Belle curled her body up into a ball, holding her knee's to her chest. She didn't care that it had been a month without Rumple, it still hurt and she knew it always would. She sniffled and pulled the blanket up and over her head as she heard the door open.
"Belle," Ruby's voice echoed into the bedroom softly.
Belle's only response was to pull the covers tighter around her; she didn't want to talk, she knew Ruby was just trying to take care of her and had been since Rumplestiltskin's death, but really, she just wanted to block out the world and never talk to anyone, even her best friend, ever again.
Ruby sighed as she sat on the bed, "Belle," she repeated, "Please, come and eat something at least, it's been days," and upon getting no response she pulled the covers down so she could see her friend's face, "Honey, please. I'm worried about you. This isn't you. You're stronger than this."
Belle's eyes shone with tears, "I know," she whispered, shaking her head, "But maybe I'm not anymore," she finished.
It broke Ruby's heart to see her friend like this; Belle was one of the strongest women she knew and to see her completely broken was heart wrenching. She'd never seen her like this, Belle was a woman who never gave up, who always fought, in any given situation. She wanted forever to be a hero, not realising that most people already saw her as one. At the same time, she knew Belle needed to cry. She was lost, she'd stay in bed all day and not eat or even talk, but the one thing she wasn't doing that Ruby knew was a part of the grieving process was to cry.
"You are," Ruby insisted, reaching a hand to touch Belle's hair, "You're just a little lost right now but if you let your friends, let me, take care of you, you will be okay again."
Belle looked up at her friend, "I don't want to be okay," she snapped, "Not without him."
"Belle – "
"You wouldn't get it," Belle continued in a snarl now as she sat up on her knee's, "You've never known true love, what do you know?"
Ruby couldn't help recoiling at her friends words, "That's not fair, Belle and you know it," she said lowly, "I know you're grieving but that doesn't mean you can be…" she trailed off.
"What?" Belle answered, "A bitch?" she sighed and flopped back onto the bed, avoiding her friends gaze and staring at the ceiling.
"I want to help," Ruby persisted, "I love you."
"You don't know what love is," Belle shot back.
Ruby frowned, "You're trying to bait me," she realised, her eyebrows shooting up.
Belle shrugged.
"This whole time…you've known this whole time," Ruby shook her head, "I won't be your rebound, Belle, you don't know what the hell you're feeling," she tried, really tried not to raise her voice, "It's just transference, you know that."
Belle reached for Ruby's hand, and how could she deny her grieving friend and pull away, so she didn't. But this was too much, this was wrong, it had only been a month and her friend was not in a good place. It would be taking advantage, Ruby knew that.
"Belle, I…" she faltered, "I don't know what you want from me."
The other woman shrugged, "I don't want to be alone," she whispered, tracing her thumb over the back of Ruby's hand.
"You're not alone," Ruby pointed out, "I am here. And your friends, hell the whole town misses you, we all want to be here for you if you'd just let us."
"That's not what I mean and you know it," Belle replied quietly.'
Ruby closed her eyes for a moment, before frowning as she opened them, "Belle, this has always been one way and you know it. That doesn't just change – "
Belle sat up again and pulled her hand away from Ruby to cross them over her chest, shifting her position as she clenched her jaw, staring at the blankets below her.
"now. You miss Rumple, you loved him. But you can't just decide now you want – "
Belle huffed, "I'm not just deciding," she interjected, "I always had feelings for you, you idiot. I loved Rumple, of course I did, but while we were cursed and you and I became close… ," she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, "It wasn't just one way," she whispered, "I didn't deserve him," she finally said the four words that had been on her mind for a long, long time and with it came a flood of tears as she flew into her friend's chest, feeling her arms encircle her. Of course she wasn't ready for anything but Ruby's arms were the place she felt the safest and after finally getting that burden off her chest, she just needed to cry for a while. Maybe then, she could start to pick up the pieces and figure out how to move on without Rumple.
