The Devil's Trumpet

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Summary: I killed her so easily. I wonder now though… did I kill her too soon? The aftermath of Kabuto's actions has left him irritatingly hanging. What can a twisted man do when he's left with nothing? Companion/Sequel to Amaranth. KabutoOC.

Insomniac: Mm.. This fic is considerably a lot darker than Amaranth due to Kabuto's nature. Wow. Late night instrumental music can do that to you I suppose. The first chapter is Kabuto's reflections from Amaranth as a re-cap/introduction. Reading Amaranth is not necessary but it may help for this to make sense. Stay tuned for future chapters. Beta'd by Sckitzo.

Tidbit: Devil's Trumpet is a plant that can pull anyone into a dangerous illusion and not simply just warping the senses, thus disconnecting its user from the real world. Taking too much can be deadly.

Enjoy!

Words – Kabuto "talking" to Ren in his head

/Words/ - Kabuto flashback conversation

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Disclaimer: No, I do not own anything. A sleep-deprived tanuki threatened to eat me if I said I did.

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Probable Cause: Ingesting the Devil's Trumpet

I have always been fascinated with what it is that make people so reckless, so passionate. And sometimes, so vulnerably truthful.

I suppose this all started when I came across the local herbalist of Konoha in the forest one day. Ren. That was her name.

I've come to visit her shop as a habit before the chunin exams. I never really noticed her because of all the madness that comes through her shop during those times. We finally met in the woods that one fateful day, the both of us coincidentally looking for toadstools. I had no doubt that she could have become a brilliant healer. The methods and remedies she shared with me that day still prove useful to me. Her grace with treating wounds was almost embedded into her being. She was sweet but cautious.

And yet, your former wariness did not save you from me.

It's a waste, really. You were such a pretty one.

Without realizing it, this foolish and naïve girl saved me from exposure more than once by taking me into her home and dressing the wounds that I could have healed myself. She never questioned me and I was satisfied with the peace she shared with me. Unfortunately, the events of the last chunin exams I attended complicated things.

You discovered who I was.

More than that, she caught me stealing from her shop. I didn't kill her that day. I had no reason to. Her shop and her hospitality provided me with much convenience. I guess you could say that I was paying my miniscule debt to her by sparing her life.

Though I'm not sure why it ached to see her shocked and betrayed face when she found me. At the time however, I had to distract her somehow. To keep her from screaming or running away. To keep me from taking her life then and there in case she did.

The moment I stepped forward, I pulled her close and kissed her. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It would silence her and distract her long enough for me to put her to sleep. I remember how her face flushed in a way that betrayed her every emotion.

That had to be her greatest flaw.

Her face was an open book while her eyes were an even bigger window to her very being. Still, that one little kiss must have been my first mistake.

Just as I promised to myself, I repaid my debt to her. After that day, I had no intention of returning to her ever again. I can only imagine what I must have felt was I when I wronged myself by doing so. For a lack of a better reason for my actions, I can only say that I missed her.

I wanted to see her smile at me and laugh like she used to. I wanted to listen to her talk and to feel her warmth against my lips once more. More than that, I was curious.

So deathly curious about her…

I wanted to see how easy it would be to break her, to feel her warm blood pulsating underneath my fingertips, to have her life in my hands. I wanted her face to flush like it did and to see the turmoil storming in her lucid gray eyes. Perhaps, I also wanted to see how much this infuriatingly kind and weak-willed heart can withstand.

Did you know that you were such a fragile porcelain doll?

Going back to her was my second error.

Returning to visit her was a stupid whim. She knew of my identity. If she had been more sensible that I thought her to be, she would have no doubt reported my casual visits to the authorities. Had I been wiser than I believed myself to be, I would not have gone back. I suppose I misjudged the both of us.

On that tentative meeting however, she did not fail to surprise me. She actually tried to kill me. How delightful. It was clear however that her skill was not enough however to match mine as she halted the medic needle from striking the same nerve I had used against her at our last encounter.

For a moment, I wondered if I had to fight her then, disappointing me if I had to kill her. I would not have the time to study her out of my own sickening curiosity. I half expected her to attack me again or even simply run away. Either way, I would have caught her for my own amusement, for my growing thirst to see what was reflecting behind those cloudy eyes of hers.

I almost secretly craved to see fear within her gray orbs. To taste her fear of me.

However, twice in one night, she surprised me.

Her lovely face was a painting of emotions but it was her eyes who divulged her. Genuine relief and hurt shone through her clear gray orbs despite the anger, hate, and disgust that worried her visage. And yes, there was fear. However, it was the wrong kind of terror that I had been expecting.

You were afraidfor me.

It piqued my interest.

Almost tauntingly, I kissed her again to see how she'd react. And instead of running away or even retaliating against me as I predicted, she proceeded to break down in my arms. I resisted laughing at just how vulnerable she really was.

You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, did you? Such a silly sweet doll…

Only moments ago, she was berating me for what I had done and what I had involved her in. Without me expecting it, she burst out into tears. She was either really brave or really stupid to trust me to keep her in my hold as I did that night. Other than that, she kept me secret still. Even after discovering my name. But for what reason?

Ren's reaction to my return was probably what puzzled me the most and further cut deeper into the mistake that I already made by visiting her. She was worried for me even after I had betrayed her. She was seeking comfort in the arms of a traitor. A killer. A monster.

Had our prior relationship been that valuable to her? I shook my head in confusion. Was this girl in her right mind?

Against my better judgment, I stayed with her through the night. Her questionable wisdom must be contagious. I was forced to soothe her aching heart to relieve myself from the image of her tear-streaked face etched into my brain. It was better than that unfamiliar gnawing feeling inside I got as I watched her cry. It was that same gnawing feeling that crawled into my chest after the first time I kissed her. And to be honest, I despised that feeling with great bitterness.

And I despised you even more for being the reason behind it.

It was almost as if a silent pact was settled between us after my return. She told no one of my visits and I continued to study her shrouded feelings instead of silencing her. With our distorted relationship, I had made one silent request as a price. It was simple enough.

Never trust me.

What a complicated mess this turned out to be. I trusted her but at the same time I didn't. Just as she trusted me and at the same time, she didn't. Our very relationship denied all reason. I used her as a supplier but what benefit could she have had for harboring a rogue ninja? If logic were to speak, she was actually putting herself in more danger, from both me and Konoha.

And yet, this strange relationship was formed with a caution. The moment someone fully gave their trust to the other was the moment where time would stop for just a single second before changing gears to a new hour. The moment someone gives themselves up completely to the other would be a sign of death for one of the two.

This was our unspoken contract.

I asked her if she trusted me more than once before. In the beginning, her fervent denials were honest and true, reassuring me of her blind devotion to our crafted 'friendship'. She would repeat to question to me and I would return her answer to her without holding a breath. She was so easy to tease.

It wasn't until a few weeks earlier did I notice the conflicting thoughts that shone behind her eyes and the self-doubt that would mar her face. Her voice, although sure, rejected me of her trust. But her desperately falling eyes and trembling touch however, showed her urge to give such a delicate thing to me. It seemed that she was not so vulnerable to my sweet lies and deceptive embrace.

Was it truly that easy for her to fall for a dream? A mere illusion? Perhaps, I had truly fooled her into thinking that our incomprehensible relationship was growing into something more –the twisted beginnings of love.

You foolish girl. Look at what you have done.

It was her fatal slip-up but I had allowed her to live for the mean time. She would be the one to sign her death sentence the moment she comes to realize the horrible truth of our broken promise. Unfortunately, I would be the one to execute the consequences.

Her actions that night kept bringing me back, making me more fascinated with the complexity of this purely human heart. She never pushed me away and yet she failed to draw me close on her own. Her sweet face would flush so delightfully from both self-loathing and shy embarrassment at my teasing. I could see her buried hatred for me, bleeding through her desperate expectations from me. She would always recoil from my touch but never refuted my advances.

Her conflicting emotions mystified me to not end. Nothing about this whole situation made sense. The heart that I knew was nothing more than a muscle with four chambers that pumped life throughout a body. Her heart was different. Her proverbial heart was made out of glass, filled with an ocean of sentiments that was beyond my comprehension. This fragile heart was what she entrusted into my cold and ruthless hands before I crushed it mercilessly the moment she told me what she meant by doing such an act.

I needed her to deny my suspicions that night. I wished that she could still keep her porcelain heart and we would still have our time together. I hoped that I had satisfied her desire for warmth and comfort enough to drown whatever confession she might have thought about of admitting. And yet, it seemed like I had fueled the fire instead.

It was your fault. You broke our agreement...

Perhaps, she was mistaken.

/"Do you trust me?" I asked./

/"No," she replied automatically./

/I smirked at her answer, momentarily satisfied. "Good."/

No, she was well aware of what she had said.

You ended this false peace we shared.

She knew whom she had given her sentiments to. Her forsaken love.

/She suddenly turned to me with forlorn eyes. I held my breath, my chest clenching in anticipation. 'Don't do it,' I mentally screamed at her./

/"Gomen ne," she uttered so meekly./

/"What for?"/

/"I lied."/

/Rage burned behind my eyes. Insolent girl!/

It's a shame really.

It was you who broke our obscured pact.

How is it that this girl has managed to fall in love with a complete stranger? More or less the enemy and his bloodied hands. Did she really think that herlove would be enough to change me? To sway me in her favor? Such reckless ignorance.

It infuriated me to no end. How dare she! How dare she fall victim to her silly dreams, to my insincere promises, and to our shared delusion? How could she even think that she would be enough for me?

I miscalculated my time toying with her, dare I say, emotions. I believed her to be smarter than to fall for my manipulations. Instead, she drew herself deeper into my warped and fabricated lies, so much as to believe what we had agreed in the beginning not to. How could she want or expect any more?

The price of her mistake came swiftly. Her tiny frame was warm that night. Her eyes, filled with mistaken hope and a quiet acceptance for the betrayal we committed against each other. The blade slipped into her body so effortlessly. The blood that I have been waiting for was slowly washing my hand from the deed. The very hand that had held her life from the start.

You should have never trusted me.

Heartbreak was evident in her eyes, inadvertently killing the dream we shared that I now grew to detest. I could only imagine which of her two deaths was more painful. Her ruptured heart or her pierced stomach? Her wet eyes only affirmed my first guess. How could I not scorn her? Even in death, she made no sense.

I killed her so easily. I wonder now though… did I kill her too soon?

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