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Dylan Crabb

Nefarious Fauxpod Fan-Fiction (Lost Parody)

March 19, 2010

The Island

May 15, 2010, 8:12 am

The computer screen flickered on. The mouse moved to the Firefox icon, which animated and opened a new browser window. The mouse highlighted the URL and it was deleted. A new URL was typed in: .com/user/nanalew. The page appeared with a video at the front, which revealed a very attractive brunette girl of approximately 19 (or at least that's the age she looked). The video played and tears dripped on the keyboard. ''Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are now ready for take-off and all electronic devices must turned off at this time.''

Shawna closed her MacBook and placed it under her seat, wiping her eyes.

I'm so talented, she said to herself.

The plane began speeding up on the runway until it lifted up into the air climbing to 35,000 feet.

10:38 am

''Adam, would you stop?'' Shawna yelled. ''Your such a pig!''

''Aw, come on, Shawna. It's still at least an hour to Sydney. Just for a few minutes?''

''Those few minutes would like an hour in Hell, Adam. Now, let go of me!''

A flight attendant came by. ''Is there a problem here?''

Adam quickly took his arm away from Shawna. ''No problem.''

The attendant walked away and Adam immediately put his arm around Shawna again.

Shawna sighed. ''I can't believe we're friends.''

11:07 am

The plane jerked a few times, was calm, then jerked more violently. Shawna noticed the seatbelt light go on above her. Then the captain spoke through the intercom.

''Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Just letting you know that we're gonna go through a rough spot so just sit tight and it will be over really quick.''

A moment passed and the rough bouncing increased. Shawna was literally jumping out of her seat.

There was a loud bang to Shawna's left. She looked out her window to see one of the turbines in flames. The plane began loosing altitude rapidly; everyone was screaming at this point.

Shawna looked around the passengers and just saw panic all around. She looked out her window again and saw the ocean getting closer and closer until water finally splashed across he side of the plane.

Jake got up out of the seat next to her and unhooked his seat cushion (which doubled as a flotation device).

He motioned to his friends and ran down the walkway. ''Come on!''

Shawna, Adam, and Zach all unhooked their seat cushions and followed Jake to an emergency door. There was a kit hanging next to it, which Jake slung over his shoulder. He then squeezed the red lever and tried to push the door open, but it wouldn't budge.

''Help me, Guys!'' he ordered and they leaned against the door. It was forced open and a jet of water rushed into the plane, knocking them back against the seats.

There was another bang behind them and the plane was ripped in half. The four friends clapped their hands together so as to not separate and were pulled down deeper into the blue.

People were scrambling for the surface, kicking and paddling. Jake noticed a red tape on the emergency kit he had grabbed. He tugged on it and a raft inflated instantly, which pulled them toward the surface. Shawna, however, lost her grip and was left behind.

Jake, Adam, and Zach all came up in the inflatable raft but Jake dove back in and saw Shawna kicking for the surface. They locked hands and came up together where Adam grabbed them by the shirt collars and swung them into the dingy.

More and more people started to come up. A few people almost swamped the dingy, begging to get on, but it was barely staying afloat with four people.

11:42 am

They had hand-paddled the dingy to nearby island. Only a handful of other survivors had made it.

Jake was the first to get up. He dragged each of his friends farther on shore so the tide wouldn't bother them. He decided to let them rest as he looked around. He noticed two survivors fighting on the beach and went over to see what it was about.

''Hey, what's going on here?'' Jake asked.

''Go ahead!'' one of them yelled angrily. ''Tell him I crashed the plane, huh!'' He was dark skinned with a Middle-Eastern accent and long black hair.

The other guy turned to face Jake while pointing at the Middle-Eastern. ''This guy was sitting in the back of the plane the entire with a death grip on his bag! Tell me that doesn't suspicious!''

''The only thing it's suspicious of is you being a racist bastard!''

''Oh, shut up, Osama!''

''Hey!'' Jake stepped in. ''They're two ways this plays out. One, you can let it go and help us out until we're rescued. Even if he did cause the crash, what are you gonna do, kill him? Two, you can make some enemies right away and be shunned. What's it gonna be?''

The guy started laughing hysterically. ''Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood?''

He started walking away mocking Jake. ''What's it gonna be? Give me a break.''

Jake turned to the Middle-Eastern. ''You okay?''

''Yeah, just angry, I despise intolerant people. He extended his hand in a welcoming gesture. ''I'm Jer`ad, Jerad Hussein.''

Jake accepted the handshake. ''Jake Sidwell.''

12:28 pm

Shawna was already suffering from Internet withdrawal and she often handled it by reciting lines from random videos of hers on YouTube.

Adam hadn't hit on Shawna since the plane, which was very unusual for a wannabe ladies' man like him.

Zach was trying to make the situation a little lighter by cracking jokes but they weren't particularly good.

Jake was trying to help out survivors and make everything better.

How will the Fauxpoders possibly survive this nightmare? Tune in next time for another exciting installment of The Island.

To be continued…