"Cerebral Mischief"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with WWE or Ever After High. World Wrestling Entertainment and it's wrestlers are owned by Vince McMahon and Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the owner of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale. Anyway, here's something for those who hate the Authority! So here ya go!

P.S.: Italics will mean that someone will speak out words from an intercom, just so you know.


Triple H was in his office doing paperwork. Obviously, he was thinking of plans on what to do for this year's WrestleMania, considering he wanted to forget the event from last year (because he lost to Daniel Bryan in humiliating fashion). With his trusty pen in hand, Triple H turned on his thinking capsule.

"Hmmmm, what to think, what to think..." Triple H muttered to himself.

He was trying to think of an interesting main event for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. One that would shatter the roof off of Levi's Stadium in San Francisco, California. Except it had no roof. But at least the COO of WWE would imagine there was one. But he wasn't thinking about roofs at this very moment. He was thinking about a main event.

After seconds of thinking, he finally thought of the perfect championship match.

"I got an idea!" Triple H exclaimed, "Brock Lesnar will defend his WWE World Heavyweight Championship against... The Gobbledy Gooker! That oughta win fans over!"

Feeling ecstatic, Triple H wrote the whole thing down on a sheet of paper. As he was doing so, someone spoke to him on the intercom.

"Mr. H," The secretary said. "There's someone here to see you."

"Whoever it is, Miss, it'll have to wait," Triple H spoke in the intercom. "I'm a bit busy here."

"It's your father-in-law." The secretary spoke back, referring to Vince McMahon, the chairman of WWE.

"Tell him he'll have to wait a little while." Triple H replied.

As soon as he hung up the intercom, he looked at his sheet of paper, only to realize that his pen ended up missing.

This was strange and yet, so bizarre. Suddenly, his pen was nowhere to be found. It was like it grew legs and ran off on him. Triple H felt confused at first. Maybe a bird swept in and took it while he wasn't looking. After all, his window was left open for no reason.

"Okay, where exactly did my pen go?" Triple H raised his eyebrow questionably. "Hmmmm, maybe the ink ran out anyway."

Trying to ignore the embarrassing moment, Triple H grabbed another pen from his coffee cup and started writing down his ideas.

But then, he was cut off by a breeze from the window. It was so cold, it was almost like Alaska. After all, it was very cool outside, so maybe opening the window was a bad idea.

"Oh, what was I thinking trying to get some air here?" Triple H sighed as he put down his pen and got up from his chair.

Using his great strength, Triple H shut the window tightly.

"There we go," He said, "At least that'll help."

When Triple H turned around however, he looked at his table only to realize that his paper was also gone.

"Oh that's just perfect." Triple H sighed, "Now my paper's gone. Well, I'll just have to write it on another sheet of paper again."

Feeling stressed out, Triple H opened up his desk cabinet...

...

...

...only to realize the stack of papers were gone as well.

"Wha-I don't understand..." Triple H muttered, "It was just here! I oughta know since I put those sheets of paper in!"

Feeling a lot more stressed, Triple H rushed over and turned on the intercom.

"Secretary, I need more paper on my desk!" He shouted in panic.

"But sir, you have a visitor!" The secretary cried out.

"Like I said, I'm a busy man!" Triple H nodded, "NOW MOVE!"

After he hung up the intercom, Triple H looked to his coffee cup, where his pens were.

Shockingly...

...

...

...they were all gone, along with his other pen and paper!

Realizing that the rest of his things are long gone, Triple H grew mad.

"Okay, is this some kind of sick joke?" Triple H shouted, "Cause I'm not laughing!"

But out of nowhere, Triple H heard laughing in the background. Apparently, it wasn't coming from outside of Triple H's office, but instead, the voice was coming right inside his office. He looked around to see where that laughing came from.

"Who's there?" Triple H hesitated as he got out of his seat. "If that's you laughing Daniel Bryan, I'm gonna take your horns and stuff them through this wall, you over-stuffed goat!"

As Triple H looked all around in fear, a mysterious female voice was heard behind him.

"Looking for these, boss?"

Hearing her voice, the Cerebral Assassin turned around...

...

...

...and saw a teenage girl with long curly purple twin ponytails, complete with a mini hat which had a cat's smile and mischievous cat eyes. To top it off, she had Triple H's pen and paper in both of their hands.

Obviously, this mischievous prankster went by the name of Kitty Cheshire, the daughter of the Cheshire Cat.

"What?" Triple H raised his eyebrow again, "How in the hell did you get in my office? And how in the hell did you get past security?"

"Oh, Hunter Hearst Helmsley..." Kitty chuckled. "I do admire your rage and anger. How do you do it?"

"Damn it, I'm not playing your damn cat games!" Triple H shouted, "Give me my damn pen and paper back."

"I would." Kitty smirked, "But it wouldn't be much fun for me just to give something back that isn't mine."

"I'm warning you right now," Triple H's teeth gritted in anger. "GIVE. IT. BACK."

Hearing Triple H's forceful demand, Kitty had two words just for him:

"Suck it."

"OKAY, THAT'S IT!" He shouted.

Triple H finally lost his patience with Kitty. In retaliation, he broke the emergency glass standing next to him and brought out a sledgehammer. He clenched his hands tightly and gave out such threatening words to the prankster.

"I hope your likes your brains mashed." Triple H growled.

"Oooh, this oughta be fun!" Kitty clapped evilly.

Using his hell-bound aggression, Triple H swung his sledgehammer at Kitty, who ended up disappearing in sight like some sort of magic trick. To his disappointment, Triple H ended up hitting his table, which broke in pieces.

"Damn it! I missed!"

"Yoo-hoo! Over here, Thor..." Kitty teased him from behind.

Triple H turned around to see Kitty standing behind a wall. But that wasn't the least of his problems.

Upside Kitty's head was a picture of Triple H with a moustache painted right on top of his lips.

"You're actually right," Kitty smirked, "This pen does work wonders!"

"No one makes a fool out of the King of Kings!" Triple H shouted as he swung his sledgehammer.

But just like before, Kitty disappeared yet again, only for Triple H to strike his wall. Therefore, it left a hole in it.

"Damn, she's good." He whispered to himself.

"C'mon, you can do better than that..." Kitty smirked from behind again.

As Triple H turned around again, he found Kitty Cheshire sitting behind the window, feeling sleepy.

"The sun feels so nice, doesn't it?" Kitty said, looking at the Game.

"Glad you like it," Triple H nodded in rage. "Because I'm looking to make you burn in it!"

With one last moment of rage, Triple H decided to do the smart thing by throwing the sledgehammer straight to Kitty Cheshire's face. He threw it perfect pin-point accuracy, going faster than your usual speedball. Triple H smiled in delight, thinking he was gonna get her.

But alas...

...

...

...Kitty disappeared again, which forced the sledgehammer to smash through the glass and out the window in disbelief!

Triple H was in shock and in disbelief. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. Although she was no longer seen, the Cerebral Assassin could still hear Kitty's voice irritate him.

"Oh Triple H, when will you learn?" She smirked again, "You just try and try and try, but yet, you'll never yet to be good at it. It's just like you and your wife in the bedroom."

Kitty's little comment about him and his wife sent Triple H into a raging frenzy. In fact, his muscles were bulging out of his shirt, therefore sending little ripples from his business suit.

"THAT DOES IT!" Triple H shouted, "NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE GETS AWAY MAKING FUN ABOUT MY HORRIBLE SEX LIFE! I'M GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN EVEN IF I HAVE TO DESTROY EVERY LIVING THING THAT COMES FROM MY OFFICE! YOU'RE DEAD, YOU LITTLE KITTY SKANK! D-E-A-D, DEAD!"

From that point on, Triple H started punching everything in sight. He was knocking down every ounce of his book cabinets and smashing down walls, hoping he would punch the hell out of that mischievous kitty.

Outside of Triple H's office came his father-in-law, Mr. McMahon, walking in with pants between his ankles.

"Mr. McMahon, you can't just walk in with your pants down!" The secretary told him.

"It's not my fault I ran out of toilet paper, damn it!" Vince snapped at the secretary, "Now I gotta borrow some from my son-in-law."

"I'm asking you that if you wanna see Triple H, please pick your pants up!" The assistant cried out.

"You can't tell me what to do, damn it!" Vince shouted to the secretary, "I wear my pants wherever I like!"

Already ignoring the secretary's pleas. Vince opened up the office door..

...

...

...only to see Triple H down on his knees, along with the holes that was left in his wall and around his windows.

Everything around Triple H was a total mess. And suddenly, Mr. McMahon's anger was now steaming like veggies in a crockpot.

"Damn it, Hunter..." Vince growled, "What have you done to this place? This office that I gave you when you entered my family? It looks like a damn futuristic gunfight in here! Have you got anything to say to yourself before I leave you out of my will?"

Leaving to face his own father-in-law by himself, Triple H gave out his excuse.

"There's a good explanation for all of this, dad." Triple H replied. "A cat swept in knocked everything over."

"Bullshit!" Mr. McMahon yelled out, "You gonna make me believe that a cat did this? What's next, you're gonna have Kane start a fire with his ass, setting everyone ablaze?"

"I'm not lying, Vince!" Triple H cried out, "A cat really did come in here!"

The argument between Vince and Triple H began to go on for hours. No one knew how this argument was gonna end, and luckily, no one should have to see it.

Meanwhile, Kitty Cheshire re-appeared outside of WWE headquarters. Looking up at the carnage between father and son, she smirked at the mess she made. From there, Kitty brought out a checklist, which showed things and places she wanted to terrorize and torture next.

"Okay, now that Triple H is checked off the list, it's Justin Bieber's turn," Kitty said, checking off Triple H's name. "Oh, the fun I'm gonna have with him."

And Kitty disappeared from sight, leaving her signature Cheshire smile in its wake.


Well, sucks to be Triple H and the Authority now. Oh well, they get what they deserve. Although I love Mr. McMahon. He was a little random here.

Anyway, feedbacks are welcome! ^_^