"The man who finally got Christian Clarke to commit" : A Chryed fic
Set in Spring-Summer 2011.
After the Arjee Bhajee roof collapse in April 2011, Christian and Syed return home from the hospital in a playful mood….. leading to revelations on a lazy spring afternoon.
In this version of events, they don't meet Zainab outside the flat on the way in, allowing the boys time to enjoy the moment and think about plans of their own.
Of course I don't own the characters or the settings, which belong to EastEnders and the BBC. The ideas are mine, but are just for fun. My 2nd fic, written 12/4/11.
I'd love to know what you think. Thank you! Enjoy.
-c-s-c-s-c-s-
Chapter 1
It was good to be back. Christian opened the door with relief, thrusting the keys back in his pocket, letting Syed hobble inside from the street.
Syed's broken leg was in a cast, and he was still cut and bruised from the horrendous roof collapse the Arjee Bhajee, but the shower and clean clothes at the hospital had revived him, washing away the traces of the accident, and now he was impatient to use his crutches and get home to their flat. Christian quickly shut the door behind them and dropped the bag at the bottom of the stairs. They shared a quick smile of relief, trying to shake off the tension and fear of the past few days.
They were home. Syed sagged slightly with the relief, wincing slightly at the unwieldy cast hampering his movement. The small unwitting gesture wasn't lost on Christian.
"Here, give me that," he said to Syed, taking one of the crutches from him at the bottom of the stairs.
"I'll help you up instead. You need the practice, plus, you know, I'll be a softer landing if you fall," he teased.
"Yeah right," said Syed sceptically, but gladly accepting the help, revelling in the closeness.
They started up the narrow stairs, Syed with a crutch in his right hand, his left arm slung around Christian's shoulders, providing extra lift for each step upwards. It wasn't easy -to be honest, they hadn't expected it to be. Timing the steps was awkward, and there was scarcely room for the two of them on the narrow staircase, let alone the movements of Syed's clattering crutch as well.
"I think we're making life difficult for ourselves with this 'helping'," Syed joked, half way up, bumping the walls as they went.
"Well, they say try everything once," teased Christian back, unable to resist slightly shifting his right arm which was supporting Syed around his waist, so he could slip his fingers quickly under his loose top, a cold hand against Syed's warm skin.
"Oi, stop distracting me," said Syed, half-heartedly, as he tensed against the sudden chill, protesting "That's cold!" but he instinctively leaned into the familiar touch, welcoming it.
"Don't worry, we'll have you all warm soon enough," said Christian, as they continued up the stairs.
"Is that a promise?" said Syed his tone dropping low.
"Oh yeah baby, you betcha," replied Christian.
Just then, distracted by their thoughts of getting close after all of yesterday's anguish, Christian, who was holding Syed's spare crutch in his left hand, dragged the bottom of the crutch hastily up against the stair edging and it caught for a moment, flicking the crutch out of his loose hold and it fell, clattering down a few steps below them.
"Oops," Christian began, turning and stooping to retrieve it, letting go of Syed, who, taken off guard, off-balanced, wobbling precariously backwards, towards the empty stairs below.
"Christian!" he gasped, as Christian instantly realised what he'd done, and moved to break Syed's fall, putting himself in the way below him.
"Ompf, I've got you," he said as he steadied Syed.
"Yeah you have," said Syed, "Thanks!" The bruises on his legs throbbed at the sudden jolt, but he hadn't fallen. Christian was crouched near where he'd been turning around, his shoulder and back braced against Syed's legs, leaving his face pressed close up against Syed's tracksuit clad rear, as they both suddenly realised..pausing.
"Sy, now as much as I love it down here, this isn't quite what I had in mind..." he joked gently, unable to resist nuzzling lightly for an instant, "Are you okay if I move?"
"Yeah," answered Syed, catching his breath, and holding onto of the wall to support himself, as Christian stood up.
"Sorry babe," replied Christian, "I'm an idiot."
"Weeelll," said Syed, "if you say so," he joked. "It's fine," he reassured him, "I've had worse."
Christian's face fell at the reminder.
"Hey," said Sy, stopping him, "I've told you, I'm still here. Now, help me up to the flat. You made me a promise," he reminded him, with a grin.
Christian returned the smile, wrapped an arm around Syed's waist again and they stumbled up to the top of the steps, outside the flat door, timing the steps better with practice, with Syed's arm back around Christian's shoulder, and he left it there. Christian, with his free left hand, reached awkwardly around to his right jeans pocket to retrieve his hastily stowed keys, purposefully brushing lightly against Syed's groin as he did so. He felt a shudder run through Syed, and looked up at him with a cheeky grin. Sy raised an eyebrow at Christian, issuing a challenge, and Christian fumbled the keys as they were freed from his pocket and they fell to the floor with a clatter.
They laughed, as he bent to retrieve the keys, and it felt good to laugh, the tension of the past hours and days beginning to seep away. As they entered the flat, Christian threw the keys at the table, where they slid off the edge, and he shut the door with a roll of his eyes, wondering what else could go wrong. He threw their jackets onto the nearest chair, then helped Syed across the flat towards the haven of the bed, arms back wrapped around the other, Christian supporting the man he loved who hobbled on his remaining crutch. They successfully avoided the furniture together, until at the last minute Syed caught the crutch under the final protruding corner of the sofa and tripped over it, stumbling into Christian who overbalanced and kicked a chair himself with an exclamation, but he recovered enough to rush them the last few steps to fall heavily on to the bed, both now laughing helplessly.
"You're supposed to be helping me!" gasped Syed through his laughter, as Christian insisted he had been, the relief of the day heightening the helpless laughter between the pair. As they caught their breaths, Christian went to move…
"I'll just get that crutch from downstairs," he said.
"Leave it," said Sy, "We'll get it later, now we're here," he persuaded. Christian happily gave in.
"I've missed this," Syed added, as they got more comfortable, lying close against each other.
Syed continued, teasing in his tone…
"I've become outrageously domesticated, apparently -it felt odd waking up in a strange hospital bed, all alone. Mind you, they had filled me with all sorts of drugs, so…"
"I know," replied Christian, "Seriously, who'd have thought I'd miss all your wriggling and kicking in your sleep, it wasn't the s.…Hey!" as Syed elbowed him in mock-retaliation.
"Wait," said Sy.. "You're not going to come out with some cheesy old line about 'the bed being too big without me' are you?" he teased, "because you know I can't run away with these crutches."
"I'm counting on it," said Christian, turning to face him, but the smile slowly faded from his face as he looked closely at Syed's cuts and injuries, regret creeping into his expression.
Syed could feel the moment shifting, the laughter fading away, the atmosphere suddenly becoming more intense…
"Sy," Christian began… "I can't believe you're back here so soon," he said, then hesitated.
"I can't bear that they hurt you, again," he admitted, brokenly. Syed was silent, unable to respond just then. Christian continued…
"I was so scared you know, seeing you lying there under the beam, unconscious. Terrified in fact" he added with a hint of a smile. "I thought I'd lost you for a moment there. I don't know what I'd have done..." he looked down, unable to entirely laugh at his own foolishness, as the image twisted in his gut.
Syed reached out, stroking his fingers gently down his jawline, reassuring him. Christian leaned into the touch, looked up, and found a wry smile, apologetic.
"Sorry Sy. You don't need to hear this. Ignore me. It's just…we're a team, yeah? I don't want anything taking you away from me again."
"Just you try," gentled Syed. "I can't get down those steps, for starters, so you're stuck with me, like it or not, so you'd better get used to it."
Christian smiled, but Syed hesitated, he felt he owed him some honesty of his own. He added, after a moment, taking a deep breath…
"It hurts, okay, knowing what they said, what happened, with my family. I..I can't pretend it doesn't. But you know we went there expecting trouble, just in the foolish hope something might have changed…and having you there, and here, makes it easier to bear." Syed paused, collecting himself… "I wasn't expecting the roof to fall in of course!" he tried to finish lightly, even if it was said a bit unevenly.
Christian attempted a quick smile in response, but his heart wasn't really in it. He confessed haltingly, "Sy, I can't help thinking, if you'd been worse, stayed unconscious, what they could have done to you. .…I don't like feeling helpless," he finished quietly.
"I know," said Sy, admitting after a pause, "I thought the same thing….But its fine, really -look at me Christian- nothing's changed, we're together, a new family. You and me… Do you think I'd put up with Ian Beale for nothing?" he added teasingly. It had worked, he could see Christian relaxing.
"You're amazing, you know that?" Christian said with a winning smile, as he seemed to open up and relax, breathing in deeply, somehow stretching back to his normal stature and presence. He rolled over onto his back lazily, pulling Syed into his side, taking up more of the bed.
"I love that about you, always hopeful," Christian added.
"Er, either that or just foolish," quipped Syed.
"Nah, said Christian, "That's one of the many things I love about you, you see the best in people."
"Yeah well, occasionally I get my patience rewarded, and someone surprises me," Syed replied.
He shifted slightly, wriggling against the pillows to get more comfortable.
"So, are you going to look after me then?" he teased. "As you insisted would you, if I recall, to indulge my every whim and desire?"
"You got it," said Christian with a grin, rolling over for a quick kiss.
"And when might this service be starting?" Syed asked innocently, undermined by his cheeky grin.
"Demanding, aren't you," said Christian. "I'll expect you to return the favour you know, next time I'm laid low with flu and you're failing to sympathise with my poor aching head, telling me to cut it out and get to work."
"It was a hangover!" Sy insisted, "Besides, we'll get like an old married couple, bringing each other slippers and breakfast in bed… -Hang on, we already are..-Well, less of the slippers obviously, but more of the breakfast, and more of the bed too of course…"
"Maybe we should try it too," laughed out Christian.
Syed froze, had he just really said that? Had he meant it? Christian felt it, and sat up, pulling Syed up with him, realising what he'd said, thinking fast.
"Syed…actually…It's not such a bad plan," he said, surprising himself, then realising it put words to how he'd been feeling for quite a while now. It felt natural, although he knew it would never be simple. He tried again, feeling inexplicably hopeful.
"You know I love you. And you love me." He took a deep breath. "Why not? Please Sy, Marry me?" he said impulsively, but he meant every word.
"Christian, I….I…" Syed tried to reply, fear, excitement and adrenaline coursing through him.
"I can't," he managed, not wanting to see the look on Christian face, surprised by the sinking feeling he felt at saying the words out loud. "..I'm sorry." He felt like all his instincts were conflicting, pulling him in different directions…
He looked at Christian, and saw the light dim in his eyes, but Christian quickly regained his composure, hesitated, and then pulled Syed into a warm hug, lingering there. They both needed that moment, the physical closeness repairing the rift of the moment before. The seconds ticked by.
Syed held him close, collecting his thoughts, then shifted in his embrace so he could at least try to explain. He owed him that much.
"Christian….I do believe in two people being together, staying together, marriage, family….it was the way I was brought up. I want that too. But I didn't think I could have it, or deserve it… It's complicated, my religion, my family, community, this new life…. I'd need to do it for the right reasons. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't know…. I am sorry Christian." He paused. "I've hurt you…" he finished.
"It's okay Sy," said Christian finally, releasing him reluctantly. "Really," he insisted, when Syed looked at him sceptically.
"Honestly? ..I didn't expect you to say yes, just like that," Christian said carefully…
"I'm just putting it….y'know….out there," he added with a small smile, a twinkle returning to his eyes. "Think about it."
"I will, really I will," said Syed. "You have no idea how much!" he retorted wryly. Then in a frustrated rush, he stood up from the end of the bed, awkwardly, but turned to stand leaning against the nearby edge of the sofa, facing Christian.
"Christian, how can you be, well –You! Be annoyingly kind, after what I just….It should be me picking you up!"
"Well, if you're offering!" returned Christian playfully, unable to resist the innuendo.
Syed tried, but failed, to wholly glare at him in annoyance, a smile twitching at his lips, despite everything. Christian continued, giving Syed a look which told of the honesty in his words.
"Seriously Sy, I know it's difficult for you. You found the strength to grab this life together. I don't know what you want, but we can make it whatever we want it to be."
They were outwardly so different in so many ways, but alike in their kindness, their care, their hope, and their passion. That all-consuming fire that had kept them apart and drawn them together still burned, so close to the surface, nurtured, playful and passionate. The laughter and the love, the very lightness of every day, was still a pleasure to Syed. He found he was more himself than he had ever been before.
"The man who finally got Christian Clarke to commit?" Syed remembered, out loud….
"What?" asked Christian, surprised at the words, but catching the wistful expression in Syed's face.
"It's something James said, back when...you ended it with him…" Syed tailed off, no more needing to be said. Christian looked uncomfortable; he knew it wasn't his finest hour. They'd both struggled in those moments, uncertain how to proceed, to know what was for the best, knowing people would be hurt, what ever they did. Asking whether it was wrong. Hurting the ones you love, with no way out. Their love had won through, time and again, growing each time, the pain and the pleasure desperately entwined, hope refusing to fail, despite everything.
"I remember when James came to see me that morning, wanting to know why you'd pushed him away. The things he said… Right before you called me out on my anger, said I was scared, that I was pleased that you'd ended it with him...You were right, of course," he admitted, "and you knew it," he joked, breaking the newfound tension, lightening the mood.
"But of course," Christian scoffed gently, playfully, not breaking the moment.
"He was hurting," Syed continued explaining. "He said it served him right for believing he'd changed you, that it had been good for the ego, believing he was 'The man who finally got Christian Clarke to commit'. He even said 'I'm beginning to wonder if he even exists.' I'll never forget it, the gut-twisting tension and hope that I felt, when he said that, hope for you, for us…although I had no right. Could I be that man, could anyone? Did you really want me that much? The idea terrified and thrilled me. You have no idea."
"I think I'm beginning to get a clue…" Christian said, standing up, drawing Syed near, into a comforting embrace, slipping his arms around him, resting his hands in the small of his back. Syed melted into him, drawing close. Drinking in his presence, his scent, the security. The familiar sensations began running through him…
"Oh yeah?" Syed tested, pushing up against him, flirting, raising an eyebrow. Christian groaned, slipping his hands lower.
"Yeah," Christian said, his voice low and seductive. "Don't wonder anymore," he said as he led them back down to lie on the bed, gently, aware of Syed's injuries. "The man who makes me commit is riiiight here. You'd better believe it," he teased, his hands continuing to explore softly, but then he paused. Syed was happily distracted, breathing deeply, so Christian gently captured Sy's chin in his hand, and drew him into a tender kiss. Syed responded softly, his curiosity piqued by the change of pace. Christian looked into his eyes, a bolt of truth running between them. He said...
"Oh he exists Sy, he certainly exists. You've done this amazing thing for me, chosen me, chosen us, let yourself breathe and believe. I know what you've lost, and found –yes, I know that sounds cheesy," he said quickly, seeing Sy's half-smile emerge, but continued, undeterred, "…but you've changed me, for the better. What can I say, you bring out the best in me!" he laughed. "I love my life with you, I love you. I'm not going anywhere."
Syed felt a shudder of emotion run through him, the sincerity in Christian's voice clear, causing his stomach to dip and his foolish heart to soar.
"Christian, I.." Syed stumbled, starting again, more determined, softly, "Christian, thank you. That means so much to me, you mean so much to me…Clarkey," he added, eliciting a bubble of laughter from both of them. He then said, brokenly and simply...
"I love you….I hope you know how much..."
"Shhh, it's okay," Christian breathed, placing a finger on Syed's lips. "I really do." "It's okay baby." They smiled, relief returning, and the lightness. They breathed freely again.
"Next time, I'll carry you up the stairs, far less trouble!" Christian joked teasingly, dropping back by Syed's side.
"I'd like to see you try," scoffed Sy.
"Ooh, now there's a challenge…." replied Christian, "We could try some interesting, er, positions -Y'know, in my arms, on my back, Fireman's lift…."
"Don't, just don't," cut in Sy. "Ow. Laughing, it hurrrts."
"Aw, sorry babe." Christian looked concerned, but Sy continued…
"Besides, we'd have a difficult time, explaining the boot scuff marks half way up the wall to Ian."
"Yeah, and the rest" laughed Christian, casting a glance around the flat, his eyes twinkling playfully as they returned to Syed.
"Seriously, though, can I get you anything Sy? Are you okay, really?"
"I'll be fine, thanks," Syed replied. "Better all the time. It's good to be home."
Reassured, Christian began to relax, comfortably, but Syed's mind was still racing. He didn't want to leave it like that, after all the things they'd said…..yet he couldn't get the words out. He swallowed, but decided to hold on to this moment, before he changed his mind. The quiet words suddenly burst out of him...
"Ask me again?" he said hopefully, his voice lifting, that quiet inner glow slowly lighting up his face with a smile that was shy but winning, a smile that was unsurpressable, encouraging.
Christian paused, now uncertain…
"Y'know, I mean….soon," Sy clarified.
The smile crept back across Christian's face, delight and hope for the future flooding through him as he grinned back at Sy happily. 'No' wasn't supposed to feel like this, was it, he thought wryly, unable to look away, gazes locked, in that moment of connection. It was the silent promise of future happiness, and of hope.
Eventually, Christian broke the delicious tension of the moment.
"Now, where were we?" he said lazily... "Oh yeah, that kiss in the Alleyway, the day before," he teased, with a sexy grin.
"Yeah, not easily forgotten," said Syed with a smile, drawing him close, distracting him.
"Well, there was so much pent up frustration that night," managed Christian, leaning in for a heart-stopping kiss. Eventually, he drew away, then added brightly…
"Right you. Let's get you into bed, you need to rest that leg, and I can tend to your bruises."
Syed let out a quick sceptical laugh.
"What?" asked Christian, "I'm the picture of innocence," he protested.
"Yeah right," replied Sy.
"I promise to be good!" Christian insisted.
"Oh," complained Syed, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Shame. I could do with some distraction…"
Christian laughed happily "Syed Masood, what are we going to do with you? You're supposed to be recuperating."
"I know, I will. Yes, it hurts, but, I'm…adaptable," he insisted playfully, with flirtatious smile quirking hopefully at the corner of his mouth. "And I know you are too" he added quietly, seductively. Christian groaned.
After the few days they'd had, they both craved the closeness, the affirmation of what they shared, the relief.
Moving ever closer towards Syed, carefully, he gently but insistently whispered, "Who knew you'd be such a demanding patient…"
-c-s-c-s-c-s-
Chapter 2
Time had passed, fears had subsided.
Syed's confidence had grown and he'd had time to think, to reconcile his conflicting instincts. Time to choose his future, his place in the world. He knew what he wanted, and knew he would fight for it, defend it, protect it. From anyone.
He wanted Christian. He wanted them. They drew strength from each other, picking each other up when they stumbled, 'taking on the world' as the cliché said –well, just their small part of it, anyway! It wasn't always easy, it wasn't perfect, but it was wonderful, and worth it, so worth it. The pleasure, the pure rush of joy, the understanding and tenderness, the thrill of anticipation, excitement, exhilaration, in each other, for each other. The touch, the taste…. The love. He couldn't imagine anything better, he couldn't picture his life any other way –he didn't want to. It was about the two of them, their commitment to each other, against the odds, clear for the world to see, even though they would be judged. "I don't think you can go to hell for having loved," he remembered.
No regrets anymore, it was time to look forward, build their future. He was ready.
He'd been dropping hints to Christian, who'd started teasing him, enjoying the chase, building the tension, seeking the right moment. Was today the day? Syed thought, each day. What was he waiting for? he thought impatiently. He wasn't going to wait any more, he decided, heading out and buying a ring for his man.
Christian beat him to it, later that day.
They were spending the afternoon in the Park, away from Walford, lounging stretched out in the warm sun of the late spring afternoon in a peaceful corner of the wide open space, green with fresh spring growth, before the summer sun began bleaching the colours. The warmth of the sun seeped into their limbs, and into Syed's healing leg. The soporific effect of the sunshine lulled them into a sleepy, restful mood and they talked and teased, or just enjoyed the silence surrounding them, trees rustling in the breeze, with the sounds of the City beyond.
Christian leant back against Syed's knees as he read, or Sy's head rested on Christian's chest sleepily, unconcerned by the occasional passers-by further down the hill, some of whom cast a quick envious glance in their direction at their clear sense of ease and relaxation, as they rushed by.
Christian had been murmuring happily away, singing under his breath.
Syed grinned to himself, looking up, the low vibration of the sound and the relaxed contentment was palpable, almost too comfortable, stirring him to respond.
"You know, some people might find that distracting," Syed teased, in mock-seriousness, turning to face him.
"Naaaah," drawled Christian lazily, and Syed laughed.
"It's part of my many charms, surely?" Christian insisted, playfully.
"Something like that," Sy agreed, whilst slowly stroking his fingers teasingly through Christian's hair.
As the afternoon wore on, Syed noticed that Christian had gone quiet, but he was shifting nervously.
Christian sat up carefully next to Sy, trying to decide how to begin, looking a little wrung out. Was now the moment? Christian wondered anxiously, or should he give him longer? All the signs had seemed encouraging…..he looked over at Syed nervously, who looked back at him, leaning on one arm, a little perplexed, but still relaxed, although clearly he was aware something was up.
Syed took hold of Christian's hand, stroking his wrist gently, and Christian decided to seize the moment, the chance was too good to miss. He fumbled in his pocket, opening draw-string bag containing the precious ring he'd kept for too long already, waiting for the time to be right. He took a deep breath….and then leaned over to Sy, gently kissing away the slightly confused frown from his face, feeling him relax.
"Syed, I need to ask you something," he said, abandoning all pretence, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he scrambled up, before dropping down to one knee in front of Syed.
Syed gasped, his heart leapt, and an excited tension filled him, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at the ridiculous gesture in front of him. He tried to still his racing thoughts as he sat up to face Christian, who was looking stunning in the low light now streaming through the nearby trees. He could tell Christian was nervous but excited as he began again, his voice low but certain.
Christian took the risk, and just said what was in his heart.
"You don't know how special you are Syed," he smiled. "My Sy, my beautiful man. I love you so much. You're the most important thing in the world to me."
Syed held his breath, as Christian asked him again.…
"Will you marry me?"
"Yes," he breathed quickly. "Yes I will," Sy added, with certainty. The frisson of excitement was there, the thrill of the shifting ground beneath them. It wasn't how he'd expected his life to be, but it felt so right.
"You're sure?" asked Christian, exhilarated, trying to control his excitement, wanting to believe, hoping it was the truth.
Syed replied with newfound certainly, despite the slight crack in his voice, his face radiant with a wonderfully relaxed smile, the one Christian used to ache to see.
"This is what I want. Marry me, Christian. Be with me. This amazing thing we have, I want to protect it, strengthen it, just to enjoy it! Every day. Together. …I know it won't be easy, I know it won't be a walk in the park," he joked lightly, and Christian rolled his eyes with a smile as Syed continued, "But seriously, I love you, more than I ever imagined possible. Marry me too?"
"Yes. Yes of course I will, I do. Come 'ere." Christian drew him in for a desperate, enthralling, shuddering kiss, a kiss that went on and on. Entirely absorbed in each other, heat and desire captured them, shutting out everything else, even the sounds of the quiet park surrounding them. A perfect moment.
They laughed at their happiness and at their foolishness, smiling breathlessly, talking of the crazy way they'd reached this moment, elated at their luck, putting the pain of the past behind them. They'd fought for this love, overcome so many obstacles. The hurt then heightened the happiness now. Reality of the challenges still in their way was there, but they refused to let it intrude just yet. How had life ended up this way? So unexpected, yet so right.
Promise for the future, and delight in the moment, quickly combined into an intoxicating mix. Arousal rushed through them, touch and senses heightened.
"We've...got to go…" Christian whispered against Syed's ear, pulling reluctantly away, helping Syed to his feet with a winning smile and wrapping an arm around his waist, heading quickly for the peace and seclusion of their flat, warm against the cooling evening air outside.
Syed glanced at Christian at his side, grinning. Oh yes, it was going to be a good night, he thought, happily…And a good life, together.
