A/N: I think this story is somehow an AU, but I honestly can't be sure! Just know that there will be lots of spoilers for season 9 and Dean's storyline.
No need to mention this is Dean-centric with lots of hurt!Dean. But Sam is there just as much.
Hope you enjoy this story as well and share your thoughts with me.
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. Hold Me Together While I Crumble .
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Waking up actually felt good for a change and absently Dean thought that he hadn't slept that good in a very very long time. Stretching his body, happily in his bed, proved to be the wrong move, though, as pain ran up through his leg and took his breath away.
Gingerly pushing himself up, Dean looked down at his legs, noticing that the left one was in a heavy cast from the sole of his foot up to his thigh.
He blinked owlishly and tried to remember what had happened, only to end up drawing a blank. He shook his head in confusion and for the first time noticed that the room and the bed and practically everything around him looked totally unfamiliar.
'Great.' He thought to himself, 'What other universe have I landed myself in, this time?'
His suspicious and fear only increased when the door to his room opened slightly and a small head with a bundle of blond hair appeared from behind the door to take a peek into the room. Before Dean's mind could register what he was seeing, the door was flung open and a little girl ran inside, throwing herself at him, shrieking something scarily like 'Daddyyyy.'
Looking down at the girl who couldn't be more than five, Dean cursed himself for being clumsy in yet another hunt. Or was he dead and this was heaven? Wait, maybe he was dreaming after dealing with another Djinn! Damn! There were just too many alternatives.
When the girl didn't get any response, she pulled back and looked at him with wide eyes. "Daddy?" she repeated more slowly and that was when Dean heard another set of footsteps.
He looked up from the girl in his arms and sighed with relief. A familiar face was always welcome, even if that person weren't on the same boat as he was.
"Sammy?" he asked uncertainly; he could remember that the last time that he'd ended up in another perfect life, Sam had been distant and didn't like being called Sammy. Well, Sam in every world was against that nickname, but in the real world, Dean knew that Sam would just complain good-naturedly. At least, it used to be that way. They were anything but close, recently.
"Man, about time you woke up." Sam smiled, apparently not minding the nickname at all. "We've started to think about getting you back to the hospital."
"We?" Dean frowned and before Sam could say anything in response, the little girl clinging to his chest turned around and looked at Sam.
"Uncle Sam. Daddy is still not OK." she said quietly, and Dean slightly grimaced at the sadness in her voice.
Sam studied his brother and walked further into the room.
"Lily, honey, why don't you go watch the rest of your cartoon? Your Daddy's just woken up; he's still a bit confused. Remember when we explained to you how he hurt his head?"
The little girl nodded vigorously and the looked back at Dean with big eyes. After a couple of seconds, she leaned forward and gave Dean's cheek a kiss. "I love you, Daddy." she hugged him one more time before walking out of the room dejectedly, all traces of cheerfulness were gone from her little steps.
"I-" Dean truly looked at a loss and disoriented, and well, a little bit guilty; he really hadn't meant to hurt that little girl's feelings, but he just wasn't sure how to react since he didn't even know what was going on. "What's going on, Sam?"
Sam frowned and sat down on the edge of his brother's bed. "What's the last thing you remember?"
Dean had to actually think about it for a full minute and finally the pain in his head stopped him from jogging his memory any further. "Honestly, just that we were in the bunker. I remember we were looking for Abaddon and... And I know I was feeling pretty shitty, but this?... I can't remember anything about this." he pointed at his leg and then looked at the room around him.
"Bunker?" Sam's eyes were wide. "Abaddon?" the amount of shock in his voice and his eyes easily convinced Dean that this was just like the last time. Everything was just a figment of his imagination; what he wished he could have and knew that would never happen. At that thought, his eyes hardened and he started to think about finding a sliver knife to finish that stupid dream sooner. He wasn't going to go through another one of those dreams.
"But Dean," Sam's voice brought him back to the present. "That was 7 years ago."
"What?" Now Dean was really puzzled. Was it another trick? Like when in the other dream his family had tried to tell him that he was needed there?
Well, he guessed he could demand some answers first. "What's happened to me anyway?" he looked down at his leg.
"Hunting accident." Sam replied absently; he clearly was trying to deal with a different set of problems in his head.
"Hun-" Dean blinked. "You mean we're hunters in this world, too?" he asked. "Hunters as in... Demon hunters?" he didn't care if it sounded crazy; if this was a dream, he wasn't going to live it long.
"Yes, Dean and what do you mean in this world?" Sam asked in return. "Wait. Wait. You think this is like the time when that Djinn touched you? Dean, this is not a dream." he suddenly sounded terrified. "Please. O God. Dean, promise me you won't think about killing yourself with a silver knife. This isn't a dream, Dean. You do that and you'll die for good and your daughter will be deprived of yet another parent. Her only parent... And she's so dependent on you. She literally can't go without checking on you or hearing your voice for more than a few hours. Please, Dean. Please promise me you won't do that. To her. To us." he was almost begging his brother and sounded so desperate.
Dean felt completely lost. Sam knew about the other dream and the Djinn and hunting and... But if it was true, then why couldn't he remember anything about those 7 years Sam had mentioned? And what was it about being that little girl's parent? Her only parent and... "Dammit." He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes and growled loudly.
It was getting harder and harder to ignore the pain.
"I think we really should take you back to the hospital." Sam said worriedly and started to get up, but Dean grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
"Not before I get some answers." he demanded hoarsely. "What do you mean by 'we'? And what the hell has exactly happened to me? Who's... Umm, Lily? And where is her mother? What the hell happened to Abaddon and the bunker and everything that we were doing? What the hell is going on? What the-"
"Please." Sam growled. "Would you stop using that word? There's a child in this house and I'm sure later you'll have my head if she learns it." Sam said miserably. "That girl is your daughter. Lillian Mary Winchester. Her mother... Umm, she... She's passed away." he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Three years ago... She had cancer and... Er, well, you weren't married. You-"
"We were going to, though." Dean added unconsciously and his own eyes widened.
'Where had that come from? How could he know that-' his head was suddenly filled with different images of a woman with blue eyes and black hair and with those images the pain in his head hit him full force until he couldn't focus on anything else.
The next thing he knew, he was lying down on his bed, groaning miserably with his fingers pressed against his temples. Sam was a few feet away, pacing the room up and down while talking frantically with someone on the phone.
Dean barely noticed the little girl who was clutching his shirt in her small hands. Her little beautiful face was wet with tears and it broke Dean's heart so much that despite the killer headache, he clamped his mouth shut and stifled the groans of pain.
Plastering a wan smile on his face, Dean tried to reassure the little girl. "It's..." he couldn't form a sentence without adding to his headache. "I'm 'K. Shh." he tried to sooth the little girl but his world faded to black a few moments later.
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... TBC ...
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A/N: I'd love to know what you think.
Things will get clearer in the next two chapters and then there will be some explanation and lots of spoilers for season 9. Hope you stay tuned.
All mistakes are mine.
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