Title: When I Grow Up, I Want a Cowboy

Pairing: Edward and Bella

Rating: M

Summary: Four years ago, Bella left rural Australia for her floristry course. Pregnant. When she returns home, will Edward notice the familiarity of her daughter's green eyes? Can Bella trust him again after what he did?


Disclaimer: Contains sex and medium-level language. Anything resembling Twilight belongs to S. Meyer. "Pony" is a country song written & sung by Australian Kasey Chambers for her third album Wayward Angel (2004). (Wikipedia) www . youtube . com /watch?v=yWySmwnQOLk


Every summer Bella looked forward to spending three weeks of the Christmas holidays at the beach. Her excitement wasn't for presents or the fresh waves that rinsed the humid heat of December from her skin, but to be with her dad, Charlie. No man had ever been a bigger hero in his daughter's eyes. He had a job with the water police, and everyone knew him. No one messed with Bella's dad. And, even though work took most of his time while she visited, something happened while she was there. Eating his food. Cheering at footy games on TV together. Sleeping in the next room and hearing him snore.

She became somebody special: Charlie Swan's daughter in more than just words.

A week after finishing Year ten of high school, Bella searched her room for her favourite bikini to pack into her suitcase before they had to rush to the train station. "Muuuum?" she called down the hallway of their century-old cottage. "Mum! Where's my silver togs?"

"In your undie drawer!" Nan yelled.

On another inspection, Bella found it. "Ta, Nan!" Too much excitement was pulsing through her to function properly. The last time she'd seen Dad was a year ago as she couldn't have missed school to attend his parents' funeral last semester. She'd never lived with a man at home, because her grandfather had died before she was born, and her mum Renee hadn't re-married. Renee had left Charlie, returning to her mother and country life, when Bella was one.

"Bella Marie!" Mum screeched. Just as well the neighbours were five kilometres away. "Phone! It's Charlie."

Bella tore from her room and skipped down the hall into the cosy lounge room and lifted the handset from beside the dead fireplace. "Dad?" she said through a huge grin, bouncing on her toes. "I'm all set to make tracks!"

A glum voice. Regret. Work was crazy busy so he'd have no time to spend with her. Had to cancel this year's trip. Next year. Promise. Next year he'd make up for it.

She swallowed the overwhelming sob that threatened to burst from her. Wouldn't Mum like to bitch about him now?

Bella explained to Mum and Nan with a shrug. It didn't matter. No, she wouldn't miss the beach. No, her feelings weren't hurt at all—she understood how important his job was. She was fine. Dandy. She was going for a gallop on Lemonade, her horse.

She rode over hills of thirsty pasture, past mobs of newly shorn sheep, until the shiny tin roof of her old, brick cottage was out of sight and she was out of breath. Climbing off Lemonade, she then collapsed under an ironbark gumtree. Lying there, her eyes followed clouds drifting above the outstretched branches. Tears blurred the flickering glints of sunshine on shiny leaves.

"Whyyyy?" she yelled. Why didn't Dad want to see her? "WHY?" Why wasn't she more important than stupid work? Why wasn't she good enough? A worthless dandelion. Why, why, why?

"You 'right?"

Startled, Bella sat and gazed all the way up at the skinny neighbour boy atop a black horse. He was also fourteen and went to school with her. "'Course I am," she said.

"I was taking Sinful for a run when I heard you. Why you crying?"

"They're angry tears, so you don't wanna be talking to me right now, Edward Cullen."

"Aren't you s'posed to be on your way to your dad's?"

Her eyes squinted into a glare. "That's what I'm agro about. He had to cancel, so I'm not going to the beach this year, and I hate having to sludge through the mud of a dam to get to the water when yah stinkin' hot. Thank you for your concerns." And she flopped backwards on the crusty grass, ignoring him.

OOO

A week later, Edward knocked on Bella's door and told her to jump on her horse. "You'll wanna see this," he said.

They raced Sinful and Lemonade through the meadows and paddocks of Maryknoll—Bella's property—to Edward's huge sheep station, Wattle Creek. He slowed his horse to a walk and pointed over at his biggest dam. "What do you reckon about that?"

"About what? That... row of rubbish in the water?"

"That's not rubbish." His soft-green eyes popped wide with enthusiasm. "I made a jetty out from the shore with planks of wood and empty drums of molasses, so it floats. It's so you can jump off the end, straight into the deep without getting your princess toes muddy. I tried it out yesterday arvo. A bit bouncy, but it works a treat."

"No way!" Her face lit up. "I gotta try it!" She galloped Lemonade down to the dam's edge and swung off him. Hopping on one foot, she yanked her boot off, then the other. Her jeans were next, and she ran for the jetty in polka-dot knickers and her T-shirt. Edward stripped down to nothing but Spongebob boxers, chasing her.

Bella wobbled along the floating plank path until she got to the end. Mudless. "You little rippa!" she said, and leapt as high as she could. "Yahooooo!" Her flailing body came down with a splash and sank into the cold depths of the milk-chocolate water. She emerged, cackling up at Edward. "This is the best beach I've been to! You're a champion!"

OOO

Bella at 22:

Checking her watch, Bella paced from the bathroom in her small, Brisbane city flat to the kitchen, where her almost-three-year-old daughter sat on a stool at the breakfast bench.

"Eat yah brekkie faster, Marie. Or we're gonna be late for kindy again." And Bella would be late for work at the floristry. Again.

"No kin'y!" Marie tossed her toast triangles across the kitchen, some of the near-black Vegemite from them now smeared on her yellow dress. Bella had forgotten to feed her while she was still in her pyjamas. And she'd forgotten to wash their clothes over the weekend, too, used to Nan doing it while she slept off her Sunday hangovers. She was young and needed a fun night, clubbing with friends, after the seriousness and stress of Saturday brides.

With Nan minding Marie every day Bella had gone to work, they hadn't needed daycare. She lifted Marie from the stool to wipe her grubby dress with a cloth.

"Mummy?" Marie held the side of her mother's face to stare at Bella closely with her father's eyes. Soft green fringed with the thickest of lashes.

Bella adored her daughter's eyes. "Mm?"

"Where my Nan?"

What else could Bella say about the stroke that had taken Nan a month ago? The toddler mind just didn't comprehend a person who'd always been there disappearing forever. "You wanna wear your sandals or your cowgirl boots, like Mum?"

"Cow gaw boo's! Cow gaw boo's!"

The phone chose then to ring. "Hello?" Bella snapped into it.

"G'day, Bella. John from Orange District Real Estate."

"Hey, howa you going, John?"

"Yeah, can't complain. Ahh, look, just a heads-up that the Hensons won't be renewing their lease. They'll be moving out of your cottage this week."

"Oh, bugger."

"Yeah, but, this might be an opportunity to could get more rent from the next tenants if you wanna move the storage stuff out and open up that third bedroom."

She sighed. She'd been putting off confronting her past by returning to Maryknoll to scatter Nan's ashes as she'd asked. But Bella was also curious about the wooden box Nan had mentioned in her will, asking Bella to find and "learn from" what was inside. It was somewhere in the storage room—Nan's old bedroom—that Nan had loaded full of things she hadn't needed to take with her to Brisbane. She'd only planned on staying with Bella for six months, to help her with being a new Mum.

Neither of them had been back in nearly four years.

"Okay," Bella told John. "I'd like to sort through it before you get anyone else in."

OOO

Lying together in Marie's single bed, Bella put down the picture book she'd been reading and explained the plans she'd okay'd with her boss.

"Guess what, possum? We're going on a holiday next week to see the place where Nan and Grammy and Mummy were all little girls like you."

Marie studied Bella seriously. "Mummy big gaw." She patted her own chest. "Marie li'l gaw."

"Yes, but all girls start out little."

"Mummy?" Marie yawned.

"Mm?"

"'Nough talk. Sing my song now?"

"Okay." Bella chuckled and sang the country song she'd used as a substitute nursery rhyme since Marie was born.

"When I grow up I want a pony
I'm gonna ride her from dusk till dawn
I'm gonna brush her mane
And feed her sugar cane
And keep her in safe from the storm"

The lullaby drugged Marie as always. "Me has a pony one day, hey, Mummy?"

"Maybe one day. Shhhhh." Bella smoothed Marie's dark hair back.

"If I had a pony

I wonder, could I be your girl...?"

OOO

Days of driving and motel stays, and Marie had barely stopped nattering on from her car seat in the back of their dual-cab ute. A strange vehicle for a twenty-two-year-old city girl who could afford something posh, but Bella still clung to her days of carting hay and farm supplies in the back tray.

They were so close to her minuscule hometown of Molong now. When she got there, a beer at the local might help her nerves. She hadn't been in that pub since the night that had changed her life. When she'd ended up in a different ute.

Bella at 18:

A few weeks after graduating high school, Bella and her five best mates were all drinking and laughing the night away at one of the two pubs in Molong—wool, wheat, and wine country. The dusty floorboards groaned under their boots while they milled around the bar, several other patrons playing pool and drinking nearby.

Bella and Alice had just finished screaming along to Gretchen Wilson's song, "Here for the Party," when another song Bella knew well streamed from the jukebox. Kasey Chambers' twangy words formed the soundtrack to Edward stalking toward her as she stood with her back to the bar. She gulped. He'd never looked at her like that before.

When I grow up I want a pony
I'm gonna ride her from dusk till dawn
I'm gonna brush her mane
And feed her sugar cane
And keep her in safe from the storm

He'd been the most special male in her life since he'd spent a week of his Christmas holidays building her a jetty out from his dam. Funny how something so simple could ease her heart-numbing sadness. Fourteen was the last time she'd spoken to her father. Edward had been her focus ever since. A brotherly focus.

However, recently a very non-brotherly fire for him had been blazing inside her, burning her up.

He tied the long sleeves of his chequered shirt around the waist of his jeans, leaving him in a white Bonds singlet that stretched over the swell of his strong pecs and exposed his tanned biceps. He stopped in front of her, running his fingers through his overgrown, butterscotch-lolly hair, flashing the same shade under his pits. He was all man, smelling of spicy warmth, and she licked her lips.

"Aren't the best man and maid of honour s'posed to dance together?" he asked.

Good at pretending he didn't affect her, she laughed. "That was last night, drongo." She'd longed for him to slow dance with her then, but they'd hung out as old mates. Like always. Even though her face had glowed with pretty makeup and her wavy tresses had been slicked up, adorned with flowers.

His strong hand slid to Bella's lower back, easing the front of their bodies together. Electric currents from his belt buckle against her stomach seeped through her skin to make her insides buzz. "Better make up for it then, hey?" he said.

Tonight—post-hangover with nothing but towel-dried hair after a shower—she looked as wild as if she'd been lost in the bush for a month. And here was Edward, biting his lip as he studied her face. She was no dandelion.

She shrugged her agreement to dance, like she didn't care, her pulse thundering in her veins. His attentions and slightly swaying hips against hers had her drunk on more than alcohol. She sang the next lines of the song to him with her fingertip on her cheek, batting her lashes in mock innocence.

"If I had a pony
I wonder, could I be your girl?
"

He chuckled. "Wanna go outside? It's bloody hot in here."

"Right-o."

Under the old veranda at the front of the pub, they leant against the exterior. The weatherboards bit into her shoulder blades—a reminder she wasn't dreaming—as they faced the sleeping road.

"So... you look as good in those jeans as you did in that dress yesterday," he slurred, his eyes ahead.

"Ha! You must be even more blotto than last night."

"Okay, so you look good in a different way. Those jeans are so... tight that your arse is taunting me."

"Psh!" She loved his answer.

"And you're just as pretty tonight."

Crikey Joe! Silence pushed between them, and the thudding pulse in her ears overpowered the muffled music from inside the pub.

"Edward?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Why're you being different tonight?"

He turned to her so his warm chest touched her shoulder. "Confession? Alice told me you liked me."

"What?" Best friends didn't do that shit.

Perhaps he saw the fury in her fierce stare, because he held the side of her face, softening everything within her. "She told me, coz Jasper told her I liked you."

"Wha…? Do you?"

"Yeah. This much." He closed his eyes while lowering his face to hers. She nearly passed out, but wouldn't dare let herself miss one second of his lips touching hers. The lyrics streaming out to them made her want to smile. But, his slick tongue pushing past her teeth kept her mouth busy and her mind whirling.

When I grow up I want a cowboy
With dust all over his jeans
With a horse named Jack
And a ten-gallon hat
He is nice but looks so mean

That was Edward. Okay, so his cowboy hats weren't ten gallon, and his new horse's name was Banjo, but the rest was him. He did look mean with his tall frame, slightly bandy-legged swagger and the whiskers that prickled along that hard jaw... that she scratched her teeth over, fulfilling a fantasy.

He peered down at her with a lopsided smirk, his thumbs brushing the apple of her cheeks. "You're a good kisser."

"You too." Better than all her imagining. "Why didn't you make a move till now? You're not shy."

A crease flashed between his brows. "Whenever we go for piss-ups out of town, you hook up with other fellas, so I didn't think you saw me like that." His knee slipped between hers, his chest pressing against her breasts, pinning her to the wall.

"My confession time?" she asked, panting for him.

"Yours." He squeezed her waist.

"I didn't used to see you like that, but lately... I've wanted you." She rolled her hips up, gaining pressure against him. "So. Bloody. Badly."

No time to catch her breath, his lips were on hers with a groan, their tongues instantly pushing and probing each other's mouths like they were starving, like he thought she was delicious. He was delicious.

After twenty minutes they jumped in his big 4WD ute. Edward rolled it the length of a footy field away to the isolation of the end of town.

In the passenger seat, they pashed beneath the privacy of starlight and fumbled their clothes off, Edward becoming obsessed with her boobs the second her bra fell away. His hands and mouth worked her into a frenzy of wanting, needing, him inside her. She'd been having sex for three years but thought only guys got this horny. This ache between her legs was new... was so bloody intense. When she was finally naked—Edward with his jeans around his ankles and bare-chested—she eased on his condom.

And then she was sinking down on him, taking him into herself. Into her soul. God, it had never been this way with anyone else. She knew Edward. Trusted him even more than Alice. His little grunts every time their pelvises touched hummed in her ears, driving her toward the pleasure she'd only hoped for before. The other fellas had never made a noise other than telling her when they were about to come. Then they might've grunted... or perhaps sworn. But Edward...

"Uh...! I'm close," he said, strained, as if lifting a truck. "Are you?"

"Gimme one more minute." Or three.

"Uhhh. Too good... Sorry!" Jerking up into her, Edward growled through his teeth, like a ferocious animal.

She'd never forget that sound of him coming, so raw and passionate because of her.

Pressing her stomach to his, she kept him within her and kissed his lazy lips while rubbing tiny circles on herself. She wanted an orgasm while doing this, too. Especially one with Edward Cullen inside her. Even if he was soft. But, by the time she was panting through building euphoria, he was solid enough to move on.

"Omigod!" she said, unable to believe she was this close. Warmth ghosted from her belly and spread up to prickle her face with heat. "I'm gonna... actually...!" Blissful tingles fizzled from the centre of her being, out to her fingers and toes, numbing her whole body to everything but this heaven.

Exhausted with delight, she slumped against Edward. He held her arse and flexed his hips up so a single applause echoed through the air until he came. Again.

Their bodies slick with sweat, she rested her forehead in the crook of his neck, grinning through her victory. "Oh, wow."

She was in love with him.

He slithered his hands up the curvature of her back. "Bloody oath, wow."

A flash of light blinded them for a moment, the rumble of a V8 engine, heading directly for them. She dove off Edward, scrambling for her pants.

"It's the EJ," Edward said, reefing up his jeans while Bella rammed her legs into hers. "What's the fucka doing?"

"Edward! It'th an emergenthy!" Emmett yelled in his lisp from his classic EJ Holden station wagon. He was the hardest working Jackaroo at Wattle Creek, his bulky muscles advertising it. "You got Jathper's luggage in yah four-bee, and he neeth the inhaler! He'th not good, mate!"

As soon as they pulled up at the pub, little Alice dug through a bag in the back, panicked and swearing like a shearer.

Inside, Jasper was slouched on the floor, his back against the bar, his face grey. He sounded two hundred years old with each short, ragged breath, and Bella held hers, scared shitless. His sister Rose was sitting beside him, rubbing his arm while talking to him calmly. Alice fell at his other side, holding the inhaler to his mouth.

The commotion and fear was over in ten minutes, Jasper shaking his blond hair and laughing as they all joked about what an attention seeker he was.

Alice mock-glared at him. "You could've made me miss my honeymoon." They were to fly out in the morning.

OOO

Bella at 22:

Finally, Bella and Marie cruised from the open country highway—after watching out for kangaroo carcases to swerve around and braking for others that would bounce in front of them—into the cute little city of Orange. They needed groceries for their week's stay, so Bella parked out the front of Coles Supermarket, mentally going over what they needed. Some mysteryfood occasionally gave Marie a red rash on her face, like dry, blotchy blushing. Her cheeks were red again, and little wonder after all those service station and truck stop meals of meat pies and sausage rolls washed down with chocolate milks.

With Marie sitting up the front of the shopping trolley, swinging her legs, Bella tossed in fruits and vegetables, hoping nutritious meals would help Marie's skin condition.

"That hath to be Bella'th old, bomb ute out the front!"

Bella whirled about to see Emmett in a dirty blue singlet and jeans with his hands on his hips, his dusty cowboy hat shading his bright grin from the fluorescents. "Emmett, you bastard! Gimme a hug!" And she jumped into his outstretched arms.

He spun her around, both of them laughing.

Marie squealed. "Le' my mummy go!" Another ear-splitting squeal.

"It's okay, Marie," Bella said. "Sit down or the trolley will tip over. Emmett's an old friend of mine. He works on the property next to ours." She frowned at him. "At least, last I heard from Alice, you did." Christmas and birthday cards were the way she and Alice corresponded nowadays.

"Yeah, yeah," Emmett said, eyes on Marie. "Don't you look like yah mum? You're a little Bella, aren't you?"

Bella swallowed. Yes, Marie was a lot like her: freckled, dainty features and dark, wavy locks. But would Emmett notice Edward's eyes looking back at him?

Marie scowled. "Nooo. Me Marie."

"I like yah boot-th," Emmett told her, and she grinned into her fists, going shy. "Heh. Cute. How old are you now?"

Marie stuck up two fingers.

"Nearly three," Bella said.

"Wow. No wonder you look nothin' like how I thaw you latht, hey?" He turned to Bella. "You want me to bring Lemonade over to give Marie a ride?"

Bella's brow furrowed. "I can't say yes to that if he's not my horse anymore." The Cullens had been renting the paddocks of Maryknoll for cheap—on the condition they'd keep the fencing in good order. And they'd bought all the livestock when Nan had decided to stay in Brisbane with Bella and six-month-old Marie.

Emmett nodded. "He'th yourth, alright. Edward thtill callth him 'Bella'th pony'."

What was she to say to that? Bella's pony. Crikey Joe! Edward said her name occasionally? She swallowed, composing herself. It didn't change anything. "What're you doing in town, Em?"

"Gettin' my woman thomething for her birthday from Myer, acroth the road."

She punched his arm. "Ken and Barbie still tight as?"

He shook his head at her with a chuckle. "Yeah. But I don't thee her much with her living with Jathper and going to uni up North."

"Rose'll make a good nurse when she's done, but it is a bummer Alice and Jasper moved up to the mines, hey?" Jasper was giving his allergies a break for a few years, since pollen was thick in the air around Orange.

"Yeah, I know. But he'th makin' good dough. We'll have to get 'em down for a barby while you're here, and all go to the pub like old timeth."

"Too bloody right!" She knew that wouldn't happen, but all the fancy nightclubs she'd been to with Kate and Irina, and not once had she had more fun than dancing on dusty floorboards to country songs from a jukebox with Alice. "God, I could go a beer! Once I chuck this stuff in the ute, walk down to The Grand with us? Marie can have a milkshake."

"Yay! Mil-shaye!"

So Emmett tagged along while they shopped and then downed a couple of pots at the bistro-like pub, the three of them chinwagging the whole time.

OOO

Off an isolated road, Bella swung the ute onto a dirt track before stopping to open a white slatted gate with a sign that read Maryknoll. She couldn't stop smiling. They bumped down the driveway beside red-fruiting cherry trees that in the springtime turned the long trail into a magical tunnel of blossoms. This time of year Bella used to pick fruit and make jams with Mum and Nan to sell at the markets. Now, cherries were dropping and rotting. Her heart soared and sunk all at once.

"We're here, Marie." Her voice caught. "This is Maryknoll. And that pretty brick cottage down there's our house."

"Not ouh house. Ouh house long, long, far 'way, hey, Mummy?"

"This is ours, too." Nan had left Maryknoll to Bella, along with the apartment, since Renee was set, having married money overseas. Bella stopped the ute, needing to taste home—those ripe cherries.

Poor Marie had never experienced eating anything straight from the plant, and shestood under the tree, grinning in awe, stuffing her cheeks full of all the sweetness Bella picked for her.

Full as googs, they climbed back in the ute and rolled on. "What do you think of all the sheep?" Bella asked as the lush trees opened up to green, fenced fields on either side, filled with stock from Wattle Creek. Edward's stock.

Marie gasped out her window at the paddocks. "They some baby sheeps, too, Mummy! Me pat them? They nice sheeps?"

"Sure, they are! I'll catch one for you."

They abandoned the car, and Bella jumped a fence, leaving Marie on the other side, squealing and giggling at her mother leaping and running through the small mob of fifty woolly animals. Exhausted from laughing, herself—she was way out of practise—Bella grabbed at lambs that bounced away like their feet were springs. Finally, she caught a little one and carried it through the gate.

"Here you go." Bella collapsed on her knees, next to Marie, but her daughter's eyes popped as she took a step back, pulling a frightened face. "What?" Bella asked.

"He bited me?"

"No, look, I've got him. And he's so soft. We have to be quick so his mummy doesn't get upset."

Slow, cautious, mini-steps drew Marie closer, and she outstretched her hand, touching the wool feather-light before snapping her hand under her chin with a tight giggle, crinkling her nose.

"Awww, he liked that, possum."

Marie grew bolder, stroking the fleece, even as the lamb struggled. She squatted to look into the lamb's eyes close up and used a high pitched voice. "You like tha', bubby sheeps?"

Bella never wanted to forget this moment.

Inside the cottage Marie clomped her boots down the hall while singing to herself. The same basics of furniture Bella had known until age eighteen were scattered throughout the house, having been used by tenants. The last time Bella had seen these rooms, they'd had cosy rugs, framed pictures, cushions on the couches, knickknacks on surfaces and vases bursting with blooms. The place felt soulless now.

Bella unlocked Nan's old bedroom to find it stuffed with boxes and piles of blankets, clothes, pots and pans, Tupperware, lamps and other odds and ends. Nan had assembled almost everything from the house she didn't want to take to Brisbane—with intentions of helping Bella through her first six months of motherhood—into this room so they could rent the cottage's other two bedrooms.

Just staring at the jumble, Bella sighed, wondering where Nan's wooden box would be.

"Big, big mess!" Marie jabbed a finger at the room, scowling. "No, no, no!"

Guilt rose within Bella for the times she'd barked "no" at Marie, just like that, while hungover. Bella had let Nan be the maternal one, while she'd lived her youth free of responsibility. She'd desperately wanted to be the opposite of Charlie and had protected Marie from being hurt through abandonment, yet she'd told herself she was too young to know how to be a parent. But that had just been a cop-out so she could abandon Marie in a different way, hadn't it?

Lifting Marie to her hip, she bounced her. "What do you reckon we make veggie patties for tea and tackle this mess tomorrow?"

"Yeah. We tackles this 'morrow."

Bella chuckled. "I love you, poss."

That night, they slept in Bella's old double bed, made up fresh with the sheets, doona and pillows she'd brought with her. No police sirens echoing in the distance, just a few chattering bats.

OOO

Bella at 18:

The night after having amazing sex with Edward, Bella soaked in the bath and discovered what Jasper's ordeal had sidetracked her and Edward from. She washed off soap and investigated something that had been feeling... iffy, slithering Edward's condom from inside her.

For two weeks, she walked around in a stunned, zombie state while she waited for her period... waited for him to phone her and say something. Anything. She didn't get either.

His friendship had been a lie. He'd only wanted to root her. Now she was invisible to him. Once more she was desperate for a man to want her, only to have his cold rejection.

Day after day she waited to be proven wrong, only to taste more of the bitterness of betrayal. How it stung!

Before Alice came back from her honeymoon on the Great Barrier Reef, Bella packed up her battered ute and drove off ahead of schedule to start her floristry course in Brisbane.

First ever lies to Alice, about wild nights and one-night stands in the city—while Bella was actually crying herself to sleep—and no one suspected Edward had knocked her up.

When Marie made her grand entrance, Bella still hadn't heard from Edward. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose—who'd just started going out—flew up to see her and her pink-wrapped bundle in the hospital.

"Edward wanted to be here," Jasper said, as Alice cuddled the baby, cooing, "but he came down with the flu heaps bad yesterday." His eyes slid to Emmett, who quickly glanced back at Bella with a tight, guilty smile. They were terrible, bloody, liars.

Edward really had washed his hands of her.

Bella had made the right decision. There was no way in hell she'd give him the opportunity to break her daughter's heart, as well.

OOO

Bella at 22:

After giving Marie her first breakfast in the cottage, Bella had just started sorting through Nan's room when a horse's hooves thundered outside.

Marie ran to the window. "Mummy! A cowboy's ou'side, an' I fink he's a coun'y moosic s'ar!" Years later, Bella would remind Marie what her first comment about her father had been.

Edward tied his horse's reins to the porch as Bella stepped out the front door, her chest tightening. Behind his Quarter Horse whinnied her Appaloosa, all saddled up. Edward did look like a country music star. Big silver belt buckle, plaid shirt rolled up to the elbow and... an American-style cowboy hat like the singers on the Country Music Channel she and Marie watched all the time.

"Hey," Bella said, her heart having a spasm, drumming out a beat to I loved you. I loved you. I loved you.

"G'day, Bella. Howa yah goin'?" Four big steps put him right in front of her, and his big hand held the small of her back while he pecked her cheek. "You're lookin' well."

His same, warm scent. His touch. His eyes... that Marie shared. "You, too." A cough, willing moisture to her mouth. "If you're here for fresh baked scones you're outta luck."

He chuckled, his lips doing a one-sided smirk as he looked down at her. He'd kissed her with those lips, they'd been all over her breasts... sucking... And then he'd ignored her for years. Worthless. Thrown away. Dandelion.

"Are you a moosic s'ar?" Marie asked, peeking from behind Bella's knee, her voice barely audible.

"Sorry?" he asked her.

"Ummm..." Bella's thoughts scrambled. He was seeing his little girl for the first time. She wanted to whisk Marie away from him. She wanted to explain everything to him and have him be the dad for Marie that Charlie never had been for her. She wanted to tell him to rack off. "This is my daughter Marie. She asked if you were a country music star. I think she likes your hat."

"Yeah?" he asked Marie. "You like my hat?"

Marie nodded.

"Wanna wear it?"

She jumped out from behind her mother. "Okay!"

Edward plonked it on her head, and it came down to her nose, making her giggle.

"She's cute as, Bella. It's weird seeing you with a kid, but."

Lost for words, she went to her horse and hugged his neck, running her hand over his nose, the way she used to. "I missed you, Lemonade. You look good, boy." She kissed him.

Edward folded his arms across his chest and kicked his boots at a patch of dirt. A cloud of dust smoked around his jeans. "Thought you might wanna take him for a run while you're here. I've made sure he's ridden often, so you'd have... Well, Emmett said you were visiting, but I didn't think about..."

He gestured to Marie who was galloping an invisible horse along the veranda with his hat, yelling, "Giddy-up!"

Bella smiled at her gorgeous girl. "I'd love to take her for her first ride."

OOO

They rode their walking horses through the paddocks toward his grand, sandstone homestead—Marie in front of Bella, wearing a helmet from the storage room.

"So... how come you left while Alice was on her honeymoon?" Edward asked. "How come you didn't stay for your goodbye party?" If he'd really wanted to know, he'd have called her. Years ago.

"I was keen to enjoy Queensland's warmer weather before my course started."

"You'd tell me if it was coz o' me, wouldn't you?"

"What?" Her voice raised a few octaves.

He sighed and rubbed his horse's neck. "I felt a bit guilty that it might've been coz I'd hurt yah feelings. You know, I didn't get to call you or see you or anything after... that night, coz I had so much extra work with two farm hands gone. Jasper was on his honeymoon and Davo was crook with food poisoning. You didn't seem like the overly sensitive type, but the next thing, Alice was saying you'd takin' off."

Marie turned her head up to Bella. "Horsey tired now, Mummy?"

"No, he likes this, don't you, Lemonade?" Bella ruffled his mane.

"Why his name Lemsade?"

"Coz he's white with little, bubbly spots, and he used to jump around like the fizz at the top of lemonade." Marie giggled at that, but Bella's mind was still on Edward's statement. She looked at him, riding Banjo beside her through the field, looking like a rugged hero in a Western movie. How she wished things were different. That she wasn't disposable to men whose love she craved. Granted, she hadn't known Davo had been ill back then—it made Edward's excuse plausible. Almost. "Why didn't you call me after I moved? I thought we were friends."

He shrugged. "I heard you were hookin' up with all these different blokes and... Guess I thought you wouldn't do that anymore after we'd... you know. Guess I was jealous. Hurt. Pissed off. Take yah pick."

What? That was the last thing she thought he'd say. Regret for her lies to Alice lay like bricks in her stomach. "Is that the reason you didn't visit me in hospital with the others?"

"Nuh, I didn't wanna think of you as a Mum." He said it like a dirty word.

Bella held Marie tightly. Bittersweet to be proven right. Again. "Your place looks lovely," she said, pretending his knife wasn't in her chest. "Someone been doing heaps of renos to it?"

"Yeah, Mum wants to open a few B&B rooms since the house is heritage listed and all. My dog Bonny's had pups. Does... your girl wanna see 'em?" He looked at his daughter. "You like puppies?"

He'd forgotten Marie's name. Bella's heart tore. Memories of her father rejecting her, forgetting her, heated the air so she could hardly breathe.

But Marie had heard the word puppy and would throw a wobbly if they were to go straight back home.

Edward swung off Banjo when he got to the stables and then lifted Marie down, who squealed with the thrill of it all. Bella had so much emotion running through her, so much confusion and heartache that she'd kept bottled up tight since she was fourteen. It was oozing up and about to explode out of her as... she didn't know what.

"You mind if I take Lemonade for a gallop?" Too keyed up, she didn't wait for his answer. "Marie, you 'right here with Edward while Mum goes for a quick run on her old horse?"

Marie grinned and clapped her hands, which was good enough for Bella. She turned her horse around by his reins, squeezed her heels into his belly and jolted away, standing in the stirrups as Lemonade broke into a canter. The release of anxiety and adrenaline, the freedom blowing her hair back, sucking in air that now felt fresh, the familiarity of her youth... just what she needed. How had she lived without this for even a week?

She returned calm, ready to be cordial to Edward during this short trip, so he wouldn't suspect anything. She nosed Lemonade over to Edward's mum who was rolling a hose up next to a hedged rose garden.

"Hi, Elizabeth!" Bella dismounted with a wince, her muscles tender already.

"Hullo, dahhhling!" They hugged. "Sorry to hear about your Nan. Esme was always a good neighbour, and we were so sad to hear of her passing. I just met your little larrikin. Her poor cheeks! I bet she's allergic to pasteurised milk. My sister had a bub that would happen to, as well. She blamed the antibiotics she'd taken while expecting. And there's a reason calves die if only fed store-bought milk." Bella had forgotten what an excitable chatterbox Elizabeth was, but she had taken antibiotics when pregnant with Marie. "Our new little house cow, Bluebell's giving us more than we need, so you're welcome to some, luv."

"Wow. Cheers!" Bella was delighted. "I haven't had real milk in years." Her mother had always kept a house cow, too. Renee now had one on the "ranch" in Texas, where she lived with her husband Phil, a Yank she'd met while visiting mutual friends in Orange. They'd wed, then moved shortly before Bella had left Maryknoll. Renee now holidayed in Australia twice a year with lots of hugs and tears.

"Aw, you're welcome, Bella. Tell Edward to give you a few bottles from the fridge before you go. Your little chook will be 'right in about three days, believe me."

Following Marie's giggles, Bella found her with Edward in a horse stall, sitting on hay around a black and white Kelpie that was nursing five pups on a blanket.

"Mummy!" Marie's eyes sparkled. "You runs fahhhhst on Lensade! An' look! Li'l, li'l puppies, an' a mummy puppy, too!"

Edward hid a girly giggle into his hand that amused Bella, reminding her of how he used to do that years ago, betraying his tough job and appearance.

Bella sat next to Marie. "Are the puppies having their lunch, bub?"

Marie nodded seriously at Bella and swirled a finger around her own tummy. "The Mummy has the milk in here and the babies suck it out, so they g'ow st'oooong."

"Is that right?" Bella asked her as Edward held humorous eyes on Marie.

"Mm-hm. He told me." She looked at Edward. "Me hol' a puppy now my Mummy back, Edded?"

"Sure can! This one's finished her lunch. Her name's Bee-sting."

They spent over an hour in the stable, letting Marie have long holds of each pup.

"I'm getting hungry," Bella told her. "Wanna go home now? I bought stuff for chicken and salad sandwiches." How maternal and competent being able to say that. "Umm, you wanna stopover for lunch, Edward?" He'd know she was only being polite.

"Yeah, right-o. Those sangas sound a-bit-of-alright, hey, Marie?"

"Yeah!"

Bella curled her toes in her boots so it hurt. "You... don't have stuff to do 'round here?"

"Nuh. She'll be 'right. Emmett and Dad are on it."

They left on their horses with three milks in one-litre glass bottles, clinking together in Edward's saddle bag.

Sitting at the dining table with him was a strange experience. Technically, they were a family. Unruffled by that thought, Bella rambled about the box of Nan's she was looking for. Edward insisted on helping.

Hours of moving items to the other room passed, so Edward was also there for tea of salad and rissoles with tomato sauce. Marie fell asleep right after her shower, but Edward kept assisting with the room.

"Check it out." He held up a colourful box. "A blow-up pool." That led to talking about a time they'd all gone swimming in grade eleven, when Angelic Angela had been his high school girlfriend. That somehow led to a confession that he'd never had a girlfriend longer than that.

"Oh," Bella said.

"You got anyone back in Brisbane? Does Marie see her father?"

She swallowed, the earth opening beneath her. "He doesn't know. It was just a one-night stand."

"Probably for the best, then."

Of course he'd think that. "Thanks for your help, but..." she yawned with a stretch. "I'm beat."

"No worries. 'Bout time I head, I guess. Give us a ring if you need anything, hey?"

"Ta." She had no intentions of it.

"Uhhh, you got a torch I can borrow?" he asked.

"Yep. In the ute."

But the bloody thing had flat batteries, so Edward stayed the night on the couch. Having him under the same roof kept her awake long past exhaustion.

She roused to a sunny room and the pretty warble of a magpie's song that had her smiling and luxuriating in her favourite sound. Until the thick heat and sheen of sweat suffocating her skin drew her attention away.

Marie wasn't in the bedroom. She didn't answer Bella's call. Panic sent her tearing from the room. "Marie!" she screamed. "Marie!"

"We's in the poooool!"

Bella ran outside to find them both sitting under the shade of a fat apple tree, in the kiddie pool he'd found last night.

"Thought I'd let you sleep in," Edward said, water dripping down his face from his crazy, wet hair.

"Mummy! Look a' me! He blowed up a pool for me!"

"Today's a stinka." He shrugged. He was shirtless. Deliciously shirtless. The same passion Bella had dismissed years ago, swung around like a boomerang to return and whack her between the eyes. God, she wanted to punch something. Preferably him.

"Yeah, it's hot," Bella said, double checking she hadn't said, "you're hot."

"Bloody hot. You musta brought it with you from Brissy. Marie and me had Weet-Bix with Bluebell's milk for brekkie. Hope you don't mind. You got togs you can put on to join us?"

Marie jumped, splashing in her knickers. "Yeah, joy us, mummy! Joy us!"

"Okay!" She laughed and jogged to Marie in her bed shorts and white singlet and fell into the cool water so it rocked over the sides. Marie cackled and splattered about, completely unaware of the changed chemistry in the pool.

Bella acted blasé. "What're you wearing, Edward?"

"White dacks."

'Struth. White. If he'd stood right then, the cotton would be see-through and clinging to his goods. "You dag," was all she could say.

It was a tight fit for the three of them, and Edward's hairy legs constantly rubbed against Bella's smooth ones. The thrilled jolts it sent through her drove her mad with want... and the want to yell at him for being so charming now. He was bloody four years too late, and what if this was just him trying to get back in her pants? Before tossing her aside again?

Probably, with how often he sussed out her hard nipples through her wet singlet. Juvenile, but she liked the small triumph... and revenge.

Days went by, and Edward was still playing his Mr. Perfect game. When Bella ran out of gas for the stove, he drove his 4WD over—same one they'd had sex in—with a spare cylinder from his place and swapped them over, showing off his strength. When Bella rang his mobile the next afternoon and told him Marie was throwing a tantrum, wanting to see the pups, he told her he'd finish moving a mob of sheep and phone her back for them to come over. He called in only half an hour. The next night, he made a special trip to drop off fresh bottles of raw milk. That was after tea time, and Marie—with a now lovely complexion—was tuckered out in bed. He stayed to help Bella with the room.

She found the wooden box in the bottom of the wardrobe. Sitting on the bed, she lifted off the lid with reverence. Inside was an old journal. On the black leather cover, gold script read: My Greatest Memories.

"Oh, Nan." Bella pressed her hand over her mouth, staring at the precious book.

"Is it a diary?" Edward asked, sitting beside her as she flicked through a few pages.

"Yes."

"Now you found it, you gonna move all the stuff back in here?"

"I... I guess. There's too much to sort through and decide what to sell or take with me before I have to go back to work."

"You're going back?"

"I have a good job there. And friends."

"You got friends here, too, rememba?"

She snorted. "Yeah, Emmett's a good friend, but Alice is away."

"I'm here," he whispered.

He was trying to be smooth? Now? "God, Edward. I haven't heard a word from you in nearly four years. You'll forget us the second we leave town again."

"Just coz I didn't call doesn't mean I forgot you, Bella."

She gave him her sarcastic face. "Sure. And you didn't visit me in hospital when our friends did because... I was a 'mother'. God forbid."

"Yeah, I didn't wanna ruin the image of the sexiest, most fun chick I've ever known by seeing you after giving birth to some bloke's baby. Sue me for being a selfish bastard, but..." He huffed, glancing at the ceiling.

She desperately wanted that to be the truth. She was a glutton for punishment.

"Guess I've ruined the sexy image for you, then," she said, pushing her lowering guard up.

"Actually, quite the opposite." He took her hand, but didn't say anything else. The tender swiping of his thumb along her palm as he watched the movement unravelled her, her feelings swelling back to life, swamping her good senses.

He sprung on her, crushing his lips to hers and pushing her back into the mattress with his weight. The suddenness of his move, the power of him overwhelmed her, crumbling the remnants of her defences, and she clutched his shoulders. Oh, to be touched like this again! To kiss him and be wanted by him again! He eased up, becoming tender, his lips and tongue like intoxicating rose petals.

"Don't go back," he said before languidly pushing his tongue into her mouth with a moan.

What had she gotten herself into? She had to stop this. But his hand covered her breast. And squeezed.

She almost orgasmed. "Uhh! I'm so horny. I haven't been with anyone since you."

"Wha... what?" His head jerked back to baffle at her.

She lifted a shoulder. "I analysed myself after I moved and realised I started having sex so young, coz I was starving for male affection. So, I promised myself I'd only do it again if..." She wouldn't say the L word.

"But... Marie."

"I... oh, shit!" Her and her big mouth! She nudged him to roll off her, and she sat on the edge of the bed, covering her face. "Shit, shit, shit."

"Bella?"

She now had to be honest. Brutally so. "Okay, okay." Blowing out a slow breath she turned to him. "I lied to Alice about one-night stands in Brisbane because I didn't hear from you after that night, and I knew you didn't want anything to do with me. Your rubber had come off inside me, and I couldn't throw away my child, whether it was just a few cells or..." She stopped ranting. He knew now. He could bugger off now.

He stared at the far wall for a minute in silence. "You've kept her from more than just me, you know? My family would love her, too."

"I was protecting her."

"What?" Green fire glared at her.

He dared judge her? "As soon as my father's parents died, he stopped making any effort with me, remember? He stopped all contact. I was nothing but a fucking dandelion. It would have been better if I'd met him for the first time as an adult, then I'd just be a stranger he was rejecting. That wouldn't have broken me so badly... I couldn't let Marie be broken like that."

Edward leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, rubbing rough hands over his face. "Not every bloke is like your dad. I'm not like him. You didn't even give me a chance. I mean... I've got a daughter. I've got a beautiful little girl." He turned to Bella. "I want her to know me. I want her to have a good dad, and I'll be that good dad. This secretive shit has gotta be over and done with."

Dreamy music to her ears. Scary arse bloody music. "How?"

"I don't have the foggiest."

OOO

The next day Bella buckled Marie into the ute for the five minute drive to Wattle Creek along a dirt track. There, in the flourishing backyard of the Cullens' grand homestead, she and Edward told Elizabeth and Ed—his father—everything.

While Marie's grandparents filtered through their astonishment, Edward's grandfather, Carlisle, kept calling Bella "Esme," which confused Marie no end.

"You know my Nan?" she asked the thin, wrinkled man as he slouched in a wicker chair on the lush lawn. He just stared at Marie, his Alzheimer's, that had started after his wife's death last year, making it impossible for him to comprehend she was his great-granddaughter. So different to the neighbour of years ago—the gracious, old cowboy who'd regularly given a hand to the women next door.

Bella hoisted Marie up to her hip to give Carlisle some peace, but he reached his withered hand up to Bella. "Esme! My lovely Esme... And... our daughter? Yes. She has my eyes with your sweet face." He smiled at Marie, who snuggled into Bella, unsure of him.

"No, Dad, this is Bella," Ed said in his overtly casual tone—the opposite to his wife—and faced Bella. "He's not having a good day."

"He's right about one thing," Elizabeth said. "Marie does have 'Cullen' eyes. How'd I miss that? And I think we should be called Grandma and Granddad." She clapped her hands toward Marie who fell into them, happily eating up Elizabeth's attentions. "What do you think, dah-ling? I'm Grandma! Can you say Grandma? And where's Daddy?"

"Mum!" Edward said. "Put a sock in it, wouldya?" He gave Bella a grimacing, apologetic look. They hadn't said anything to Marie yet about him being her father. They wanted to say it right, and he was letting Bella decide when.

The next morning Edward arrived at Maryknoll to help Bella pack and to say goodbye. When Marie dozed off to Edward stroking her dark hair while she lay on the sofa, Bella went out the back with the urn of Nan's ashes. She'd been putting this off until the last minute.

She ambled through a back field with her white maxi-dress snapping around her ankles in the wind, her ponytail flying over her head. Atop a green hill that viewed their property and all that surrounded it, she unclipped the lid.

"Goodbye, Nan."

Sniffling, Bella shook the grey dust out. It swirled in the wind before thinning out invisibly toward Wattle Creek. Bella slapped her hand over her mouth, tears breaking free at the sight of what was once her doting grandmother.

That dust had hugged her all her life, used to talk to her, used to love her. How could such an important life be reduced to something so... nothing?

Her legs collapsed under the weight of her grief and unexpected sobs. Kneeling in a ball, she begged the earth for impossibilities. For a chance to tell Nan she was sorry for being so selfish, to have her back forever.

Her mind stayed there on the hill as she lumbered back. Reaching the rickety old Hills Hoist clothesline, a white sheet she'd forgotten about flapped in the blustery weather. On autopilot she unpegged it and pulled it from the silver wire line.

A kookaburra burst out laughing from a nearby gum tree. "Oo-oo-ah-ah-ah-oo-oo-ah-ah-ah-ah!"

"Don't laugh at me," Bella said to the bird, while swiping her tears. "I'm not pregnant." She'd heard Nan say that funny saying to kookaburras a million times in that very spot. An ache crippled her. She'd never hear Nan say that or anything elseever again. She hadn't cried about Nan until today, not letting her passing be real, and now she couldn't stop.

And then her arms were being pried from the sheet and encouraged to wrap around a living, breathing body. Edward. Having his comfort meant more than she thought it would, and her emotions burst. She clung to him as if they were skydiving and poured her emotions into his chest, wetting his shirt as her body jerked through snotty blubbers. She was safe with him, in his strong arms.

Confusingly safe. She didn't know his motives anymore. He seemed so genuine. Again.

To calm herself, she sucked in sharp bursts of air. "Thanks." She pushed away, eyes on the grass. "Sorry."

"Anytime."

When Marie woke, Bella locked the cottage, glancing back to have the pink blooms of the climbing rose that rambled over the porch beg her to stay. But the longer she spent around Edward, the more she trusted him. What would happen when their novelty wore off?

Edward hugged Marie for a whole minute before she was to be strapped into her car-seat. She smiled, pleased with his affection, as Bella took her, and then touched the side of Bella's face. "He nice man, Mummy."

Bella swallowed hard, blinking between Marie and Edward. Another swallow. "That's... that's coz he's your dad, poss."

"No, he no' my dad."

"Yeah, I am, Marie." Edward held her little hand. "We'll talk on the phone whenever you want, and we're gonna visit each other all the time, right-o?"

"Mummy? He t'icking me?"

She gave Edward a serious look. Unblinking. "I hope not."

OOO

Over the next month, Edward phoned Marie every night, and she got into the habit of calling him Daddy. "Grandma" would also call to ask Bella about Marie's cheeks and anything else she'd think of. Bella now only bought expensive, organic, raw milk, labelled "bath milk"—whenever it wasn't sold out. Marie's complexion was perfect.

After Marie went to sleep every night, Bella read Nan's journal. The verbal abuse and empty promises to a young girl by her father were gut-wrenching. From the age of fifteen to eighteen she'd had a secret, passionate affair—with Edward's grandfather, Carlisle! It gave new meaning to the dreamy way he'd gazed at Bella and called her "my lovely Esme." The poor man—he'd tried his best to prove himself to Esme, but she hadn't been able to trust him after all her father's betrayals.

The final time Esme couldn't forgive Carlisle for something minor, he'd dated, then married a beautiful redhead named Victoria. Broken-hearted and replaced, Esme slept with the first interested man and fell pregnant with Renee. A shotgun wedding. A loveless marriage. Decades later, she'd still written of her regrets and love for a man she could've had a fairytale existence with. She'd wished she'd trusted him, believed all his assertions of fidelity and devotion.

She'd lived a self-imposed exile of lost love and lost chances. She and Bella had both run away from the most significant men in their lives—away from happiness. Because of their fathers.

OOO

Sunday morning, Bella hadn't been clubbing since she'd returned, and all the chores and washing were done. Marie sat on the kitchen bench, stirring pancake batter for breakfast, since Bella was trying to do more together things with her special girl.

When they'd finished eating, a knock on the door rapped. Bella kissed Marie's cheek while she lifted her off her stool. "Go brush your teeth, Marie, and we'll go to the park as soon as I get dressed."

"Yippee!" she scooted down the hall like a scampering cartoon, making Bella laugh as she opened the door to... Edward!

He stood stiffly, holding a pink bouquet at his chest. Dark jeans and a crisp, buttoned-up shirt, his hair neat. "G'day."

"H... hi." Bella gawked into the hall mirror. Chaotic ponytail she'd worn to bed, panda eyes, and a stretched-out Garfield nightie. "Crikey."

He passed her the bunch of peonies with a wink. "I asked for the opposite of dandelions."

"Wha...?" She was more in love with him than ever. More terrified than ever. He could break her like crystal. But she'd learnt from Nan's mistake and wouldn't push him away anymore. "Thank you."

"No worries. Being away from yous has been killing me. I'm staying at a motel down the road, and I got a job as a bouncer."

Emotion caught in her throat. He'd abandoned Wattle Creek? For Marie? "W-what?"

"I'm not like your dad, Bella. Wherever you and Marie are, that's where I'll be. Okay? I'm here to help, not hinder or harass you if you see other blokes or shit."

She swung the door fully open and stepped aside to show a pile of boxes and suitcases against the wall of the lounge room. "My friend and her mum are gonna rent this place off me. Our removalist truck will be here in two days." Her voice hardly worked. "We're going home."

"Home?"

"To Maryknoll. To be near you." She could get a floristry job in Orange, breed sheep and make cherry jam every summer. Marie would love it. Marie would never be out of milk. Marie could have her own pony. They'd make Nan's gardens blossom again with vegetables and flowers.

"You were coming to me?"

"We were gonna surprise you. Life's too quick to throw away second chances. I haven't been the best parent I can be, and I feel like I've got a second chance now, too."

His eyes glistened as he nodded, pursing his lips like he was too emotional to talk.

"Muuuuuum! Who at the door?" Marie toddled around the corner and squealed when she saw Edward. "Mummy! You foun' my daddy!"

Bella chuckled through happy-tears.

"Ha! She sure did." Edward's voice cracked while he squatted, holding his hands out to Marie. "And I got you this great big hug."

She ran to him, giggling.

"Thankyou, Nan," Bella whispered. If she hadn't gone in search of the box or read Nan's journal, Marie would've missed out on a wonderful father. If only Nan had known she'd shared a great-grandchild with the love of her life. Or had she noticed Marie's "Cullen" eyes? Had she wondered if her daughter would've looked like Marie if she'd married Carlisle?

"You know, Bella..." Edward stood with Marie still around his neck "...since I was fourteen, I've been naming my animals things that start with B, and I haven't brought myself to part with my old four-bee that we... christened." He swallowed, putting Marie down. "I mean, I built you your jetty coz I had... feelings for you, even back then... If that means anything to you."

He'd never rejected or forgotten her. "Uh!" Bella sprung into his arms, flinging her legs around his waist and kissing his instant grin. "That means everything to me!"