Disclaimer: xxxHolic, no matter how much I want it, will never belong to me. cries
8.6.08
I'm sorry.
Doumeki stared at the two elegantly printed words on an otherwise blank index card. He had been sitting on his knees for a good hour or so, doing nothing but re-reading the two damning words on that stupid index card underneath a large sakura tree, blind to the soft pink petals silently drifting down around him, or the savory aroma of his now cold bento.
His bento. With effort, Doumeki literally tore his gaze away from the horrible index card to the still full bento box that was sitting innocently and quietly beside him. Reaching out a hand a hand that definitely wasn't shaking, he lightly touched the black lacquer with its beautiful golden printed lotus that adorned the upper right hand corner of the box. The burn of tears suddenly flared as Doumeki was thrown back into a loved memory, the day Kimihiro, his Kimihiro, had given him the beautiful box.
...
"Here. Take it," Watanuki muttered, a pretty light pink blush dusting his high cheekbones. "It's for you."
Doumeki briefly froze in place, eyes slightly widened at the unexpected gift and mouth watering at the delicious aroma that originated from the obviously new bento box. Doumeki was…surprised. Although he and Watanuki had been dating for exactly one year, he didn't really expect anything like this. Well, a lunch, yes, but not a lunch in an obviously pricey and precious box.
"This is your mother's," Doumeki stated, serious eyes gazing intently into Watanuki's mismatched eyes. Seeing those eyes was a bittersweet moment. Never would he forget Watanuki's sacrifice for him, nor would he ever forget Watanuki accepting his sacrifice. That moment, out of all others, including when he shot that gentle lady Watanuki had so deeply cared for, stood out the most. That moment was when their relationship changed in a way neither of them fully realized until one year ago.
"I know that! Don't you think I know that?" Watanuki fumed, the familiar and cherished look of annoyance brightening his eyes and causing his pale complexion to turn a lovely shade of red.
"It's her most prized possession." And yours, but the words went unspoken.
Calmer now, Kimihiro nodded, his eyes never straying from Doumeki's slightly confused and apprehensive countenance. "I…it's important to me, yes. It's very important to me…"he trailed off, looking away from Doumeki for the first time. The angry red flush was gone now, leaving the pretty pink blush in its place. Doumeki's eyes widened as comprehension dawned. Having befriended and cared for his friend, now lover, for so long, he was able to read the unspoken message, "It's important to me…and you're important to me".
Keeping a stoic face despite his inner desire to let loose and grin like a madman, Doumeki reached out and clasped the precious box, now precious to them both, in both hands, his larger hands easily encompassing Watanuki's smaller and more delicate pale hands.
"What…?" Watanuki wasn't able to finish his surprised question as Doumeki gently pulled him forward and gently touched his lips to Watanuki's. Surprised, Watanuki nevertheless wasted no time in returning the gentle and sweet embrace. For what seemed like hours, but was only a few seconds, the two stood there, locked in the most gentle and loving kiss they had ever shared, the beautiful bento box held between them.
"Thank you, Kimihiro," Doumeki whispered, his golden eyes staring deeply into Watanuki's gold and indigo eyes. A small and shy smile crossed both their faces, three special words going unspoken but already understood and acknowledged.
...
A few days later, Kunogi had walked up to them, a secretive smile on her face as she handed them a plainly wrapped gift. Upon unwrapping it, Doumeki and Watanuki had been surprised and touched (also embarrassed, though Watanuki had fervently denied the fact) to find a picture of the two of them locked in their sweet and loving kiss. That very picture now stood in an engraved silver frame, a gift from Yuuko that had Watanuki poking and prodding it for all things supernatural before he consented to allow the picture to be placed into it, on the dresser next to their bed.
Feeling the phantom touch of lips to his own, the dam finally burst and tears fell from his eyes, gaining in speed and amount as Doumeki clutched the much-loved box tightly to his chest, carefully not disturbing the contents within.
Not a sound emitted from his clenched teeth and thinned lips as Doumeki lost his composure and bent all the way forward, never releasing the smooth black box in his arms. Hundreds of memories of him and Watanuki together from the day they met to the present flashed through his mind. Between tightly shut eyes, Doumeki could see them all in startling clarity. He saw Watanuki's smile, his scowl, his frown, his grin, his anger, his love, his uncertainty, his loneliness, his determination, his fear, his annoyance…he saw everything that everyone else had saw, and everything that only he had seen. Every caress, stroke, touch, and kiss was desperately remembered and felt as Doumeki finally gave up his silence, quiet wrenching sobs torn from his doubled over form.
The slight trembling that had overtaken his frame from when he first arrived at the blossoming sakura tree grew into uncontrolled shaking as Doumeki released his grief and sorrow into the lush green grass that surrounded him.
Never again would he feel Watanuki's touch, never again would he hear Watanuki's voice, whether raised in anger or quiet with love, and never again would he see or touch Watanuki in real life. Most of all, he would never feel Watanuki's gently embracing presence that had surrounded him with warmth and a sense of fulfillment. The box, the oh so treasured box, possessed by Watanuki's mother and then Watanuki himself, before being passed onto Doumeki, contained slight traces of Watanuki himself and so Doumeki crushed the box into himself, his own spirit trying to latch onto Watanuki's. If only he could take what was left of his lover and take it into himself…but that was impossible. Doumeki was once again, alone and the brutal realization of the fact ruthlessly destroyed him inside. Uncaring of the world around him, Doumeki pressed his forehead onto the box and bathed it with his tears as his dulled golden eyes sightlessly focused on the gold image, all sounds gone.
From a small distance behind the hunched figure, Yuuko stood tall, pale skin paler than ever before, crimson eyes turned red from too much crying. Her beautiful butterfly printed white kimono was forever stained with her apprentice's red blood. Long-fingered hands were stained a brilliant red from when she lost her stoic composure and fell to her knees before her dying student. Though she had reached out to his mangled body, in her heart and mind, she knew that it was too late. It had been too late the moment he had been born. It was not the first time, nor the last, but it would definitely be the greatest time she had ever hated hitsuzen. Hitsuzen was what led for Watanuki to be born, and hitsuzen was what led to his premature death. Feeling the dark ache that threatened to swallow her whole, Yuuko closed her eyes and deeply bowed to the grieving figure under the beautiful sakura tree before turning around and walking away.
Something beloved and important had been lost, and with it, one life had been destroyed while another life had been further broken. They were wounds that would never heal.
Owari
AN: Another randomly churned out story up! It's a very short one this time, so I apologize to all of you who wanted a longer one. (If any, haha) I seem to take too much enjoyment in killing off one of the characters…too much death lately, I believe. Two of my American shubunkin fish died within days of one another this week and the last. The second one just died two days ago, to my horror. I had just bought that one on Saturday. Let me say, coming home after class and finding out that my new and beloved fish had died was a very unpleasant experience. Straight up bawled like a baby for probably half an hour before my dad came home and I ended up getting another fish before burying that one in the front yard. Now another one seems to be having issues…worries
