"It's hard to believe it's already been a year and a half since she graced our lives with her presence." Edward said, turning slightly to his left to look at me. He was as gorgeous as that first day I caught a glimpse of him in cafeteria. And also still had the same toneless way of speaking.
"She grew up so fast." I told my husband, squeezing his hand romantically in mine, "Her dress suits her perfectly, but why, of all days, did Jacob forget to wear a shirt? It's his wedding day!"
This was true, for after they said their "I do's," my now son-in-law exploded, destroying his pants. As my precious daughter rode off on her newlywed wolf husband, Edward turned to me and said monotonously, "I guess he didn't want to ruin his shirt."
"That wedding was so romantic, it reminded me of our wedding." I said whimsically.
"Jacob tried to steal you away, that was TOTALLY romantic." Edward sarcastically spit.
"Yeah, but I found him so attractive." I whined.
"He certainly is." Edward stated creepily.
"Wait, what?" I said, startled.
He grabbed me by my shoulders, "Bella, I should have never married you and turned you into a vampire, I should have let Jacob have you, even though I wanted him so much myself."
"What are you trying to say?" I said, pulling away.
"Are you really that stupid?" My husband asked.
"Yes! I am! It makes me more relatable to the average teenage girl." I whined.
"I sparkle, is it not obvious?" Edward yelled.
"I thought all vampires sparkled." I said pathetically
"Just the gay ones." He stated, "Bella, I'm gay. And I'm leaving you."
"Took you long enough!" I heard someone yell as the man who I gave my heart to walked off to leave me forever.
