35 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen to No End A/N:This is my first fanfic, so please be gentle

Disclaimer-I don't own the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.

Make sudden decisions constantly

Tear up her clothes

Call her an Oompa-Loompa

Blame it on Jasper

Never let her do anything fun

Make the wolves plan violent things to do to Bella

When she goes to confront said wolves, have them blame it on Jasper

Cancel her credit cards

Have Rosalie refuse to go shopping with her time after time

When Alice asks why have Rosalie tell her the voices told her not to

Sign her up for the "Peter Pan" school play as Tinker Bell

Follow her around everywhere she goes singing the Barney theme song

Color her 911 turbo black

Blame it on Jasper

Make her shop at the Goodwill

Have Edward steal the paper when Her and Bella are passing notes

Have Emmett set her up a date with Mike Newton at a French restaurant

Get Newton drunk before said "date"

After the "date" have Newton try to kiss her in the parking lot

When she punches him out cold go retrieve the body and set him up in Alice's room before she gets home

When she storms out of the house ready to kill go hide in the woods while secretly video taping it

Put it on Youtube under "Alice's good time with Newton"

Post a page about it all over school

Post extra pages all over the school in La Push

Give the wolves her phone number telling them to call and ask her out "any time"

When Embry calls her at 3 a.m. asking her to meet him at the Taco Bell force her to go

When she refuses to go have Embry chase her around dressed up as a giant spider

When he has her cornered have him tell her that all the eraser bits in the world will join forces and eat her

When she comes home outraged have Emmett tell her he taped it all and will put it in Youtube

When she yells for said tape hold it high above her head and make her jump for it

Blame it on Jasper

Make Alice believe the Volturi are coming to check on Bella

When she can't see anything, tell her she's losing her power

Check her into a mental institution saying she needs to "clear her head"

Blame it all on Jasper

A/N: Yes, yes. I know I went a little overboard with the "Blame it on Jasper" theme, but hey, it's 2 in the freakin morning right now, give me some slack!

You know what, I happen to be craving cookies right now. I'm also thinking of doing another chapter. And to me, reviews are like cookies. So leave a cookie, fill my craving, and get another chapter!!!REVIEW,REVIEW,REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!