Summary:
She had been breaking so slowly, and the longer it went on, the more it hurt her. Until finally, everything just shattered in an instant, and now there's nothing left for her to hold on to.
"Sarah…" she croaks, her voice just above a whisper. "I'm so sorry," and that's all it takes for Sarah to start sobbing right then and there.
A/N:
In this story, Clementine is 13 and Sarah is 17, except for in the flashbacks, then they will be 11 and 15. Also, this is going to be a multi-chapter story!
Take me far away from here
1. We can't be kids anymore
Clementine eyes the concrete wall in front of her in silence. The various scribbled words that have been painted over time nearly cover the entire surface, and her mind only wonders about the different stories behind each one, and when they had all been made.
"We should write something," she says while continuing to stare forward, her tone level and nearly emotionless.
A familiar figure slowly steps into her peripheral vision, but Clementine doesn't turn her head when Sarah arrives by her side under the bridge.
"Why?" puzzles Sarah in a quiet voice, peering up at the large wall of graffiti before them. It towers high over their small figures, and the shadows from the bridge above shield them from the bright afternoon sun.
The messages appear in all different sizes and colors, and some of them had been written so frantically that it's difficult to decipher. There are so many names painted on the wall, and a few of them appear to have even been created with blood.
"Maybe someone else got lost, too," Clementine begins. "If they see it, then… they'll know we were here. Maybe they'll come looking for us." She recalls to that chaotic night only a week before, but the worst-case scenario still lingers at the back of her mind, and she struggles to believe her own optimistic words.
A while passes where neither of them say anything, and the two girls only continue to stare at the wall with exhausted eyes, pondering the idea.
"What should we say?" Sarah finally asks, breaking the silence.
"Just… something simple," responds Clementine, then her shoulders drop in disappointment as her eyes scan over the cluttered wall. "There's… not a lot of room left." She twists her mouth in thought, before bending down to obtain a small black rock by her feet. "Here, use this."
Sarah hesitantly takes the pebble, twisting it over in her fingers a few times as Clementine searches the ground for another one.
"Do you think they're still looking for us?" Sarah asks slowly after a moment, an anxious tone hidden behind her words.
Clementine rises to stand again with another small rock in hand, avoiding eye contact. "I don't know," she answers truthfully with sorrow suddenly flashing across her features. She scratches the pebble against the wall a few times, satisfied when it leaves faint black marks on the surface.
"Are—are we still looking for them?" Sarah hesitates as she watches Clementine intently, fearful of what her answer may be.
She doesn't respond for a while, and the younger girl's gaze only stares longingly into nothing. Clementine presses her lips together, suddenly realizing her own uncertainty about the subject, before finally speaking again. "I don't know, Sarah."
Uneasiness flows towards Sarah from the vague response, and she chooses not to ask any further questions after that, despite the handful of them that come to mind.
Their eyes glance over the entirety of the wall, searching for the largest blank area they can find within the cluster of scribbles. When they agree on a spot, Sarah and Clementine roughly scratch the rocks against the surface until the black streaks form words. Their lack of proper writing materials lengthens the process, and their hands begin to ache from having to apply so much pressure.
When they're done, Clementine dusts off her hands and the two of them step back to eye the final product. It turns out messier than they would have hoped since they nearly ran out of room at the bottom, and there's a visible difference in both the girls' combined handwriting.
They observe the wall with skepticism, and it's silent between them as they read over their composed message.
Kenny, Luke, Nick, Rebecca, Jane,
We're okay
-Clementine and Sarah
2 years later
Sarah grunts as she violently plunges her knife into the walker's skull, and blood splatters onto her face before the rotting corpse heavily collapses by her feet.
She stares down at it, breathing heavily and taking a step back, then the sound of more distant snarls reaches her ears once more.
When she raises her chin again, she spots another walker slowly stumbling towards her from in between two bushes, bony arms outstretched and teeth pathetically biting at the air.
Her grip tightens on the knifes handle, stabilizing her stance in preparation as it gradually approaches her.
She doesn't move, but she waits until just before it reaches her, then aggressively kicks her boot into it's knee before it can claw at her. The walker tumbles to the ground, falling forward, and Sarah doesn't hesitate in jamming her weapon into the back of its head while it's down.
The body goes limp and all is quiet again. After a moment, she scans her surroundings to be sure there are no others coming.
All her eyes are met with is countless rustling trees the color of autumn, and the leaves that litter the forest's floor crunch under her boots when she moves. That should be all of them. For now, at least.
It's almost evening, and the bright afternoon sun is only beginning to hide underneath the horizon, but the heat still eats away at her as she quietly continues her path through the forest.
When she reaches her destination after a while, Sarah's shoulders instantly fall in disappointment, and she sighs to herself when she observes the scene before her.
The net had been set off, but all that lies crumbled within it is a helpless decaying walker that claws at her through the ropes, completely suspended in the air.
She stares up at the miserable sight, and the trapped walker only continues to snarl at her with rising volume, as if it can reach her. It isn't anything near what she had hoped to catch, and it wouldn't be the first time this has happened either.
There aren't many animals left, and she begins to wonder whether this was all a waste of time. It only seems to her like the walker activity increases by the day. Still, that could just be her losing hope. It's hard to tell anymore.
Calmly, Sarah approaches until the walker's flailing arms nearly reach her. Its clawing hands are now inches away, but she doesn't react to it, or even look in it's direction.
She slices her knife into the side of the large tree trunk, swiftly cutting the rope that attaches to the branch above.
The net falls to the ground in an instant, as well as the heavy walker suspended within it. The leaves rustle from the impact, and clouds of dirt rise from the ground.
Laying in a heap before her, with the ropes tangled around its helpless body, the walker only growls louder as Sarah stares down at it, her expression emotionless.
With one last glare at its rotting face, she impales her weapon into its head and the sound of its groans finally end.
She stands there for a while, and it's completely silent around her. All she does is just observe the mangled corpse before her, and she doesn't know what she feels anymore.
Two years ago, she would have felt something. Fear, probably. The dead wasn't something she had been used to. And now, she's seen so much of it - so much of everything, it's just normal to her now. And she realizes that it's never going to get any easier.
Sarah is jolted out of her thoughts when she hears branches snapping and leaves rustling from somewhere behind her, and she quickly whips around with her knife cautiously held out in front her.
"It's just me!" exclaims a familiar voice, and Sarah instantly lowers her weapon at the sight of that purple baseball cap emerging from the bushes.
"Sorry…" Sarah awkwardly apologizes after a moment, her tense muscles able to relax.
Clementine cautiously steps over a log and treads through the shrubbery until she reaches the clearing where Sarah stands.
It isn't until Sarah removes her glasses to clean them on her plaid shirt that Clementine notices the red splatter on the young woman's face. It's only a little bit of blood, but some had gotten in her hair as well, and her two messy braids have various strands that fall out of them and hang in front of her eyes. She doesn't bother asking about her disheveled appearance, though, already assuming what had happened.
"Find anything?" Clementine chirps casually while sauntering over, but she freezes in her tracks when she notices the dead walker at Sarah's feet. "…Oh," she says.
Sarah chuckles softly while putting her glasses back on, pushing them up on the bridge of her nose. "Not exactly what we had in mind," she responds, smirking. "What about you?"
Clementine shakes her head in response while glancing down at the net again, and Sarah had figured as much judging by her empty hands.
They had set up a few different traps littered throughout the forest in hopes of catching at least some kind of animal to eat, and they haven't caught anything in about a week. Still, they have no other choice. They have to keep trying. So, Sarah had opted to check this one while Clementine checked the others.
The two of them don't have much food left, and all they seem to be catching anymore are clumsy walkers that manage to step in the wrong place. But if they're honest, they would have been surprised if they didn't find at least one of them today.
Pursing her lips in thought, Clementine bends down towards the dead walker after a moment. "Come on. Let's set this one back up."
They untangle the net around the corpse without another word, and the process of burying it back within the leaves and tying the ropes over again takes longer than they would have hoped.
When they're finished, Clementine brushes the stray curls away from her eyes before finally breaking the silence between them. "Sun's already going down," she says softly, observing their surroundings with her hands on her hips. "We should head back."
Sarah squints in the direction of the blinding sun, and the orange light casts a warm glow on both their faces. "Yeah," she sighs tiredly.
She can tell by the look on her face how disappointed Sarah feels, so Clementine grins gently at her in an attempt to lift the girl's spirits, and her hand momentarily reaches out to stroke Sarah's arm before they start walking.
They don't say much after that as they tread through the woods at a slow pace, and all that can be heard is an occasional twig snapping and leaves crunching underneath their shoes. They're both starving, but neither of them choose to say anything about it. It wouldn't help.
Their trip today had turned out to be pointless, but they both know they're going to have to do the same thing over again tomorrow if there's even a chance they'll find something to eat.
"Wait," Sarah suddenly whispers in a harsh tone while coming to an abrupt halt.
Clementine freezes at the sound of her voice and instantly begins scanning their surroundings with caution for anything unusual, but she doesn't speak in case there's danger nearby.
"Look," Sarah extends her arm to point upwards, and Clementine's gaze follows her finger.
There's a crow perched on the branch of a tree a short distance away, and it's constantly twitching its head to the side in observation, completely oblivious to the two girls' presence.
With the hope that they've found something for dinner tonight, Sarah frantically pulls the pistol out of her holster and aims it at the bird, but Clementine is quick to lower it before she can pull the trigger. "Don't," she protests quietly so as not to startle the animal nearby.
"Right," Sarah responds in a hushed tone, "Sorry." She's so hungry that she forgot how much noise she would have just caused right then, and Clementine takes her hand off the pistol when Sarah lowers her arms.
Clementine curiously eyes the bird for a moment. They can't shoot it, but if they get any closer it's sure to notice them and fly away. Momentarily bending down to the ground with an idea in mind, she obtains a large stone by her feet and extends her arm out towards Sarah. "Use this."
"What?" she blurts in disbelief. "You want me to throw a rock at it?"
"You were gonna shoot it," shrugs Clementine as if the answer is obvious, clearly feeling no emotion towards the subject. "What's the difference?"
Sarah ponders her question for a moment, observing the rock in the younger girl's hand. "I don't know, it just seems so… cruel," she grimaces. "At least with a bullet it wouldn't feel anything."
"It won't feel anything with a rock either," Clementine points out, chuckling softly at her ridiculous statement.
"Why don't you do it?" asks Sarah, taking a step back as if she's afraid of the object.
"I could…" she says, raising the pitch of her voice. "But, you're gonna have to do things like this sooner or later, Sarah."
Normally Clementine is the one that does all the hunting, and skinning of the animals for that matter, but as much as she hates to admit it, one day she might not be here, and Sarah will have to know how to do these things for herself whether she wants to or not. It's just the way it is now.
"Consider this another lesson," grins Clementine in an uplifting tone, referring to all the shooting practices they've had in the past.
Sarah stares down at the stone once more, chewing on her bottom lip in debate.
"It's fine, it's just like shooting a gun," she encourages, gently taking Sarah's hand and placing the rock in her palm. Clementine gazes up at the bird once more. She leans into her and grips the older girl's shoulders while standing beside her, and Sarah reluctantly follows her gaze. "Just… take a breath, aim, and fire."
She's killed a few animals with her gun before, but never like this. Still, a part of her knows they have to eat, and things like these should be easy for her by now.
Sarah takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly before eyeing her target with determination.
A part of Clementine does think she should do it herself, but she also doesn't want to give her the impression that she doesn't think Sarah is capable. So, Clementine steps away, and waits patiently for her to act. She glances to Sarah in silence, who draws her arm back in preparation after a few suspenseful moments.
The stone launches ahead, and they both watch it soar in anticipation, before the crow shrieks loudly and its large black wings start to flap frantically from its spot on the branch. It flies away when the rock collides with the tree trunk next to it, and the repeated sound of its screeching caws gradually fades away as the animal takes off in the opposite direction.
Wincing, Clementine slowly turns to face Sarah, who is only staring after it with a baffled expression, her jaw hanging low. She doesn't say anything from the fear of upsetting her, so Clementine waits until the other girl breaks the silence.
"Well," Sarah says after a while, still staring forward. "There goes our dinner."
Clementine can't help the soft chuckle that escapes her from the girl's reaction, but she quickly presses her lips together when Sarah only glares at her in response, completely serious.
"It's fine. Really," Clementine scrambles to assure her when she suddenly notices the glum look on Sarah's face. Despite the sliver of disappointment she feels inside, she attempts to sound as uplifting as possible.
Sarah knows she's only saying that to make her feel better, and even more guilt floods towards her just from hearing Clementine's words. "I'm sorry," she apologizes with hurt in her tone. "I told you, you should have done it."
"No, no, it's okay," she interjects frantically, suddenly afraid the other girl might start to cry. "It's just a bird. Really, it's no big deal."
Exhaling, Sarah continues to stare after the tree where the animal had been just a minute earlier, remaining completely unresponsive.
"You can't get better if you don't practice, right?" asks Clementine delicately, stepping towards her.
"I guess so," she mumbles, shrugging while looking down at her own intertwined hands.
Sarah refuses to make eye contact, and a part of Clementine regrets making her do it in the first place if it meant she would be this upset. After a moment, she gestures a hand out towards her. "Come on," Clementine mumbles with a soft smile, "Let's go home."
They continue their path in silence, and she notices Sarah staring down at her shoes in shame the whole time. She's unsure of what else to say to make her feel better, so she decides not to say anything at all.
Eventually, they hike to the top of the familiar grassy hill at the edge of the forest, and the setting sun casts down on them when they emerge from the woods.
In the distance, the various rows of houses finally meet their eyes, and they both find solace in the sight of it after such a long day. Sarah and Clementine vault over the wooden fence that separates the forest from the neighbourhood ahead of them, and they walk alongside each other towards the house at the end of the block.
