A/N I did this for Rocky Horror like two years ago. This one was considerably more annoying to do, but it finally came out of me. Merry Chrismahanukwanzaka! Don't own em, but they're fun to play with. Enjoy!


Twas the night before Christmas and all through the morgue
Not a creature was stirring, 'specially not a corpse

The paperwork was stacked upon Garret's desk
In vain hopes that one day he wouldn't be quite so stressed

Jordan was snuggled all safe in her office
Sometimes a couch was better than her apartment

And Nigel in helmet and Bug in his vest
Had just settled down for a long winter's rest

When down in the crypt there arose such a clatter
Jordan sprung from her couch to see what was the matter

All through the morgue she flew and she ran
Already coming up with some hackneyed plan

But when she got there the only thing to be found
Was blue eyes and dimples and hair that was brown

When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But one asshole Slokum set on destroying careers

He was a bastard, a slimy old git
They knew in a moment it sure wasn't St. Nick

More rapid than eagles the other staffers they came
All set to defend Garret and his claim

"Asshole, Napolean, bonsai-tree fetishist,
You'll never have even the chance to assist

Now go back to your little hole in the wall
Dash away dash away dash away all!"

And as leaves before the wild hurricane fly
They all found Garret with a gleam in his eye

So up to the rooftop the asshole he flew
With a stack of reports and a bonsai tree too

And then in a twinkling they heard from the hall
The voice of Matt Seely, ready to brawl

And as they relaxed and were turning around
Devan appeared out of nowhere with a leap and bound

Dressed up in scrubs like she so often was
The rest of the staff wondered where the hell she came back from

Woody's eyes how they twinkled. his dimples so merry
The all had assumed she was dead and buried

Nigel's jaw was hanging on the floor completely amazed
He thought that surely it was a sign from space

Then Peter appeared, another mystery to be solved
He explained it away with a trip to Hawaii to be more involved

Then Howie appeared, a right jolly old elf
You laugh when you see him in spite of yourself

A wink of his eye and a nod of his head
Soon lets you know you have psychoanalysis to dread

Garret spoke not a word but returned to his job
Making things easer with the help of some scotch

Bug followed their dear leader back
Getting to work on his paperwork stack

Peter sprung back away, and gave a shout
And he was gone again, leaving the rest to pout

And all heard Jordan exclaim as they faded from sight
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"