a/n: This is the sequel to The Eternal Adventure. If you have not read that, some of this may confuse you but for the most part, I think you will get the gist of it. This starts out a few days prior to the wedding of TenII and Rose. Rose is pregnant but no one knows except the Doctor. Rose and TenII rescued Alt Jack (who is immortal but not by Bad Wolf) from being imprisoned on an alien world. He lives with them now. I do not recomment eating or drinking during the reading of this fic. It may be a bit funny. I credit who_in_whoville for enlightening me about Agent Provocateur. This story is rated M due to cursing. This chapt has more cursing than I normally write but it fit the situation - drunken Torchwood agents at TenII's stag night.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any music mentioned in this story.
"Doctor, are you about ready?" Rose asked, as she sat at the vanity in front of the mirror applying the last bit of her make up. He appeared behind her, leaning over, sweeping hair away from her neck and kissing her.
"We could just stay in," he murmured sexily into her ear.
She turned around and he took a step back. She smiled through her annoyance at his obvious attempt to thwart the planned evening out. He looked delicious in the trim, chocolate brown pinstripe suit with the new bright blue tie with the brown and cream swirls. Then, there was his devastating smile which she swore could charm a charging hoard of Plumianto warriors into surrendering. "No, we have to do this. We already promised Mum, Jack, Jake not to mention a whole bunch of other people who want to do this for us."
Having failed to charm her into staying in for the night, his smile quickly dissolved into a pout. "But whhhhyyyyy. It's just some stupid primitive Earth ritual and..." He stopped at the Tyler look of doom that he was now facing. In the best of circumstances, facing a Tyler woman with that look was not good, but now with the unexpected turn of events of the past month and learning of Rose's impending motherhood, added a whole new dimension to the intimidating look now directed at him. A pregnant, hormonal Tyler woman with her mind made up glaring at him like that was nothing to scoff at, much less irritate with his rebellion at primitive human nuptial rituals.
"Okay fine, I'll go meet the blokes for a pint while you do your hen night thing. Don't know why we can't have one big party together. Just gonna be me stuck with Jack Jake and the Torchwood boys getting' smashed while they sing a bunch of obnoxious songs and tease me about the end of my bachelorhood," he fretted.
Rose looked at him sympathetically. "Oh come on! It won't be that bad. Malcolm and Pete'll be there. So will Malcolm's new assistant, Bradley and Jake's new partner Angus and you like all of them. I'm sure it'll be fine and you'll have fun," Rose tried to convince him, as she walked up to a full length mirror and looked at herself dressed in her dark denim jeans and tight white angora cardigan. "Does this look all right?"
He looked up and smiled. "No." She turned back to him irritated.
"No, it needs this," he told her, as he pulled out a delicate silver necklace with a silver pendent made of several circular loops with a pink stone in the middle.
"It's beautiful," she whispered in awe, with tears in her eyes as he fastened it around her neck. "Thank you."
"Thought you might like it," he said, as he handed her a handkerchief.
She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes. "Thanks. Oh these bloody hormones! So, I'm gonna be like this till the baby's born?" she asked.
"Yep, but it should get better as the pregnancy progresses. Your body will adjust. How are you feeling?"
"Other than ready to kill you one minute and snog you the next, okay. Certain foods set me off and then there's other times when it just hits me. I feel good right now though." She turned around and admired the necklace in the mirror. "Doctor, I know your super Time Lordy senses tell you I'm fine, but really, shouldn't we figure out when this baby's gonna come? I just want to make sure he or she is okay after all that travel in the Netherworld." Rose said, and turned to face him.
"Welll, I sort of maybe know when conception was," he told her, nervously tugging at his ear and pacing a bit.
She crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow at him "Oh really? And, when were you gonna tell me about it?"
"Uh, I wasn't sure until our trip down the Amazon when the Encantado wouldn't take you. After that, I analyzed your hormone levels and was 99.9999% positive you were preggo, up the duff, with child."
"Wait! You knew then and didn't say!"
He stared at her like Bambi facing a hunting rifle. "Rose, sweetheart, I... welll, you see you were worried and sick and there were Eternals mucking about and I thought maybe you knew and weren't ready to talk about it," he babbled.
"Didn't want to talk about it! I'm carrying our part alien baby and you think I didn't want to talk about it! Seriously?" she asked him, her voice growing increasingly louder.
"Yes would be a bad answer wouldn't it?"
She rolled her eyes and paced over to the window, took a deep breath and turned around to face him. "Look, I know we haven't had much time to talk about this cuz of the holidays, Mum's wedding stuff and all, but Doctor we're gonna have to talk about what's gonna happen. I mean, I...I'm scared. I didn't realize until we met Izzy and then I... well it hit me. Izzy was standin' in front of me and she's my kid. Then, when I got back here and took the test it got even more real and I didn't know what to do or how to tell you."
"But, you did and it was brilliant. You're brilliant." He walked over and pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He cupped her face. "Rose Tyler, you are without a doubt the bravest being I know. You are going to be fine. Our child will be brilliant. I promise you, when this wedding nonsense is over, we will talk about everything. We'll have a sit down on the Tardis who as we speak is building the most magnificent med bay ever and take a good look at our little bundle of joy," he said, patting her stomach gently.
"Yes, but what about…"
He put his finger on her lips. "Everything is fine. Your hormone levels are within normal parameters. You're experiencing normal early pregnancy symptoms. Both you and the developing fetus are fine. I promise I will monitor you and the minute I think either you or the baby are even in the slightest distress, I will tell you and we will do whatever we need to in order to keep you both safe and healthy." He lifted his finger off her lips, she smiled and threw her arms around him hugging him tightly to her.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," he whispered back.
"But you still have to go to your stag party," she said, and pulled back and watched him pout. "Come on, before Jack comes up to see what's keeping' us and starts bouncin' on the bed makin' suggestive comments."
They arrived at the posh Dorchester where Jackie and Pete had reserved two luxury suites to host the Doctor's stag night and Rose's hen night. The Doctor pulled up to the uniformed valet, tossed him the keys with a wink and went around to open Rose's door while Jack hopped out the back. They were met in the marble floored, elegantly decorated lobby by Jackie who already had a flute of champagne in their hand and a tray of three more flutes sitting beside her. Jack, who was dressed impeccably in a designer navy suit cut to accentuate his physique with a crisp white dress shirt with light blue strips and unbuttoned at the top, walked up and kissed her on each cheek. The sterling cufflinks etched with a design of a "J H" sparkled in the lighting. Jackie was the picture of style dressed in white dress slacks with a soft pink jacket over a white lace blouse with a sweet heart neckline that enhanced her bosom. She wore a diamond necklace of white and pink diamonds that sparkled in the light.
"Here you are finally!" Jackie said, walking up to Rose and kissing her cheek. "You were due here half an hour ago."
"Sorry, Mum. We wanted to take our time and enjoy the night. We didn't mean to muck up your plans," Rose told her, as she accepted a flute of champagne looking at the Doctor who nodded his head indicating it was all right for her to have a glass. She reached over and lifted up the last flute and handed it to the Doctor who raised it up.
"To Pete and Jackie for making this lovely night possible," the Doctor toasted.
Jackie smiled and walked over and embraced him. "See, I knew you'd come around. Took you long enough though didn't it. Now then, you go off with Jack now and I'll take Rose upstairs. You boys try and stay out of trouble," she said, as she practically dragged Rose to the elegant lift.
After Jackie and Rose disappeared, Jack practically dragged the Doctor to the lifts and up to the suite where the party was already in progress. Pete, Jake and some other Torchwood people were crowded around an enormous television screaming and drinking beer while watching a match. Malcolm and his assistant Bradley were off to the side having a heated debate over some theory of particle physics. A couple other of Torchwood scientists were playing a game of darts. A waiter walked up to the Doctor and handed him a tall glass filled with a creamy yellow drink. He took a sip out of the straw and grinned. "Banana daiquiri!" he exclaimed, looking into Jack's smiling face. "Maybe this night won't be all rubbish after all!"
Jack laughed and slapped him on the back. "Told you Doc, I got you covered."
The rest of the night sped by with everyone toasting him and shoving drink after drink in his hand so his glass was never empty. They played a rousing game of Kopf which was an alien drinking gaming which the Doctor taught everyone. It was a combination of cards and the rolling of four dice with symbols on each side resembling the Greek alphabet. Jack was somewhat familiar with it. Even Malcolm joined in with his preferred drink, Midori, which the Doctor tasted and wiped his tongue off declaring it green and disgusting.
"Right so, whose roll was it?" Jack asked, wavering a bit on his chair as he sipped a dirty martini and winked at Jake who just sat on his chair grinning and taking a chug of beer.
"Pete's up!" Jake said, slurring slightly, and set his beer mug down on the table hard enough to slosh some over the side.
"Bloody hell again?" Pete asked, as he took a puff from his cigar. He grabbed the dice and threw them across the table and one bounced half way across the room. He then drew three cards and laid them face down in front of him. "Whadda I do again?" he asked, taking a drag of his gin and tonic.
"Oh, you know," a very inebriated Doctor said, gesturing with his hands. You have to chug the bottle coz you lost the dice uh die oh something like that."
Jack burst out in giggles. "That's not how you play it!"
"What, you sayin I don't know the rules? I'll have you know that I am a Time Lord. Brilliant I am. I know five billion languages and stuff. I know lots of stuff. See, I'm old and, and you're not and what were we talkin' about again?" he asked, scratching his head.
"You're wasted," Pete declared, taking another puff of his cigar. "And my wife's gonna kill me cuz I'm spose to keep you in line."
"Bleh Jackie Tyler! Sympathies, Pete old man. Ya know, you can always come hide out with Rose and I. Maybe we could…." he said, losing his train of thought before realizing Pete had accused him of being drunk. "Wait a minute, I'm not wasted! Superior Time Lord biology!" he declared. Several of the party goers laughed.
"Yeah Doc, sure. That's why you fell off the chair earlier and asked who turned the gravity off," Jack said, eating an olive out of his martini.
"Malcolm, you're up" Pete said with the cigar in his mouth.
Malcolm was wobbling on his chair staring at his drink. "Up where? What is up, Why is everything so blurry?" he slurred.
Jake swiped his glasses off his head and tried to put them on his nose but they ended up half on and half off. "Oh my, I can see something." He held his finger out in front of his face and touched his nose. He looked at Pete with a grin and his glasses half falling off his face. "I am quite inebriated," he stated, and fell sideways, still in the chair and crashed to the floor.
"Fuck me, we killed him!" Jake shouted out, staring down at Malcolm who was still in the tipped over chair except now passed out.
The Doctor looked over at Malcolm "Naaaw, he's fine," he said, waving his hand in the air. "Fuck is such a boring curse word. Why do humans always seem to chose curses that are one syboly, sylboly uh syllable. That's it."
"That's just this century, Doc. Bet I could teach Jakey here a few more satisfying words," Jack said, grinning at Jake.
"Kylsaxcukwom!" the Doctor shouted. "Now that's a curse word," he said, and took another slurp of his daiquiri. "Ooo or how about or Clallacpeldasacrisalvac!"
"Na uh. I can do better!" Jack boasted. "Zustlopak."
"That's rubbish! Kylsaxcukwom has panache," the Doctor said sniffing.
"You're both full of it. The aliens would be all over us by the time I said any o' that," Jake asserted, finishing off his beer and belching.
The Doctor grinned. "You know on Passarc IV belching is a declaration of…" Before he could finish, there was a knock at the at the door. Jack jumped up and ran to the door. The Doctor, even though a bit fuzzy headed, realized something was up. He looked over at Jake and Pete who pretended to be fascinating with the cards on the table.
"Tell me he didn't," the Doctor said sitting up, his head clearing.
Jack walked back into the room with a tall pale, ginger haired girl wearing a tan trench coat. The Doctor groaned inwardly and glared at Jack. Jake and Bradley helped Malcolm up as several of the party goers stood up. Pete walked back to the bar followed by another Torchwood agent and proceeded to make some fresh drinks. The Doctor turned and watched him. Pete tried to fight his grin as he leaned down to grab a bottle of whiskey. "What, you gonna tell Jackie you hid behind the bar during all of this and that's gonna make it all right?" the Doctor asked, slowly regaining a bit more of his sobriety.
Jake walked up to him and slapped him on the back. "You really gonna tell Jackie what went on tonight? Do you wanna live to see your honeymoon? What goes on durin' stag night, stays on stag night. That's the code."
The Doctor's face scrunched up in confusion. "Code? There's a code? What code?"
Angus walked over as he and Jake escorted the Doctor to the living room space and shoved him in a chair which had been moved from the dining room. "The bloke's duty to his fellow bloke," he said, as he leaned down and pulled out the Doctor's glasses and shoved hem on his face.
The Doctor winced and straightened them. "I've never heard of it. You sure about this? Sounds like you've had way to much of that Orvorin Whiskey which Jack still hasn't explained where it came from," he said, glaring at Jack. Jack was leaning in and whispering into the ginger girl's ear. He looked up and winked at the Doctor.
"You see, Doc..."
"That's Doctor to you!" the Doctor insisted.
"Doc, you're on Earth and thus must adhere to the bloke's code. Rule number one, never tell a bloke's significant other bout anything that happens on stag night." He patted the Doctor's cheek and collapsed onto the sofa where another Torchwood agent knocked knuckles with him and handed him a beer. The Doctor rolled his eyes.
"Rubbish human male rules. Rule number one is don't wander off," he muttered under his breath, as the room was filled with the a pulsing beat of some seductive music.
Jack walked up and whistled loudly to get everyone's attention. "We all know we're here to celebrate the Doctor's last few nights of freedom. Not that being tied down or up." Jack winked at the Doctor. "to Rose is a bad thing. She's one gorgeous and flexible lady!" The Doctor glared at Jack and was about to have words when Jack finished his introduction.
"So gents, I give you tonight's entertainment!" Jack finished, with a sweep of his arms as the ginger haired girl with the creamy white skin entered the room dressed in a white lab coat with black rimmed glasses and her hair in an up do. She Blinded Me with Science by Thomas Dolby blasted through the room as she walked up to the Doctor. He stared up at her in shock. She looked at him seriously and walked around him trailing her fingers over his shoulder before standing in front of him. She unpinned her hair and shook it out beginning to move in beat to the music and slowly unbuttoned her lab coat, shimmying out of it and tossing it off to the side so that it fluttered to the ground before a stunned Malcolm whose mouth fell open. Jack was on the other side of the room moving his hips in rhythm to the music as the naughty scientist stripper continued removing her clothing. The rest of the group was smiling, drinking and murmuring "Now this is a bloody stag night!"
Beneath the lab coat, she was wearing a men's dress shirt, tie and obscenely short gray pinstripe skirt. She held her arms up and closed her eyes as she shimmied down close to the Doctor bumping and grinding her hips. As she leaned into the Doctor, she removed her tie and tossed it over him so that it landed on Pete's head. Pete choked on his drink and Jake slapped him on the back as everyone around him howled with laughter. Next, she slowly unbuttoned the shirt shaking her breasts in the Doctor's face. He looked at her in fascination, sniffed and then looked up into her green eyes as she smiled at him.
Once her shirt was loose, she again tossed it to the side. This time, it flew through the air landing on a lamp. She shimmied to the ground as she divested herself of her skirt and walked over until she was standing in between the Doctor's legs giving him a lap dance. She grabbed him by the tie and pulled him forward until his face was in her large, bouncing breasts encased by only a miniscule emerald green lace bra.
His first thought when he saw her was about how this was so typical for human males to objectify and sexualize a being as some form of ritualistic male bonding entertainment. Suddenly, he caught a whiff of something familiar and looked into her eyes. His next thought was, "Something's off." As she undulated and thrust her hips to and fro, he started to grin. "You know, you're quite good," he complimented her, earning him a sexy grin. "It's your earrings isn't it," he asked smirking. her smile started to fall and she grabbed him by the tie. He let out an oopmh. "Right, so you don't want anyone to know which means you're hiding something," he whispered to her. Her grip tightened on his tie as she violently slammed his face into her bosom.
Having his face plastered into her breasts was not something he enjoyed. He pulled back. "Now see here, that's just rude. I'm just trying to be nice about this. You do realize you're surrounded by Torchwood agents whoever you are." With that comment, her face turned into a sneer and the claws came out, literally. "Oh Kylsaxcukwom!" he swore, as he pulled back. She sliced through his tied with some rather nasty sharp looking appendages. "Oi! I liked that tie!" he shouted, as he dove off of the chair away from her. There was a stunned silence in the room as she let out an ear piercing screeching whistle-like sound.
Before any of the party goers could react, the ginger girl transformed into a green, scaly bipedal alien with flowing ginger hair who stood a foot taller than the Doctor with sharp talons at the ends of it's arms. It's face was reptilian and more lizard like with two neon green eyes, a snout and a large mouth with sharp teeth along with a forked yellow tongue which shot out of it's mouth toward the Doctor. The Doctor ducked to the side. Soon, three more of the creatures burst into the room. Jake appeared at the Doctor's side, a dining room chair held out in front of him. "What's wrong with you!" Jake shouted, as he fended off the ginger haired reptile.
"What do you mean?" the Doctor asked, patting his pockets for his sonic screwdriver.
"Bloody alien stripper ruinin' a perfectly good party. Only you could have a stag night overrun by aliens!"
"Oi! It's not my fault! Go talk to Jack. He's the one who hired the alien stripper!" the Doctor yelled back at Jake, and turned to stare pointedly at Jack who was pelting the aliens with beer bottles whilst ducking behind the bar. He looked back at the Doctor and shrugged while grinning and picking up a bottle of whiskey.
He opened it and took a swig and was about to throw it when Pete screamed "No, not the whiskey. Throw the bourbon!" Jack grinned set the whiskey aside and took a full bottle of bourbon and hit one of the alien's in the head with it. The alien howled in rage.
Malcolm who was ducked behind a couch, peeked out. "I called Torchwood! Back up is on the way!" He ducked down just as a beer bottle came flying across the room near him.
Meanwhile, at the opposite end of the hotel, a group of women were having a bit of a posh party of their own. Jackie had arranged with Agent Provocateur, the local upscale lingerie shop, to provide them with an assortment of lingerie for all the girls so they could have a fun and flirty hen night. Each party goer then had fun trying on frothy, sexy and downright slutty concoctions of satin, silk and lace from teddys to baby dolls to full length vampy 20's couture lingerie. Champagne and cocktails were flowing liberally as was tray after tray of posh hors d'oeuvre , desserts and bon bons. Rose quietly stuck with mimosas and bellinis although they were mostly juice. Jackie was feeling no pain after practically single handedly drinking a bottle of pink Dom Perignon.
They all took turns trying on different sets with everything from garters, feathers in their hair and drop dead sexy stilettos to match their seductive ensembles. They listened to music with a sexy beat as the modeled lingerie and talked about boyfriends, girlfriends and husbands.
"Oh my gawd, Rose!" Chelsea, one of the top field agents who was partnered with Rose before the Doctor arrived, exclaimed. "You look gorgeous! Oh, you make me sick. Why can't my boobs look like that!" she said, while examining her breasts and shoving them up in her black bustier. Her violet-grey eyes staring crankily at herself in a full length mirror as the purple feathers swayed to and fro in her hair as she moved. She angled her body and examined her black stockings and garters and then winced as she took a step in the black feather embellished stilettos. "How do you walk in these things?" she complained.
"You don't, sweetheart. That's the point!" Jackie told her smiling, as she sashayed in a pale pink full length silk gown with a slit up her thigh. The top was a held up by two jewel encrusted straps that wrapped around her neck. She also wore feather embellished stilettos only hers were white feathers. her hair was pinned up with a single white feather. She walked over to Rose who was sitting next to Mandy dressed in a burgundy teddy with black stockings. She had her hair fluffed out around her face and was holding up a black feather fan. Rose, who was curled up in a chair next to her, had on a Tardis blue lace baby doll with slim blue straps and neckline that plunged showing her cleavage and which was sheer from under the bustline down. She wore a matching thong of the same color and an equally blue bow in her hair which was loose around her face. She was giggling behind her own fan.
Jackie sat down beside her with a fresh bottle of champagne and topped off Rose's bellini. "Are you havin fun sweetheart?"
Rose leaned over and laid her head on Jackie's shoulder. "This is the best hen night ever! Thanks, Mum." Jackie beamed and the two women hugged. Suddenly, every mobile in the suite seemed to buzz and ring. The women all sat up and raced for their phones. Rose took one look at the message and whispered one word, "Doctor."
"What is it? What's wrong?" Jackie demanded.
"It's a code E priority one right here in the hotel!" Chelsea responded, scrambling to find a weapon. "Shit, all I have is my stun gun!" she swore and then realized with the bustier ensemble she had no where to hide her gun. "There's no time! We have to go now!"
"Go where?" Jackie demanded, as the rest of the women in the party grabbed whatever they could find to use as a weapon and headed out the door including Rose.
"Rose, where do you think your goin?" Jackie demanded, hands on her hips.
Rose slipped on the matching sheer coverlet with blue feather trim and was heading out the door. "It's the Doctor's Stag Party, Mum. They called Torchwood for back up. They wouldn't have called for help if it wasn't serious. We've got to go Mum!" Rose explained, as she dashed out the door in her stilettos.
"Not without me you don't!" Jacked called out, grabbing a bottle of champagne as she dashed out the door after them. The group of scantily clad women dressed in silky teddys, camisoles, gowns and baby dolls in various colors, wearing feathers and stilettos dashing down the hotel hall made for quite a sight. A husband and wife walking to their room plastered themselves against a wall as the group of women ran by them. When they reached the suite where the Doctor's stag party was, they lined either side of the door. Chelsea and Rose were in the lead and counted to three before Chelsea kicked the door open and jumped in the room assuming a shooting stance with her taser in front of her. Rose was close behind her, sonic in her hand.
"Torchwood, nobody move!" Chelsea yelled, her black bustier rising and falling as she breathed heavily from the adrenaline rush and still wearing her feathered stilettos. The rest of the women filed in behind her wielding whatever weapons they had on hand. The four aliens, one of whom who was standing menacingly over Pete, turned toward them. The Doctor sonic in hand standing next to Jake holding a chair stared at the scantily dressed Torchwood group with his mouth hung open.
"Rose, what are you wearing?" he asked as he stared at her chest and then up at the blue bow in her hair. "Are you a prezzie for my stag night?" he asked excitedly.
Jackie pushed her way through the group and the Doctor's face fell. "Have you lost your bloomin mind! What the 'ell is goin on here!" she demanded, holding the bottle of champagne like a club. The aliens let out a shriek. Chelsea shot the one in front of Jake and the Doctor with the stun gun and it jerked away and faced her.
"Oi! Why'd you do that? Now she's angry!" the Doctor shouted.
"Now she's angry?" Chelsea asked, as one of the women handed her an umbrella which turned into a sword which she held in front of her with an excited grin.
"Fuck yes! It's Xena Warrior Princess!" Jake yelled out, and fist pumped the air. Jack, who was across the room holding a coat rack fending off another alien, burst out laughing.
The Doctor turned to Jake with a look of confusion. "What!" At that point, everything happened quickly. Chelsea, followed by several women including a lamp wielding Mandy, charged the room. Rose started hitting settings on the sonic, exploding glasses and light fixtures until the Doctor shouted out a setting number to her. Jackie who saw the alien threatening Pete shouted out, "Oi, you alien menace! That's my husband!" She promptly clubbed the alien with the champagne bottle knocking it to the side where it collided with a wall and fell to the ground. Mandy and another negligee garbed party goer were fending off another alien while Malcolm peered from behind a couch.
Finally, the Doctor and Rose activated their sonics in sync sounding a piercing sound that made all the aliens collapse unconscious. After a pause, the group all shouted out and jumped up and down in celebration. Jackie ran up to Pete and threw her arms around him. As everyone quieted down she pulled away.
"Oi! What's that smell? Pete Tyler have you been smoking?" she asked, in a very unhappy and demanding voice. She squinted her eyes and even in her inebriated state was able to pull off a Tyler woman glare.
Malcolm stood up and stared at Mandy dressed in her burgundy teddy and black stockings. "Mandy, you look…that is to say, uh I really like.." Malcolm was so flustered he couldn't finish. He was blushing and couldn't take his eyes off of Mandy.
Mandy, stilling holding the lamp as a weapon smiled shyly. "Hi, Malcolm. Uh, we heard you needed some help."
Chelsea who was standing nearby rolled her eyes. "Mr. Tyler, are you all right sir?" she asked, now in professional Torchwood agent mode despite being clad in a black satin bustier and matching knickers. Before Pete could answer, one of the aliens groaned. Chelsea took off one of her stilettos and smacked it over the head knocking it unconscious.
"Thank you, Agent Nelson," Pete responded, with as much dignity as he could considering his agents were either drunk, dressed in lingerie or both.
Jackie crossed her arms and huffed. Jack walked up to Rose and the Doctor and set the coat rack down as his eyes raked over Rose. "So, hen night eh Rosie?" he said, with smirk.
Rose crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at Jack. "Yeah and what's this? Some fifty first century stag night thing? What, you lot get drunk and take on rampagin' lizard whatsits?" she asked, cocking an eye brow. She turned to the Doctor. "What happened to your tie?"
"Oh, the alien stripper destroyed it," he said ,without thinking. He then grimaced a bit.
"Alien stripper!" Jackie shouted out, before Rose could say a word. All the men cringed. A few may have skulked out of the suite.
"Don't look at me!" the Doctor said, backing up to stand behind Rose. "It was Jack! Blame him." Rose looked at Jack whose charming smile may have slipped a bit.
"Well, I didn't know she was an alien. I mean she came very highly recommended," Jack said, backing away from Jackie who had picked up the champagne bottle she set down when she ran to check on Pete.
Rose broke out into giggles and Jackie turned to her. "It's not funny, Rose. They were in here up to God knows what with some perverted alien tart." This made Rose break out into howling laughter. The Doctor may have been smiling himself as he turned to his laughing bride to be.
Jackie sighed and turned to face the rest of the stag night party goers. "Fine, you lot made this mess and you can clean it up. Come on girls, let's go back to our non-alien infested party." She stood up straight and walked up taking Roses arm and began leading the women out just as a black-clad Torchwood team filed into the room. She paused and turned to them. "Finally, took you lot long enough. Lucky for you we got here and saved this lot of drunken perverts from their disgustin' alien tart stripper." She huffed and marched proudly out followed by the rest of the lingerie clad women still clinging to their weapons. After the last of the women had left, the Torchwood team turned back to Pete, the Doctor, Jake and the rest of the men and tried to stifle their laughter as the marched in to secure the aliens and take statements.
Before any of them left for the night, Pete cleared his throat. "Thank you all for assisting in this operation. I want to make clear that any videos or photographic evidence taken during this mission is classified priority one. If I find anything published or posted in any media, on the internet or posted to any Torchwood bulletin board, the administrative response will be stiff and painful. Do I make myself clear?" Pete said, in his most professional and authoritative manner. All the agents in the room nodded and responded with a "Yes Sir!"
After everything was cleaned up, aliens removed and the last of the investigating team gone, the remainder of the men collapsed on the sofa, in chairs or on the floor. Pete sat with the bottle of whiskey and a glass next to the Doctor. He poured them each a glass. "Welcome to the family," he said, and clinked glasses with the Doctor who just stared at him in horror. This would be a stag night that would live in infamy in the annals of Torchwood.
