A/N: Hi guys. I know I shouldn't be writing anything other then the fics already in progress but this wouldn't leave me alone.
So in celebration to an awesome two part opening to Merlin series 5, I have written this little one-shot. I missed it but I didn't realise how much until it was back. Arthur is still clueless, Merlin is still magical, Gwaine still has great hair and Gwen is still annoying (Sorry Gwen fans but for half of series one and all of series 2, 3 and 4 I found her boring and useless. She was portrayed as to prefect in my opinion, even when she did something wrong it was shrugged off. I still don't like her now she's Queen and had a complete attitude adjustment. And hello love, you're a MARRIED medieval woman. Why are you showing that much cleavage? You didn't show that much when you were single and a servant. Sorry rant over.)
This was inspired by the fact that Merlin swords never really need cleaning but yet no-one reacts to the fact. It is meant to be funny.
I shall now impatiently await episode 3. One hour to go!
Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I am neither the BBC nor Shine TV. Until I find a way to become them, I do not own Merlin.
Why Camelot couldn't keep a blacksmith.
"James the Smith, you are been found guilty of the crime of sorcery. There is but one sentence I can pass, death. Guards take him away, he burns at dawn." Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot, ran a weary hand down his face as he lent back in his throne, ignoring the pleading smith as he was dragged away.
That was the fifth blacksmith this year that had been found using magic and it wasn't even March yet, although curiously, all the smiths were using the same spell, but Uther just believed that to be idiocy, an affliction that all sorcerers seemed to suffer from. Really who would duplicate the same method that got your predecessor killed, especially as the purge had been over not even a year!
Shaking his head in bemusement, Uther dismissed the court, already planning to go and see his baby son.
"Please Sire. I'm innocent, innocent!" Another blacksmith was hauled off for an execution. It had been five months since the problem had started, and already they had lost three times as many smiths. Now Uther is not blind to the evil of sorcery, but surly there must be something else at work here also.
"Gaius" the King turned to one of his oldest friend and his physician. "What is happening to all the smiths? It cannot be that they are all turned to magic. Is there any other explanation as to why are weapons remain clean no matter how they are used on the enemy? Or why there is no blood or wounds on the enemies? "
The other man raises his eyebrow, a move that had become infamous throughout the five kingdoms. "It is odd sire. I will research into the matter promptly."
"Excellent, Gaius. I will respect a report when I return from my trip." Uther turned to brood, silently dismissing Gaius.
With a bow, the healer left to do as he was bid.
"Sire, I have found the cause of problem with the blacksmiths."
Gaius voice drew the King from his thoughts. Truthfully, he had forgotten all about the order he had given his friend. The time spent ... comforting Lady Vivienne whilst her husband, Uther's Friend Sir Gorlois was of fighting in the Northern Planes. Spotting his friend waiting for acknowledgment, Uther shook his head and nodded for the physician to continue.
"Sire, this phenomenon is not the work of sorcery."
"WHAT" The royal was outraged. "This has got to be the work of magic. It is not possible for this to be a natural technique for surly the blacksmiths would advertise the fact."
The infamous eyebrow rose at the ranting man. "Actually sire, the blacksmiths had no clue what was happening with their work. What is happening is called the pre-watershed effect."
Uther was not convinced. "Pre-watershed. And what exactly is that Gaius."
The healer visibly drew himself up into lecture mode, something the king was very familiar with. "Simply Sire, the pre-watershed effect happens when there is an increase in families. It causes metal to repel blood and have healing effects so wounds close after death. The effect occurs to protect the innocence of the young ones. After the great purge, more children were born in Camelot and more families moved here so it is only natural that it started to occur here. It was first noted by lord Ofcom over 300 years ago sire."
Uther sighed annoyed. He was secretly enjoying the executions. There was noting like a good old witch burning in his opinion. "Guards. Release Peter the Smith from the dungeons and dismantle the pyre. And let it be known that there is no need for panic and it is completely normal for blades to remain clean after battle."
With that the king dismissed the court and turned to stare at the window. Now that was one issue dealt with, how was he going to help Vivienne convince Gorlois that the child she was carrying was his and not Uther's?
