This was written in response to 101 things I Love About Arthur Kirkland by Hetaliatomalia. So the original idea was hers. You should totally go read that one; it's great!
I do not own Hetalia or Gakuen Hetalia.
Dear Alfred,
I apologize for replying to you so late. For the record, it was quite obvious that you were the one who wrote this. I must admit, however, that a good few things you said put me on edge (for example, what you said about gym class). Also, I'd like to add that I do not read porn. I honestly only read classic literature and other books. Lastly, while I'm still thinking about it... Thank you for the sympathy about Francis. It was very kind of you.
Anyroad, the letter was certainly a valiant attempt at winning me over. I can tell that you put a lot of effort into it. However, I'd rather not decide whether or not to go out with you based on a letter alone. Perhaps we could spend some time together at a cafe or something first?
Either way, I have made a list similar to yours. I hope that you find it to be as eloquent as you expected it.
101 things I like about Alfred F. Jones
1- I like the way your cowlick stands up; it seems almost whimsical.
2- I like how you're always smiling. It's contagious; though I may not smile back, it lifts my spirits to see someone so optimistic.
3- I admire how persistent you are; I have never seen you give up.
4- Speaking of which, aside from wondering where this will lead to, your persistence is another reason that I decided to give this a go, if not to humor you.
5- Though I originally found it to be annoying, I have grown to like your laugh.
6- You are quite athletically skilled, and I envy that of you, but can't help liking it.
7- You are incredibly confident.
8- It comes across as egotistical at times, but I don't think you mean it.
9- You appear to have a God-complex, but I think you mean well.
10- In fact, I think you are genuinely a nice person.
11- No one gives you much credit, but you are good at sciences and arithmetic, even if you aren't very good at english.
12- For the record, I wouldn't say no if you wanted any help in english.
13- You are extremely patriotic. It usually annoys me to Hell and back, but sometimes it can be rather charming.
14- You sing The Star Spangled Banner surprisingly well, by the way.
15- Seriously; that song is very difficult to sing, but you're pretty damn good at it.
16- You always seem to know what the latest clothing fad is.
17- And the newest pop culture fads.
18- Basically, you just keep up with what's new and exciting.
19- You at least try to understand what the fuck I'm talking about.
20- You get embarrassed easily, though you try to hide it.
21- It's okay that you try to hide your embarrassment. I'll probably regret saying this because I'll most likely be tackle-hugged, but it's almost cute.
22- You lend people your umbrella when it rains; I saw you let Kiku borrow yours.
23- Speaking of rain, in your 27th reason, there is actually a word for the scent of rain; it's "petrichor".
24- Though I believe in magic and you believe in extraterrestrials, you believe in the impossible like I do.
25- I never said life on other planets didn't exist, but it's improbable. Maybe you'll be the one to discover it?
26- You like Harry Potter books, don't you? If so, it seems we have some common ground.
27- Come to think of it, you pretend to hate it, but you seem to enjoy reading a lot, don't you?
28- Your hair is the exact colour of wheat. I know that sounds like a strange compliment, but it's really a lovely colour.
29- You're also tall. Again, a strange compliment, but it's just... Holy fuck. I don't know why, but I sort of like that about you.
30- You're optimistic, and are able to find the good in everything, even a bitter person like myself. I appreciate that...
31- You have a good sense of humor.
32- Although, your sense of humor can be a bit crude at times. Then again, mine can be as well.
33- You never let anything get in your way. If it does, I can't tell.
34- If something is ever wrong, you always let people talk to you about it.
35- You are usually willing to try new things.
36- You never seem to run out of energy.
37- When it comes to your interests, you are quite dedicated.
38- You love movies, and will watch anything from Disney to horror, and I find that charming.
39- I also find it amusing that you make someone watch horror movies with you every time.
40- You are good at starting conversations.
41- You try to help, even when help is not needed. Which can be annoying, but in some cases, is helpful.
42- You are kind to children; they seem to like you on instinct, and I have seen you play with them at the park.
43- I know you probably despise my cooking, but you at least have the decency to try it.
44- I am incredibly sorry about those scones, by the way. Next time, I'll simply buy them.
45- Your eyes are absolutely stunning. It's a shame you wear glasses.
46- On second thought... Keep wearing them. No one else has to know.
47- For some reason, you don't act your age. Yet surprisingly, it fits your personality.
48- Speaking of age... Your birthday makes me sad, for some reason. I suppose it's because of that argument a few years ago? Either way, I'm sorry about that, as well.
49- You travel a lot, and have interesting stories to tell, even from a small U.S. State like Rhode Island. (No offense to Rhode Island, of course)
50- You constantly call me "dude" or "bro". Something that used to annoy me, but again, I've grown to like.
51- A little over halfway done. This is taking longer than I had expected. Oh, well... Back to work.
52- You know lots of useless information. Useless, yet interesting.
53- You went through a disco phase once, I think, and it was quite the scene. I kind of thought it was funny, and it made me feel less insecure about my punk phase.
54- Fuck! Now you know I had a punk phase... It was a little while before I met you, by the way.
55- Hm... About your smile, again. It's warm, like the weather in your country. Which is extremely warm by the way. I suppose you're right; England is much colder.
56- In fact, your entire personality is warm and welcoming in a way.
57- By the way, referring to your comment about my "mad forecasting skills", I use divination and a sailor's trick.
58- Back on track... You are easily distracted (And so am I, it seems). But again, it's both annoying and charming when you do it.
59- You're always wearing that bomber jacket. When I see one, it reminds me of you.
60- And you always somehow mange to wear your pants over your boots. How does one do that?
61- And they're cowboy boots, too. You seem to like the west, don't you?
62- Basically what I'm trying to say is that your style is made of things that shouldn't go together, but you manage to pull it off well.
63- Extremely well.
64- Damn; I keep getting off topic; sorry. I don't think I did too much of it, but I should probably stop cursing, too...
65- I like that there's no one you hate; you have people that you don't get along with, but you don't despise them.
66- You also are very accepting of cultures; I think I've seen you listen to every genre of music in existence.
67- I like your guitar skills. I play bass guitar, actually. If you ever want to have a jam session, you know where to find me.
68- You have a kind of cutesy drawing style; a bit like Charles Shultz.
69- I like the way you try to do something stupid, and it backfires. It sounds a bit rude, I know, but you always have the best reactions.
70- I just noticed the number before this. Am I the only one who doesn't make jokes about 69? Anyroad, it is a little bit funny when you make dirty jokes. Just a bit.
71- And hold your horses about sexual offers. We aren't together yet.
72- It's rather amusing how you can turn any situation into some sort of party.
73- You do throw nice parties, by the way. I'm simply a bit of a wallflower when it comes to things like that.
74- I like how you get all flustered when you make a mistake.
75- And you also get all excited when you hear about new movies. I bet you've seen literally almost every one.
76- You put aside your emotions to help others.
77- Alright, so maybe you aren't as conceited as I say you are sometimes... I'm sorry...
78- You say whatever first comes to mind. It's interesting to know what you are thinking.
79- Going back to when I said you're athletic; you are also quite strong.
80- You are adventurous; like James Bond, or Indiana Jones.
81- Well, that's a coincidence; you share the same last name.
82- You were a chainsaw murderer for halloween last year, yes? It was very realistic, but over all, stunning.
83- Not that I care how stunning it looked...
84- You put up with all my magic things on halloween, too. Thanks for that.
85- You still read comic books, which I find interesting. And you read the old ones, too. A bit nostalgic, are we?
86- You can go from being rugged to sophisticated in a snap.
87- You are a natural born leader.
88- You never just admit to something; it always involves a long story.
89- You pretend to not pay attention when I know that you really are.
90- I admire your sense of justice and righteousness.
91- I like how you're a good sport, and though you get upset about losing, you are able to get over it.
92- You are not nearly as prejudiced as I am.
93- You seem to be able to see through my facade sometimes. And that is both frightening and comforting.
94- Bloody hell; now I'm running out of things to write.
95- You have lots of amazing talents.
96- Your personality seems to fill up a room, if personalities could take up space.
97- Nearly there... I like that you put so much effort into your list.
98- Much more effort than I would have expected.
99- You have wonderful charisma.
100- You are assertive. If you want to do something, it gets done.
101- I guess what I've been trying to say over the course of this extraordinarily long list is that you are kind and likable, though you have your faults, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend, if not a boyfriend.
There. 101 things that I like about you. Not that I'm guaranteeing we'll be a couple or anything, of course...
Anyway, well... If you'd like to hang up, or... Ask me out, I suppose... Just give me a ring. Or write me a note again; it was rather cute.
I'm so fucking contradictory.
But like I said, I'd love to hang out, and see where this takes us.
Sincerely,
Arthur Kirkland
P.S. My middle name is James, since you were wondering.
So, yeah. This was harder than I thought it'd be. I actually RP as Iggy, but it's not as easy to do that in letter format. Please tell me how you thought it was. If I have to, I can go back and fix some things.
-YY
