By Kay (AKA: Sp00kyfile)
Disclaimer: I don't own Ax, Jordan, Erek, or the Animorphs. I DO own Tobi, though- she's my wonderful creation which I absolutely adore. :) Please don't sue me. Thank you.
NOTE: The 5th sequel to "A New Chapter". It's at Chistmas- so I have LOTS of opportunities to use different little scenes and stuff. :) This one might be a little longer than the others. OH yes... ::grins evily:: AND THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!! Will Jordan and Ax seal the promise of goodwill toward men and aliens with a kiss? Or will you be reading yet another fic to see the sparks fly?
December 24th, The Future
"Silent night, Holy night; All is calm, all is bright." Alex Isthil listened quietly to the carolers outside the King's residence. The whole group had shown up about half an hour ago- small children all bundled up, holding their parent's hands from a nearby Elementry School. Outside, the snow was falling heavily, and the soft white powder had turned the ground into a glittering canvas. Everything was covered in bright snow, actually. Along the roof of every house in the town, ice cicles hung glistening as if in some perfect Christmas scene. Every house was lit up with candles and lights, every color you could possibly imagine.
"Round yon virgin mother and child, Holy infant so tender and mild,"
Ax sighed softly from his place by the window, and tucked a blanket closer around him. From the time he had first come to Earth, he had not enjoyed human music. But the songs that the humans outside had been singing were not as terrible as he would have thought earlier. Maybe that was because he was simply lonely... Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace."
The carolers finished their final carol and left for the next house on the block. Ax waved goodbye from the window listlessly. It was not that he hadn't enjoyed the songs- it was the pain they brought him that made him glad to see the carolers leave. He was reminded of other Christmases on Earth, with the Animorphs. Andalites did not have a holiday like Christmas, but over the years, being stranded on Earth, he learned more about it from his friends. After the first year or two, he began to celebrate it as well. Of course, it was hard to celebrate Christmas out in the woods without a family, but Tobias and Ax made it a special time. Ax could still remember the first time they made a Christmas tree...
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^Hey! This one looks good- over here,^ Tobias called down from the sky.
Ax looked up with his stalk eyes from his place on the snowy ground, and looked over to the side where Tobias indicated. The pine tree was not that large- about the height of Ax's body- but it was beautiful as if stood there, heavy with powdery snow and frost.
^I agree, my friend,^ Ax said with an Andalite smile. ^It is quite lovely.^ Tobias flew down and perched upon a nearby tree branch, and stretched his wings in the cold air.
^Brrr... it's freezin' out here. Hurry and cut it down, Ax-man, so we can get back,^ he complained.
Ax shook his tail, trying to lose the snowflakes that were collecting on him, and aimed.
FWAAPP!
It took one, clean slice to make the tree fall. Carefully, Ax picked up the fallen tree and attempted to pull it across the ground.
^Ah... I think the volume and weight of this tree is too much for my arms, Tobias,^ Ax said, slightly embarrassed.
Tobias groaned in thought-speak. ^Oh man... Okay, okay, just a sec- I'll morph human and help.^
Together, they pulled it through the woods and made it back to the scoop. Using a tree holder they had found on someone's street corner, they set it up straight and made sure it was sturdy. They did not have many decorations for the tree, but Cassie and the others had managed to take some from their own supply of ornaments and give them to the two friends out in the woods.
Ax watched how Tobias hung a small, colorful globe upon one of the branches of the pine, and tried to imitate him.
"Not on the top," Tobais said with a smile, removing the purple ornament. "That's where the star goes, Ax-man."
^The star?^
"Yep, it's tradition. The star always goes on top." Tobias took out a small, glittery piece for the top of the tree. Ax watched in curiousity.
^Why do you put it on the top?^
Tobias shook his head thoughtfully. "You know, I don't know. I never bothered to ask- I mean, it's just the way things are. And besides..." he grimaced sadly. "my uncle or aunt didn't do much Christmas stuff anyway. I doubt they'd have known."
Ax looked at Tobias. ^You do not like your Uncle and Aunt?^ Tobias shook his head.
"They never cared about me."
^They are obviously not very intelligent then.^ Ax remarked. Tobias grinned, his gratitude written on his face even though Ax had told the truth.
Tobias handed Ax the star. "Here... go ahead and put it up there."
Ax took it, and smiled his Andalite smile. ^Why don't we both? After all- I believe it was Prince Jake who said this is the season to be sharing.^
Tobias smiled. "And to be with family," he added, helping Ax put the star on the top.
Ax nodded. ^And to be with family....^ he said softly. The stars shone above- his homestar bright in the sky.
But he was looking at Tobias when he said it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ax opened his eyes, and took a deep breath. Tears fell down his face. He had not even known he was crying, he realized as he brushed them away. A familiar, painful ache in his chest started. It had been so many months... So much healing... And yet he still hurt just thinking about his dead shorm. The many times they had shared, all the talks and laughter, seemed to be fresh in his mind. They were a constant reminder of the past- a time when he smiled more. It had been months since the massacer down at the Yeerk Pool, but the memories were so clear it was like the whole incident had happened yesterday.
"Ax? Are you okay?" Erek's voice broke through his thoughts.
"Yes, Erek, I am fine," Ax said without conviniction. His voice sounded tired and old to his own ears. When had he started sounding so sad? He could not remember... Erek started to say something, but thought better of it. "Well, alright. Anyway, Jordan called." Ax immeadiatly straightened up and turned to look at his friend. "Really? What about?" His eyes showed a spark of intrest and delight for the first time that lonely day. "Did she specify her reasons for attempting to communicate with me?"
Erek smiled. "Yes, she 'specified her reasons for attempting to communicate' with you." He walked over to the window and peered out at the snow. "She wanted to know whether or not you would be interested in dinner later tonight with her family." He paused, a sly smile spreading over his face. "She said she'd love if you'd come spend your Christmas Eve with her."
Ax hesitated. "But what about you and the Chee? I thought I was going to spend the Eve here with you. And I do not wish to intrude on Jordan and her family," he added hastily.
Erek shrugged. "I would not worry about it. The Chee can do without you for one night, and you can spend Christmas Day with us if you want too."
Ax bit his lip. It was a habit he had picked up on soon after he became a human nothlit. In truth, he was not sure if he wanted to spend Christmas with anyone. If the choice was his, he would just lock his bedroom door, crawl into his bed, and sleep through the holiday and the painful memories it had brung with it. Just the very thought of spending a Christmas with Rachel's family... What could he say? Why would they want a stranger in their house- much less a stranger who had been with their daughter when she had died? Of course, there was another reason. A secret the burned to the core of his very being and haunted him every second of the day. It may not be true, but Ax couldn't help but feel it. In some way, he wanted to feel it, because he knew that it meant he still cared.
It had been his fault.
Rachel's death- Tobias's- everyone's... It was partly his fault. Even though he knew that logically, he could not have done anything, he still felt the burden of guilt, even though he tried not to let it show.
He could not have saved them.
He could have found a way, though, couldn't he? The painful ache intensified. Why couldn't he save them?
"Ax?" Erek asked, a curious, worried expression on his face. Ax was shaken out of his thoughts for the second time that day. He gazed up at Erek's face.
"I would rather stay here," he said quietly. He turned and gazed out the window again- trying to send an obvious sign to Erek that he didn't want to continue the conversation. He did not want to see Jordan today... He didn't want to see anyone at all.
Without another word, Erek left the room.
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Jordan sat by the window. In fact, she was using the same melonchy position that Ax was using that very moment. The sidewalks outside were shoveled, but the snow was quickly making all the work go for nothing. They'd soon be covered all over again. Sara, her little sister, padded into the room, and sat down beside her. She squinted at the snow. "It's pretty outside." Jordan looked at her and nodded, smiling faintly. Sara looked at her for a little while before continuing. "Whatcha looking for?"
Jordan shrugged. "A phone call..." She looked sad. "But I don't think I'll be getting it. I should have known..." she said, more to herself than to her sister.
"I wish Rachel were here," Sara said, her eyes brimming with tears. "I miss her so much... Do you think she misses us?" She looked up at Jordan pleadingly. Jordan hugged her.
"Yes, I think she misses us with all her heart. I think if she could be here, she'd be coming." She brushed her hand over Sara's shining hair. "And I also think that she would have wanted us to enjoy this Chirtmas instead of crying over her."
The sisters stood together, crying, as they remembered. All those Christmas's together... Only one thought was running through Jordan's mind.
There were two sisters when there should have been three.
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^NOOO!!!^
^Prince Jake! Look out!^
^Cassie!!! Oh my God!!!^
^Ax-man behind you!^
^I'm hit, man!!! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God...^
^MARCO!!!^
^My mom... save her... please...^
^No!!! Noo!!! Don't die! Please, oh God...^
^Ax... AX! Look left!!!^
Blood.
Everywhere.
Screaming, yelling, everyone in a panic. The Yeerks firing upon us.
A hawk faltering in mid air. A bear roaring her rage to the world.
^Is the Hydrogen/Argon stuff in place?!^
^Retreat!! I repeat- GET OUT OF HERE!^
Blood... Red...
^AAAHHHHH!!!!!!^ ^NOOO!!! CASSIE!!^
^Oh God, we're all going to die!!!^
Blue eyes... wing patterns...
A promise...
There was a promise.
Ax jerked up in bed, crying out in fear and pain as the nightmare ended. For a moment, he was not sure where he was, until he saw the dim, glowing lamp on his bedside. He always left it on. Perhaps it was foolish, but he no longer liked to wake up in the dark of his room. His breathing was jagged and uneven, and his human heart beat furiously within his chest while he gasped for air. Even though the room was chilly, he was soaked to the skin in sweat and tears.
Ax glanced at the clock in exhaustion. He had come in about an hour ago, hoping to sleep off some of his stress before tonight. The sharp reality of the nightmare he had was still clear in his mind- every detail, every breath, every cry of pain. It seemed as if he had been there all over again. The horrifying end of the Animorphs. Of innocence. Of himself...
He shivered and lay back down against the sheets, and closed his eyes warily. How many more nights? How many more times of waking up screaming from nightmares of the past? How many more nights full of tears and guilt and pain? Would it ever cease?
Ax buried his face in his hands and cried for the second time that day. How could someone go on living like this? He had thought that he was over it all- that in some odd way, if he changed his name and his form, he'd be able to leave it behind. What had he been thinking? It was foolish to think he could make a new beginning and not expect to still be effected by the chaos of his past. Every nightmare proved that he could not just forget about it. For a while, he had closure, but now somehow the shaky foundation of his new life that he had built again was coming down around him, falling as old wounds were being opened.
There was one thing that bothered him even more, though. The promise he made in his dream. Everytime Ax awoke, he could not remember the promise he had made to Tobias as he died. There had been no promise, no words spoken, as far as Ax could recall. So why did he dream about one?
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The angel stood among the snowflakes that drifted from the heavens, her hands together in a prayer, and her head bowed. Her wings were spread gloriously as if they were offering something to the passerbys in Averton Park. She was frozen in time, and in a prayer that never crossed her lips.
Ax stood looking up at the tall figure. The angel statue was laiden with heavy snow, but her features still showed through. A few people walked by, many hurrying home to thier families, or doing last minute shopping. The sky was a velvet black, endless and dark as anything could be. The moon was just a small cresent, but it's light still glowed down, even though it wasn't much to see by. The stars were bright tonight, as well. It was something Ax always noticed- the glowing shards of light in the sky.
The park was lit up dimly with street lamps on the sidewalks, illuminating enough for people to see. Ax glanced up at the angel again. His people had never been religious. It was highly impropable that there would be such a creation as a higher being of power. But somehow, Ax recieved comfort from the thought of a Heaven and angels. It gave him an explanation- a hope- that wherever his friends were, they were safe and happy. That one's life did not just end in death. He did not believe in such things... but yes, they brought him comfort.
The sound of a faint song came from the nearby street on the outer edges of the park as Ax walked down the path. He knew where he was going. He had gone there only once- just once- but it's location was imprinted in his mind forever.
The memorial.
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It was still there, just like he knew it would be. Somehow it had never seemed real- that someone could capture the Animorphs in such perfect detail and accuracy. Sometimes, Ax thought that perhaps the Chee had something to do with that.
Ax stood at the base of it, looking up at the bronze statues of his friends and himself. No one else was here tonight. He had been positive there would not be because of the importance of tonight. The bronze had not tarnished, nor had it been marked. The single word "Hope" still stood out on the base. The word stirred another painful memory of Elfangor's death. Of what the Animorphs had fought for.
They had died to give Earth freedom...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cassie laughed lightly as the injured rabbit she held in her arms stretched it's neck out, trying to grab the carrot Marco was holding. "Don't tease him, Marco, just give him the carrot."
Marco grinned, and finally held it out for the creature to take. Everyone was in the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center, or Cassie's barn, on the cold day. Outside, Ax could see the snow falling lightly from the sky.
"Okay, guys, let's get down to business," Prince Jake said, his voice serious and grim. "Erek has something to tell us."
Everyone looked to Erek, who was sittinng down on one of the bales of hay. His hologram was on, but even if he had not been concealed, the hope and joy radiating off of him. "We've found a way to destroy the Yeerks."
Everyone stared for a long time. Finally, Ax ventured to ask the question weighing on their minds.
^Destroy? Without killing the hosts?^
Erek nodded. "Yes. It's a chemical that we can mix together. See-" he gestured with his hand at a metel cylinder in his hand, that was carefully containing whatever was in it. "After trying some thing on the Yeerk we have prisoner, we've found that Argon and Hydrogen, mixed in a combination, can cause a deadly reaction in the Yeerk's systems. If we put some into the Kandrona Rays, the mere presence of the chemicals would be extremely harmful to the Yeerk's organs. In simple terms- they will be poisened. They could not live in their hosts bodies any longer. They would all die."
There was a long moment of silence. Then, Rachel exploded. "You here that guys??!!! We can win after all! We can win!" She started to laugh- just the kind of laugh you use when you are just relieved to be alive and have a new hope blossoming.
Cassie was the only one not happy.
"What about the Yeerks in the resistance?" she demanded, looking at everyone accusingly. "What about them? They'd die! Starve from not being able to get Kandrona Rays without being poisened." No one spoke for a long time.
^Cassie...^ Tobias said quietly. ^It's the only way. We can't hope to win. If we do this-^
"If we do this, then how are we better then the Andalites when they unleashed the Quantum Viris? How are we better?!" she choked out, her anguish in her eyes. "I don't like Yeerks. They're evil, terrible things. But some aren't like that- some want peace!"
"Well, they won't get it," Marco said coldly. "They've had their chance to turn things around for the past few years. It's our turn to find a solution."
"It's not a solution! It's a massacer!" she shouted, tears spilling over her eyes. Jake silently put his arm around her, but didn't say anything.
Finally, Ax dared to say something in the hostil air. ^If we do not do this... We may never have another chance.^
Cassie turned and screamed at him. "You hate Yeerks! Don't tell me you don't! You don't... don't..." She stopped, sobbing. Ax took a step back, pain filling his expression. He felt guilty, and yet angry. Yes, it was true that he hated Yeerks, but he was just attempting to be logical...
Cassie looked at him emptily, her gaze trapped. She was scared- she didn't know what to do anymore. What was right... What was wrong... Everything was all mixed up. "Your right," she finally said hollowly. "I can't just let people be enslaved for a handful of the enslavers." She looked away, at a spot in the barn, where no one could meet her eyes. Jake did not say anything- only put his arms around her again and held her.
"So it's decided..." Rachel finally said. "We're going back to the Yeerk Pool."
Jake nodded. "Everyone go home, and come back in two hours." Everyone left, except Cassie and Ax.
Ax paused at the doorway, now in human morph. "I am sorry..." Cassie looked up, and shook her head sadly.
"I'm the sorry one, Ax. I shouldn't have yelled at you- it's not your fault." She buried her face in her hands and started to cry softly.
Ax looked on uncomfortably, and then hesitantly opened the door. On his way out, he stopped, and turned. "It is worth the price, Cassie. Freedom is always worth it. That is what Elfangor used to say."
Cassie looked up, her face streaked with tears and dust. She smiled sadly. "Yeah, I know. For freedom, anything's worth it."
Ax left, closing the door behind him.
The last thing he saw as he left was Cassie gently tugging the rabbit out of his hiding place, where he had scampered when she set him down, and hugging the furry creature, and softly crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ax opened his eyes, tears similar to the ones Cassie had shed flowing down his cheeks. They had gone down to the Yeerk Pool and had put the chemical into the Kandrona Rays, but at what price? Peaceful Yeerks had been killed, and his friends destroyed.
"For freedom, anything's worth it," he whispered bitterly. "That does not mean it does not hurt."
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas;
Let your heart be light."
There were more carolers, singing down south of where he stood. Ax could hear them singing in the night, thier voices peaceful and in harmony. "A Merry Little Christmas." How fitting it was- on the one night his heart felt heaviest of all. He breathed in the cold night air, watching his breath come out as a cloud of mist.
"From now on, your troubles will be out of sight."
"Ax?"
Ax turned in surprise at the familiar voice. "Jordan?"
Jordan stood, rubbing her arms on her demin coat. "Jeez, it's cold out. Why couldn't you mope somewhere warmer?" She walked up to him, and gazed up at the memorial. Her eyes grew sad, distanced. "Do you come here often?"
Ax shook his head. "Not as much as I should." "Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay."
Jordan smiled sadly. "I love this song... It used to be my favorite. We'd... we'd sing it every Christmas- Rachel, Sara, Mom, and me..." Her voice choked. "We used to. But now that Rachel's gone..." She shook her head, tears in her eyes.
"From now on, your troubles will be miles away."
Ax did not hesitate- he took her in his arms and held her. She buried her face in his jacket, and together they stood- brought together by pain and war, but also by the bond of friendship and love.
For a moment, Ax could have sworn that Tobias and the others were there as well.
"It is alright..." Ax whispered, tears slipping down his face too. He wiped them away, and stepped back, still keeping her close though. She smilied, and sniffed once.
"Thanks, I needed one of those." Jordan said softly. She looked up at Ax, and at the memorial. "I come here a lot... Just to say hi, I guess. God, I miss her. It wasn't fair, Ax. It wasn't fair she died."
"Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore."
The snow fell softly around them, and the stars were twinkling brightly as Ax answered. "None of it was fair, Jordan. I don't think it was supposed to be fair. That is just the way life is." He looked sad. "That is just the way life is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is worth the price, Cassie. Freedom is always worth it. That is what Elfangor used to say."
Cassie looked up, her face streaked with tears and dust. She smiled sadly. "Yeah, I know. For freedom, anything's worth it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ax shivered as the memory filled his mind again. "No," he repeated softly. "It was not fair."
Jordan took his hand and squeezed it.
"Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more."
Ax took her other hand, and held them both. He gazed at her for what seemed like the first time. Her long, blond hair shone in the moonlight, and the snow flakes were collecting on the top. Her blue eyes were sad, but they held promise in them too.
The same promise Tobias had made in his dying breath.
Now, Ax remembered. He remembered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ax-man..." Tobias's breathing was hard, and his eyes sad. "Don't worry about me, okay? Promise me you'll be okay. Pr..om.." He gasped weakly. Ax looked like he was going to cry, although Andalites are not capable of tears.
^I cannot...^
"You're going to be okay, Ax..." Tobias squeezed his hand gently. "If you live... You're going to be okay. Promise me you'll be okay."
He was dying. What could Ax say? He would never be okay with his best friend dead. Not his nephew- the human who had been like a brother to him. Not with Tobias gone. But if it offered his friend any amount of comfort to hear it said...
^I promise...^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow."
Ax exhaled shakily, tears brimming in his eyes at the hidden flash of memory. He had made that promise- but blocked it- because he had not wanted to be okay. He had not wanted to forget them.
Now he realized that it had been the truth.
He would be okay.
Jordan looked at him in concern. "Are you okay, Ax?" Ax looked at her, at Jordan- beautiful, crazy, funny Jordan. Snowflake covered Jordan. And he laughed.
"Yes, I will be okay, Jordan," he said truthfully, looking into her eyes. "We will all be okay. I know that know. We will all be okay."
"Hang a shining star upon the highest bough..."
Somewhere far, far away, a small child laughed as he put the shinging star upon the tree. It was laughter from a child given freedom by unknown heroes. Ax held Jordan close, and gazed into her eyes. They were as bright as the stars. They held everything- hope, dreams, a future. Everything he needed. Everything he wanted.
They would be okay.
Without saying a word, Ax took Jordan's face in his hands. Her breath caught, and her beautiful, crystal blue eyes widened, but she did not move away. He slowly brought his head down, and she raised hers, and their lips met in a kiss that brought warmth to their chilled bones and hope to their hearts.
Hope...
"And have yourself a merry little Christmas now."
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THE END: Ahh... I love Christmas stories... How was it? Please review! I need opinions here!!! I'd like to thank L'Angel, for all her help with my spelling... the subject I hate the most. Thank you!!! I'm not sure if I'll do another one- it just depends on my reviews!! :)
