Hi Guys. This is my first story on here so im a bit nervous. Please be honest with what you think but onyl constuctive please! its a story based on a real personal subject so it means alot to me. Well let me know what you think okay guys :) thank you ENJOY ! x
Chapter 1: Realization
I took for granted the near perfect life I lived. I didn't fully appreciate the love, the care, and the help my family gave me endlessly. I was naïve to the fact that most children do not get the privileges I get; here I am not referring to material objects but the simpler things in life, like love and kindness. I lay curled up on my bed as tears slowing rolled down my cheeks, sobbing silently to myself, replaying the day my life changed forever, wondering what if.
It was 30th October 2009 and as I stood rigid, I felt my whole body begin to shake. Tears flowed like a fast flowing river from my sore red eyes as I watched. It was the first day of my brother's radiotherapy. I had never really given his condition much thought; my parents never burdened us with the emotional stress. I suppose I knew what was happening but I shielded myself from the pain in an attempt to protect myself, but by that, I became naïve. Carter was so normal; I mean I treated him like I treated my other brother. After so long of shielding myself from pain, it had all built up like a dam and now as I stood here experiencing it first hand and realising what was actually happening, it was like a flood gate had opened up for the river to flow freely. Some say that to see a loved one go through pain is the worst thing for you to experience. You know what, they are so right! It's hard to describe the physical and mental impact the pain had on me, but despite how much I hurt, at that moment I couldn't have given two hoots about me. All I could think was how to help him, to save him. The shock of my brother being on deaths door was astounding, indescribable to someone who has experienced it. Do you know what hurt even more than knowing he was in pain? That this was his last chance. I couldn't imagine a life without him. Every time I look into my parents eyes I see a glassy look create by a thin film of tears that did nothing to mask the sadness that they possessed. My family were fighters. We had been through so much therefore we weren't falling apart at the seams but banding together to stay strong at Carter's time of need.
Before I allowed myself to accept fate, I was selfish. I look back at that person who is so different; I think how I could have become that, allowed myself to behave like that. I'm not talking about commiting crimes or being expelled from school but my nativity and ignorance to reality. I suppose I was in denial. Denying reality; attempting to convince myself that it was all a bad dream. I pushed every thought I had that connected to my brothers illness to the back of my mind. Looking back I suppose, I was trying to shield myself from the pain that I subconsciously knew was lurking around the corner.
Carter has a fast growing brain tumour. To be honest, I don't quite understand his condition fully. I did dare ask my parents; not because I was scared of them but scared to cause them more pain when talking about such an emotionally raw subject. The result of my brother's condition was that he had a short term memory loss, which means he can't remember what he had for breakfast yet he can remember some random thing that happened years ago. Trying not to be pessimistic, I'm glad he can remember the memories of his childhood or our family holidays because it is important to remember how he grew up, his roots and his family. I suppose, I could say that I'm glad he can't remember trivial things if he can remember the things that have value and mean something. I mean if it was a perfect world, I wished he could remember everything but, looking on the bright side, I'm happy he can remember memories that people treasure.
