AN/ This idea came to me after read the slight nonsensical Drapple fandom under a Facebook photo on the page 'Voldemophopia: The Fear of Having No Nose'. If you haven't liked it, I suggest you look at it now. Or at least, when you've read this. I decided to write the fic after a conversation with a friend about the scene in the third movie that is described in the story. Please don't take it seriously.

Summary: It was unique. It was sensational. It was striking jealousy into the hearts of hundreds of hormonal teenage girls Hogwarts-wide. It was: Drapple. The tragic story of Draco and Apple's relationship from beginning to end.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, do you really think I'd be creating stories about Draco Malfoy and an apple?


Drapple


Not many people had seen how it began. And of those that did, even fewer remembered it. But one that had seen it, had remembered it, and even now still pondered the event was one Hermione Granger.

It had been three years ago, the beginning of third year for her and her friends. And for him, of course. The lesson had been Care of Magical Creatures. It was taught by Hagrid, the gamekeeper, and half-giant friend of she, Harry and Ron, and it was learnt by many students of third year and up. Today was the turn of third year Gryffindor and Slytherin.

The lesson began with an attack on one of the students by the dangerous books assigned by Professor Hagrid. Draco Malfoy, of course, had used this opportunity to sneer at the poor boy. Ron Weasley had attempted to remedy the situation with far-too-late advice: "You're supposed to stroke it, Neville…"

And then Draco Malfoy took an apple out of his pocket.

It was green.

It was beautiful.

And it was delicious.

This was the moment Hermione was first barraged with teenage hormones.

She wanted to be that apple, as he sunk his clean, white teeth into the shining, emerald skin of the apple. She wanted to be under his perfectly-proportioned, rough lips, feeling his porcelain skin and his deft, pink tongue. She wanted to be caressed by the hardened skin of his long fingers.

These thoughts happened in about three seconds before she snapped out of it, as he threw the apple away into a mound of leaves carelessly.

These thoughts also occurred in the heads of Pansy Parkinson, Parvati Patil and Daphne Greengrass, as they discovered how attractive the Slytherin was with a green apple in his hand.

Of course, Hermione Granger hated Draco Malfoy. That was how it worked.

But Hermione Granger had wanted to be that apple. Because that apple was closer to Draco Malfoy than she would ever be.

And that was how it started.

From then on a large percentage of hormone-driven Hogwarts girls would sigh internally whenever Draco picked up an apple, which became inordinately often.

They were hooked, and so was he.

They were in love with the image of him with an apple in his hands…

And he was in love with the apple.

It was unique. It was sensational. It was striking jealousy into the hearts of hundreds of hormonal teenage girls Hogwarts-wide. It was: Drapple.

Never before had Hogwarts seen such a thing. A boy with the choice of every girl from fifth year and below and a plain, ordinary green apple. A lot of the time it wasn't even the same apple. It was sour and sharp. It got eaten a lot. But he returned to the apple every time.

Drapple was happening.

But the dream was not to last.

Even less people knew how it had ended. It ended in private. It ended in secret. It ended in the Room of Requirement.

Betrayal.

Heartbreak.

A deep, lingering sadness.

These were the feelings of the apple, despite its state of being as an inanimate-object.

"You don't understand," Draco had whispered to the apple, "I have to do this."

But the apple just ignored him as he placed it into the Vanishing Cabinet.

"Please forgive me."

When the apple returned, it had found someone else to love, to be bitten by, to provide for.

It had been eaten, scorned, loved and then betrayed. And now it was granting someone else its attractiveness.

It returned, bitten by another person.

Never again did Draco Malfoy pick up a green apple in his time at Hogwarts.

The dream was over.

And that was how it ended.


AN/ I hope that made you laugh. I love writing joke fics like this.

~RisingFire