Note: Negative goes with Positive
I finally got around to doing this.
I mean, really, how long have I been postponing this?
It's just so hard to write Vanitas.
I guess I got...scared?
I'unno.
If you, by some reason, want to do this, look at my profile for the complete list.
Time: A few days after Vanitas' creation.
Place: Keyblade Graveyard, Badlands
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix, Disney.
Anxiety
"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength" - Charles H. Spurgeon
Vanitas stared down at his feet, dangling from a cliff in Keyblade Graveyard. His hands were shaky and they were awfully not as careful as he would have liked. He dropped a few this and thats, earning mocking smirks from Xehanort's only goon (he fell under 'apprentice' category, not goon), Braig.
What made his hands so fidgety? What made him feel queasy?
"Pull yourself together, Vanitas," Xehanort commanded harshly, yet calmly. Vanitas turned to see Xehanort, hands behind his back like they always seemed to be. Vanitas only nodded and stood from where he sat, straightening himself. Vanitas knew they were just going to train, so why did he always have to have this uneasy feeling making him stumble and careless?
"You're anxious, boy. Nervous. Are you intimidated?" Xehanort smirked. So that's what it was.
"I guess..." Vanitas mumbled, summoning his Keyblade, Void Gear. "Just train me."
Xehanort scoffed, shaking his head. "Anxiety, Vanitas, is a small hurdle that you must overcome to be able to use your strength; nervousness causes distraction; distraught. You become an easy target, so therefore, I am only wasting my time with you if I trained someone unbearably anxious. Rest your heart, and maybe, tomorrow you won't be so feeble and weak. We have time, but not enough for you to completely rid yourself of teenage emotions. When you've accomplished that... That's when we train. I cannot afford to waste my time training you when your head has a crack and your training will simply slip through that crack without you knowing."
"Maybe," Vanitas began, "my anxiousness would be erased if you trained me better! I don't know if what I'm going to do is going to please you or not, and unless I know, I'm going to keep being anxious!" Vanitas took a moment, "I don't know just what to do, why I'm here, or why I even exist, and you expect me not to be anxious? Me being anxious is the least I can feel right now."
Xehanort took a moment to consider this, almost proving just how much he didn't seem to have a heart. Like what Vanitas felt was utterly trivial; and it probably was.
"Then we have ground rules. One, do not disobey me. Two, do not make any kind of contact with any of the apprentices of Master Eraqus or Master Eraqus himself unless I personally approve of it. Three, do not spread Unversed to unnecessary places. Four, do not try to speed things up; this plan has its own pace. And finally, five, keep up with Ventus or make Ventus keep up with you."
Vanitas knew what Xehanort was talking about, but somehow, he felt it wasn't something he wanted to know. He felt, deep down, that the important thing is to know his purpose; but then, if the Master said nothing on it, then maybe it wasn't important after all; that maybe, what he felt was completely trivial.
