Pain. My whole right side was on fire. Like I could still feel the flames licking up the side of my clothing. But the rain had calmed the fire, and I shouldn't feel like I'm on fire. But I do. And the slice in my side is aching-I can still feel the blood pouring out over my skin and staining my clothes. My head was pounding where the rebel had hit me-no doubt giving me a concussion. But then I remembered-and my heart became the most painful injury. I remembered what had happened. Tears pricked at my eyes. I started trembling.

"Oh, no! Cyn!" that voice...I would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Vivi?" I croaked, reaching my hand out blindly to her. She took it in hers, her face coming into my view. Worry was etched onto her features. Somewhere in the pit if my stomach I felt guilty.

"Vivi, please tell me it wasn't him?" I begged in a whisper. Her expression changed. It was subtle, but enough to confirm my fears. I felt the breath leave my body. The tears came more quickly, and sobs wracked my form. I forced my arms under me, desperately pushing away from the ground. I felt heavy. Every movement took twice the effort it usually did. But I couldn't stop.

"Wait! Cyn! Please! You need medical attention!" she cried, reaching desperately toward me. I paused only for a moment, glancing back at her before turning and forcing myself to run. People around me were celebrating and tending to the wounded. Everywhere was crowded. The streets were muddy. The noise was overwhelming.

"Pell!" I cried, "Pell!"

For hours I searched, desperately roaming the city, calling out his name. Countless times, I was stopped by a medic, and every time I denied treatment. 'I need to find Pell,' I said. And each time they reluctantly let me go on my search. The sun was beginning to fall, but I could barely tell through the dense clouds and ever-falling rain. "Pell," I continued to call, growing ever weaker, my movements slowing, as if I were walking through quicksand. The streets were considerably less crowded here, but darker as well. So much darker that I barely noticed the figure approaching me.

"Cyn?" it whispered...that voice...

"Pell?" I cried desperately, spinning to see him standing at the corner of a nearby building, his hand pressed against it for support. Upon seeing him, albeit looking ragged, I stumbled toward him. He met me half way, and engulfed me in his arms. I sobbed into his chest, my relief so fierce it was pouring out of me. He smelled like gunpowder, ash and rain. Nothing like he was supposed to smell. But the sound of his voice as he comforted me was unmistakeable.

"It's okay, Cyn...sh, sh. I'm right here. I'm alright," he promised. He wasn't alright. I knew he wasn't alright. But he was alive, and that's all that really mattered.

"You...the bomb...you-you..." words weren't forming correctly. I couldn't force out what I really wanted to say. I was helplessly choking and sobbing and couldn't seem to really say anything.

"I know, I'm sorry."

My head lifted from his chest, and I slid my hands up so they were cupping his face. My eyes swept over him. My Pell. This was my Pell. I almost lost him. The black ash smeared across his pale face like paint was proof of that. Proof of the sacrifice he'd been willing to make for this kingdom. My thumbs brushed delicately at his cheeks, wiping at the ash and rain.

"I'm sorry, Cyn," he whispered, his eyes displaying the sincerity behind his words. Tears once again spilled over.

"I thought you were dead," I whispered, my hands sliding to his shoulders and my head falling helplessly against his chest. His left hand lifted to the back of my head and held it protectively, cradling it comfortingly. The right wrapped around my waist, securing me to him. He pressed his lips to my head.

"I know. I know, I'm sorry, please forgive me," he whispered.

"I love you, Pell, I love you so much," my words were muffled against his chest, but he heard them clearly.

"I love you more than you could ever know, Cyn. More than the sun and the moon, more than the air I breathe, more than the wind or the rain...more than life itself. That's why I did it. I couldn't let you die. I love you too much..." his words only made the tears come harder. I lifted my head to look at my Pell. His dark eyes fully expressed the love he spoke of, and I realized once again that I could never, never stop loving this man.

"Never let me go," I pleaded, my voice cracking.

"Never again," he promised, and his lips pressed against mine. All else ceased to matter. My Pell was alive, and I was alive. That wasn't going to change for a long time. Pell loved me, and I loved him.

Now that-that was never going to change.