Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.
At first, she had barely even noticed it.
"Natsume and Mikan," said Sumire, looking up from the list she was making. "You guys will get the cake, right?"
Mikan nodded enthusiastically, one of her pigtails reaching out to slap Ruka in the face. Natsume gently pulled her away from the poor boy, who was rubbing his slightly reddened cheek, till she was pressed up tightly against his side.
Sumire snorted as she took in the gesture and muttered, "Oh, just go on your honeymoon already." The rest of the gang, gathered around her to help plan Koko's birthday party, burst out laughing.
But lately, it had become just plain irritating.
"So you're coming to Anna's for dinner Friday night, right?" asked Nonoko, running to catch up with Mikan in the corridor.
"Yeah, sure," said Mikan.
Nonoko smiled at her before turning around and shouting at Anna, who was exiting a classroom behind them, "Natsume and Mikan are in!"
She gritted her teeth. "I'm not sure about Natsume."
"Huh?" said Nonoko, surprised. "But you just said yes."
"You'll just have to ask him," she snapped, turning around and stalking out of the building. Mikan walked through the lawns for a while, irrationally angry. After a while, the edge wore off her temper and she began to feel guilty for lashing out at Nonoko.
Plopping her bag down on the grass, she sat down in the shade of a nearby oak. For a while she just stared at the thin tendrils of green shooting up against the brown on the soil, absently plucking out a few.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
She looked up with a start to find Koko smiling down at her. It wasn't his usual mischievous grin but something far softer. She patted the grass next to her and he sat down, legs folded together Indian style.
"So?" he asked.
In response, she reached into her bag and took out a penny. He laughed and picked it up, twirling it around his fingers so that its shiny surface caught the sunlight.
"Well, you're angry," he began.
"I think I'll take a refund." She held her hand out.
He held the penny teasingly out of her reach. "And you've clearly been hanging around Natsume too much."
She looked away at that.
"And now, you're a little bit angry, a whole lot guilty and more than a bit confused. Also, there's a smidgeon of petulance and defiance in there."
Mikan bit her lip, looking down at the grass once more.
"It's okay, you know," continued Koko, his voice gentle.
"It's silly." She didn't know why her voice broke just the tiniest bit as she said it.
"Not really. Everyone refers to 'Natsume and Mikan'" he said, cutting to the heart of her problem. "Even when they don't say it, it's implied. When was the last time someone called you Mikan and meant it? Meant just you and nothing else?"
"You've been eavesdropping on my thoughts," accused Mikan.
He shrugged. "Nope. You're not very good at hiding your emotions. Lately, you wince every time some calls out for the two of you."
"Oh."
There was a short silence.
"It's just – I'm not – I'm not used to being some sort of package deal. I love him – God, I really do – and I've wanted this for a really long time but I miss being – being just Mikan."
"Okay," said Koko, simply.
"I love him," she said fiercely, turning around to face him.
"I know."
They sat there for a while, watching the occasional bird or butterfly fly past. Eventually, Mikan broke the silence.
"It's just – it was supposed to be happily ever after, you know?"
"Isn't it?"
"It is! But maybe I've grown too old to be content with just that."
"You need your own space, Mikan. And that's cool, everybody does. Just talk to Natsume."
"What if he feels hurt?"
"He's already worried, Mikan. He's not dumb. He can tell something's up with you. And you know that moron. He's cooking up all kinds of crazy scenarios in his head."
Suddenly, she laughed. "What, like the time I accidently set the oven on fire and went out to get it fixed without telling him and he was absolutely convinced I'd been kidnapped by dragons?"
Koko grinned and said, "What about the one with the shaving cream and Persona's shadow?"
"Overprotective idiot," she said, fondly.
"Don't even get me started on the one with Sumire's panties and that pigeon in the Chemistry lab."
She stood up and shook the grass off her skirt, smiling. "I promised Hotaru I'd meet her at her lab. I really should get going before she makes me pay a tardy fine again."
"So I can keep the penny?"
She reached out as if to grab it from him and he dodged neatly. "Oh, and Mikan? People aren't going to magically stop coupling your names. But maybe you can figure out a way to look at it differently?"
"And just for that you can keep it," said Mikan. She giggled at the loud whoop he let out.
"See ya," he said, face breaking out into his standard wide smile as he waved.
Walking towards Hotaru's lab, Mikan thought about it all.
Natsume and Mikan. Their names, bound inextricably together. But maybe – maybe their use wasn't about a lack of identity but the evidence of a connection. A testament of love.
Smiling a little at her own sentimentality, she knocked on the door to Hotaru's lab.
It was opened by her scowling boyfriend. "You're late."
"Yeah, I..."
He opened the door a little wider to reveal all their friends, standing around Hotaru's various inventions. Anna held up a huge strawberry cake. "Surprise!"
She looked up at Natsume, shocked.
"Happy birthday, Polka," he said, with that lopsided grin she loved.
Their friends burst into cheers and Mochu started on an incredibly off-key rendition of the happy birthday song.
"Hey, Koko," said Sumire as the telepath slipped in behind her. "Good job keeping her busy."
"Do I get a reward?" he asked, smirking as she threw some of the popcorn she was holding at his head. He ducked the shower and went up to Mikan.
"Happy birthday," he said, pressing a small object into her hand.
"A penny?" said Natsume, looking at him curiously.
"Man, Koko," said Mochu, shaking his head. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any cheaper."
But Mikan smiled softly at him and he grinned back. "Thanks, Koko."
End
