Hope

A TID One-shot by ChronicLegCramp-Since'99

Pairing: Jessa

*Disclaimer: The Infernal Devices and all its characters belong to Cassandra Clare, respectively*


James Carstairs stood in the moonlight filtering through the open window, which he did most- if not every- night. His silver hair that curled round his ears and at the back of his neck was washed out further, so that it blended with his delicate, pale skin, only outlined by the shadow of his lightless room. The violin, which had been played with both love and in fits of passion over the years, was propped under his chin; the bow drew elegantly across the strings. Jem's colourless, expressive eyes were closed, his lashes fluttering every so often with the sudden changes in the intensity of the music. His slight, rune-engraved chest was bare, as were his feet, but he wore the simple charcoal coloured slacks he slept in, on his legs.

He sensed her the moment she slipped soundlessly, through his door.

"Tessa,"

"I'm sorry to intrude- I couldn't sleep and I heard your music…" she wasn't quite whispering, but he paused in his playing nonetheless, and turned to face her; a smile had already graced his face. Tessa's masses of dark hair fell hectically around her face, as if she had been tossing and turning in bed, and her large grey eyes- though tired- seemed as luminous as ever. She was in her usual slightly transparent, white cotton night dress, which reached her ankles; Jem felt himself blush.

"It's quite alright. I couldn't sleep myself, so it is nice for the company."

"What were you playing? It was so beautiful…as is all your music," Tessa said softly, a light pink blossoming on her cheeks. She was still standing by the door uncertain, as if this was the first time she had ever entered his bedroom, invited or not.

"It is called: Where Dreams Are Made. I could play for you another, if you'd like…" Jem spoke unusually shyly, but with a sort of hope in the depths of his eyes, that wasn't especially due to his wish to play for her. Tessa smiled warmly, taking a seat on the trunk at the foot of his bed.

"Will you sit with me?" Jem crossed the room immediately, joining her on the trunk. Once he'd set his violin down, Tessa placed her hand on his, brushing the inside of his wrist with her thumb, feeling the pulse beneath the vulnerable stretch of skin. He gave her a knowing look out of the corner of his eye but said nothing. "You have taken your medicine, recently."

"An hour ago." Jem nodded once before flipping his hand over so that he could entwine his fingers with hers. "I hope you have not been losing sleep over me," he said very gently, catching her gaze. There was a moment of silent communication between them; he could not ask her, nor expect her to stop worrying about him- they were to be married after all.

"Jem, may I stay here with you tonight…?" Tessa asked timidly, startling him briefly. "I know it is improper of me to ask, let alone…but it's just- I know that with you, I shall have a sleep free of nightmares," the silver haired boy squeezed the dark haired girls hand.

"If that is the case…alright." he agreed reluctantly, more doubtful of his own self restraint.

"Thank you," Tessa pressed an affectionate kiss to her fiancés cheek, though she hesitated, not pulling back as she should have. Jem froze, seemingly torn between propriety and desire. Fortunately for Tessa, his lust won out. His lips collided with hers, hands coming up to entangle within her hair, pulling her closer. She responded appreciatively, parting her lips to better deepen the kiss. Jem moaned, his mouth vibrating against hers, turning her muscles to jelly and unknowingly driving thoughts of a certain other Shadowhunter from her mind. The next thing Jem registered, they were lying on his bed, the quilt hanging down on one side and Tessa trapped effectively, within his embrace. His breathing was ragged and his fiancé was gasping softly under him.

The orphan from Shanghai had thought it would be enough for the next day, but already he felt his body exhausting itself. Jem's arms eventually collapsed on either side of Tessa, where they'd been propping him up; his body would have crushed down on her, if it hadn't been so fragile and weightless. She let out a noise of exclamation, but her arms came protectively around him.

"Jem?" his face and body were mildly feverish now, and he weakly pulled himself off her, rolling onto his back. Tessa rose, not bothering to smooth her night dress back down over her thighs, where it had ridden up, on seeing Jems current state.

"I'm afraid…I am not as energetic as I was…in my youth," he joked, though he wore a serene expression.

"It's my fault- I have tired you out," Tessa started fretting, looking around for his medicinal stash.

"I am perfectly capable of…keeping up with you, Tessa," Jem breathed, a tad indignant, but his eyes were playful- or as playful as they could be under the circumstances. "Don't worry. I just need a little more, that is all."

"Really Jem, sometimes I wish you would take your illness a little more seriously." Tessa replied, stroking his hair back from his forehead, noting that he was burning up more and more.

"I will, only when I am on my deathbed. And I grow nearer and nearer to…never seeing you again." he spoke so tenderly that Tessa blushed, her heart leaping into her throat. However, she had no time to respond to this declaration as Jem's breathing became increasingly more laboured and his eyelids slid closed. His body began to spasm as he was struck with a harsh cough; he wiped an arm over his mouth, not having to look to know blood came away on it.

"Jem! Hold on, I will fetch the powder-" she began, but Jem cut her off.

"No! No, Tessa. You cannot go anywhere near it- I don't want you harmed." His fingers encircled her wrist, firm but gentle. "Okay? I shall see you in the morning," Predictably, she started to protest.

"You promised I could stay with you tonight," she placed a hand on his chest, when he closed his eyes once more.

"Tessa, please…" Jem rasped, grimacing slightly.

"I shall return to my room for now, but when I still cannot sleep, I shall be back." She stated stubbornly. Her fiancé shot her a side-long look but nodded, knowing that she wouldn't change her mind.

Once the door had clicked shut, Jem crawled to the edge of his bed, reaching for the drug that was slowly killing him. He administered the powder, both disgusted and relieved, as it gradually took effect. He lay on his bed in a haze, which was as familiar to him as his musician's fingers. His vision sharpened just as he felt his muscles regain their strength, but he couldn't feel completely grateful to the god forsaken 'medicine'.

Jem eventually, ran his hands through his silver locks twice before swinging his legs over the side. Getting to his feet cautiously, he coughed again but continued to the door. Looking once, up and down the hallway, Jem ghosted across to Tessa's bedchamber and entered it. He closed the door soundlessly behind him and approached her. Tessa sat on the bed, fingering the page of a book. On noticing Jem, she gave a start and hastily placed it on her bedside table, front-side down, obscured by the wooden surface. Jem gave her a questioning look but simply tucked her in, under the duvet, before joining her on the other side.

"How are you feeling?" she murmured, curling against him and laying her head on his chest.

"Better, now. Thank you," he kissed the top of her head, winding his arm around her waist.

"Good." She breathed, taking up tracing her left index finger along the runes that ran across his collarbone; Jem hummed in content. He closed his eyes, focusing on the rhythm of her heart, as it beat against his ribs. "Jem?"

"Mhm?"

"I love you. You do know that, don't you?" she sounded almost grim, which surprised the person in question, but he didn't think on it.

"As I love you," he replied softly, against her hair before lifting her face to peck her once on the lips. "Now, goodnight, Tessa," she laughed quietly, letting her eyelids fall shut and cuddled closer to her fiancé.

"Goodnight, James,"


Hope you enjoyed! :)

Note: Where Dreams Are Made is by John Williams, written for the A.I. soundtrack- I know thats a continuity error since it was written in 2001, but the image of Jem playing a violin arrangement of it, was just...exquisite. (I wish he was real just so that he could play that for me...well play anything for me, really) ;)