Title: Military Ball
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Light Royai theme, but the story doesn't focus on them and is more of a 'Gen' fic than a 'Het' fic.
Reference: Manga
Type: Gen, light het, humor, new years fic
Warnings: language
Summary: The fuhrer decides it would be good for Ed to attend the military ball, but will it be good for everyone else?

Edit: As mentioned above, I reference the manga in this fic. If you've only seen the first anime and not read the manga or seen Brotherhood, then you're going to be confused as to why Wrath is the Fuhrer and not Pride. Manga/Brotherhood Fuhrer is Wrath; First anime Fuhrer is pride.

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Military Ball

1/3

New Year's Eve

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Ed pulled uncomfortably on his tie and shifted nervously, making the snow beneath his feet crunch. He didn't have a car, so he was stuck walking in this miserable weather, to attend a military function he had to go to, while he could be researching their newest lead.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Ed muttered darkly to himself as he began walking again. He'd never been required to attend this yearly ball thing before. Of course, that was probably because people thought that having a twelve-year-old there might cause some sort of disturbance. But he was sixteen now, and for some reason the fuhrer had decided that he was old enough to attend, and that he was missing out on learning proper etiquette and all that bullshit.

Ed had tried to get out of going, but had agreed to attend when Colonel Mustang mentioned there would be a lot of delicious food available. Free food was a huge plus in his book, especially when it was good free food.

He turned the corner and had a view of the large building where the ball was taking place. It was an old building, but lavishly designed and decorated, and was normally used for such fine gatherings as was to be held tonight.

Such a waste, Ed thought, scratching irritably at his suit jacket. The extravagance wasn't needed, in his opinion. The money being spent on this could go to other things that would be of more worth; like feeding the poor, for example, or funding scientific projects dedicated to bettering mankind. Hell just dividing up the cost and giving it out as a year end bonus to everyone would be better.

As he got closer, Ed could see people getting out of their cars and valets getting in said cars to park them. Women were elegantly clad in colorful and extravagant dresses, and the men all looked almost identical in their black suits, white shirts, and black ties. The dress for the men had been set by the fuhrer; and to Ed, it seemed as if they were still in uniform, only they were camouflaged for some new mission—which was to fool their female counterparts, and society as a whole, into thinking they were civil human beings.

Ed scowled and pulled at his own black tie. He liked to look different, and being dressed just like everyone else made him feel a little uneasy. Besides, suits were uncomfortable, and not very durable, especially in a fight.

He scanned the crowd outside the entrance to see if he knew anyone. There were a few faces that looked somewhat familiar, but they were people he'd seen in the cafeteria or in passing and he really didn't know them.

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, then, "Chief! You made it!" Ed turned to see Lieutenant Havoc standing behind him with a cheesy grin and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"Of course," Ed replied. "I had to come."

Havoc laughed and patted his back before starting up the stairs toward the entrance. "I'm sure you've lived through worse." Ed rolled his eyes and quickly caught up to Havoc to walk beside him.

"Is there anything specific I have to do, or can I just stand by the food all night?" Ed asked, scratching at his suit again.

"Invitations, gentlemen," a man standing by the door said in a stiffly polite tone.

Havoc produced his immediately, while Ed scrambled a bit to find where he'd stuffed his. He glanced over to the other doorkeeper and noticed that the women he was talking to had an elegant-looking booklet attached to a red rope that was tied nicely around her wrist. The other doorkeeper took a look at the card and let her through.

Ed grunted as he found his invitation and produced the crumpled paper for the doorman to see. The doorkeeper didn't seem too impressed by his obvious lack of propriety, but politely invited them both inside with a request that they both enjoy themselves.

As they walked into the large foyer, Ed could hear the sounds of many people talking and music from the ballroom beyond. He stuffed the paper back in his pocket before pulling off his coat and giving it to one of the men at the coat check station.

Ed looked back at Havoc and asked, "How come the women have their invitations tied around their wrists?"

Havoc, who had been looking around, glanced down at him and smiled. "They're not only invitations, but they're also dance cards." (1)

"Dance cards?" Ed asked, feeling a little confused.

"If you want to dance with a specific woman, you ask her if she can write you in on her dance card. If it's already full, she'll tell you so, but if not, then she can put you in for a specific dance slot." Havoc seemed quite enamored by the idea. Ed thought it just seemed like a good excuse for women to not dance with you. After all, if they didn't like you, all they'd have to do is say that their card was full.

"But you have to be careful," Havoc went on. "The color of the cord around their wrists tells you a lot." He pointed to an older woman who had a golden colored cord. "She's married and is not open to dances from other men. You just don't ask them."

Havoc pointed to a woman with a silver cord. "She's either married or engaged, but is okay with being asked to dance as long as it is by someone she knows. Usually friends, or relatives." He looked around, then motioned toward a woman with a red cord. "She's unmarried and looking. Their cards tend to fill up fast. Aaaaaand..." He paused while he sought what he wanted, then said with a nod toward another woman with a blue cord, "She's unmarried and not looking, but open to dance invitations, and... well, I can't see one right now, but if the cord is green that means they're unmarried and they don't want to be asked to dance."

Ed stared around at the women in the large foyer and felt a little overwhelmed by the sea of colored cords. What a pain! "Is there anything else I should know," Ed asked.

Havoc nodded. "The punch in the smooth, crystal bowls have alcohol, so you'll want to stick to the jaded crystal bowls. Also, avoid the drinks the servers carry around. It's wine and champagne."

Ed nodded as he tried to remember everything. "And?"

"No swearing, and be polite to everyone. It doesn't matter if you're mortal enemies; you have to treat everyone with civility here." Ed moved through the crowd, frowning deeply. He was not thrilled with being forced to be nice to people he didn't like.

When they entered the ballroom, Ed's eyes widened as he took in the huge area. There was a band playing music at one end of the room, and a dance floor next to that. At the other end of the ballroom, there were long tables at each side of the room filled with the most delicious looking food Ed had ever seen. There were smaller round tables near the long food tables where people were sitting and standing as they socialized and ate.

"Is there anything else I have to remember?" Ed asked, his mouth watering at the sight of the food.

Havoc looked down at him thoughtfully, then suddenly grinned. "You have to ask at least three women to dance."


Roy Mustang took a sip of his champagne and glanced around the enormous ballroom. He loved these end of the year ballroom parties. He got a chance to dance with numerous women, drink fine wine and champagne, and socialize with the higher ranks—something that was useful in making connections he could use later.

He tapped his foot to the beat the band was setting, then stopped when he heard a loud, "WHAT?!" shouted across the ballroom. The noise in the room quieted considerably and people looked over to the entrance where the yell had originated.

Roy languidly took another sip before glancing over to the entrance. It wasn't necessary for him to look. He knew who was making the ruckus, and when his eyes fixed on his sixteen-year-old subordinate, Roy's lips curled up into a small smile at the fact that he was right. He'd heard the kid shout and yell far too many times to not know.

Ed glanced around and flushed darkly at the stares he was getting, then turned to Lieutenant Havoc and began speaking quickly. Havoc made a shrugging gesture as if to indicate he couldn't do anything about what Ed was saying.

The crowd finally returned to its normal volume, but Roy still watched the two. Ed had gone a little pale and was now looking at the crowd with a look of unmistakable terror. Roy took another sip and made a mental note to ask Havoc later what this was all about.

"He knows how to make a scene, doesn't he?" a smooth female voice said to his right. Roy turned his head and saw that Riza Hawkeye had come up beside him without him noticing her. He took a moment to appreciate the sight before him. She was wearing a long golden-colored dress. It was simple in its design, yet elegant, and it showed her curves in a most delicious manner. The neckline was scooped, yet not so far that he could see her cleavage—a fact that disappointed him a little—and the sleeves were long and became wider at her wrists so that they flowed gracefully when she moved her arms.

Her hair was clipped up, but in a style that allowed her hair to flow stylishly down her neck. Her lips and cheeks held a hint of color—something Roy rarely got to see on her—and, most importantly, the color of the cord on her dance card was blue this year, not green. He'd never known her to choose any other color than green, so this pleased him to no end and he was determined to ask for a slot on her card as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

"Hopefully, that will be the biggest scene he makes," Roy said wryly. He glanced back to the entrance and saw that both Havoc and Ed had moved on. "I personally think that eighteen would be a better age to begin coming to this type of a function, but the fuhrer insisted." Though, if Roy had his way, Ed wouldn't start coming to military balls until he was thirty, just to be sure he could act like an adult.

A server carrying wine and champagne passed by them and Riza motioned to him before relieving him of one of his champagne glasses. She thanked him, took a sip, then turned to Roy. "I think this will be good for Edward."

"That may be so," Roy said smoothly with a smile. "But will it be good for the rest of us?" She gave him a look that seemed to tell him to be patient and his smile widened. The mood between them was good and he thought now would be the perfect time to ask for a spot on her dance card.

He opened his mouth, but was cut off by Maes Hughes's boisterous greeting. "Roy! Riza!" Roy turned and worked to keep his smile the same given that he was not exactly pleased at Maes's timing. He stepped forward and shook Maes's hand.

"Maes," he greeted, then turned to Maes's wife and gently took her hand in his and said, "Gracia" with a small nod of his head.

She was wearing a cream colored dress with a neckline cut low enough that Roy could just see the beginning of her cleavage. He refrained from staring, however, given that Maes would not be too pleased. He took note of the golden cord around her wrist as a matter of habit.

The four of them engaged in pleasantries for a moment before Gracia and Riza moved off to talk. Maes stood closer and grinned. "I see that Riza has a blue cord this year."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Roy said dryly.

"You should ask her to dance," Maes said, nudging him a little.

Roy gave his friend a doleful look and said, "I'll keep that in mind."

Maes's grin widened and he said playfully, "You like her. You know you do."

Roy took a drink, then said evenly, "She's my subordinate." He wasn't about to confide his feelings for Riza Hawkeye just yet, especially not to Maes. If he did, his friend would goad him to no end, which could become annoying and troublesome. Not only that, but he didn't want to face the humiliation if it didn't work out.


Maes glanced over at his wife, then at Riza. He was of the personal opinion that Riza Hawkeye would make a great wife for Roy, but he'd been reminded several times by Gracia that it was none of his business. If Riza wanted to start dating then she would, and if Roy wanted to settle down and find a wife, then he would.

It wasn't that he didn't believe the two of them were capable of taking care of themselves where love was concerned, but he just knew the two of them would be perfect for each other and sometimes people needed a little... push... in the right direction.

He grinned. Maybe if they saw how cute his daughter was they'd want one of their own. Turning to Roy, Maes said, "You want to see some pi—"

"No," Roy said quickly.

Maes frowned. "You didn't even let me finish."

"I didn't need to."

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the right approach. He'd think of something. Glancing around, Maes smiled brightly when he saw who was helping himself to the food at one of the far serving tables.

"Is that Ed?" he asked in delight.

"Unfortunately," Roy said flatly, then glanced at his watch and said, "I have a dance. I'll talk to you later."

Maes watched Roy wander off, then turned and headed toward Ed. It was sort of cute to see the kid dressed in a suit and tie. His normally braded hair was gathered at the nape of his neck by a black cord, and the white gloves he was wearing looked very fashionable with his attire. His only regret was that he didn't have a camera, as he was unsure if he'd ever get a chance to see Ed dressed this way in the future.

"Ed!" Maes said boisterously when he was close enough. The boy turned while popping a shrimp in his mouth.

"Hughes!" Ed said around the food.

"You enjoying the party?"

"No... It's fuc—" He stopped, then said simply, "It's boring."

Maes grinned, amused to see Ed trying to moderate his language. "Do they have anything good this year?" he asked, sampling one of the small, bite-sized cakes.

"Hell yeah!" Ed said, then cringed. "I mean, yes, they do..."

Maes nodded. The food was always good at these parties and he usually tried to sneak a bit of it out for later. Gracia had caught him once and he'd had to sit through her going on about how it was improper and embarrassing. He still did it though. They were just going to throw the leftovers away, so why not?

"Do I really have to ask at least three women to dance?" Ed asked suddenly.

Maes blinked in surprise. "Where did you hear that?"

"Havoc," Ed replied. "He was telling me about this whole ball thing and said I have to ask at least three women to dance."

Maes schooled his features so that he didn't start laughing. Trust Havoc to play a joke like that on Ed. Though... now that he thought about it, the idea wasn't a bad one. It would actually get the kid to do something other than haunt the serving tables.

"I'm sorry, but unless you're married, it really is mandatory," Maes lied easily. The dismayed look on Ed's face was so comical that Maes had to turn and pretend he was looking around so that his smile wasn't too obvious. He caught sight of Gracia and waved her over. "I have a wonderful idea," he said. "Gracia, my dear, how would you feel about taking Ed out on the dance floor for a trial dance?"

She looked a little surprised, but smiled when she looked at Ed and said, "I'd love to."

"But... you have a gold cord," Ed pointed out, then looked at Maes. "Is it alright?"

Maes nodded and looked at Gracia when she said, "Well, that's for everyone else, but I'll make an exception for you."

Ed looked pleased and a little relieved at this, then suddenly seemed at a loss again. Leaning over, Maes whispered, "Offer her your arm, like this." He showed Ed what to do, then added, "And be sure to compliment her on her dress. Women like that."

Nodding, Ed walked over to Gracia and offered his arm to her. She looked at Maes, smiled, then threaded her arm through Ed's and they started walking toward the dance floor.


Envy watched from behind a curtain as their small sacrifice stepped out onto the dance floor with some woman. He sighed, then turned and looked to where Lust was watching the crowd from another slit in the curtain.

"This is ridiculously boring," Envy said. "I don't see why we have to be here."

"Because we were told to," Lust said, unperturbed.

"It still seems like a waste—" He broke off when Lust put her hand up.

"I'm supposed to watch from afar, Wrath is supposed to mingle as the host of this party, and you are supposed to be making some sort of contact with our sacrifice and possible sacrificial candidate. Or have you forgotten?"

With a resigned look on his face, Envy changed his form to that of a lovely young woman with pale, creamy skin, and green eyes who could be anywhere from sixteen to twenty-one years old. His long black hair was soft and full now, with wide curls and ribbons. The dress he wore was a light-green dress that was bordered in grey and seemed to shimmer softly in the light.

"How do I look?" he asked, admiring himself in a mirror.

"Lovely," Lust said in a flat, businesslike tone. "Now get out there." He gave a mocking curtsey, then headed out for the party.


1. How I'll be using the dance cards in this story is not historically accurate. while I did use some history for the idea, some of what will be indicated is purely fictional.

Originally I'd only planned for this to be a oneshot, but it got so long that I decided to split it up into three chapters. The last of which will be posted on New Year's Eve (which was when I'd originally planned on posting the whole thing.

Don't expect deep plot with this. It's more for some light hearted fun. I hope you enjoy.

Comments are always appreciated.