Summary: Axe wonders how long it'll take the pair of them to just look at each other for a second, without thinking about how much they want to be mad, and realize that they're crazy about each other. Arguing is, essentially, pointless, since they're undoubtedly going to elope someday. OR - Axe somehow always gets roped into helping Percy and Annabeth through their arguments.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, the Heroes of Olympus series, nor any characters I borrow from either. I also don't own any companies or franchises I mention, clearly.

Warnings: Mentions of cigarettes, if that's a thing that bothers you, and a vague argument.

Author's Note: I'm back from the dead, I guess, and here's this really quick thing. Sorry if the whole argument is a little vague, but you guys can use your imagination—I wasn't really sure where I was going with it, personally. This was written in the span of a half hour at most, in order to fill a prompt on Tumblr asking for Axe treating Annabeth like a little sister and being a good friend to Percy. The title is from a Ron Pope song titled "Tell Me So". Mistakes are mine!

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Axe has never particularly liked being the man in the middle during an argument—or, honestly, the man in the middle, period.

He's not exactly a loner, not really a follower, not always a leader—but if there's one thing Axe purely, inexplicably, and undeniably isn't, it's the mediator.

And, one would think he would have some good experience under his belt trying to settle down arguments. His parents were threatening to drop World War III on his household every time he turned around, back when they were married and hardly trying to make it work. His relationships usually end because he's not 'open' enough, or they like the way smoking looks and not the way it smells or tastes—and the girls he's into are apparently the ones that like a good argument. The ones that usually walk away with angry, flushed cheeks and a comment of, 'you're going to die, you bastard'. It's uncalled for, and Axe isn't really sure why they're telling him he's going to die; it's not like he's stupid. The fact that they're assuming he's ignorant is probably more offending than them telling him he's going to wither right back into sand, his bones decomposing for the centuries to come.

Right, then. Axe has definitely been spending too much time with Nico since Percy and Annabeth started fighting.

He's reaching into his nightstand drawer and fishing out a cigarette and a lighter one-handedly when his phone rings. In a not-so-shocking change of events, it's Annabeth calling him first this time.

"'Morning, Annabeth," Axe mumbles, clearing his throat to get rid of the thickness of a night well spent sleeping.

He hears a sniffle, which, suspiciously, sounds less like a flu symptom and more like the aftermath of some tears. "Hi. How are you?"

"Better than you are, sounds like," he says, mildly. Annabeth doesn't say anything. "What's the idiot gone and said now?"

He doesn't expect Annabeth to laugh, but he really doesn't expect that to make her burst into tears. His eyes widen, and he looks at his phone, bewildered, as Annabeth speaks incoherently about the most recent argument.

Axe wonders how long it'll take the pair of them to just look at each other for a second, without thinking about how much they want to be mad, and realize that they're crazy about each other. Arguing is, essentially, pointless, since they're undoubtedly going to elope someday. In fact, Axe should probably have some plane tickets to some nice tropics near the equator on hand to make sure they have a nice honeymoon. "Annabeth?"

"He didn't even hear me out!" she says, just a touch too loud for this early in the morning. "I had an explanation; I knew what he was asking, but he wouldn't even—and he's the one who—with Rachel, of all people—"

"Annabeth, that was four years ago," Axe reminds her, gently, running his hands through his newly dyed fringe. He's having mixed feelings about the green, he'll admit.

"It doesn't matter how long ago it was!" Annabeth nearly screams, making Axe jump where he lies sprawled out on his bed. He fumbles his cigarette, and it disappears in his fluffy comforter. "He still hasn't apologized!"

Axe rubs his forehead, hangnail catching on his skin. He frowns. "Did you ask him to apologize?"

Annabeth is quiet for a second, and Axe wants to roll his eyes. Instead, he finds that cigarette and works diligently to open his window with his foot. "I mean, I mentioned it."

"But does he know this is what the whole fight is about?" Axe questions, nudging the window further up with his big toe.

"He should—-"

"But does he?" Axe's lighter flickers to life, and he watches the fire for a second before letting it die out. He might not want this cigarette after all. "He's not the best at making inferences."

"We were fighting and I said it." Axe raises an eyebrow. "I mean, I said other things, too. But it was definitely there. I remember; I said 'well, you certainly didn't mind with Rachel.'"

Sometimes, Axe wants to grab his two closest friends by the hair and give them a long, boring talk about the importance of communication. Followed by a stern look at Percy, a warning look Annabeth's way, and a relieved sigh as they kiss behind his back, tripping over themselves to apologize. It's what they always do in the end with these little spats; one of them comes crawling back with a promise of a favorite movie night or a cup of cooling hot chocolate, and the world keeps spinning on it's axis. If it were any other couple, Axe would probably find the whole thing sweet between the near constant making up they have to do, but sadly he knows Percy and Annabeth better than he knows anyone. And when they're fighting, it's just annoying.

Percy gets tetchier than usual, like he isn't sure what to do when Annabeth isn't teasing him about something stupid he's said. Annabeth goes passive-aggressive with everyone besides Percy, making little remarks under her breath that set everyone on edge. And everyone around them feels uncomfortable—even more uncomfortable than they do when Percy and Annabeth go off in their own little world of slight touches and secretive whispers and inside jokes that aren't funny to anyone besides the pair of them.

"Go find him and apologize," Axe recommends, after Annabeth's reflected on her admission silently.

"But—"

Axe's phone vibrates where it's pinned between his shoulder and his ear. He looks at it boredly, already knowing that it's Annabeth's other, much more clueless half asking for advice. "There he is now, calling me to ask what he did wrong. Because he doesn't know. Because you didn't tell him."

Annabeth stays quiet, and Axe just sighs. "I suppose I'll just have to make it abundantly clear from now on, since he's not… you know."

"Good at reading his girlfriend's mind?"

Annabeth sounds a little irritated when she replies, like he's her smug, annoying older brother that's always right. Axe thinks that's a more than apt description. "Yeah, whatever."

"Alright, I gotta get this call. Talk to you later."

He ends the connection with Annabeth and answers Percy, allowing him a few seconds of blissful silence, save the sound of the wind, before he speaks to Percy. "Hey, man."

"She's really pissed at me this time," Percy says, like he knows he's in deep shit and he has no clue how to get the hell out of the sinkhole. "She even started crying, and I didn't—you know I'm not good. When she cries."

Axe knows where this is going. He thinks he should probably just let the man know that she's already en route, but he decides to ask. "What did you do?"

"I just… It sounds bad, I know, but I was tired of hearing her yell at me, Axe! It's all she's done, like, all day."

Axe narrows his eyes. As much as Percy's his best friend, he thinks of Annabeth as his little sister and it's absolutely in his job description to beat guys to a pulp when they don't treat her right. "What did you do?"

"Don't get mad!" Percy says defensively. "I have enough mad people around me, thank you very much." Axe stays quiet to let Percy know he's listening, and finally, he speaks. "I might have just walked away. And gone home. But I said 'I'm sorry for whatever, alright?' before I left, so it's not as bad as it sounds."

Axe balances his unsmoked cigarette on his forehead, going cross-eyed as he tries to keep his eyes on it. Lately, Axe has been itching less and less for them; mostly smokes out of muscle memory anymore, not because he enjoys it. "You knew that would upset her, though."

"There's very little that doesn't upset Annabeth when she's in one of her moods," Percy points out, which is a fair observation, but still doesn't justify his actions. "We've been a little… off, lately. I'm not sure if you noticed?"

"Didn't, at all," Axe says flatly. "Had no idea."

Apparently, the sarcasm is completely lost on Percy, because he launches into an explanation of what's been going on in their relationship for the past month and a half. "I just don't know what's up. We've been arguing about so much little things—things that happened months or years ago, things I don't even remember—but you know Annabeth, she remembers everything, and she gets mad at me because I don't remember."

"Maybe you should start paying more attention," Axe suggests lightly, when he really wants to thump Percy on the head and let him know how ridiculous he's being. "I think it's less like you don't remember things and more like you aren't trying to. And you aren't apologizing for things that hurt her feelings, even if it didn't hurt yours."

"What are you talking about, Axe?" Percy says, bewildered. "She started crying because we were arguing over who ate the last of the ice cream."

"And who did you get ice cream with four years ago?" Axe questions tiredly.

"I—" Percy sounds so lost, Axe pities him a little. "My mom? Maybe? Or, like—"

"Rachel, Percy. You got ice cream with Rachel."

"Did I?" Axe waits. "Oh, you're… That was so long ago, though! I mean, Annabeth mentioned her earlier, but Rachel's not even—I would never, not when I'm with Annabeth. What does she take me for?"

"She doesn't assume you're anything," Axe replies, trying to sooth his friend. "Just, you know, the fact that you didn't remember probably made her suspicious and she's probably thinking you were trying to act like it didn't happen at all."

"But, I mean, nothing happened, I just ran into her is all, and—"

"Percy."

"—Don't take that tone, I know Annabeth gets jealous here and there about Rachel, but Rachel and I have never been like that. Except for that one time—"

"Percy," Axe interrupts, again. "I don't think you should bring up that one time."

"Right," Percy says, a little weakly. "Don't know why she still gets moody about that. It's not like I even kissed Rachel back."

"That's not the point," Axe says with a sigh. "It's Annabeth."

It's a vague statement at best, and anyone else really wouldn't understand what Axe means by it, but Percy takes a deep breath and lets out a short laugh. "Yeah, it is."

Axe is about to say something else, like a few words of wisdom that'll give him a nice segue to ending the call, but Percy beats him to the punch. "Oh, she's calling me—thanks, man, I'll call you later."

"Later," Axe says, but Percy's already ended the call, eager to speak to Annabeth. Axe tosses his phone aside, mutters out a fond, disbelieving "typical" and toes his window closed.

He tucks the cigarette back into the pack in his dresser drawer and drops the lighter in beside it. He really does hate being the middle man in an argument between two people who match each other in their stubbornness, but he'd rather talk them through arguments all day than watch either of them be miserable for more than a few minutes. Axe's family might not have been the best, but he can at least try to keep his new family from having a falling out over four year-old ice cream.

Percy texts him a thumbs up emoji with the words 'all good' an hour later. Axe just rolls his eyes, like there was even a chance they wouldn't have worked it out.

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