Shattered Endeavor
The rain blurred the crumbled walls so that they looked whole. You would understand if you were here. I'll paint the picture for you as I sit down on a flat, stone slab.
There's a great, crumbling wall in a withering, dying garden. I won't go into details about the garden; it's dead. So, when the rain cascades from the sky, the garden looks alive again. The waterfalls come back as the stream fills with crystal clear water. There is no thunder, no lightning. Everything is pure and perfect. The most magnificent thing, as I mentioned earlier, was the way the rain blended the breaks in the concrete so the wall looked new, complete even. The rain made it look like you were squinting and it was together and whole again but your eyes are wide open so you know you aren't squinting and in the rain everything feels real as your mistakes are washed from your skin and you can't breathe and you let go, let your memories take you back and-
And then the silence, aside from the soft pattering of the rain, is completely shattered by the crack that split the sky. And then there's lightning and thunder and the storm picks up. Suddenly, the wall is invisible among the angry, swirling, pounding rain and wind.
My petal pink hair is whipped back in my face, and I can't breathe because for that one moment I had everything and now it was ruined. I had the silence, the memories, the calm, clean feeling of rain against my skin. Nobody else knows what my life is like. In the blurring rain, I turn to my right.
"How come you never talk to me, Sasuke-kun?" I ask in a sweet, broken voice. I gaze hauntingly into the eyes of my love who is seated beside me. I receive no answer. But that's all right; typical Sasuke-kun.
I decide that I will talk to him as I usually do since he profusely refuses to answer me. In a soft voice that I reserve only for these days when I am away from work and alone with Sasuke-kun, I whisper, "I'm so glad you didn't leave me again. These visits are what keep me going. I mean, I know you can't stay. I just look forward to our meetings so much. I don't know what I would do without you."
I pause, not expecting an answer. I don't receive one.
"I really don't know what I would have done if you had left me hanging again," I repeat. I twirl my pale index finger in my hair which is cut short. I squeeze the water out. The rain has sputtered to a light, crisp shower, with crackling lightning strikes in the distance. I ponder my hair before speaking my thoughts out loud.
"I know you like long hair, Sasuke-kun, or that is what I've heard. But I've decided to keep my short. Really, Sasuke-kun, it's better that way. It doesn't get in the way when I'm out on missions and it most certainly is easier to manage in the mornings."
I kind of wished he would say something now. But I don't dwell on his silence. Maybe he can't help it. After all, he's already been so kind to come out here with me and secretly meet me in the rain and all. We do this kind of thing every so often. We always know when the other will be here, in our broken garden. I usually come here after my training. I remember when I used to train with Sasuke-kun. Instantly, memories of our younger days swirl around in my head. I tilt my chin upwards and slowly shake my head, hair sticking to my face as I close my eyes and remember. But the memories are vague now, and I can't pull one mission from another. I try to remember, I really do. But like it has been for quite some time, ever since I hit my head on a rock while on a mission to retrieve Sasuke-kun, I can't remember. My sharp, intelligent eyes that hold my knowledge of the world as it is today are for once guarded and vulnerable as I try to tap into the memories of the past. Everything is still jumbled. I sigh and focus my attention back to Sasuke-kun.
"Sasuke-kun, we should really head back now. I'm glad you got to see me." I want to stay longer, but I know that my mentor will be waiting for me. I rise to my feet with grace. I turn back to look at Sasuke-kun, but he is already gone. Probably already retreating into the forest to go find his awful, horrid mentor I hear the ninja talking about. I usually steer clear of conversations about Sasuke-kun. Especially when Naruto or Ino are around. They are the only two who know of my secret meeting with Sasuke-kun. But strangely, whenever I try to talk to them about it, they get all discreet and guarded and their eyes flash with pity. But why pity? I'm happy meeting Sasuke-kun. The real happiness I feel when I meet him is something that doesn't happen often.
"Goodbye, Sasuke-kun," I murmur into the rain. The wind picks up and slants the rainfall. I wonder if he can hear me as I add hesitantly, "I love you."
I turn to go, my eyes drifting once more over the garden. The rain picks up again. Funny, I thought the worst of the storm was over. I sigh at how much it resembles my life. Then I square my shoulders and become a new Sakura. I blink and my sweetly innocent, broken eyes become cold and hard. My lips set into more of a neutral frown. My raised eyebrows come to sit in a hard line above my newly constructed eyes. My shoulders tilt back, giving me an eerie, intimidating, unrecognizable confidence. I am so different than the girl that was sitting down moments ago. I take a deep breath when my mask finally sets, and I head back into the world I have learned to suffer within.
Ino is there in the shadows with Naruto. She watches her best friend, tears rolling down her perfect creamy skin. What has she become, Ino thought, horrified, as Naruto nodded grimly. She couldn't believe she was seeing Sakura so vulnerable. Ever since she hit her head in a vicious battle with Sasuke, Ino had believed Sakura had completely transformed into a stoic, lifeless ninja. Now she watched Sakura talk as if a person was next to her.
But the scary thing was, as Sakura addressed Sasuke-kun, she thought he was actually there beside her. But there was nobody with Sakura. It was just her and the rain. She was talking to nothing. Another sob shook Ino's body. She felt Naruto grab her hand as they both bent their heads closer so Ino could talk.
"Naruto, how long have you know she comes out here and pretends Sasuke is… is… I don't know, there!" Ino gasped. She watched Sakura tilt her head back and shake her head slightly.
"Ever since the battle with Sasuke," Naruto replied, his voice heavy. He added in a whisper, "She hit her head pretty hard. Everyone thought she completely forgot about Sasuke. But she comes here often after her training. One day I caught the excitement in her eyes, and I hadn't seen it there since before she hit her head. I had to follow her, Ino, and this is what I found. She thinks Sasuke is there. She really does."
Ino turned away, and Naruto followed suit. "I just can't believe this is what it has come down to. Have you ever seen anyone so broken?"
Naruto bitterly shook his head. Sasuke had consumed his mind right then. Naruto hoped he was suffering too. He didn't mistake the obvious flicker of worry in Sasuke's eyes when Sakura hit her head.
It was even more obvious that Sasuke actually cared when Sakura's last words were his name before she blacked out, and he called her name back. For a fraction of a second, Naruto had thought Sasuke would go back to Sakura and try to help her.
But Sasuke always was known for running away from everything good for him and chasing after everything bad. So, naturally, he left Sakura and the rest of his old teammates.
"Let's go, Ino," Naruto finally said. He rubbed his temples. "Before Sakura notices we're gone."
Ino numbly followed as her heart broke for her friend who was living with something beyond a broken heart, a lost love. Sakura had lost her sanity.
For a brief moment, Ino paused. If there was a way to find him, to bring him back, to show him what he had done… would he finally see it? See how much she loved him? See how much she was suffering each day? Ino touched Naruto's shoulder and took a deep breath.
"Naruto, what if…"
Somewhere miles away, a man with raven hair sat in a tree alone, lost in thought, wondering what his life would be like if he hadn't made so many mistakes.
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AUTHORS NOTE: I may continue it. It does leave you hanging, I see. But I'm still debating on how I'd continue it, so until then it's going to stay this way. And there you have it. I must say, it's one of my more angsty pieces. But all the same, it's one of my favorites so that's why I decided to post it. I'll just have to see, I guess, if I'll have an inspiration for another part or two. Reviews are appreciated in any form. Thanks for reading. Xoxo, darkness turns to light
