*I DO NOT OWN BONES OR SCRUBS!!!*

"Bones, c'mon. This should be fun!" Booth said, handing Brennan a cup of coffee.

"I don't know…" she said. "Going to Sacred Heart Hospital? Staying at the Chief of Medicine's home?"

"Think of it as a hotel."

"Booth, no."

"Cuh-MON!" he pouted. Brennan rolled her eyes. "Dr. Bob Kelso is being generous here, Bones."

"Kelso?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"That name sounds familiar."

"When you see him, you can ask!" Booth flashed a charm smile.

"Fine." Brennan grabbed the coffee and headed toward the elevator.

"So Turk, did you hear?" The Todd said to his fellow surgeon.

"Did I hear what?"

"The hottest forensic anthropologist is coming! I can't wait to touch her-"

"Todd!" Elliot interrupted. "Me and her were good friends in med school. Don't be all pervy when she's here." And then both of the surgeon's beepers went off and they rushed to the OR, leaving Elliot standing there, alone.

"Barbie!" Dr. Cox dragged JD over. "Tell Maggie here that the whole investigating a dead person is not all that fun and that whoever comes to look at it will be some boring, lifeless, idiot just like Bobbo over there, who is staring blanklessly at his boring muffin."

"Actually Dr. Cox," Elliot stood up to Dr. Cox. "I know Dr. Brennan; I went to med school with her."

"Yes!" JD punched the air. "So who do you think the dead guy is?"

"Oh, God…" Dr. Cox put his hands on his head and looked toward the front doors. "They're here." Booth and Brennan came walking in. Booth look excited, while Brennan looked confused. She was still thinking of Kelso. The minute they entered the area, Dr. Kelso looked up from his muffin and stared at Brennan.

"Are you Dr. Robert Kelso?" Booth flashed his badge at Dr. Cox.

"Hell no," he said and walked away.

"Elliot Reid?" Brennan said.

"Temperance Brennan!" Elliot gave her old time friend a hug. "How are you? Who is this nice piece of meat?" she asked pointing at Booth.

"Elliot, meet my partner, Agent Seeley Booth."

"Special Agent Seeley Booth." he shook her hand.

"Oh I get it." Elliot winked.

"Bones and I are not-"

"We are completely platonic." Brennan laughed.

"Good," Elliot said, staring at Booth.

"Why is that good?" Brennan asked.

"Because he's so hott!" JD chimed in, and then cleared his throat. "My name is Dr. John Dorian. You can call me JD."

"Great, so where's the Chief of Medicine?" Booth asked.

"JD, are you homosexual?" Brennan said.

"No. Me and Elliot are-"

"JD, shut up! Can't you tell that Booth is hotter than you?" Elliot shrieked.

"That hurt, Dr. Reid. I am going to punish you later," JD walked away smiling.

"So… Chief of Medicine?" Booth shrugged.

"Dr. Bob Kelso! Not nice to meet you!" he stood up and glared at Brennan. "Hello Temperance. Your stay at my apartment with my divorced wife out of the picture should be a blast!"

"Robert," she clenched.

"Bones, you know him?"

"He was one of my Foster parents. He's the one that-"

"Locked her in the trunk," Kelso smiled.

"You did that?" Booth clenched too.

"What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?" Kelso pointed his thumbs to himself and walked away.

"We can't stay with him now!" Booth dragged Brennan to Elliot. "Hey, hottiot- Elliot!"

"Yes, Special Seeley?" she stroked his arm.

"Can we stay with you during the investigation?" Brennan came straight forward and asked. "We understand that-"

"No! That's perfectly fine with me. Just check with JD." She winked and strutted away.

"Dr. Dorian?" Brennan raised her head while examining the remains of the hospital's lawyer, Ted.

"Yes?" JD sounded masculine. "Elliot told me about your request…"

"Oh, that," Brennan snapped off her gloves. "I was going to tell you that this is not a murder. It's suicide."

"Aww, poor guy."

"Did you know him?"

"Yeah. He seemed sad."

"Well, there is no murder so Booth and I can go home. The next flight is tomorrow morning at 8."

"Oh." JD frowned.

"However, we do need a place to stay tonight. And a ride to the airport."

"Oh! Yay!" JD danced around the morgue.

"Yay." Brennan whispered to herself and smiled.

"You just have to bring toilet paper, each guest."

"Bones, I just think it's polite to say goodbye to Elliot." Booth said, standing at the door.

"And JD," she added. "Even if we don't need a ride to the airport." Booth giggled.

"You like him."

"Well…" Bones said, thinking of a good comeback. "You like her."

"Good one, Bones." Booth said and the door swung open.

"Agent Booth," JD said. "Bones!"

"Hi, JD" she smiled.

"What the hell!? You let him call you 'Bones'?"

"I let you call me 'Bones', Booth!"

"Yeah, after 4 years," Booth muttered and walked in, looking for Elliot.

"Hottiot- Elliot!"

"Special Seeley!" Elliot came out in a black teddy.

"So, Bones, do you want to meet Roudy?" JD asked, shoving the stuffed dead dog in her face. Before she could ask any questions, Booth and Elliot were kissing against the bathroom door.

"Not really. He gives off an unusual odor."

"Oh." JD said sadly and put him down.

"I'd rather make out."

"Oh!" JD exclaimed and kissed Brennan.

Elliot and Booth. JD and Brennan. All throughout the night.

"You slept with him?" Carla said to Elliot the next morning.

"Yup," Elliot smiled.

"And, Bambie?"

"I slept with Dr. Brennan!" JD said proudly.

"Nice, dude!" Turk hugged him.

"Who's better five!" The Todd walked by and held up his hand.

"Huh?" Elliot and JD said simultaneously.

"He means between each other, or the investigators." Carla rolled her eyes and left to change an old guy's diaper.

"Oh, definitely…" JD mumbled something that sounded like the word "Elliot".

"Who?" Elliot put her hands on her hips. "Me? Because you were a million times better than Booth."

"At being a girl," Dr. Cox said as he walked by. Elliot and JD smiled and kissed each other, stumbling toward an empty room.

"So how was the girly homo?" Booth asked Brennan on the plane.

"JD is not homosexual… and he definitely has a penis," she smiled.

"Ew."

"Oh, I apologize. I forgot to ask you about the neurotic slut!"

"What, Bones. Are you jealous?"

"No, Booth. I am not jealous!" she folded her arms. "Are you?"

"Nope."

"I feel like we're competing." Brennan said after a few minutes of silence.

"For what?" Booth looked at her. "Who's better in bed?"

"Yes."

"So, who is?" Booth wondered.

"I don't know, Booth."

"You don't have all the evidence!" Booth nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Exactly. We need to finish the experiment."

"How?"

"C'mon. I'll show you." she stood up and dragged Booth to the plane's bathroom.

By the time the plane landed, the partner's deduced that their affairs the night before did not win the competition.

LESSONS: -never let The Todd be in the same room with Brennan

never try to wash Kelso's plates with hot water

the person you are better friends with will always be your winner

don't let Booth get a dead dog and stuff it. bones won't like it

don't let Kelso be a jerk to any new lawyers. booth and bones will not be happy having to go back to sacred heart hospital….