(3 years later)
Riley:
I woke up that morning and stretched, the taste of intoxication still lingering in my mouth. With my eyes still closed, I smile to myself as I curled up wanting to go back to sleep, but the smell of what was next to me got me up.
"God damnit!" I mumbled as I pushed the lazy sack of a guy lying next to me. "Wake up! God damnit Joe, you know if Frank catches you in here he'll flip."
Joe, with his perfectly tanned skin and rippled muscle that complimented his dark brown hair and matching eyes, finally awoke and stretched out, gazing at me. "I thought you didn't care what Frank thought."
I laughed, "Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you want to keep your job as his stable man, so get the hell out of here!"
He leaned in to kiss me. "One kiss before I go?"
I sighed in disgust; he was cuter when I was drunk. I kissed him on the forehead. "There, now get out of here before you loose your job!"
That finally put a fire under Joe's butt; he dressed himself and snuck out my balcony before I heard Mom or Frank make any noise. I got up and put on a pair of gray pj boxer shorts and a blue tank top, throwing my white robe over myself and made my way down to the kitchen. As I rounded the corner, I could see the only person in the kitchen was the maid, Dalila.
Dalila, Lila for short, was a very beautiful woman in her mid-forties. She had dull red-hair that had random streaks of gray and silver running all the way through it and pale green eyes. Dalila had worked here long before I arrived and I was surprised how wonderful she could be after having worked…well here.
She smiled at me as I came in. "Joe left without getting any breakfast."
I laughed, "Come on Lila, you really think Frank would invite him in with open arms?"
"He's better then some of the others you've dragged over…"
I took a piece of toast from her and smiled. "Come on Dalila…peace and free love it's what it's all about." I walked out onto the patio, taking a bite of my toast as I did. I sat down on a patio chair and light up a smoke, taking a long drag and thinking about things.
"Yes…yes…free love…that doesn't mean you have to love everyone."
I know Dalila sounded like a mother or some kind of maternal figure, but she really wasn't. Dalila got me, better then my "suppose" to be parents did. Dalila was a lot like me when she was my age, hence why she never got married and never had children. She admits some times she's sad, but she's able to do what she wants, no strings attached. I admired that, but of course, I wouldn't choose to spend my free time cleaning someone else's house, but whatever floats your boat I guess.
I moved here three years ago after my father beat me within an inch of my life; trust me I can't forget it, the scar on the side of my head that I hide with my hair won't let me. My mom, Abby, told me when she left my Dad, Earl that she was going to move to New York and make a better life for us; she would send for me when the time was right. Well after what Earl did, the cops hunted her down and she, basically, had no choice, but to take me into her now perfect life with her new husband, Frank Doss.
Frank was the classic prince charming, tall with bleach blonde hair, golden brown eyes, and a farmer's tan that didn't go away even in the winter. He was the richest man in town. He was a horse breeder and I guess he raised quiet a few champions. He owned numerous archers of land. When it was time for a racer to retire, they would sell them to Frank and Frank would breed them with other champion racers and then train and sell the foals. Everyone in town knew his name and everyone thought he was "peachy-keen." I can't say that I hate the man; I don't know him to hate him. The side he shows to me is a lot different then what he shows to others.
You have to understand that I came here knowing nothing about him and from his reaction with me at first, I'm not sure he knew about me. When I first arrived, he had already set up a room for me with a private balcony, facing the stables, all new furniture and everything completely set up for me. A week later, he bought me my own car, a brand-new Ford pickup, candy apple red and oh god did it sparkle. Maybe because I was so use to Earl being mean to me that it put me off towards Frank, but after a while it seemed like he tried too hard for me to like him. He even tried to act like a father, telling me to be home at certain times and shit like that, but after about a month of it not working, he gave up and just let me do what I wanted, that's way I liked it. Besides, he couldn't understand what I was going through at the time.
Although I was happy to be out of Tulsa, there was someone there I didn't want to leave. His name was Ponyboy; him and his brothers protected me from Earl while I was staying with him. Ponyboy and his beautiful eyes and kind words, I fell for him within moments of being with him. He stood by my side throughout my hospital visit and helped me through physical therapy, supportive and strong for me. But when I went to give him my address and confess my love for him…he told me he didn't return the feelings and that we should just end it. I died inside that day; I didn't think there was a reason to live. I found out then why they calling it "falling in love" because you end up landing and it always hurts…badly. There are no words to describe heartbreak. I came here and felt so out of place and so lost, I honestly thought about killing myself then staying here another moment.
Then I met Joe, Frank's stable boy. He was sweet and funny. I'm not saying I loved him, I honestly don't think I can ever love again. Joe was just a nice guy and someone to talk to. He's the one who filled me in on the parties. I went to my first, not meaning for anything to happen, just to meet new people and hopefully feel better. When they offered me a drink, what can I say? I gave in to per-pressure and I tried it. After a few drinks, I couldn't feel a thing. All my sadness, regret, and pain were gone. I felt like I could fly, it felt so good. And when some guy named Randy started kissing on my neck, that felt so good that I didn't want it to stop, so I didn't let it. I took him back to my place and I really don't think I need to say what happened from there. I know it was stupid of me to drink. I also know that I would be the person people would think would be least likely to drink because my dad was always drunk when he beat me. But…the definition liquid courage is very true when it comes to alcohol.
I realized that's how I could feel good, lots of drinks and someone to hold me. I mean…they wouldn't want me if they didn't love me, right? I loved them too…maybe not like I loved Ponyboy, but I loved the attention and I loved the feeling of being close to someone. That was enough for me and since they didn't ask questions, I didn't give answers. I made sure to stay intoxicated while I was with them, if I started to sober up I would think of Ponyboy and feel horrible. I kept numbers of bottles of alcohol next to my bed to keep my buzz from dying.
During the summer it would be every night, during school just the weekends. Whatever guy sparked my interest, I would take home, most of them multiple times. The rule was that they couldn't sleep there and of course none of them wanted to because Frank is one of those guys who seems so nice, you're afraid to see him get mad. Joe was the only one that ever tried to stay the night and I constantly was chasing him out the window. He was crazy…in and out of bed.
And let's not leave out my mom, Abby, she got pregnant with me and married Earl at a very young age. She was a high school drop out and honestly had nothing, but good looks to go on. She was a blonde hair, blue eye, bombshell, just like me. I was never told how New York changed to Wisconsin or how they met or if she had ever planned on getting me. With Frank's reaction and the angry fight I could hear coming from their room my first night there, I didn't see it "proper" to ask, just let myself wonder. Mom and I were close when I was growing up…hence why it was agonizing for me to see her now. She would spend her days with friends out shopping and told me to go to my room and "play" whenever I was annoying her. She now thought that she was better then everyone and made sure that everyone knew it. It was like the year we spent apart had changed us both completely and I honestly couldn't stand being around her.
I didn't fit in with anyone here. Sure, they loved to party with me and the boys loved to see who could get in bed with me next, but I didn't know or get close to anyone. I drifted through my days with school and parties.
In the middle of my daydreaming, Lila walked up with a thing of letters and a cup of coffee. "You forgot your mail, Riley."
I smiled at her. "Thanks Lila…let me guess, more acceptance letters?"
"You should be proud of yourself, I am. Besides, if you didn't want to get so many why did you apply for so many colleges?"
I picked one up from UCLA and examined it as I laughed. "Didn't you always say variety is the spice of life?" Lila just laughed and walked back inside.
That was the other reason I didn't fit in with anyone here, they couldn't understand how I was able to party every weekend and still manage to be class Valedictorian. I guess it's because when my parents would fight, all I had to hide from it was homework. I always felt like education was important, I liked being able to dictate a conversation and at least seem intellectual. Of course, everyone said it was because of oh-so wonderful Frank, it made me laugh.
I glanced down at the acceptances letters in front of me and picked up the first one because it caught my eye, The University of Tulsa. God why did I ever apply there? I told myself it was because I wondered about Ponyboy's brother Darry and wanted to see how him and their other friends were doing, but I knew I was lying to myself. I also justified it by telling myself they had the best Psychology Department, but I knew that wasn't true. I sat there, twirling the letter between my fingers and found myself actually hoping I had gotten in. I mean, if even I did get in it doesn't mean I have to go there right? It's just an acceptance letter; I shouldn't be so worried about it! I already received plenty of acceptances letters from a lot of wonderful colleges, but for some reason…this was the letter I had been waiting for. It was almost like, am I good enough to go back to the only place I ever called home?
So what if I do go back? It doesn't mean I would see the guys. I means, Ponyboy would already be in college because although we were the same age, he had skipped a grade making him a year ahead of me; he probably got into Harvard or something! And it's not like the guys were going to be poking around the college campus, that wasn't their type of scene. I couldn't just show up on the doorstep, what would I say? Oh hi, sorry I haven't talked to you in three years, thought I'd drop by and say hi? What would they say? What if Ponyboy was there? He made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing more to do with me and so I respected his request and stayed away from him. But even after three years, I still found myself picturing him in my mind and wondering how he was doing. Did he ever wonder about me? Did he miss me? What if he found someone new and she was there, that would be completely awkward and I would have to stop myself from crying on his porch! I couldn't put myself through that! Wait, why am I even thinking of this? I haven't even opened the letter yet to know if I got in; it's not like I'm going to road trip to Tulsa!
I shook my head; waking myself up from a daze I wasn't sure how long I had been in. I looked down at the letter and spoke aloud, "God Riley, it's just a letter, open it for the love of God!"
I obeyed myself and tucked my index finger under the seal and leisurely ripped the paper apart. On the outside I acted indifferent, but inside my head was shrieking. Diligently, I grasped the paper inside and brought it forward into the light, shaking it respectfully to open it. Within reading the first line, my eyes welded up with tears: "Dear Miss Riley Adams: We are pleased to announce you have been accepted into The University of Tulsa…"
