also that there was no way that their mother could have had a child with Cal's blood group. What did this mean? Why wouldn't Cal talk to him?
"You not going home?" a voice penetrated his thoughts. He turned slightly, gasping as hot liquid splashed onto his hand, when had he made a coffee?
He smiled shyly as he shook his head, "I'm just...no not yet. It's hard to go back there knowing Matilda isn't there anymore."
"I'm sure it is. I suppose even though you didn't know her for long, she got under your skin," Lily was trying to be supportive, "Look, erm, if you don't want to go home yet, do you fancy coming to mine? I could cook."
Ethan suddenly felt awkward in front of his friend, "That's kind of you Lily, but..."
"You still can't look at me properly. I thought we were friends," Lily's voice rose, she looked upset.
"We are friends Lily - which is why I'm finding it so hard to accept your behaviour with regards to Alicia. I want you to take some time, remember how you felt when you accused Ash of the same behaviour. I understand that you are grieving for your father and that it will take time, but you need to think about what you have done. I know that you are not a bad person Lily, you've just lost your way..."
Lily threw her bag onto her shoulder as tears filled her eyes, "Your loss!" she snapped as she barged out of the staff room.
Ethan sighed once more as he got up and washed his cup. He then text his brother to say that he was just leaving.
Good, I've got the beers - pizza be ok for tonight? I'll order it so it's fresh for when you get home.
Ethan smiled fondly at the message, grabbed his bag, threw his scarf around his neck and left the 'madhouse' for the night.
Thirty minutes later, Ethan walked through the door to his flat. He dropped his bag off in his room then walked into the living room. Cal was draped on a sofa with a bottle of beer already half drunk, staring wistfully at the pizza box in front of him, "You didn't have to wait," Ethan said.
Cal sat up straight and turned towards him, "It's only just arrived a couple of minutes before you did," he told him, trying to muster up a smile. Ethan sat down with a huff, "Hard day?" his brother asked.
Ethan picked up a piece of pizza and placed it on a plate, "Not really, just had a run in with Lily...she still thinks that she was in the right with Alicia - she just can't see - I think grief has clouded her judgement - it can do that, make you do things that you wouldn't normally do."
Cal squirmed in his seat, watching his brother carefully. As Ethan took a bit of pizza, he glanced up - and stopped dead. The once pink wall where Matilda used to lay near was back to it's orginal colour. Ethan felt like he had had the breath knocked out of him. He tried to chew, but it felt like a block of stone in his mouth. He shot to his feet, "I'll get some napkins," he mumbled as he staggered into the kitchen. Once in there he spat out the pizza and stood, gripping the side of the sink as his stomach decided to somersault in a most undesirable way. He began to breathe deeply, as a torrent of emotion washed over him, causing the tears in his eyes to overflow. Before he knew what was happening, a great flood of tears cascaded down his cheeks, totally unchecked as Ethan felt a sob escape from his lips. Without warning, a hand clutched his shoulder and his anxious brother came into view, "Eth, what is it? What's wrong?"
Ethan shook his head as he clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle any noises, but it doesn't work, a pained sob escaped him as he all but fell into Cal. The older man looked confused and concerned at the same time. He had never seen his brother in such a state before - and he didn't know why, "Ethan talk to me - what's going on?" he asked as he rubbed circles on the younger man's back.
Ethan pulled himself away, "I...can't...it's...you're going to think I'm stupid," he stuttered.
"Ethan, after seeing you like this, I don't think it's stupid."
"You painted the wall!" Ethan watched his brother's face, waiting for any indication that he was going to laugh. He didn't. He stood looking at him in confusion, until all of a sudden, realisation dawned on him, "You mean the pink wall?"
Ethan nodded, "Told you it was stupid. It's just that...painting over it makes it so final...even though I know it is, that she's not coming back to us - but seeing the wall back to the normal colour...I'm sorry."
Cal smiled, and this time it did reach his eyes, "You've nothing to be sorry about Ethan. I understand - do you think I managed to do it without shedding a tear? Well I didn't - I just can't believe that she made such an impact in such a short time."
Now Ethan smiled, "She certainly did - she's still having an impact now. It's the little things, you know?"
"Why didn't you talk to me about this?" Cal wondered - even though he thought he knew the answer.
"You'd got enough on looking after yourself - you didn't need to worry about me," Ethan told him sincerely.
"But that's my job as a big brother..." Cal faltered as he looked at the smaller man.
Now it was Ethan's turn to be concerned again, "What's going on Cal? I know there's something that you're not telling me. Is it something to do with the DNA results..."
Cal's head snapped towards Ethan, "WHat do you mean?"
"I read the results more carefully the other night when we had had our fill of Tequila - I saw your blood group Cal..."
Cal paled significantly, "I...I...don't know..."
"It's completely different - there's no way that mum can be...mum is there?" Ethan felt his eyes fill once more.
Cal hung his head, "I was going to tell you Ethan - honestly I was, just ask Charlie..."
"Charlie? So that's what the secret conversations were about - you were confiding in Charlie and not in me?" Ethan began to shake, "Since when was Charlie a better option than your own brother?"
"But you might not be my brother Ethan, don't you get it? We might not be related at all!" Cal felt a tear slip down his face, which he wiped away angrily, "I was going to tell you when I had more facts. I knew you'd have questions and I wanted to make sure I could answer them when I told you," Cal told him in his defense, "I didn't mean to leave you out of all this, I just needed to find out more, to come to terms with the fact that mum wasn't my mum and that you might not be my brother..."
Now it was Ethan's turn to reassure his conflicted brother, "Cal, whatever the outcome is, you are still my annoying, pain in the backside big brother. Nothing will ever change that - I promise you that. And I will still be your tetchy, geeky little brother...if you'll still have me," Ethan looked to the floor realising that he couldn't bear it if Cal said any differently. As it was, the older man strode forward and once more brought him into an embrace, "You will always be my geeky, irritating and down right amazing little brother...always!"
Hope it was ok. Cheesy ending? Hee hee
I also really hope that whatever happens in the show, that our brother's never change with each other.
