Hello everyone!

So, I know, many of you probably expected an "A Universe Is Trapped Inside A Tear" update but unfortunately not. The chapter is still in the hands of my Beta.

Buuuuut I wanted to post you a little something and this story was nagging me for a little time now. It is not much but I hope that you will like it.

Important thing : IT HAS NOT BEEN BETA'D & had been written Thursday on a train before a Muse gig so my apologize for each and every mistakes... I hope it won't be too horrible...

Oh and I realised that this could be sort of an almost-prequel of "For Lancelot" if you remember it :)

Onwards!


What could have been

Gaius was finishing cleaning the Infirmary that had held the corpses of the Dorocha's victims when he heard a servant running the corridor, announcing with a huge grin to everyone that listened:

"Prince Arthur has come back! Prince Arthur has come back!"

Despite the happy news the Servant was telling, Gaius couldn't bring himself to smile. He would have been stupid not to entertain the idea of Arthur coming back alive but he also knew what this meant for Merlin.

Since the Dorocha had disappeared three days prior, Gaius had tried to prepare himself for that news. He knew the cost of the disappearing of the evil spirits would be death and he knew his ward well enough to know the boy wouldn't let anyone sacrifice themselves but him.

He sighted and folded the last linen he held before going out of the room, his shoulders hunched with the grief he could feel settling heavily right next to his heart.

People always say you only know the valor of what you lose once you've lost it and Gaius realized once again how true it was. It wasn't that he didn't knew before how much he loved Merlin like a son but he noticed only know just how much importance his Ward's presence in his live had.

He felt it even more when he entered his quiet and despairingly empty Chambers, knowing that Merlin would never be there again to keep him company or help him.

At this moment, Gaius felt older than ever before. He forced back the tears that welled up in his eyes and sat himself at the table, his back to the door. He knew that as soon as the Prince would set foot in the Courtyard he would come here to announce him the news. He sighted again and felt his eyes being drawned to the door of Merlin's room. He remembered all the times his Ward had came out of it and almost smiled before a question struck him: how was he going to tell Hunith that her only son was dead? He couldn't do it, yet he felt he had no choice. Merlin had been his responsibility. Hunith had trusted him with her son's wellbeing and he had failed her.

He closed his eyes when he heard the door open, trying in vain to brace himself for what was to come. However, he felt himself go numb with shock when it wasn't Arthur's voice that called his named but Merlin's. He turned back to face the door far too quickly for a man of his age but couldn't care less and found himself staring at Merlin's grim face.

"Merlin!" He breathed, going up and nearly running towards the young man to engulf him in a tight hug.

This time, Gaius couldn't stop the relieved tears to fall from his eyes and he squeezed Merlin tighter against him, enjoying the fact that his ward was alive and physically all right, if not exhausted looking.

He felt Merlin return his hug after a few minutes and Gaius was surprised when he felt the young man tremble in his arms, restraining sobs.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked worriedly while taking a step back to observe him.

"He's… He's dead Gaius…" The Warlock began through his sobs. " I… I couldn't do anything to stop him… I tried… But he just smiled Gaius…"

"Oh Merlin, it's not your fault!" Gaius tried to console Merlin, even if he didn't know which Knight had sacrificed himself.

"But it is Gaius…" Merlin insisted, almost angrily as he tried to control his sobs, without succeeding. "It's not fair!"

Gaius wrapped his arms around Merlin once more and led him towards the bed near the fire.

"I know it's not fair my boy, I know…" He told Merlin but, in all honesty, he was glad it was a Knight and not the Warlock that had died, even if a death was never acceptable. He didn't told Merlin that and just kept his arms around the young man while he sobbed against him.


It was a long time after that before Gaius felt Merlin sag against him and he understood that the Warlock had exhausted himself to sleep. Gaius shook his head fondly and slowly maneuvered Merlin until he was lying down on the cot and covered him with a blanket. The Physician suddenly noticed how much younger Merlin looked while asleep when the burden of destiny wasn't weighting on his shoulders. Gaius couldn't stop himself from slowly caressing his ward's dark hair before going back to his working table where a book was waiting him.

Only a few minutes later, Gaius was disturbed by a knock at the door. He went to it and opened it carefully in order to avoid waking too much noise and waking Merlin. He was surprised to find Arthur on the other side, looking anxious, sad and tired in equal measures.

"Sire," Gaius said in a low voice. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, I'm here to see Merlin… He… He seemed pretty upset on the way back and…"

Gaius nodded, feeling proud of the Prince for such a gesture and let him in.

"That's very kind of you Arthur but I'm afraid you can't talk with Merlin right now." The Physician answered, gesturing to the cot where the sleeping form of Merlin could be seen.

"Oh… I see..." Arthur hesitated, looking uncomfortable. "I'm glad he's finally sleeping. I don't think he had much lately…"

"Indeed… Can I ask you a question Arthur?" Gaius asked after a moment of contemplative silence during which they both remembered the fear of the nights with the cries of the Dorocha's haunting the halls of the Castle.

"Of course Gaius."

"Who sacrificed their life to close the Veil?"

Arthur's shoulders sagged a little and he sighted before answering softly.

"Lancelot… Lancelot did. He knocked me down as I was advancing towards it and…. When I woke up he was gone… The Veil with him… Merlin had been the only witness of it…"

Arthur concluded, his gaze shifting towards his friends form, remembering the horrible grief he had seen in him before Merlin had hidden it behind a blank mask.

Gaius suddenly understood why Merlin had been so upset. Lancelot had always been one of Merlin's best friends and the only one to know of his magic. Gaius felt a pang of grief as he thought of how lonely Merlin must have felt. It was so cruel for the young man to finally have a friend with whom he could share everything and who accepted him only to have him snatched away like that.

He must have lost himself in his thoughts because Arthur put a hand on his arm.

"I've disturbed you enough." The Prince said. "I have things to attend to. Take care of Merlin and tell him he can take the day off tomorrow."

"Thank you Sire."

Arthur nodded and got out of the room as Gaius went again towards his cot.

"Oh my boy…" He said sadly while putting a comforting hand on his fringe. "I'm so sorry."


So... How did it go? I'm dying to hear what you think!

(Oh and, maybe, MAYBE (& if I get any prompts) this story COULD turn in a sort of a one shorts collection.